chapter forty-three
fake
[shawn peter raul mendes]
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"wait, what? an interview about my relationship?" i say slightly louder. "with who?"

"capital, well it's like the presenters, well presenter, you've met him, it'll be fine." i look at anya, seeing she's looking straight at me.

"are you ready?" anya asks softly, as i sigh, shaking my head.

"not at all." i whisper. anya holds onto my hand, squeezing it. "i don't want anyone to judge me."

"we won't say everything, just the things they ask, okay?" she tells me, as i sigh again, nodding.

"i don't even want to do this." i mumble, running a hand through my hair. "i know you don't want to either."

"yeah i don't but what other choice do we- holy shit." anya curses, looking at the door that just opened.

"hi guys!" amber squeals, as i roll my eyes, looking back down at my lap.

"oh god." i mumble, as she sits next to me.

"oh shawn! it's been so long! how are you? why didn't you answer my calls?" she hugs me, but i remain still, holding anyas hand in mine, and my other hand on my lap.

"go away amber." i mumble, shuffling closer to anya. "i'm not interested in you."

"well you certainly were in la, what happened to the shawn who couldn't take his hands off me?" i see anya roll her eyes and i sigh.

"now now amber." i warn.

"no i'm not gonna! you use my body and then dump me!" she shouts.

"what?" anya spits from beside me, removing her hand from mine.

"anya i swear i didn't- amber stop saying things that aren't true!" i shout.

"shut up you three!" geoff shouts from the front, as anya sighs again, looking out of the window. i curse under my breath, taking an angry sigh. anya looks at me softly, taking my hands in hers again.

"i'm not mad." she whispers. "i trust you, and if you say you didn't, i believe you." i lean down, pressing a kiss on her forehead, throwing my arm over her shoulder. "if we don't want to keep falling out, i think we both need to learn how to trust each other."

"yeah i guess." i say to her. "okay i've decided i'm gonna say everything, i mean we need a fresh slate, and by clearing it up with the media we can start over."

"even the fact you're not well?" she asks quietly.

"i have to say something at some point." she squeezes my hands, sending me a sad smile, before looking out of the window again, the scenery rolling past us quickly.
-
"shawn mendes and anya steinburg everybody!" will mannings shouts, introducing anya and i. i sigh, taking a seat at the microphone, anya next to me. "well hi guys, we haven't seen you in london for ages."

"i know, it's been too long." i laugh nervously, as anya lets out a chuckle. "i'm surprised this isn't our normal location."

"luckily it's not a ball pit." he laughs, as i roll my eyes, remembering the london jingle bell ball. "so, you two are back together again!"

"yeah," anya laughs. "i feel like we break up and then keep getting back together."

"you're not tired of him yet." will says, making her laugh again.

"i'm surprised i'm not." i act offended, sending a playful glare to anya, laughing myself.

"so, what happened between you two again?" i sigh.

"you know i feel as though we move too fast and start coming up with assumptions without knowing the full story, and that's what pushes us apart and you know makes us hostile to each other at some times. when we were in la, she punched me, and i don't blame her, i was a dick, but the fact that we had such a hatred to each other is horrid, however we work through it every time, and i think we come out stronger and more used to the fact that look this is how it's going to be and it will forever be complicated, given our history and the way we were pushed together and people around us-" anya takes her headphones off, standing up and walking away. "what did i say?"

"um, lets cut this short, but thank you for explaining shawn-"

"no that wasn't the whole explanation." i sigh. "look i myself am going through a tough patch, and at the end of the day it's anya who brings me out of it. this patch is making me always annoyed and out of it, but anyas there to comfort me and also as my best friend wherever i go. she's my other half, she's my best friend." i sigh again. "and i want my fans to know that it was me who abused her trust first, going back to last october, it was all me." i look down. "it was also me who has been using her for the past few weeks and well i realised why i was doing it but it doesn't add as a reason for doing it."

"thank you for clearing that all up shawn, see you on friday for your actual radio segment." i bid him goodbye, getting up quickly and rushing about to find anya.

"chris do you know where anya is?" i ask her, approaching my team.

"toilets i think- what happened?" she asks confused, as i slump my shoulders stopping in my tracks.

"she walked out." i mumble. "now i'm sorry but i really have to find her." j rush into the bathrooms, not caring how they are the female ones, and i walk in, seeing one stall locked, and the other two empty.

"anya?" i call softly, leaning against the door.

"go away." she mumbles, sniffling.

"honey what's wrong?" i ask concerned, standing up straighter. "anya you're scaring me."

she unlocks the stall door, coming out and standing opposite me. "i couldn't sit there and go through everything." she mumbles. "i'm sorry i made you look bad."

"baby why didn't you tell me?" i pull her into my arms, rubbing her back.

"i didn't want to upset you because you were so confident about doing it when we were walking in here, and i guess i just panicked." she says softly to me. "i'm sorry shawn."

"don't even apologise to me." i mumble, bringing her lips to mine in a comforting manner. "i'm always here for you."

she wraps her arms around my torso, pulling me closer. "you did great explaining what i heard." she mumbles to my chest, as i sigh, rubbing her arms.

"it had to be said." i shrug, looking down at her. "now should we get out of here?" i chuckle softly, as she nods, going to wash her hands and dry them, following me out of the bathroom.

"now should we go have a date?" i put my hands in my pockets as she beams at me, nodding her head yes. "lets go to wagamama."

"is that the pan asian place we went to last time we were here?" i nod at her, kissing her once more.

"and then a stroll along southbank." i say in a british accent, making her laugh, and softly hitting my shoulder.

"god i love you." she says to me, getting into the car.

"trust me anya, i love you more." i sit next to her, as she sighs, leaning her head on my shoulder.

"alright, you have three free days now shawn." andrew says to me, making me sigh in happiness. "you have live lounge on our last day here though."

"that's fine with me." i smile softly, looking out of the window as we drive back to the hotel.
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"what?" anya shouts as soon as i enter our hotel room. "you mean you're marrying my cousin?"

"anya shhh." i whisper to her, laughing as she flips me off.

"how come you never told me you were seeing each other? what about that guy i walked in on?" she shouts, standing up from the bed. "but it shouldn't matter! you've been seeing each other for three years? i didn't even know you two spoke when we were living in the hamptons!"

"whatever, i don't care if you're older than me, but you're a dick." anya spits, hanging up the phone, sighing, sitting on the bed.

"kelsey and peter?" i ask shocked, sitting next to her.

"they didn't even tell me!" she groans. "how did i not know that my roommate and cousin were dating?"

"maybe they didn't want to tell anyone." i shrug, putting an arm over her shoulders.

"but still- i'm her best friend, do i not matter?"

"at least she's not pregnant." anya bites her lip, looking down.

"actually she is." i gape my mouth open, feeling shocked. "yeah i'm moving out."

"what's kelsey doing then?" i ask her.

"she's taking an online course for her last year, and peters now 26, so he's bought a house for their family now, so i'm gonna be a loner for like four years." she groans. "what a best friend i have."

"move in with me." i get out quickly. "i mean i'm thinking of buying a new place, and you're gonna be on online college for the rest of your education anyway- so you can do it in toronto." i suggest.

"shawn it takes a while to get an apartment." anya says softly.

"i'm shawn mendes, i can get one in the blink of an eye." she laughs softly, nudging me. "you are happy for them right?"

"of course i am, i'm just annoyed that no one told me." she sighs. "and okay, i'll move in with you."

"great, we'll start looking now." i beam widely, getting up to get my laptop. anya chuckles at me, rolling her eyes, taking my laptop from my hands.

"downtown toronto." i say, as she types a few words in. she clicks on a site and begins scrolling through it, looking at all the overpriced apartments.

"wait are we seriously moving in together?" anya pauses, letting it sink in for a bit. "can't we just keep my flag and you move to new york?"

"it's too busy." i grimace. "i love the city and your apartment it's just busy and come on you hate the city." i point out.

"that's true, lets keep to toronto."

after hours looking for an apartment, we give up and decide that we'd rather go see it for ourselves at some stage before my arena tour.

"you know what i just realised?" anya whispers, yawning.

"what?" i whisper back, tracing small patterns on her side.

"kelsey and peter have fucked." i chuckle, rolling my eyes at her as she laughs quietly. "can we go for a swim?"

"now?" i ask her shocked, as she nods. "it's like 2am."

"the pools open all night, come on shawn!" she begs, standing up from the bed and rushing about the room to find her bikini.

"but it's 2am!" i laugh, turning on my side so i'm facing her again.

"yeah it's like 9pm our time though!" she says, grabbing her black bikini. "please shawn?"

"fine, hold on let me get my stuff together." i give in, making her smile and start rushing about again. i laugh to myself, shaking my head before i grab my things together, change and follow anya out of the door and to the rooftop pool.

she beams at me, skipping backwards across the wet flooring. it all happens so quickly, her foot loosing contact with the floor and her body falling onto the ground, her head hitting the chair next to her.

"anya!" i gasp, rushing forward and sitting on my knees, pulling her head to my lap. "anya, baby, can you hear me?"

she grumbles lowly, closing her eyes and moaning.

"no honey keep your eyes open." i beg. "anya i think you got a concussion." i sigh, holding her body close to mine.

"keep your eyes open darling." i whisper, getting my phone to call geoff to get first aid. "geoff, call first aid to come to the pool." i say as soon as he answers.

"why are you at the pool? what happened?" i hear shuffling about, as i sigh again.

"anya wanted to swim- and-and she fell and hit her head and i think she's concussed." i stutter. "geoff hurry, please."

"just keep talking to her okay? tell her a story, i'll get first aid there." i nod, hanging up the phone and placing it on the towel on top of the lounger.

"hey anya, you know we're gonna be heading to japan soon." i say softly. "and you can drink as much green tea as you want." i sigh. "you'll be okay, don't worry." two women come through the door carrying a green bag with them, rushing up to anya and i.

"hey, i'm katie and this is anna and we're here to help, what's wrong?" they crouch down to anya, checking her body for any other trauma.

"she slipped and fell, bashing her head on that chair." i explain. "will she be okay?"

"lets get her sitting up." i nod, pulling her body up so her chest is resting against mine and you can see the back of her head.

"oh god, she's bleeding." i look down at the little trail of blood on the floor and gasp.

"okay hold on a second." katie reaches forward, touching anyas head and examining it for any serious damage. "no bad injuries." she mumbles. "it's definitely a concussion."

"oh god, will she be able to fly? we have a flight in five days." i ask, worried that she'll have to stay in london alone.

"possibly, if she makes a quick recovery." anna says. "don't worry, she will be fine, but we'll call an ambulance to have her checked out in the hospital. what's her name?"

"anya rose mendes- i mean steinburg." i mentally slap myself, groaning as she nods, going to call an ambulance possibly.

"okay they'll come and help her out in the next ten minutes, just sit tight and keep her eyes open." katie explains to me, as she packs her belongings into the green bag.

"you'll be okay, don't worry." i whisper softly into anya's ear. "i'm here, it's gonna be okay." i kiss her forehead, rubbing her arms. "stay awake hun."
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"she has a concussion, and will need to stay in hospital for a day or so, just for examination reasons." the doctor says to me, as i nod, sighing.

"we are supposed to go to japan in five days, will she be able to go there?" i ask, looking down at a sleeping anya on the hospital bed.

"i'm so sorry, mr mendes, but no. she won't be able to fly until the trauma has fully recovered. i expect it will be about two weeks."

"two weeks?" i get out, shocked. "i can't be there for her."

"i'm sure the hotel will treat her fine, mr mendes, they are known for their good service." the doctor says to me, as i sigh, running a hand through my hair. "she will be fine."

"thanks doctor." he smiles at me, exiting the room, leaving anya and i in private at 6am.

"baby, what did you do to yourself?" i whisper, brushing away her hair from her face. "i'm so sorry i won't be able to stay with you for two weeks hunny." i lean down, pressing a kiss on her cheek. "i love you, baby."

"jeez where are we?" anya mumbles, opening her eyes, and squinting from the bright light.

"we're at the hospital, you're okay, go back to sleep." i whisper, leaning forward and kissing her jawline.

"what happened shawn? i don't remember anything." she says. "why does my head hurt so bad?"

"you fell sweetie." i say softly. "you have a concussion."

"will i be able to fly with you?" i sigh, shaking my head at her.

"you're gonna have to stay here for two weeks, i'm so sorry." her face falls, and she looks to the other side. "but only for two weeks, and not in the hospital, in the hotel."

"still, shawn." she mumbles. "i'll miss you, and i won't get to see you perform in freaking japan and the philippines. and i'll miss you."

"i wish you could come with us but the doctors think it's not safe, gorgeous." she sighs, grumbling under her breath.

"fuck the doctors, who cares what they say?" she groans. "i wanna stay with you."

"i know you do, but please for your safety, stay here?" i ask her softly, as she shakes her head.

"i'm fine already, i'm gonna get on that stupid plane and come to asia with you." she states. "and you can look after me."

"anya please stay here." i whisper.

"it's like you don't even want me with you." she spits, removing her hand from mine.

"what? i do! but i care about your safety, anya." i remind her. "it's not safe for you to come with us, i'm sorry."

"just go away." she says to me. "i thought you of all people would actually understand where i'm coming from. the difference is, i'm in love with you and i don't wanna see me go anywhere without you, especially when you're on tour."

"you know i would change what they say, right? i want you there with me so bad, but i don't want there to be health risks for you. anya you could get a blood clot in your brain, i'm not letting you fly and that's final."

"i don't care! i want to be with you!" she shouts, wincing at the pain in her head.

"well i don't want you dead!" i shout back. "whatever, i'm going to get some breakfast." i stand up from the chair next to her, walking to the door. looking back at anya, who now has a completely different look on her face, i sigh, opening the door and walking out of her room.

she frustrates me so much.
-
"mr mendes, the tests are over and everything's sorted out, she's free to go back." the doctor tells me. "make sure she rests."

"thank you, sir." i say, walking into the room, seeing anya sitting on the bed, fully dressed in the clothes i brought with me. "are you ready? the taxis outside." i ask softly.

"mhm." she nods, standing up and carrying her bag.

"anya, give me your bag." i say quietly. she sighs, handing me her bag, as i put it over my shoulder, following anya out. i press my hand on her back, guiding her to sign out, where i sign out for her, before both of us walk outside to press, cameras and fans. "go in the car, quick." she nods, rushing in front of me, as she gets in the car first, me following her.

"shawn are the pregnancy rumours true?" a press interviewer asks me.

"what? no." i answer. "if we were expecting a baby we would confirm it, don't believe rumours."

"so she's not pregnant?" another asks, as i sigh.

"no, she's not." i get into the car quickly, slamming the door shut.

"shawn-" anya starts.

"don't even." i whisper, looking down at my hands.

"i'm sorry." she says softly to me. i feel her eyes on my side profile, as i sigh again. "i'll stay."

"i can't lose you." i mumble. "and the fact you were risking your fucking life whilst talking i just- i can't." she stays quiet, looking down at her fingers.

"are you mad at me?" she asks me softly.

"no." i reply. "not at all." i look at her, tilting her chin up. "i just want you to know how much i care about you."

"i'll stay here and be safe, i promise." she says to me. "i guess i can look at apartments too."

i smile sadly at her, putting my arm over her shoulders, pulling her closer to my chest. "i love you." i mumble, playing with her undone hair.

"i love you too." she replies, shutting her eyes. "shawn i really am sorry if i scared you."

"it's okay honey." i tell her. "i just want you to stay safe, you know?"

"i understand, if you were in my situation i would want you to be safe too." she whispers. "god shawn, i feel so bad."

"don't feel bad, you'll be fine." i remind her. "just remember that i care about you okay?" she nods, yawning again and shutting her eyes. "i love you so much, anya." i whisper softly, pressing a kiss onto her head.
-
arriving back to the hotel seemed tiring, after all i haven't slept in twenty four hours. anya lazily walks to our hotel room, and i follow close behind, making sure she doesn't fall again or become dizzy.

i unlock the door, letting anya in, and she goes straight to the bed, flopping down onto it.

"shawn could you pass me a painkiller or something?" i nod, going to her prescribed pills, and taking out the painkiller for her, along with a bottle of water from the hotel room.

"here honey." i say softly, handing her the bottle and pull. she takes it quickly, going back to lying down.

"i'm sorry i've ruined your three free days." anya mumbles, shutting her eyes. "you should still go to the studio tour."

"i'll get andrew to call up and rearrange for those tickets to be when we're back in london in june." i tell her. "i wanna stay with you as much as i can."

"lets look at apartments." she decides, sitting up on the bed. "and we are getting room service for lunch." i laugh softly. "but shawn, you sleep first, i'll look for apartments." i hand her my laptop, and she starts typing away, making me laugh again.
-
"you're up, finally." anya tells me, shoving the harsh light on my computer screen to my face. "i found the one."

"jesus christ anya." i laugh, sitting up and looking at the screen.

"okay it is 4 million- but i have a lot saved and it's beautiful shawn, beautiful." she says.

"we don't have a problem with costs, don't worry anya." i say to her, scrolling through the pictures.

"it's a five bedroom house though, with two on suites, a freaking balcony outside the master bedroom, a pool and it's beautiful okay?" she says quickly. "

"a house?" i ask her carefully. "anya we're not even 19 yet, a house? we don't need five rooms yet."

"i know, i know but it's the one, you get me?" she sighs. "come on shawn, i know you love it too."

"where is it? toronto right?" she nods.

"ajax, you'll be close to your family and friends, and still close to central toronto, shawn it's perfect." she urges.

"it is." i agree. "but what about links to your family?"

"it's like a two minute drive away from a station that has links to the hamptons." she says. "i can also drive there, so i'll bring my car up too."

"well we have to go look at it, after the wedding i promise. when is the offer due?" i ask her, as she smiles cheekily. "anya what did you do?"

"i called up and said we're interested so he's taken it off market for time being." she says, as i roll my eyes, chuckling.

"five bedrooms, oh god what are we gonna do?" i laugh, looking around.

"well at least we are prepared for kids, and i can make one my office, you can have your office, a music room, a main bedroom and a spare bedroom." i explain.

"or we share an office and have two spare rooms. that way i can spend way more time with you." she laughs softly at me, nudging me slightly. "actually you know what? lets visit it and make the offer then and there."

"really?" she asks hopefully.

"yes, it is beautiful." i agree, going through the pictures again. "plus it's not like we will have to pay mortgage. no offence, but you and i are both rich."

"exactly shawn!" she finally says. "wait you're sure right?"

"i'm positive honey."
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