chapter twenty-three
fake
[anya rose steinburg]
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i'm such an idiot. why did i close the door and say goodbye? i don't want to say goodbye.

heck, why did i sign the papers?

if i didn't, maybe shawn would be here right now, we both would have apologised, and wrapped up in each other's arms, enjoying time together.

i miss him so much.

the front door opens, and i jump up in shock, but then calming down when kelsey enters, two suitcases with her.

"kelsey!" i say happily, running up to hug her. "hey, how was canada?"

"amazing, i saw my entire family." she laughs, hugging me back. "how was your christmas?" i shrug, looking down.

"it could've been better." i say sadly. "anyway, what do you want to do?"

"sleep, my flight was exhausting, sorry anya." she apologises, taking her jacket and shoes off, dragging her suitcases to her room.

i sit back on the bar stool, sighing and sitting in peace, feeling even more alone than i did when kelsey wasn't here.

i grab my phone, wallet and keys, leaving a note for kelsey, before leaving my apartment and walking into the cold, brisk air of new york city.

i turn around sharply, being hit to the ground by a jogger.

"hey! watch-" i cut myself off when he looks up. shawn.

"oh fuck, i'm so sorry anya." he mumbles standing up and pulling me up by my hand. "are you hurt? do you need ice? do you-"

"shut up, shawn." i groan.

"i'm sorry." he mumbles.

"i know you are." i quickly say back, folding my arms.

"aren't you cold?" he says, pointing at my arms that aren't covered by a jacket. i shrug, looking up at him.

"here, have mine." shawn slips off his puffer he was running in, and slings it over my shoulders, as i slide my arms through the arm holes.

"are you sure you don't need this?" he smiles softly at me.

"no, keep it too, i have loads." he says.

"shawn-" i cut myself off. "we ended it, you know that."

"i know." he says. "but i'm going to try and win you back, and you can't stop me."

"and how are you going to that if i won't let you win me back?" i fold my arms, shawns jacket swallowing me whole.

"because i had a dream, and everything in that dream felt right. we felt right." he says. "i messed up, i know that, and i'm gonna try so hard not to, and to make you understand i love you with all my heart."

"good luck on that." i say.

"oh thanks." he smiles cheekily at me. "you didn't read the full file though, did you?"

"what do you mean?" i ask, confused.

"the entire thing can only be terminated till after three months." he smirks. "you still technically are my girlfriend, and you still have to attend press, my shows, and travel with us till the end of three months."

"but i've already played out one month! we were broken up for an entire month shawn!" i fight back. "damn you."

"damn andrew, he came up with the rules, not me." shawn puts his hands up in surrender.

"we're off to london next week, for a week."

"again?" i sigh. "god london always brings us back together."

"i know, that's why i'm happy." he smiles. "have a good day, girlfriend."

"fuck off shawn." i snap, walking past him, groaning, but smiling as soon as i turn the corner.

i can act like his girlfriend, and i've never been happier about quitting a job before.
-
[shawn peter raul mendes]
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"andrew, thank you so much!" i shout, walking into his office, my entire team seated in the meeting room.

"use it wisely shawn, don't mess up." he warns.

"i won't, i gave her my jacket for gods sake." i laugh, sitting at the meeting table.

"so, vip sales go online in ten minutes, shawn." andrew comments. "i tweeted the promo for you."

"thanks andrew, lets see if it crashes." i say sarcastically. "i'll do some snapchats hold on."

i walk outside, to a more quiet area and open my snapchat app. "hey guys, i just wanted to say illuminate world tour vip sales are in less than ten minutes, go to illuminateworldtour.com to get them!" i post it, going through all my snapchats, before exiting the app and putting my phone back in my pocket, going back into the meeting room.

vip sells out fast, in less than a minute for europe fast, and the older north america dates in less than five minutes. i see loads of people tweeting, saying that they got it and are meeting me, and i smile, thinking about how many fans i will be meeting this tour.

"okay well guys, i think it's time we went out." i suggest. "i'm kinda hungry."

"we'll find a place, i'll call a car." andrew says. "shawn, call anya."

"okay!" i say cheerily, getting my phone out and dialling her number up.

"fuck off shawn." she groans, answering the phone, making me laugh.

"hello to you too." i smile. "how is princess anya this fine afternoon?"

"cut the crap, why are you calling me?" she sharply says, making me frown slightly.

"andrew wants to invite you to dinner with us, everyone wants you there." she sighs, making me frown.

"fine, what time?" i smile again.

"now." i say. "be ready, i'll come and get you with the car."

"great, can't wait." she says sarcastically, before hanging up.

"i love you." i whisper, to no one on the line.

"shawn, cars here!" geoff calls, opening the office door. i nod, putting my phone back in my pocket and rushing to the elevators, taking it down to the lobby, walking outside and getting into the car where the rest of the team are.

"anya's apartment please." i tell andrew, who tells the driver where it is. we arrive there, and i get out, running to the flower stall next to her apartment, buying a bouquet of roses, before heading up to her apartment.

i knock on the door, holding the roses in my hands. she opens it, scowling at me, and her eyes trailing to the roses.

"i got you these." i say softly, handing them to her. she takes them, putting them on the counter and thanking me quietly, before we both head out, getting into the car, but not having though of the space for an extra person.

"geoff can i sit on your lap instead of shawns?" anya groans, as i sit inside, and geoff laughs.

"he doesn't bite." geoff says to her, making me laugh and anya sigh, climbing onto my lap. i slip my hands around her waist, and she pushes them away, slapping me.

"no touching mendes!" she scolds, earning a laugh from most of the people in the car. i chuckle, rolling my eyes. the car jerks forward, making her scream, and bash her head on the seat in front. "okay maybe a little touching." she says, shakily, as i sigh, holding my arms around her.

"anya." i mumble.

"hmm?" she hums, looking out of the window.

"your ass is bony." she groans, slapping me again, as i laugh.

"you know if you really want to win me back, no more comments like that." she scolds, as i roll my eyes.

"oh honey, you'll be screaming my name soon enough." she gasps, as geoff and andrew snigger, and i smile proudly, leaning my head on her back, enjoying the time i have with her in my arms.

"wait, what are we gonna say to fans about our relationship?" anya asks me, leaning back onto me slightly.

"just say we got back together." i shrug, looking out.

"then in three months?" she asks.

"we'll still be together." she groans, holding the seat in front of her, and leaning against it.
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"i'll have the linguini with cream sauce please." anya smiles at the waitress, ordering her food.

"make that two." i smile, putting my hand under the table. i smirk to myself, inching towards anya's thigh. i rest my hand on it, making her blush and frown at the same time, glaring at me. i shrug, squeezing it in my hand, making her gasp.

"shawn fucking stop." she mumbles, shoving my hand off her leg.

"you blushed, you liked it." i smirk back, placing my hand back onto the table. she blushes again, looking away.

"can't you just leave me alone for five minutes?"

"no can do baby."
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shawn on snl tonight i'm shook