chapter thirty six
fake
[anya rose steinburg]
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the next morning i wake up early. i check my phone, seeing it 5am, and i'm far from sleeping again. sighing, i rise from my bed, and i stumble into the bathroom, doing my morning routine before getting dressed into a pair of jeans and a crop top. i grab my phone, sliding some shoes on, writing chris a note that i've gone for breakfast, and heading out of the hotel room.

"hey anya, come sit with us!" i hear brian yell behind me. turning around, i curse, seeing shawn sitting there.

"i'll pass, but thanks brian!" i say back to him. i plate my dish up with fruit, and fill up a mug of coffee, before finding a seat somewhere away from shawn and brian.

my phone begins to ring, and i sigh, answering it.

"hello?" i ask, not bothering to look at the caller id.

"hi anya, are you there safe?" my moms voice says through the phone.

"oh hi mom, and yeah i'm here safe, thanks." i say.

"okay onto another story, i put medicine as one of your online classes on the form." i stop suddenly, putting my coffee back down.

"you did what?" i shout quietly. "i hate medicine! you can't do that! it's my life!"

"anya rose do not use that tone on your mother, you got broken up with from an engagement to richness, you need to work in a job that pays you now." i roll my eyes.

"okay i get it, i made a mistake." i say sadly. "but you do not control my life, i am not doing medicine."

i hang up sharply, sighing, and rubbing my temples with the tips of my fingers. brian sends me a concerned glance and i wave it off, finishing my breakfast. i rise sharply, rushing to the exit, but i bash into someone, causing their coffee to spill all over me.

"shit-" i look up to see shawn. "okay i'm not sorry never mind."

"fuck you, go die in hell." i nudge his shoulder, storming off and rushing back to my hotel room.

i strip of my current top, finding another shirt that i could wear, sliding that over my head, and putting the old top in a bag to be washed.

chris still isn't up yet, so i venture back down to the lobby. a boy and girl catch my eye, and i physically stop, feeling my heart break in two. amber and shawn, sharing a kiss. he looks at her like he used to at me, smiling softly at her, holding her body close to his.

i scream in frustration in my head, turning back around and walking to the bar, ordering a shot of vodka.

"isn't it a bit early miss?" the bar tender laughs.

"i need this shot, i'm on press with my ex." he hands it to me, and i swallow it down, the liquid burning the back of y throat. "hit me again."

"you sure are a crazy drinker to be drinking this early." he tops up my shot glass, before i bring it to my lips, chugging it down.

"one more and that should do it." i repeat the process, feeling more relaxed, and some pain melting away immediately.

"heartbreak?" he asks me, as i chuckle, nodding.

"i guess i caused it." i shrug.

"wait aren't you that girl who was dating shawn mendes?" i nod, slurping on the martini he handed me.

"i caused it all, basically." i laugh sadly, looking down. "i regret so much."

"don't let him get you into a funk, it's his fault for not listening to a beautiful girl like you." he smirks at me. "i'm sebastian."

"anya." i shake his hand. "but i'm not ready to move on, i'm sorry."

"i get it, but i'm here as a friend." i smile softly at him. "do you come here often? to la?"

"no, not really, apart from when shawns on tour. i'm now on his team." he nods at me. "well i'm gonna head back to where my team is, i'm supposed to meet them right about now." i laugh, looking at my watch. "tonight? i'll come back over."

"i'll be here." he smiles at me. "wait let me get you a water, stay hydrated, you had a lot of alcohol." he hands me a bottle of iced water, and i thank him, smiling and taking the drink thankfully. i rush back to the lobby, taking my things with me, meeting up with chris and sadly, shawn.

"you were up early." she says to me, laughing. "i also smell the alcohol on you."

"yeah i woke up at 5, couldn't sleep." i shrug, folding my arms. "i may have had a few shots or so."

"you're too young to drink in america." shawn comments bored.

"well when you see your ex kissing some slag you would want to drink too." i mutter, making him roll his eyes.

"she's there for me when i need her." he shrugs. "i'm sure you've got plenty of those." my nostrils flare, and i storm over to him, folding my arms.

"you know what, shawn? you are such a fucking dick, i can't even believe i fell for you in the first place-"

"you? you can't believe it? how the fuck do i fall for a fucking cheating, pathetic excuse for a girlfriend? you are undoubtedly the worst girlfriend anyone could ever have and i hope you fucking rot-"

"do you even hear yourself speak? how fucking dare you say those things to me? how dare you even-"

"well i'm saying them now! that's what i think!"

"what the hell you guys?" andrew moans. "shawn, anya, contain your anger!"

"it's your fault for cheating!" shawn shouts, clawing at whoever pulled him up.

"i didn't mean it!" i shout back. "do you think i would be as much of a mess if i meant it?" he looks softly at me, frowning slightly. "i'm sorry i did it, but i stopped it immediately."

"whatever." he mumbles, before amber goes over, inspecting his face.
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"thank you so much shawn, we will see you soon." the interviewer says to him, as he smiles brightly, waving at the camera. he stands up after the camera is cut, walking over to brian, amber and i. he smiles at brian, and presses a kiss on ambers cheek. i grimace, looming away, rolling my eyes.

i scoff, walking away, checking the time. 6pm. who knew that shawns press could take so long? sighing, i open up the door, revealing the back door to head outside where our taxis are. i walk out, seeing shawns fans waiting there. they all wave at me, and i smile softly, leaning against the taxi, waiting for everyone.

"anya!" the fans shout. "come here!" i turn around and walk over to the line.

"i'm sorry about you and shawn." a guy says to me.

"it's okay, and i love your makeup by the way." he smiles at me, laughing.

"how are you coping? with shawn and amber?" a girl asks me, giving me a hug.

"just have to take it like another day." i shrug. "you guys do know i didn't mean to do it right? i called him up straight after, and i still feel so guilty."

"we know, don't worry, and he'll forgive you at some stage." a blonde says to me, trying to cheer me up.

"alright guys, i see geoff, i'm gonna go, but nice talking to you all!" i give a few more hugs, walking away and joining geoff next to the car.

"i'm sorry about my meltdown in the hotel, it must've been so embarrassing." i say to him, looking down.

"it's okay, everyone would've done it, if i were you i would've killed him." i chuckle sadly, looking down.

"does he really hate me? be honest geoff." i croak out. "i know and understand i messed up bad, but i feel so horrid about it."

"he does on a scale." geoff says to me carefully. "but he's so blinded by everything, i don't think he's actually processed his effects yet either. you may have cheated, but he's the one who overreacted, and didn't let you speak."

"i know." i say quietly. "i miss him."

"do you love him?" i nod my head at him.

"i love him so much." i mumble. "i didn't mean to punch him and slap him, but you don't even understand how annoyed i was." i take a shaky breath. "but when i came down and saw him kissing amber, i freaked. i took shots to numb the pain and i guess i was so absorbed with fear that he's moved on that i had to hurt him too, punching was the quickest way."

"get in the car, he's coming." i nod, climbing into the back seats, sliding to the other side. brian comes in next to me, and next to him is shawn.

"hey." brian says to me, sitting in his seat.

"hi." i say back, looking out of the window.

my earrings start to hurt my ears, so i decide to take them out after a while. i take off the backings, removing the actual earring and holding them in my hands. the car jolts and they fly to the other side of the back, near shawns seat.

"fuck!" i mumble, sighing. "shawn could you pass me my earrings please?"

"your loss you lost them." he shrugs at me.

"shawn could you please pass me my earrings?" they have sentimental value, they were my great grandmas.

"no." he says.

"shawn give the girl her earrings." geoff says from the front.

"alright." he leans down, picking them up, and opening the window. he brings his hand to the open air and throws them out, shutting the window behind them. i gape my mouth open, tears burning my eyes.

"oh suck it up, you can go to topshop and buy another pair, see look, there's a topshop here." he points at a store we pass.

"you dick!" i shout. "those were my great grandmas!" tears slide down my cheeks. "that was the only thing i had left of her!"

"well done shawn." brian scoffs, slapping his head.

"oh i'm so sorry- i didn't know-"

"you don't know anything shawn, just leave me alone." i fold my arms, looking out of the window next to me, sighing in sadness and feeling my lip quiver.

we arrive at the hotel, and i jump out of the car, rushing up to my room before anyone can say a word to me. i flop onto my bed, curling up and sobbing, tears staining my pillow.

sunlight of the early evening streams through my window, making my eyes burn even more than they are. i groan, stepping up to shut the balcony curtains, and getting back into my foetal position.

"i wasn't telling the truth you know." i mumble when i hear chris enter the room. "last night, before dinner, when i told you i hated him." she sits next to me. "now it's changed. he knew the sentimental value of those, i've told him about a thousand times."

"i'm so sorry, he's a dick." she says to me, pushing my hair behind my ears.

"i'm gonna go for a swim. i need to think." i decide, standing up and walking to my suitcase to get a bikini. i walk into the bathroom, changing into it and putting a towel over my body, before exiting the hotel room and heading up to the hotel pool.

empty. perfect.

i place my towel on a lounger, tying my hair into a bun, and slowly getting into the chilling yet warming waters, shivering at the first silky touch.

i swim lengths, wasting the night away, but my mind being cleared and relaxed completely.

at around 10pm, i get out, walking to my towel, seeing a box on it. i scrunch my face up in confusion, looking around, before opening it, seeing my great grandmas earrings with a note in it.

room 9825
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it's brian's room calm yo tits