chapter ninety
fake
[anya rose steinburg]
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tiredly, i wake up at about 4am due to time differences and simply being jet lagged. i turn over, seeing shawn bunched up on the other side of the bed, the duvet wrapped around his sleeping body. i stand up from the bed, walking to the bathroom where i start my morning routine, showering and brushing my teeth, before heading back into the main room to change.

shawn still lies fast asleep, still huddled up in the same spot, the duvets cuddling him warm. i venture into my suitcase, taking out some clothes for me to wear today. i quickly change into them, putting my hair in a towel to let it towel dry.

"anya?" shawn mumbles in his morning voice, moving around on the bed.

"hey." i breathe out, standing next to him side of the bed. "i'm gonna order some breakfast, yeah?"

"okay." he yawns. "we're going to rehearsals today, is that okay with you?"

"your first shows day after tomorrow right? tomorrow we're going to auckland?" i question, as he nods at me, standing up from the bed.

"i'm gonna go shower." he says, his voice raspy. "anya, can you order me a matcha tea latte?"

"of course." i smile sadly, as he walks into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. i sigh, walking to the hotel room phone, dialling up room service to order breakfast. "hi, could i get one matcha tea latte, one black coffee, two croissants, and a large fruit salad?" i say into the phone as soon as room service answer.

"that will be 18 dollars, how would you like to pay?" the receptionists perky voice tells me.

"charge it to andrew gertlers bill." i say.

"sure, you're food will be there in about ten minutes." i hang up, putting the hotel room phone back down, sighing softly. suddenly, i hear soft cries from the bathroom, and my heart cracks, quickly rushing towards the door.

"shawn," i say softly, knocking at the white painted wood. "can i come in?"

"y-yeah." he stutters, sniffling. i open up the door, revealing him standing in front of the sink, wiping his tears away, the shower running in the background.

"shawn..." i trail off, walking towards him and cupping his cheeks, wiping his eyes with the pads of my thumbs. "talk to me, what's wrong?" more tears slide down his cheeks, as i quickly wipe them away, shushing him.

"can i just hold you?" he whispers, as i nod, scanning his face with my eyes, concerned, as he sighs, snaking his arms around my waist, leaning his head on my shoulder, as i slip my hands over his upper back, rocking him gently. "i'm so sorry about last night- i'm not losing my feelings to you- i love you so much-" he quickly spits out, crying into my shoulder.

"shawn, i know we're young, but man, i really want to marry you." i say, making him chuckle through his tears. "but like we said the first time we got engaged, let's wait, yeah?"

"you're lucky i didn't propose a month after knowing you." he mumbles against my neck, referring to my grandparents and my parents.

"how did you find that story out?" i say, laughing and lifting his head from my neck.

"your mom, and your grandma." he chuckles. "i still can't believe your parents got married at 18 and had your brother at our age, after a month of knowing each other." i nod, agreeing with him.

"i couldn't believe it when they told me, but i guess when you really do love someone, it can happen." i sigh. "i can't believe this is gonna be one of our last moments together for four months."

"i'll call you everyday, heck i'll write to you everyday." he says, tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear. "i really need to shower, ill be out in a few minutes okay?"

"that's fine." i smile warmly at him, before he presses a kiss to my lips, before i walk out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. i lean against the wall, sighing softly.

whenever shawn and i fight, we both always seem to never really end it. right now, we're still technically fighting, but just feeling sympathetic for one another. that's our problem. we share empathy with one another, therefore making it harder for us to fully end a fight.

"room service!" a woman yells, knocking on our hotel room door. i quickly jump up from the wall, walking to the front door to answer the woman.

"good morning." i smile warmly, opening the door for her to push the cart in.

"morning, here's your food and don't hesitate to call if you need anything else." she says with a smile. "enjoy!" she walks out of the hotel room, shutting the door behind her, as shawn exits the bathroom, a towel slung around his waist, and a towel in his hand, rubbing at his wet curls of hair.

"looks great hunny." shawn comes over to me, pecking my cheek, and sitting opposite me in one of the dining chairs around the small table. "how about we go out for dinner tonight? after rehearsals?"

"sounds good." i shrug, sipping on my coffee.

"dress fancy, we'll go somewhere fancy." he reaches over, holding his hand in mine. "promise me we'll try not to fight anymore."

"i promise." i mumble, looking into his amber eyes. "i'm sorry for the way i've been acting recently."

"it's okay, it's completely understandable hunny." he squeezes my hand lightly, sending me a soft smile. he finishes up his breakfast, downing his drink soon after. "darling i packed a hoodie of mine in your suitcase, can you pass it to me please?"

"mhm." i nod, standing up and walking to my suitcase, hunting around, before finding his khaki crossfit hoodie, and handing it to him, now seeing him in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

"come here anya." shawn sighs, opening his arms. i don't hesitate to walk into them, wrapping my arms around his larger frame. "you're okay, we're okay, everything's gonna be okay."

it's crazy how one person can reassure you so quickly. when i'm with shawn, i calm down from anything. he understands me, he knows how to calm me down. shawn rubs my arms, hugging me back, pressing a kiss to my head, sighing softly.

"hey," shawn pulls me away from his chest, looking down at me. "it's all okay, i'm here." i nod at him, looking away, as he pecks my cheek gently, rubbing his thumb across my cheek. "should we go down to the lobby now?"

"yeah." i nod, pulling away from shawns touch. "thank you, shawn."

"no problem hunny." he smiles softly at me, linking our hands together, before the two of us leave the hotel room for the lobby, meeting the rest of the team there.

shawn squeezes my hand, leading me towards the door, where both of us slip outside to meet fans, jake close behind us. "babe, you can go back inside-" shawn begins.

"we wanna meet anya, not you!" a fan yells teasingly, making me chuckle softly.

"sorry hun, they spoke out." i say to him, a playful smirk on my lips.

"so i suppose i'll take the pictures for everyone then?" shawn plays along, with a chuckle."how does that sound, guys?" shawn asks to the twenty people waiting outside the hotel.

"perfect!" a boy yells, making everyone laugh.

"alright, i'll take them." i laugh, taking the first girls phone, as she walks over to shawn, hugging him and posing for a picture.

"thank you!" she cheers, as i hand her phone back to her, before she examines the photograph.

"-wow this is amazing!" shawn gasps, holding a large size canvas. "baby, look at this." he tells me, turning around the canvas, revealing a painting of one of the pictures of shawn and i from his instagram.

"you painted that?" i ask the fan, shocked at the picture. she nods, a faint blush running at her cheeks. "that's amazing!"

"thank you." she chuckles. "hey can we take a selfie instead, anya you can come in it then." shawn nods at her, taking her phone, and holding it up for a selfie, before he holds his arm out to me, capturing my waist in it, as the three of us smile for the picture. "thank you so much! hope your day goes well." she smiles warmly at the two of us, taking her phone from shawn and walking away.

the rest of the group decide they want me in the picture too, which shawn got really happy about, so we quickly finish up with the fans, before heading into the taxi to drive to the venue of rehearsals.

"anya, can you grab one of shawns guitars and take them in?" andrew asks me, lifting out a box from the trunk of the car.

"sure," i nod, taking out shawns telecaster out of the car, walking into the venue, shawn carrying two more of his guitars behind me.

"be careful with that, she's my baby." shawn says to me, as we enter the rehearsal space; an empty arena of which shawn is playing later during the trip. "anya, careful!" he exclaims, as i'm about to place it down, leaning on the barrier for the main stage.

"jesus shawn." i laugh at him, picking it up again.

"i'm serious, she's my baby." he states, no emotion on his face. "you know what, give it here, take my blonde taylor 410-e." shawn hands me another guitar case, and takes his fender custom shop relic telecaster away from my grasp, before we go through an open section of the barrier, and backstage through another door, so we're waiting at the wings of the stage.

"alright, everyone today's gonna need earplugs since it's an empty arena and we're all gonna be hanging around here." andrew explains, handing out small bags of bright orange earplugs to everyone but shawn and his band, who are getting their ear pieces fitted.

"anya, come here!" shawn yells from the centre stage. i look at andrew and he nods, letting me run onto the stage, joining my excited boyfriend. "just look at it." he says, in utter awe. i gaze around the arena, looking at all the empty seats which will soon be filled with people and flashlights just there for shawn. proud is an understatement for what i'm feeling.

"wow." i mumble, looking at him. "shawn, i'm so incredibly proud of you."

"thanks darling." he smiles softly at me, taking out his ear pieces for a brief second, before kissing me gently. "we're gonna have so much fun on tour here."

"as long as you don't start dating one of your guitars, i'll be fine." i say with a laugh, making shawn roll his eyes and chuckle at me. "no, i'm serious."

"okay, i get it, i over obsess over them." he blushes softly. "love you." he mumbles, kissing me once more.

"love you more."
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i've finally decided and i can now confirm that i 100% will be writing a sequel to this book.