chapter seventy-two
fake
[anya rose steinburg]
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the bus slowly comes to a stop, parking in front of the airport, where people are sluggishly walking about in the early hours of the morning. andrew and shawn both fell asleep, so i'm on duty to wake them up. i shake andrew awake, and he quickly wakes up, standing up and getting things together.

"hey shawn," i gently nudge shawns shoulder, as his eyes flutter open. "come on, we're here."

andrew comes back, with geoff and brian trailing behind him. shawn reaches for his trainers, but yawns again, stumbling back into his seat. wow, he's exhausted. sighing, i crouch down to his feet.

"i got it," i whisper, helping him put his shoes on, and then lacing them up after.

"thank you." he yawns, slowly standing up and grabbing his backpack.

after the group finished gathering their things together and waking up, we make our way out of the bus and into the airport. while shawn, brian, shawns parents, aaliyah and geoff make their way to checking in, i walk up to one of the main desks, where they can sell plane tickets.

"hello, how may i help you?" the attendant asks me, sending me a warm smile.

"hey, do you have any flights to the hamptons?" i ask, leaning against the desk.

"lets see," she begins to type away on her computer. "we have a couple seats in business class available for a flight at 5am." she tells me. "since no one seems to want them, i can give them to you for one hundred dollars."

"that would be great, do you mind waiting for a couple of seconds so i can get my bag? i came with a crew and it's in our tour bus." i explain.

"chill out, i've got it." christina comes into view, handing me my bag, and my large suitcase with her. i smile softly, thanking her, before getting out my wallet and passport.

"do you take card?" i ask the attendant, getting out my debit card. she nods, handing me a chip and pin machine, before i slide my card in, entering my pin, and paying for the ticket.

"just show your passport with the ticket at the check in desk for virgin airways." she says to me. "there should be someone there now." she hands me my ticket, and a receipt, while i quietly thank her, putting my wallet away into my bag.

"chris, thank you so much." i say, taking my suitcase from her.

"i knew you weren't gonna get on a train." she laughs, as i roll my eyes, chuckling with her. "when i'm in the city, lets meet up."

"yeah, we should." i say, hugging her quickly. "see you soon."

"see you," she says. "you can come stay with me."

"that would be great, bye chris." i say, dragging my suitcase off to the check in desk, where i quickly check in my suitcase.

"anya." i hear someone say from behind me. turning around, i see shawn standing there, just his backpack in hand, and his guitars and suitcase all checked in. "you're coming through to the gates?"

"i managed to get a flight for 5am." i say softly, walking away from the check in desk, shawn walking next to me.

"i'm sorry," he whispers. "i know i shouldn't have been that abrupt with you, and i'm sorry for that." we stop in our tracks, as i face shawn, smiling sadly.

"hey, it made sense to me." i say. "but you know that i'm always a call away."

"i know, i know, it's just harder now." he mumbles.

"come on, lets go through security." i move my hand to his upper arm, pushing him gently to the direction of security.

we get checked through, and shawn gets pulled back for a guitar capo, which i can see he's getting annoyed at.

"it's a guitar capo! don't you recognise me? shawn mendes? the guy who always plays guitar?" he bursts, throwing his hands up in the air. i hold in a chuckle, smirking at him. "i can't kill someone with a capo!"

"we're gonna have to confiscate this." the guard says, taking the capo and putting it in a box under the main desk. "goodbye whoever you say you are." shawn drops his shoulders, sighing and walking back to me, who can't keep a straight face.

"what?" shawn asks carefully, smiling confused at me. "why are you smiling?"

"you of all people got stopped at by security." i giggle, a smile coming upon my lips. shawn smirks at me, looking down and letting out a small chuckle. "shawn mendes got stopped by security." i tease, making him send me a playful glare, laughing softly after.

i frown slightly, realising this could be one of the last moments shawn and i spend together, laughing and having a humorous time. the pieces all seem to fit, just like he did with lauren, he had to find closure with me, and this trip probably was the closure we both needed in a way.

our laughs slowly fades away, and i fold my arms against my chest, while shawn looks down at his shoes, sighing.

"i have to go to my gate." he mumbles, shuffling. "my flights boarding in twenty minutes."

"already?" i croak quietly, sighing.

"yeah," he sighs again, looking at me. "i guess this is goodbye then."

"no, it's see you soon." i urge, trying to make it true, but i, myself know and understand that it's far from the truth.

"see you soon." shawn whispers back. maybe he thinks it's true?

"these past four days have been amazing, shawn." i tell him. "thank you for making them so great."

"you did that on your own." he mumbles to me, reaching out his hand, and cupping my cheek gently. "i'm so fucking sorry."

"stop apologising." i mutter, a small smile toying on my lips, as shawn rubs his thumb gently against my cheek. "if i had a dollar every time you tried to apologise, i'd be rich." shawn laughs quietly at my joke, smiling sadly at me. it's only then i notice the tears pooling in his eyes.

"i'm gonna miss you so much," he murmurs. "so much."

"let me come to your gate, i mean, it's not like i have anywhere to go for the next couple hours." i suggest, as he nods, letting go of my cheek, and finding my hand, holding it in his.

we walk quite quickly to the gate he's boarding at, spotting the rest of the group talking to the attendants at the desk to the gate. the flight is only for the six of them as it is a private plane, so they have the entire space for themselves.

shawn lets go of my hand, turning to me again, sighing softly. "why is saying goodbye so hard?"

"i don't know, shawn." i respond, shrugging. "i really don't."

"when will i see you again?" he croaks quietly, a tear sliding down his cheek. i reach up, wiping it away with my thumb, and wrapping my other arm around his neck, moving closer to the side of his face.

"soon, shawn." i whisper, pecking his cheek gently. "i promise."

he sighs again, wrapping his arms around my waist, burying his head in my neck, crying softly. i sigh, bringing my hands to his back, rubbing it comfortingly, waiting for him to stop crying.

"shh, shawn." i whisper, pecking his cheek again. "shh."

after a few minutes, he pulls his head away from my neck, wiping his eyes, and sighing once again. "god i don't feel okay."

"hey, it's fine," i mumble back. "i'm holding it in myself." i admit, biting my lower lip. "we ended it for valid reasons, shawn. i'm not annoyed at you for that."

"it's like you read my mind." he mumbles.

"we're boarding!" geoff calls, wanting to break the moment between shawn and i up.

i look at shawn, cupping both of his cheeks, standing on my tiptoes and pressing my lips to his forehead, leaving them to linger there for a few seconds. "i'll see you soon, okay? i promise."

"i've made so many mistakes over the past year." he croaks out. "i need you."

"shawn!" aaliyah calls, clearly annoyed at waiting.

"bye, shawn." i mumble, as he lets go of me, a look of pure hurt and sadness crossing his face.

he turns around, walking to the gate check in, not taking one look back at me, or not muttering a small farewell to me back. just like that, he leaves, the gate door shutting behind him, the two attendants closing the gate desk, and chattering softly to one another.
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the hamptons - airport
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what am i still doing in the hamptons when i know i should be chasing the one person who i love endlessly? the entire trip of me heading to his tour was to get him back, and i haven't succeeded one bit. what can i do with wasting time?

shawn clouds my mind. his laughs, his happiness, his sadness, his intelligence, his passion, his touch, his humour, his beauty, everything hypnotises me, and puts me in a state of confusion.

i look at my watch, seeing it's only just turned nine am, and the airport is only just getting busy. standing in front of the exit means only one thing - i'm waiting to get a taxi.

that can change easily though, i can easily turn back around and go through to check in, and buy a plane ticket to toronto pearson airport, and make my way to see shawn and make things right between us.

"miss? do you need any help?" a worker asks me, coming towards me, holding an ipad.

"hi, yes," i pause. ask for a taxi or a flight to toronto? biting my lip, and playing any possible situations that can come up, i open my mouth to answer, but the complete opposite to what i was prepping myself to say, comes tumbling out.

"when is your next flight to toronto?" i ask, letting out a shaky breath straight after.

"well, i can take you to a gate now, there's a flight leaving in half an hour, but there are some seats available. you won't have to check in, but the luggage will get to you late, you'll have to provide somewhere for the luggage to be dropped off." she explains. "there's no point of you waiting another twenty hours for a flight."

"and i won't have to go through security either? or customs?" she shakes her head, smiling softly at me.

"come to the gate, you won't need to pay for this ticket as it is so last minute, just supply somewhere the airport can deliver your bags to." she tells me.

"lets go then." the words fall out of my mouth, as immediately we set back into the airport, rushing around and hopping onto a car buggy to take us round the airport, faster than plain walking.

arriving at the gate, my suitcase is taken away from me, and i am pushed to the gate check in, where i get given a plane ticket. after showing my passport, i'm pushed into the gate, making my way into the plane, my heart pounding out of my chest.

who knew locations could change so quickly? more importantly, am i really doing the right thing?
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tysm for 300k on this book!!