[Four years ago]

"Michael!" Luke squealed, flailing his arms around as he tried to escape the hold of his best friend. "Stop!"

"Never in a million years, Hemmings." Michael grinned. He pinched at Luke's sides a few more time before the blond went limp in his hold. "Do you give up yet?"

Luke let out a long sigh, turning around in Michael's hold. They were closer than before, making Luke's already flushed face even darker, but Michael didn't seem to notice or react the same way. "Giving up is letting you win. I can't let you win this war. You'll tell Ashton and Calum and they'll never let me forget." Luke pouted, shoving at Michael's arms for him to release him, but Michael wouldn't budge.

"You're just so small." Michael cooed. Not realizing what he said could affect Luke as much as it did. Luke wouldn't look him in the eye as he spoke. "They'd never believe that won. You always lose at tickle wars."

Luke wiggled away from Michael, a triumphant smile and fist pump to the air showed Michael he was proud of the small accomplishment. Something as small of escaping Michael's grip always excited Luke, even though Michael let him free, he'd never tell Luke that. Michael always wanted to see that smile on his face.

Luke changed the direction of the conversation, bringing up the one topic they've avoided talking about much lately. "We're starting our last first day of high school tomorrow. Are you excited?"

"Do you even know me? I've been waiting for this day since I was born."

"I do know this." Luke giggled. 

"I still can't believe our schedules are basically the same. Whoever put them together clearly doesn't know what happens when we're in the same room." Michael shook his head, a small smile gracing his lips. 

Luke around the small space of Michael's extremely messy room. The blond collapsed on the twin size bed and buried his face in Michael's pillow and patted the space next to him where Michael soon joined him, pulling him close to cuddle. 

Luke felt so confused around his best friend lately and he kept telling himself he was simply being hormonal about everything. You're not supposed to see people you're close to differently in such a short amount of time. They've been best friends for years and suddenly seeing Michael as this person he wants to spend the rest of his life with was not something to expect and it scared Luke. He wanted to avoid the topic and never bring it up to Michael. Luke didn't want to be laughed at for something he wasn't 100% sure about at the moment. He was going to avoid the situation at all costs.

That's how Luke ended up ignoring Michael for the first half of their senior year.

And that's how Michael thought his world was ending. Luke held him together and kept him at peace and suddenly he wasn't there anymore and his world started to slowly fall apart.

////

"Hey did Luke tell you about the YouTube channel he started?" Ashton sat down next to brunet, a bowl of popcorn in one hand and the dvd remote in the other. 

Michael's hand froze over the bowl before he placed it back on his lap. "No. Why would he?"

"Are you two still not talking? Its been four months, just talk to him already."

Michael stared blankly at the TV screen in front of them. The movie not even catching his attention at the moment. Luke was the only thing on his mind anymore, not much has changed there. "No, he hates me now. He told me so at the beginning of the year. You and Cal were there. I don't get why you keep bringing it back up. Besides," Michael ran his fingers through his hair to fix his fringe. "You still talk to him regularly, why don't you ask him why he hates me so much?"

Ashton scoffed, looking at his friend who has turned himself into someone he isn't over the past four months. "Luke can't even kill a spider without crying and talking about how it probably had a family and that he ruined it's life. There's not a bad bone in that boy, I honestly doubt that he hates you of all people, you always came first. Always. How does he go from loving you to pure hatred?"

"I don't know." Michael sighed, his chest tightening. "Can we not talk about him right now? I'm trying to watch this movie."

"No you're not. You're staring blankly at the TV."

"So what?!" Michael exclaimed, glaring at Ashton. "I don't want to talk about Luke. I don't want to talk about how he took my heart with him four months ago and it's being stomped on repeatedly every day by him. I don't want to keep moving forward where my best friend hates me, but I can't help it! I can't help but continue to love him endlessly. Just... I don't want to talk about Luke!" Michael chewed on his bottom lip, holding back the tears he's kept pent up. He can't let it out, it makes the situation much more real. Michael just wanted to believe that this is a dream and he'll wake up with Luke beside him the day before their senior year and everything would be normal.

Ashton was left speechless by Michael's confession. "You love him?"

"I love him so fucking much. It's not even in just a best friend type of way. I legitimately love him whole heartedly and he'll never know because he hates me."

"Michael–"

"Save your breath, it's not worth trying to comfort me over this. I'm pathetic."

Ashton nodded, knowing coddling and words of reassurance wasn't something Michael needed at the moment. Michael needed Luke. "Talk to him." Ashton murmured. Michael didn't reply, but he knew that's exactly want he needed to do. 

////

"Luke!" Michael shouted, rushing to reach the blond before he left.

The blonde turned around in the partially empty hallway. Everyone was rushing away from this place in excitement for winter break. They'd run out to their cars to crank up the heat and escape the mounds of snow outside and celebrate that exams are done for the semester and they finally have a few weeks to catch up on some sleep.

"Michael?" Luke stopped, looking confused on why Michael would even want to talk to him after everything that has happened between them this year.

"The one and only."

"What do you want?" Luke asked, arms crossed over his chest. His backpack perched on his back because Luke would always claim that having it hanging on only one shoulder made him feel like his shoulder was going to cave in. Michael could see the keychain he made Luke in Eight grade still securely in place where he left it all those years ago, which confused him. If Luke hated him so much wouldn't he have thrown out everything that once reminded him of the brunet?

"We need to talk." Michael said. "About us." 

Luke rolled his eyes to make it seem like he couldn't care less right now. "There's nothing to talk about, okay? What don't you get? I hate you and I don't want you in my life anymore."

Michael bit his bottom lip, the words spewing from Luke's mouth making him feel even worse about the situation. He just wanted his best friend back, but this wasn't the Luke he knew. Luke Hemmings was never this cruel and that's what shocked Michael more than anything. "You don't mean that. We're best friend till the end. Don't you remember that? What made you change so fast. One day we're having a tickle war and then the next day you-" Michael stopped talking, looking away from the blond in front of him. He couldn't say it out loud.

"I hated you..." Luke finished for him. 

"Why?" Michael whispered sounding so broken.

Luke couldn't look at Michael. Michael never cried, but Luke had a feeling it's happened a lot recently and right now it looked like he'd burst any second. "I can't tell you."

"Bullshit! Tell me and I'll leave you alone.. Give me some type of closure so I know for sure this friendship is over and I'm not left waiting to get my best fiend back."

"I-I can't. Accept that, please!" Luke begged, this isn't what he wanted either. Luke never truly wanted to act like he hated Michael. He never wanted the one person he truly loved to think he hated him more than anyone else. Luke tried avoiding a small confession of love and it turned around and messed up everything. The past four months he thought about what would've happened if he would have just told Michael the truth. But, there's no going back now. The only thing he can do now is continue this game and have Michael hate him forever or grow up and just tell him the truth.

"I won't. You're lying to me, Luke. You think I don't know you, but I know you better than you know yourself."

"Michael. Please let it go..."

"Why should I? Never once in my life have you shown me anything but kindness and suddenly the most genuine person I know hates me? I don't believe it and I'm not letting it go. Just tell me!" Michael all but shouted at the blond. The hallways around them completely deserted and it was only them.

"Fuck it!" Luke dropped his backpack, and walked up to Michael and leaving a small amount of space between them. Their breaths mingling and Michael looked terrified on what Luke was going to say or do next. Luke might've been smaller than Michael, but he could still be terrifying when he wanted to. "I love you! I love you so much I made myself try to hate you, so you'd never know. Are you happy?"

Michael's eyes widened, his lips parting and a small gasp leaving his lips. "You love me? Why didn't you just tell me? Instead you dumped me like a piece of trash to avoid it? Why on earth did you think that work, Luke? Please elaborate."

"I-I don't know, OK? I don't have a clue on why I thought that was a good idea, but it happened and here we are now yelling in each others faces."

"Well for you information, I love you too." Michael grabbed his bag off the ground and left Luke standing in the hallway bewildered on what had happened.

////

"I'm sorry." Luke stood in Michael's doorway with a pizza and their favorite movies pilled high in another hand. "I'm the biggest idiot in the world for trying to sabotage our own friendship because I was scared of rejection." Luke apologized, continuing to say he was sorry in attempt to get Michael to let him instead and out of the below freezing weather.

"At least you know how dumb it was. And maybe with time I'll forgive you completely, but right now this pizza is getting cold so come on in and devour it with me and we'll talk more later. Does that sound good?" Michael asked, motioning for the blond to take his wet shoes and coat off in the doorway. 

"Yeah it does."

Weeks later and a lot of apologizing and confessing to one another about what they missed the past four months separated, Michael decided asking Luke out on a date was the best decision he made during winter break and the rest between them only seemed to get better with time. 

////

this is extremely long jfc. but there's a little flashback on muke and how their relationship is. chapters will go back and forth between present and past throughout this story so their will be cute muke things and then what's actually happening between them during all the drama in their lives. I'm honestly really excited for this and I have't felt this way about a story since I finished chasing clifford.