Chapter 5 ~ Friends?

And

He was alive

I took a deep breath in relief then pushed him away when I found his unwavering eyes on my face.

He staggered back, shifting away immediately with an alarmed expression on seeing whatever had crossed over my face.

"Listen I wasn't going to jump.." he clarified shaking his head vigorously.

I stared at him viciously, "what's wrong with you!" I yelled at him.

My hands turned into fists, I reached him then punched on his jaw his face flipped back to me in shock.

He didn't expect it, even I didn't.

I was shocked too but more than that I was hysterical.

"How can you?"I slapped on his chest this time shocking further, him and me.

He stared at me weirdly probably wondering why I was throwing a fit?

Clumsy, awkward and she was psycho too?

But I had reached a point of no return, where I couldn't restrict my emotions and thoughts.

I continued glaring at him my breathing getting hard. I felt cold sweat rolling down from my forehead to my cheeks.

I shoved him again to bring some sense into his head, "don't you have any care for anyone?" I asked wiping my eyes.

"For your parents?" I asked again when he didn't reply just stared at me stunned.

He caught my wrist when I swung my arm at him angrily, "please calm down I swear I wasn't going to jump-." he stopped didn't complete his sentence rather observed me with concern.

I was finding it harder to breath I held my head counting backwards to not panic or worse faint.

"You are looking pale" he extended his hand and touched my head lightly. I looked at him taking in his face, seeing it from this near I couldn't help but have my eyes enthralled by the sharpness of his features. Under those bangs it didn't show much it didn't tell how handsome he really was, without all those bruises and hair hiding it.

And he was going to jump

"you were going to jump!" I repeated what was shouting in my head.

He was going to jump?

What if I too was late?

What if I couldn't save him also?

My throat got thick with emotions I gasped, saw black dots dancing in front of me I held his hand for support counting backwards this time more loudly" 60, 59, 58, 57, 56..."

"I wasn't" he told me in a louder, stronger and calmer voice. The calmness seap in me it worked a little but it did help me to catch my breath and tell my head to stop panicking ..he is alright! No one is hurt..

No one is dead...

When I thought I was relaxed I made an effort to get up I winced when my back hurt .

He helped me in getting up. I awkwardly held his arm because I think I might have fractured my tailbone. Sahil wasn't light as feather and with the suddenness of him landing on top of me it really hurt my body.

It ached like a weak person's body on inside and outside, all over.

Not to mention I was still breathing so hard my body was delayed in recieving the signal that everything was ok so just shut it and calm down!

"Do you have asthma?" Sahil asked in concerned, studying my condition.

"shock induced asthma" I lied

"Oh" he nodded confusedly, really believing that I have some recently invented fake disease

My eyes dropped to my hands where I held his arm I pulled them away immediately.
"Were you really not going to jump? You were just standing right on top of it for fun? just like that?" I asked incredulously not really believing he was just standing on ralling of the terrace for nothing.

"I am a gymnast or I was..." he told looking away

I watched his face in disbelief, "so what? Just because you are a gymnast or you were? That doesn't mean you have the liability to end your life!"

His head snapped to me, he struggled between bursting into laughter or worry about my condition.

I just couldn't believe this guy wasn't suicidal. And also I couldn't think clearly after catching him right there on the brink of ending his life, which appeared to be the biggest and solid reason why he climbed it for.

"I have a good balance I do it all the time, since childhood and I was at a safe distance-

"You've been trying to kill yourself since childhood!" I asked eyeing him in a new spotlight.

He was really suicidal.

His jaw dropped
"What? No! I mean ... are you even listening? and understanding what I am trying to say?"

"No!" I shook my head, honestly. "I mean you were bullied and I-" I stopped when it dawn on me that how could I ignore all those signs? This boy was suffering, it was right there clear in front of my eyes but I turned them blind and said it wasn't my business but if today he jumped off and I was too late... I blinked, the bile was rising in my throat, I felt sick of me.

Everytime signs were right in front of me and I ignored them and acted dumb and selfish like it didn't matter. I acted like the others....just like them...to have guilt trip to wish on impossible, if I could have done something?

Wish I could have helped him somehow?

But why do we want to take some actions when it's too late?

My lips trembled as I focused my attention back on him"I am sorry" I said in a croaked voice, "I should have helped you" tears filled my eyes my body filled with emotions I couldn't explain suffocating me again this time more tightly leaving no place to justify anything.

Sahil got startled seeing my condition and how it was taking a different route, he reached out and tentatively put his hand on my shoulder, "relax it's all right I am all right....don't blame yourself this has really nothing to do with you" he literally pleaded when my tears didn't stop I knew I looked worse. Shaking, gasping and ugly crying. But I couldn't gather myself cause his words were same.... exact same to what I have been reading everyday

This has nothing to do with you

Then why am I always connected to it?

"Should I call someone?" Sahil asked sounding worried."why I am even asking! I am going to call-"

"Wait" I stopped him, "just give me a minute" I requested getting near the railing I held it to have a moment and give some time to my panick attack.

Sahil didn't leave my side he appeared tense glancing back and forth at the door for downstairs and me. Probably, he wanted to get away from such a melodramatic girl.

"Here" he offered something.

I lifted my head at his extended head that was holding I was expecting water but it was Red bull?

My eyes transferred to him reluctantly making me mildly amused when he rubbed his neck awkwardly, "I should probably get some water? I mean I definitely should give water not ..red bull.." he babbled.

"Red bull gives you wings that's why you were standing..."
I chuckled at the absurdity

"No!" He denied immediately and was embarassed ,"that's not one of the reasons why I did so"

I nodded with a small smile looking ahead at the view, feeling a bit relaxed now.

But,
No matter what he says I couldn't believe he was standing for fun and maybe he was, however, when I put all the pieces together bullying and accepting it with no fight, acting uncaring about his sister and not taking his medications on time it made him suicidal .. it might be a big term but he was a little self destructive I guess...I can't help but feel restless and connected like if I didn't do anything I will be blamed at the end. Because after knowing all of that it was me who didn't act upon it.

"I can show you again how I can stand without losing my balance if that will make you okay.. I am not lying I am not suicidal" Sahil tried to make me understand on noticing me observing him with a frown

"Don't get me wrong, I believe you, you are gymnast I believe you you know how to balance but on 11th floor isn't it a bit extreme? Gymnast or not you will die if you fall" I said with a raised eyebrow.

He shrugged with a lopsided and a dark grin,"I don't fall, that's the catch"

"Never?" I asked in disbelief

"Ever" he completed, his grin getting wider.

I nodded biting my lower lip, "but there's a first time for everything" I mumbled.

"Okay let's see to that" he raised his leg to get on it. I instantly clasped his arm stopping him, "don't" I said with fear right there evident on my face.

He read it curiously, tilting his head

"Not from 11 not from 12 not when I am here or not, just don't" I said leaving his arm when he stayed unmoving and staring at me trying to understand why I was so weird, maybe.

I dropped my hand then said, "you're so different I mean I imagined you to be-

"Wait you imagined me?" He asked cheekily with smugness in his eyes.

I made a face,"I thought you know when I first saw you getting bullied..." I stopped abruptly glancing at his face. Feeling like I should explain why I didn't do anything.

Because acting like that's not my business was easier than doing something.

He clenched his jaw nodding stiffly, "oh yes my lowest point, that day"

I tried again
"I thought you to be-

"Weak, shy and antisocial type of person?" He provided, guessing it wrong that was actually me he was describing.

I thought he was sweet, innocent and just like... Aarav

"Ah not exactly I thought you to be a boy with a lightning scar and secretly hiding an invitation letter from a magic University" I lied with a straight face.

It took a moment for him to realise I wasn't serious,"oh Harry Potter the most overrated character!" He said

"Hey! He was an underdog and well he proved everyone wrong by his sheer valour" I argued

He laughed in a mocking way
"valour??? Seriously he was just one goddamn lucky guy"

"So what? you liked Malfoy or what?" I asked in disbelief

He shrugged, "he was at least realistic"

"You know that's absurd, hating Harry is very absurd-

"Alright I don't want to fight with you I don't like it..."

I raised my eyebrow in confusion

He cleared his throat, "let's agree to disagree?" He held out his hand

I eyed it for a second but then shook it. His hold was warm and strong but light and soft at the same time, he shook it lightly and held it for some extra seconds before dropping it

"You are exactly like I imagined you" he said vaguely

"Like what?" I asked, wondering.

Cold, selfish, uncaring?

"Unconventionally pleasant" he said

I shot him an impressed look, quite a way he had to boast any insecure person's self esteem.

"Don't flirt with me" I said, rather sharply.

"I wasn't flirting I was just being honest" he continued flirting.

"You won't flirt with me if we are going to be friends" I blurted

"We are going to be friends?" He asked bewildered by the fact and also little hesitant at the 'friends' term

"Oh yeah we are friends since the time you decided to climb at the railing" I told, how else would I know he wasn't suicidal

How else would I get rid of the guilt if he was?

"I shouldn't have done that, then" he mumbled appearing so underwhelmed to be friends with me

I can understand, I am not the best choice to be friends with.

But knowing all, knowing everything and how they all connect to each other. That whatever Sahil was hiding could someday corner him to a place where he would give up any hope to continue

I don't know whether I could help him or not

I don't know whether my assumptions were right or wrong

But,

I can't act like I don't care

I can't act like I can't be of any help without trying

I can't make the same mistake twice

And this was how he became the noticed character of my story...

•••

Do give me enough votes ppl for the next update☹️🤗

Don't I deserve them?