chapter sixteen
fake
[shawn peter raul mendes]
-
"happy thanksgiving anya." i mumble to my empty hotel room, waking up in the morning from the constant noise of busy new york city. my eyes flutter open slowly, dried tears making them painful to open.

i turn over, grabbing my phone and checking the time.

11:34am.

i missed breakfast, so i might as well go to find a starbucks. sighing, i rise, putting on a shirt and jeans, doing my morning routine, grabbing my wallet, coat and phone, and heading out of the hotel room to the starbucks on the street.

i enter it, the fresh smell of brewed coffee hitting my nose, the coffee shop empty for turkey day.

"hi, how may i help you?" the girl asks me at the till.

"could i have a green tea please?" i get out, my voice hoarse.

"sure, it's on the house. happy thanksgiving." she warmly smiles at me.

"happy thanksgiving to you, but i'm canadian." i let out a sad laugh, grabbing my tea and walking out of the shop, sipping on the beverage.

it's getting cold in new york, and i can't help to think how cute anya would look, all wrapped up in layers, her olive skin coated with a warm blush, her hands red from the cold, so i could hold them and warm them up.

i miss her.

"shawn, where were you this morning?" geoff asks, as soon as i enter the hotel.

"i-i was asleep." i mumble, looking down.

"hey look, there are fans outside." i turn around, my eyes brightening at seeing them.

"i'll be a few minutes okay?" geoff nods and watches me go outside, a smile being painted on my face almost immediately.

"hey guys." i wave. "do you wanna take some pictures?"

"no." they all shout. "we wanna have a time to talk to you, you look like you need it." i smile wider, chuckling slightly.

"okay well how about we all take a group one for snapchat and then we can talk." the five of them nod their heads, and we pose for a photo, putting it on my snapchat story.

"what happened to you and anya?" one brunette asks me.

"um i'd rather not talk about that, i'm sorry. but guys please don't go blaming her, she's already got enough hurt in her life okay?"

i answer their questions for another ten minutes, before saying bye to them and walking back into the hotel.

sadly and solemnly, i walk to my room, taking my phone out and checking over anya's social media.

she's already getting hate.
-
"andrew i need to film a video for announcements." i announce, walking into the restaurant early evening.

"what for?" he asks me, as i sit down at the table.

"anya's getting hate over our 'break up'" i sigh. "it obviously is a break up, she hasn't bothered to contact me."

"okay well what do you want to do?" i shrug.

"i'll do some snapchats, but tell news reporters that i'm about to release something that they might be interested in." i explain. "i don't want her to get hate, you know? i mean there's obviously something wrong with me if she doesn't want me there."

"shawn don't say that." they all shake their heads. "talk to her."

"i can't." i mumble, standing up and walking back to my room.

i'm not hungry today. i get inside, taking my phone out of my pocket, and opening snapchat, beginning to video my message.

"hey guys look i just wanted to make a few things clear today." i post that, before starting a new one. "there's stuff going on between anya and i, i have to be honest with you." i pause, taking a breath. "it's not that i didn't play a part in it, so don't go and blame anya on anything." i stop, wiping my eyes. "please just don't give her hate, and leave it for us to sort out." taking another shaky breath, i start up again. "thank you so much guys, and i hope you understand. i love you all so much."

as soon as i post that, i get a call. from anya.

"h-hello?" i stutter, answering the phone.

"shawn are we breaking up?" she croaks, choking at the end.

"i-i don't k-know." i sniffle, sitting down on the bed.

"i don't wanna break u-up with you." she says, making my heart break.

"maybe it's for the best." i manage to get out.

"no i don't want to." she snaps, as i hear shuffling.

"neither do i." i sigh, running a hand through my hair.

"come over." she says, her voice slightly going louder. "i know i said that i didn't want you there, but no one came out, and i didn't mean anything."

"you hurt me anya." i mumble. "i don't think i can come over."

"do you still love me shawn?" she croaks. i nod, but realise she can't see me.

"yeah." i whisper.

"so come over." i finally sigh, dropping my shoulders.

"i'll be there in half an hour."

"do you want turkey day food?" i shrug.

"sure."
-
taking a breath of air, i knock on her apartment door, shaking my hands like crazy.

she opens it, standing in a flowing burgundy dress, black tights and her eyes red and blotchy. i guess my eyes look the same from the look on her face.

"hi shawn." she whispers. "come on in." i smile softly at her, walking in and shoving my hands in my pockets.

"hey shawn." kelsey says, as i smile at her.

"hey kelsey, how are you?" i reply, hugging her.

"great, happy thanksgiving."

"you too." i say. "where should i put my coat and shoes?"

"normal place." she says, walking into the kitchen.

the sweet smell of cranberry's and roasted meat fills my nostrils as i quickly slip off my shoes and jacket, hanging up the coat and putting my shoes under the cloak hanger.

"come and eat first, oh kelsey's brother is here too." anya says to me. "adam, this is shawn, shawn this is adam."

"hey dude." he waves.

"hey man. happy turkey day."

"thanks you too."

anya sits on the counter, dangling her feet and looking down at the floor. i frown, walking next to her, and placing my hand on her arm.

"you wanna talk now?" she nods at me, jumping off and guiding me to her room. she opens the door, and shuts it behind me.

"i'm sorry." she mumbles, sitting on the bed.

"is there something wrong with me? is it so wrong that you wouldn't want me to be here?" i whisper harshly.

"no." she looks down again, folding her legs.

"so what made you not want me to be there?" she sighs deeply, looking up at me, tears pooling in her eyes again.

"i-i don't know." she shakily says. "i guess i wanted to just reunite with my friends, without my boyfriend so i could spend more time with them."

"anya." i sigh. "why didn't you tell me when we were planning this?" i say, sitting down next to her.

"i didn't want to be mean, i mean me and kelsey didn't mind you being there, it's only we'd prefer you not to." she breathes, wiping her eyes. "god i'm such a bad girlfriend."

"no you aren't." i whisper, placing my hand on hers that's resting on her thigh. "you're such an amazing girlfriend, and i understand if i take you for granted sometimes."

"no i took you for granted." she cries, sniffling. "maybe we should take a break shawn."

"i was gonna say the same." i mumble back. "christmas still at mine?" she smiles lightly.

"of course." she nods. "three weeks, i'll be in toronto on the 17th of december."

"okay." i nod at her, as she looks up at me. "hun don't cry."

"i'm-i'm sorry." she murmurs, crying.

"anya it breaks my heart seeing you cry." i rub her back, as her cries turn into hiccups. "i'm heading to pickering tomorrow."

"w-will you keep me updated on your break?" i nod.

"of course." i peck her cheek. "three weeks baby, we need it."

"shawn i love you." she blushes.

"i love you so much more." i press a kiss on her cheek, standing up and walking out of her room.

"hey um kelsey, i'm so sorry but i'm gonna go." i say. "thank you though, the food looked amazing."

"take some leftovers with you, please?" i nod, as she prepares a dinner inside two takeout boxes. anya comes out, sniffling and wiping her eyes, sitting at the table quietly, her hands on her lap, and tears still sliding down her cheeks.

my heart sinks as she looks up, sending me a look of pure sadness.

"okay i'm gonna go, happy thanksgiving you guys." i wave, walking towards the apartment door.

"shawn wait!" i hear anya, i turn around, seeing her running up to me. i pick her up, holding her close to my chest, as she wraps her legs around my waist, hugging me. "don't go, please don't go."

"anya three weeks." i say softly.

"shawn don't leave me." she whimpers. "i'll stop talking to all boys, i won't go on the phone to kelsey, i'll be the best girlfriend ever."

"darling listen to me." i mumble, putting her down and holding her waist in my hands. "we need this, everything's been going too fast, and simply we can't keep on going like this, fighting over the littlest of things and these people getting involved in our business."

"b-but shawn." she stutters, her upper
lip shaking like crazy. "i don't want to take a break."

"neither do i, but it's for the best." i rub her arms, trying to calm her down.

"take me with you." she begs. "please."

"this is your time to rest. you don't need to come to the jingle bell balls and you can relax from all this drama. after three weeks we'll be back together, and stronger than ever okay? get back to college, do some work." she nods, looking down.

"can i have a kiss?" she asks quietly. i nod, cupping her cheek and capturing her lips with mine.

i never get tired of kissing her.