chapter twenty-seven
fake
[shawn peter raul mendes]
-
she shakes me awake, the smell of syrup making my eyes open slowly, coming face to face with room service.

"morning shawn." anya says softly, as i sit up, smiling.

"what's all this for?" i say, admiring the breakfast spread on a bed table, anya sitting next to me.

"i felt bad so i ordered your favourites." she opens a basket, revealing chocolate chip muffins, and next to that, a stack of pancakes, with a bowl of fruit, and two glasses of orange juice.

"baby..." i trail off, pecking her cheek. "thank you."

"now eat shawn, before the pancakes get cold." anya says to me, ruffling my hair, and getting up.

"where are you going?" i ask, sealing my food.

"for a shower." anya says, grabbing a towel with her.

what's wrong with her today? maybe the time of the month? no, she's a lot more moodier then. i finish my pancakes and a muffin, with some fruit, before standing up and pushing the tray outside of the room for service to pick up.

i walk past the bathroom, and hear quiet cries, accompanied by the running water.

"anya?" i ask softly. "are you okay?"

"y-yeah." she stutters, as i hear the water close, and shuffling.

"honey, please let me in," i pause, waiting for her to reply. "i know you aren't okay."

she opens the door, a robe draped over her, tied in the front, and her hair up in a bun. she wipes away a few tears that have fallen, and walks into the hotel room, shutting the bathroom door behind her.

"what happened?" i ask, sitting next to her on the unmade bed. "anya?"

she looks down, tears sliding down her cheeks. i crouch in front of her, holding onto her hands. "anya you're scaring me." i whisper.

"m-my grandfather died." she sniffles, wiping her eyes. i sigh, pulling her up, and holding her close to my chest, as she cries into me, her body shaking.

"i'm so sorry, baby." i rub her back, gently rocking her side to side, as she sobs, her arms bunched up in front of my chest. "let it all out, i'm here."

"i-i," she stops herself, taking a shaky breath. "i gotta get back to the city."

"i'll come with you." i quickly say, as she looks up, frowning at me.

"you don't have to, shawn. you've already done enough for me." she reassures me softly. i cup her cheeks, wiping away her tears with my thumbs.

"i'm coming with you." i whisper. "i'll be there for you, just you."

"do you think andrew could book us the flights?" she asks softly, holding my torso.

"yeah, i'll go ask him now. start packing okay?" she nods, letting go of me. "stay strong hun."

i run a hand through my hair, walking out of our hotel room, and knocking on andrews. he opens the door, seeing my distressed, and immediately letting me in and shutting the door behind him.

"i need you to book two tickets to new york now, for today, and transport to the hamptons." he looks at me confused.

"what happened?" andrew asks, going straight to his laptop.

"anya's grandfather died." i say sadly, as andrews eyes go wide, and he begins to type things on his laptop.

"i can get you there for a flight in five hours, you'll get to the city today, and i'll get a car to pick you up to go to the hamptons, go start packing shawn, you've got two hours."

"i'll tell my fans i can't make the show today, and tell press i'm sorry." he nods as i walk out.

i unlock my hotel room door, seeing anya heaving both of our suitcases to the door.

"i packed your things too, there wasn't much to pack." she says quietly. "i don't get to say goodbye, shawn."

i sigh, wrapping my arms around her again. "anya listen to me." i mumble, pecking her forehead. "death is inevitable, but when it happens, it's crazy, and can sometimes make you think crazy thoughts. you got to say goodbye, in here." i point to her mind as she sadly smiles. "he's not suffering anymore, he's peaceful okay?"

"he had cancer." she says softly. "it kills me, because the last time i saw him was almost a year ago." she looks up at me. "i just feel so bad."

"i understand why." i whisper. "let me get changed quickly okay?" she nods.

"shawn? can i wear one of your hoodies?" i nod, going into my suitcase, taking out clothes for me, and a maroon hoodie for her. i walk up to her, sliding it over her t-shirt and leggings, as she frowns, hugging it close to her.

i quickly change into my jeans and top, putting my jacket over that. "what about your show today, shawn?" anya weakly asks, sitting on the bed.

"they'll understand, it's fine." i reassure her. "do you want to go to the airport early?" i run my hands up and down her arms, crouching in front of her.

"s-should we?" i shrug. "yeah lets go."

"hey anya?" i ask, as she stands up, walking in front of me.

"hmm?" she turns around, facing me.

"will your family like me? i mean it's a weird time to go for me, right?" she sighs, stepping forward.

"you did this for me, they'll love you." she says quietly. "maybe not my mom, but the rest will." she smiles at me. "don't be worried, love."

"no-no not that, it's just it's a weird time for me to go, am i intruding?" i question. she chuckles lightly.

"come on." she grabs my hand, and with her other hand she drags her suitcase. "oh i have to warn you though, there's loads of them."
-
as soon as our uber drops anya and i off at the airport, she bursts into another round of sobs, not wanting to go further and even step on the plane.

"baby." i coo, wrapping my arms around her. "i know it's hard, but you gotta realise-"

"no you don't know how it's hard!" she shouts at me, removing herself from my arms. "you don't know how it feels to not have seen your now dead grandfather for a year, not get to say goodbye, when you get there your entire family being disappointed at you of dropping out of med school, your mother hating you, and you getting the news two days late!" she screams, tears pouring down her cheeks. "what makes me so different to not know until after two days?"

"anya, honey, look at me." i drop our luggage, grabbing onto her arms, as she thrashes about. "anya!" i shout, as she stops almost immediately.

"i-i'm sorry." she whispers, softening in my grasp. i sigh, letting go of her, and letting her stand normally. "god i'm such a shit person, and girlfriend to you."

"no, don't say that, you can't help feeling like this hun." i say softly to her.

we walk inside the airport in silence, checking our bags in, and going through security, coming out to the vast array of gates, restaurants and shops.

i pull anya aside, going into a quiet room, sitting in one of the beanbags they have there. anya climbs into my lap, curling against my chest.

"can you sing for me, shawn?" she croaks out, looking up at me.

"of course." i begin to hun the chorus of a new song i'm working on, as anya immediately calms down, a look of relaxation drifting over her face. "better?" i whisper.

"much." she sighs, shutting her eyes briefly, before opening them. "i'm so lucky to have you in my life. never leave me alone."

"you'll never be alone." i sing quietly, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear. "do you want to get some food?"

"no." she states. "i want to stay with you, right here, right now, and live in the present."

"i'm so sorry anya." i mumble, holding her close to me.

"why are you apologising?" she turns to me confused.

"because, you don't deserve any of this." i say. "you're such a perfect person, i honestly have no clue why people don't like you." i laugh to myself. "and because of me, most of my fans hate you too."

"that doesn't matter to me." she says softly. "i'm glad i have you, i don't know anyone who would have cancelled their career for a few days just to be with me. i'm sorry for making you cancel."

"all we say to each other is sorry, can we stop saying sorry?" she laughs sadly at me.

"yeah, we should really stop saying sorry." she looks down. "okay, we should get some food actually. we won't get any till we get to the hamptons."

"did you live there?" i ask quietly, standing up after her.

"yeah, i moved to the city for college." she nods at me, smiling slightly. "it'll be good to get back there i guess, i can see the rest of my family."
-
at around 5pm, we arrive in the hamptons, in front of a large, very large, mansion of sorts, cars scattered around the driveway. we collect our suitcases, walking up the gravelled pathway to the tall grey door.

"are you ready?" i mumble to anya, as she takes a breath, nodding. she raises her hand, ringing the doorbell.

"oh, anya." a woman, middle age, cries, enveloping her into a hug.

"aunt claire, oh my gosh, i'm so sorry i couldn't come earlier- and grandad- it's oh-" anya begins, hugging her aunt back.

"not to worry, he's not suffering anymore sweetie." they smile sympathetically at one another.

"oh, aunt claire, this is shawn, my boyfriend." she introduces us two.

"hi i'm shawn, i'm so sorry for your loss." i hold out my hand, as she takes it, pulling me in for a hug.

"we don't shake hands in this family." she says to me. "and thank you." she shrugs, letting go of me and turning to anya. "grandmas in her room with your mom, and dad, and uncle max. the rest of the family are around the house, and the kids are in the games room." anya nods.

"is there a spare room where shawn and i can stay? we didn't exactly plan for a hotel." anya says quickly.

"your old room is still the same here, grandad and grandma didn't want to change it." anya smiles sadly, linking her hand with mine as we walk in, going up the marble staircase directly in front of the door.

we walk up them, entering a room on the far side of the left corridor. anya opens up a white door, revealing a large room, perfect for her and her personality.

we dump our bags in there, rushing down the stairs to greet her entire family.

"mom." anya says softly, catching the retched woman of guard. i clench my jaw, holding onto anya's hand tighter.

"oh honey." she replies, tears filling her eyes. anya lets go of my hand, going to hug her mother. "i-i'm so sorry i didn't contact you earlier, it's just we had to get all the paperwork signed and-"

"no mom, it's fine." anya says, letting go of her. "how's grandma?"

"she's stable." her mother answers. "hello again shawn."

"hi mrs steinburg, i'm so sorry for your loss." i say.

"don't worry shawn." she smiles at me. "i'm sorry for the way i treated you last time we met, i would really like to start over."

"i'd like that too." i smile softly at her.

"you can call me ashley." she says, turning around and walking away, making anya smile, rolling her eyes.

"come on, i need to greet my aunts, uncles and cousins." she pulls me to the kitchen, seeing two men, and four women standing around a counter, preparing a meal, most likely dinner.

"oh my, anya is that you? you've grown so much! and daniel- my my havent you changed!" a woman says.

"aunt cathy!" anya says, hugging her. "and no, that isn't daniel, everyone, this is shawn."

i wave at them, smiling sadly and saying hi.

"shawn this is my aunt cathy, uncle joe, uncle pete, aunt josie, aunt violet and aunt kate."

"anya! anya! anya!" a toddler comes running into the kitchen, crashing into anya's legs.

"hey tommy!" she picks him up, spinning him around and planting kisses on his chubby cheeks. "how are you, my little superhero?"

"oh my god, you're shawn mendes!" a teenage girl, around the age of 13 squeals, making me laugh and turn around.

"sophie, don't creep the guy out." someone says, who i recognise as aunt josie says, wrapping an arm around the girls waist.

"hi there." i wave, holding my arm out for a hug. "how are you?"

"shook." she laughs. "i didn't think anya would bring you here too." i laugh with her.

"i'm sorry for your loss by the way." i say to the group forming around us. "i came to support anya and you guys as her family."

"marry him already anya." an old woman says softly, walking into the room.

"grandma." anya croaks, rushing forward to the woman, and hugging her frame. "oh grandma, i'm so sorry i couldn't make it- i just can't believe grandpas gone."

"he's not suffering anymore sweetie." they let go, wiping away tears, anya sniffling.

"grandma, i'll stay as long as you want me to- i promise." anya says softly, sniffling again. "hey shawn, come over here." anya waves me over.

"i am so deeply sorry for your loss." i apologise to her grandma as soon as i reach her. "anya told me on the flight how much of a rock he was to the family."

"you really are a gentleman, coming with our dear anya all the way here, she told me on the phone about your career." she says weakly. "treat her special, she's my little girl."

"i will ma'am." i smile to her. "if you need anything while we are here, i'm happy to help." she nods.

"why don't you kids go to the longer where most people are." we nod, walking to the lounge area, where people our age, and older, and younger, are mixing, a light chatter in the air.

anya introduces me to all of them, before we join her cousins, who at say in a circle around a dining table to the far right side of the room.

"wait, my dad." anya sighs, as we get up, walking around the house to find anya's father.

"hi dad." anya says softly, walking into an office.

"anya, dear." he stands up, hugging her. "you made it."

"yeah, we did." she steps to the side, letting me walk in. "this is shawn, shawn, this is my dad."

"pleasure to meet you mr steinburg, and i'm so sorry for your loss." i say, as her dad shakes my hand.

"hi shawn, thank you for taking care of my babygirl." he smiles gratefully at me. "i'm so sorry to cut this short, but i really need to talk to the lawyers about further things to do with the death, and funerals too, i'll see you later."

anya and i walk out, but instead of going down to where the rest of her family are, she drags me into her room, attacking me with her lips, and shutting the door behind her.

"what was that for?" i laugh quietly, as she blushes red and looks down.

"to make sure you know that you're mine." i look at her in confusion. "my slutty cousins were giving you looks."

i laugh slightly. "i know i'm yours, and you're mine."

"good." she says softly. "shawn you look ill."

"i'm fine." i reassure her. "just a little tired, i guess i got used to london times."

"you can stay in here and sleep you know." she offers, cupping to my cheek and rubbing it with her thumb.

"no it's fine." i say back to her.

"how about we go on a drive then? i know it's freezing, but i like the beach at this time because it's empty." she says to me, holding onto my hands and playing with them.

"yeah, do you have a car?" she nods.

"i have the same car as you." she blushes, looking down. "that's why i love your car so much."

"we are goals." i smile at her, as she guides me out to the garage, where an exact model of my car is parked, ready to drive.
-
that night, when anya's fast asleep, i get a text from a number that i've never seen before.

567-8744-1773
hey shawn it's amber! where have you been? i was hoping to see you when i landed in london. i miss you baby :(

shawn
i'm not your baby, go away amber

i sigh, sliding my phone away, but then seeing many of my friends snap chatting me. i open up twitter by accident, and my god, i made a mistake.

someone took a picture of amber and i kissing, back when anya and i were on a break, and posted it all over social media.