[anya rose steinburg]
-

the crowd looked insane.

well, could i really describe it as insane? no, it was something out of this world. it was extraordinary. shawn was stood centre stage, and the crowd was decked out in little blue and white flashlights, probably a fan project, all of them shining dramatically to the stage as he sung his heart out to when you're ready.

i felt myself get a little bit overwhelmed just from standing at the wings of the stage. shawn had asked everyone to be a little more quieter before he started the song, and once he started singing, i swear the entire arena was in awe.

tonight was magical.

"crazy, right?" karen asks me gently, standing next to me, and giving me a quick side hug. i chuckle softly, wiping my eyes, and nodding.

"insane," i mumble, turning towards her. "he's incredible."

"every time i see him perform it just gets better and better," she grins, as i smile again, laying my head on her shoulder. "when are you two heading out?"

"flights at 5am, so i guess we're gonna grab a taxi at around 2?" shawn and i had changed our travel plans slightly. instead of going to france and bali, we decided to stick to fiji, the maldives, and greece.

"i'm so jealous of you two," she says to me, a small chuckle leaving her lips. "i've always wanted to go."

"you should've told us! we would've booked flights for you and manny too! that would have been so much fun," i pout, standing up straight. "come on, join us for the maldives! we can talk to shawn about it, please karen?"

"okay," she gives in, laughing. "only because we've all got time off, including aaliyah," she says.

"yes!" i cheer, making her laugh again. "okay that's good, because shawn wasn't gonna come to the spa with me, and now i have people to go with."

"spa? what's this about a spa?" aaliyah says, walking to stand next to us, as i grin, folding my arms against my chest.

"you guys are coming to maldives with shawn and i."

"no way," aaliyah says, dropping her mouth in shock. "you're joking."

"nope, i'll get shawn to book your flights, and you'll meet us in the maldives. you're coming with us," i say to her.

"oh my god, you're the best!" she squeals, jumping up and throwing her arms around me. "i can't wait! but i need to pack, and go shopping-"

"hey, chill," i chuckle, making her smile nervously. "you're coming with us."

"shawn asking you to be his girlfriend was probably the best decision he's ever made," she sighs in happiness, making me laugh again.

"thank you so much, auckland, you guys were amazing! i love you, and i'll see you all soon, goodbye!" shawn yells from the stage, making my heart race, before aaliyah steps away from me, letting me see shawn run off stage, taking his mic off, and swinging his guitar around his back. he grins widely at me, before rushing over and swooping me up in his arms, twirling me about, making me giggle widely.

"shawn! you did amazing!" i grin, placing my hands delicately over his shoulders, as he eases me down slowly, moving his hands down to my waist, pulling me closer.

"hmm, thank you hunny," he whispers, laying his lips onto my cheek, holding me close to his warm and slightly sweaty body. "i gotta go shower quick, but will you meet me in my dressing room? we can head back to the hotel to pack final things."

"of course," i nod, moving one of my hands to his chest, laying it softly over his shirt clad skin gently.

"see you in a bit," he grins, pulling away from my waist, before i whine quickly, grasping onto his shirt and pulling him closer to me.

"seeing you do what you love makes me feel things that you wouldn't even know," i whisper, sliding my fingers over his shirt, leaning up and pressing my lips to his softly. "i love you."

"i love you," he mumbles back. "i can't wait till we get to our hotel in fiji," he smirks, laying his forehead on mine, making my cheeks flush. "i love you, hunny."

"love you more," i murmur back, letting go of him as he walks away, hugging his mum and sister on his way out.

shawn and i were getting more and more handsy recently. it was like we genuinely couldn't keep our hands off of each other, like we constantly had to be holding each other, having our fingers intwined, giving the other little kisses here and there. we had to constantly have some sort of contact with each other.

i knew that he wanted to get intimate.

whatever we would do, it would be my first time with him. shawn and i haven't gone further than a subtle grope of my ass or breasts.

to say i was nervous, was an understatement.

what if the sex was bad? what if we had no other chemistry apart from just on screen romance? what if he doesn't think i'm good enough? i couldn't help but to question every doubt that came across my mind, and it made me feel physically sick. shawn had been with a lot more people compared to me, and i can't deny feeling anxious and slightly insecure of myself. what if i'm not enough?

i decide to quickly shake off my thoughts, before escaping to shawns dressing room.

i couldn't wait to get to fiji.
-
"you alright, babe?" i turn around quickly, shoving the silk piece into my suitcase, seeing shawn standing at the door of the hotel bathroom, as we finish up packing the final pieces we're taking with us.

"yeah, fine," i quickly push out, as he smiles softly, walking over and laying his hands on my waist, easing me closer to him with a small tug. "just excited."

"me too, hun," he grins. "i've got a little surprise waiting for you as soon as we get there. well, for the evening. i promise it's gonna be special."

he spins me around, pressing his lips gently to the back of my neck, causing a chill to run through me, and goosebumps to ride my arms. he slips his arms around my torso, pecking at the warm skin at my neck, his calloused hands slipping under my shirt and resting on the skin of my waist.

"shawn," i whisper, turning myself around, coming face to face with him. "slow down."

"you don't like it?" he asks, his small smile faltering slightly.

"no, no i do- i just," i sigh softly, moving my hands to his shoulders. "save some for when we get there?"

"okay," he nods, pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead, before bringing me close to his embrace, wrapping his arms securely around me. "i'm gonna make it so good for you hunny."

"hmm," i sigh, looking up and playing with the hair at the back of his neck, bringing one of my hands to cup his cheek. "you're amazing."

"come on, let's finish packing up."

the two of us continued to fold away clothes, putting them into each of our suitcases, sneaking little glances at each other, shawn making faces, causing me to laugh every so often.

he just looked so happy.

it made my heart swell to see how happy and carefree he looked. it warmed me to see him so content and so utterly at peace, it was such an incredible feeling to see him relaxed. that alone calmed my anxiousness completely.
-
i fiddled nervously with the tie of my silk robe, which rested effortlessly over my shoulders, covering the lace bodysuit i was wearing. shawn and i had just got back from dinner, and we were finally back in our fairly large little villa in the middle of the sea in fiji. he had sent me to the bathroom while he prepared a few things, and i heard a soft echo of music running through the room, along with the faint pop of a champagne bottle.

my heart felt like it was beating a million times per second, i could hear my heartbeat everywhere, and it scared me slightly.

"shawn?" i knock softly at the wood, letting go of the tie, and smoothing out the silk. "can i come out?"

"yeah," he says gently, making my heart leap, and my breath quicken slightly. i shut my eyes, taking a deep breath, before pushing the door open, my eyes opening immediately, seeing the room dimly lit, the bed covered in red rose petals, and two glasses of champagne in shawns hands.

he was standing there, his eyes slightly wide, as he surveyed my body. his torso was clad in a simple red button up, which was tucked into a pair of black trousers, his curls wild and unruly on his head, and his face holding a slight look of lust.

"oh hunny," he whispers, holding out the glass of champagne, and letting me take it. i bite my lower lip gently, before taking his glass along with mine, and placing them on the table next to the bed. "you look- wow," he chuckles in bewilderment, moving his hands around me. "you're stunning."

"thank you," i say softly, easing myself away from him slightly, before sliding the robe off of my shoulders, revealing the deep red wine coloured lace. shawns eyes widen again, as i let the robe fall to the floor, raising my hands and pushing shawn down to sit on the bed. i carefully straddle his waist, whilst his hands find their way to my hips, and my hands fiddle with his collar, undoing the top two buttons.

"oh my god, i love you," he whispers, leaning forward and capturing my lips with his. i quickly move my hands to his shoulders, steadying myself, as i deepen the kiss, slowly rocking my hips over his. "anya rose, you make me crazy," he chuckles against my lips, before moving his hands further down, and squeezing softly, making a moan slip out of my mouth.

"good," i whisper, finding a spurt of confidence, as i lean up again, kissing his smooth lips once more, whilst he moves his hands back to rest over my waist, biting down onto my lower lip softly. "i love you," i say gently, pulling away and fiddling with the buttons further down on his shirt, undoing them, and easing his shirt away from his torso. he slips it off of his arms, letting go of my waist, and chucking his shirt down onto the floor, before pulling me back to his chest, and laying back on the bed, flipping us over so i am underneath him, the rose petals feeling slightly cool on my warm and tingling skin.

"can i make love to you?" he asks me softly, trailing kisses away from my lips, down my jawline and towards my neck. i nod, slipping my arms around his shoulders.

it was going to be a long night.