chapter fifty-six
fake
[shawn peter raul mendes]
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i can't deny that i don't feel immensely heartbroken at everything anya has said over the past couple days, and back in the hamptons.

but at the same time, i feel like she had the right to say everything, and i'm more than thankful she is staying with me.

there wasn't any point of me buying a house, but i guess that most superstar 18 year olds should do, i mean justin bieber must've, right?

i look out of the window in front of her bed, as the sunlight gently streaks in, not too blindingly, just perfect, enough to see the cliché scenery of what you expect new york city to look like. anya still stays far asleep, away from my arms and wrapped in the blankets on one of the sides of the bed.

it's gotten to that point already, where she sleeps away from me.

my phone starts to obnoxiously buzz from the table next to me, and i sigh, answering the incoming phone call.

"hey andrew." i yawn, sitting up. "how are you?"

"morning shawn, and i'm good thanks." he says. "just a reminder, you have to be at island at 2pm, taxis will be coming over."

"i'm not at the hotel." i say.

"i know, geoff told me you left." andrew tells me. "it'll be coming to anyas apartment."

"oh." i say, looking down at a sleeping anya. "i'll tell her when she wakes up."

"and you two have that photoshoot tomorrow for billboard, remember that." he says. "and don't forget to practice those new songs you've been working on before tour starts."

"yeah, yeah, i know." i laugh softly. "okay, i'm gonna go andrew, see you at 2."

"oh you won't need to eat lunch, we're getting pizzas at the meeting."

"cool, okay bye." i hang up the phone, putting it back on the table and leaning down to anya, shaking her shoulder gently. "hey anya, wake up honey." she groans, turning over onto her stomach and waving away my hand. "come on baby, we have a meeting today."

"i don't wanna go." she groans again, mumbling against the pillow. "i wanna sleep."

"you've been sleeping for ages, come on anya." i chuckle, rolling my eyes. "i'll make you breakfast."

"hell no, i'll stay asleep." she says, turning around.

"i'm not that bad a cook." i laugh, as she lets out a soft chuckle.

"you really are, aaliyah had to chuck the pancakes that you made everyone away." she yawns, giggling and turning to face me. "how comes you didn't hold me last night?"

"i did, you left me." i tell her.

"oh." she says, looking up at me. "i'm sorry." she comes closer to me, nestling her head on my chest.

"hey don't be, it's fine." i whisper, playing with her hair. "we should really get up."

"but i don't want to get up." she pouts, saying it in a child's voice. i laugh, rubbing her arms softly.

"come on, there's gonna be pizza-" she gets up immediately, rushing to the bathroom.

"you had me at pizza." she yells, as i hear the tap running. i chuckle to myself, shaking my head and smiling.

"what if i made pizza then?" i yell back, making her scoff loudly.

"i still wouldn't say you're a good cook." she says, coming out and brushing her teeth. "no offence." she says again, with a mouthful of toothpaste.

"none taken." i laugh back, getting up and following her into the bathroom. "hey do you have a spare toothbrush?"

"i have your toothbrush, you know, the one you leave here." she chuckles, holding a blue toothbrush up. "well one of your toothbrushes."

"ha ha." i joke, taking it off of her and preparing my toothpaste, brushing my teeth.

"you got a little toothpaste on your nose." anya says, taking her finger and wiping it against my nose. "all better."

"we have a photoshoot tomorrow." i smirk, pulling her into my arms. "it's a basic one though, don't worry."

"i wasn't worrying in the first place." she shrugs, going into the kitchen. "what time?"

"at 11am i think." i sigh, picking up an apple. "for the whole day, because you know, it's a photoshoot."

"no shit." she laughs. "i can't wait till you start tour."

"neither can i, i miss the feeling of performing." i smile softly at her, as she begins to fry up some eggs and toast some bread. "it's your first tour with me."

"i'm kinda scared about timezones but whatever it won't be that bad, right?" she asks, turning the gas off.

"initially it will be, but once we are in europe it's only like a 1-2 hour time difference compared to what you get used to, or the same." she nods at me, getting two plates out. "the us and canada tour is easier though, it's just south america that might not be that easy, but i don't know, i've never been there before."

"okay, i suppose that makes me feel a little better at things." she hands me a plate of food, with a fork and knife, as she sits opposite me on the bar, her food in front of her.

"you're so cute in the mornings." i beam at her, as she blushes softly, chuckling to herself.

"you're cute too." she says, smiling at me. "okay, i'm gonna go and change, you can have a shower or something to freshen up, wait i think i have some of your clothes here, i'll check in my closet." she explains.

"i'll be right there, do you want me to wash up?" i suggest, taking our plates.

"please." she says, standing up and pressing a kiss to my cheek, before walking into her room. "the dish soap is in the under cupboard!" she yells back, shutting the door.

"i know!" i shout, getting the things out to start washing up the dishes and pans anya used to cook.

i rinse them all, placing them on the drying rack, before closing the tap and wiping my hands on a towel, and going into anyas room.

"it's your lucky day, i found a hoodie of yours, a top of yours and a pair of your jeans." she hands me clothes that are neatly folded. "now go shower if you want."

"thank you, baby." i kiss her briefly, taking the clothes to the bathroom and starting the shower up.

"oh shawn?" she calls, as i sigh, opening the door and heading into her room again.

"yeah?" i ask her, seeing her fully dressed.

"i love you." she smiles softly, as i chuckle, smiling back.

"i love you too." i respond, with a light chuckle. she smiles widely, going back to what she was writing.

i turn around, going back into her bathroom to shower.

i'm definitely quite mad that she said no to moving in with me overall. living with anya would be incredible.
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"ah food." anya moans, picking up a slice of pizza, most of us sharing a laugh at her. "see shawn, this is good food."

"oh shush." i joke, nudging her gently. "so, andrew, what's happening on tour?"

"in europe we're gonna have a tourbus, that means one bed each." he says, looking at anya and i, as we both shrug. "same rules apply, no fans in the bus, no sex, because there are other people wanting quietness."

"why are you directing everything at us?" anya moans.

"because we know you two." geoff jokes. "basically no sex guys."

"what about in the hotel?" i ask, as anya blushes red, hitting me lightly. "okay we'll keep it quiet."

"now we have that sorted out, food." andrew says. "we've got a catering team for the venues and stuff, don't worry about that, but we will still be storing food and we can cook on this new bus we have. so, supermarket shopping trips in every place we go to."

"shawns not cooking a thing, apart from packet stuff and microwave stuff." anya butts in.

"i'll take cooking classes from the catering team." i add.

"your cooking will still be shitty, no point." she teases, grabbing another slice of pizza.

"shut up." i mumble, as everyone laughs.

"okay cooking classes for shawn, and shawn not to properly cook stuff." andrew writes a few things in his notebook. "transitions, stage transitions."

"what we talked about." i tell andrew.

"yes exactly, and anya, i want you to join our stage crew." andrew says. "since i'm not paying you to be shawns girlfriend, you can join our stage team who help out with lighting, transitions, setting up the stage, following shawn about and things like that."

"i'm cool with that." she shrugs. "can we project baby pictures of shawn?"

"hell no." i butt in, making everyone laugh, and anya pout.

"but you were such a cute baby!" she moans, groaning at me. "i'll find a way to put some in, you know your mum showed me so many last time we were in toronto."

"i'm gonna get your mother to show me your baby pictures soon." i tease back, making her roll her eyes.

"no you won't." she warns.

"i will." i smirk back. "hey guys can we get like a sushi caterer on tour?"

"shawn i'm pretty sure the caterers we have know how to make sushi." chris says, chuckling lightly.

"alright then." i shrug. "is there anything else we need to talk about?"

"sleeping arrangements in the hotel." andrew says, turning for a fresh page in the notebook.

"i'm with shawn!" anya yells, putting her plate down.

"yes, we know that." andrew says, writing a few things down. "you two can go now."

"wait seriously, that was it?" i ask, shocked.

"well yeah, we've had meetings for tour throughout the past year." andrew explains. "you and anya can go."

"alright, see some of you tomorrow then, bye guys." anya and i stand up, walking out of the meeting room and waving goodbye.
-
currently, anya and i are lazing about in her apartment, watching whatever crap is on tv, but not really caring about that, just caring about the time we are spending together.

she looks up at me lazily, but still with a soft smile on her face. "we need to make dinner, you know."

"i know." i mumble. "what were you thinking of?"

"i don't know, does stir-fry and noodles sound good?" she stands up from my arms, strolling into the joint kitchen, opening her fridge and cabinets immediately.

"that sounds perfect." i smile at her, standing up and joining her in the kitchen. "do you need me to do anything?"

"can you cut up the vegetables and prepare the bean sprouts?" she hands me an array of vegetables, and i nod, going to the counter to cut, chop and prepare the vegetables.

"are you staying over tonight?" anya asks me, taking the vegetables and putting them into her wok, frying them.

"well i didn't bring my suitcase for no reason." we both share a laugh, anya shaking her head at me.

"good." she mumbles, putting the noodles and starting to cook them.

"you're not mad at me anymore, right?" i ask slowly, approaching her.

"no, not at all." she reassures. "you aren't mad at me, right?"

"of course not." i quickly say, as she breathes a sigh of relief, handing me my plate of dinner.

"i'm really sorry i pushed you into buying a house with me." she looks down at her plate, playing with her food. "and i'm not even ready to move, what's wrong with me?" i don't answer her until both of us have finished eating, and i'm guessing she got a little mad, but it's fine.

i pick up our plates, putting them in the sink, and turning around to see anya gone. sighing, i walk into her room, seeing her lying down on the bed, her back to the door. i walk around to her side, getting on the bed next to her and pulling her into my arms.

"there is nothing wrong with you." i whisper. "you aren't ready, and i can't stop you from not being ready, when you are, you know you can always call me and i'll help you move in." i hold her hands in mine, bringing them up to my lips and kissing them softly. "and don't worry about the costings, i've already payed for most of it, and it's not like i can't afford it."

"i know, i know." anya mumbles, turning to face me. "i can't help but feel bad."

"i'm not gonna force you into anything, you know that." i whisper, running my hand lightly to cup her cheek. "it's fine, honey, i promise."

"no it isn't, i know you're mad about it." she looks down, tears pooling in her eyes.

"i'm mad about the fact i can't live with you." i mumble. "do you know how amazing it would be to live with you? you're such an incredible person, i would love to live with you, at any given moment. this is why i love it when we have a hotel room together, or we're staying together somewhere." a faint pink riddles her cheekbones, and she smiles softly. "anya, i love you, so much."

she leans up, pressing her lips to mine, wrapping her legs with mine. "thank you." she mumbles, pulling away. "and i love you too." she scans my face lightly, almost contemplating something with herself, whilst looking at me.

"what is it?" i ask softly, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear.

"nothing, i mean, would it be so bad if i moved in with you?" she asks. "like look at us, we're being pleasant with each other for the first time in ages, and no ones bothering us, no one will bother us in toronto, so i guess i have nothing to be scared of."

"what are you saying, sweetheart?" i ask, confused, and rubbing the sides of her arms.

"i'll move in with you, and i promise this time i mean it." i break out into a huge smile, leaning down to kiss her again.

"are you sure hunny?" i ask, pulling away after a few seconds. "like i said i don't want to force you into anything-"

"i'm positive." she cuts me off, smiling softly at me. "i want to move in with you, and that's my last answer."

"good." i reply. "because now i can live with you, do you know how much fun we're gonna have together? it's gonna be insane living with you." she blushes softly, as i chuckle. "it's really gonna be amazing, i can't wait till we get back from europe."

"i need to pack though." she pouts, sighing. "i'll start when you have your interviews on wednesday, thursday and friday."

"well i can't wait for our photoshoot tomorrow, it's our first one as a couple." i beam, playing with the ends of her hair.

"i'm kind of nervous." she blushes. "i mean a camera in your face for hours? hell no."

"it isn't that bad, and i'll be right there with you, so don't worry." i reassure her, as she chuckles softly, nodding. "honestly it isn't that bad, the cameras for seventeen are pretty far away from you, well they give you privacy when doing the shoot, if that makes sense."

"sort of." she shrugs. "hold on." she stands from my embrace, walking to her smaller vinyl player in her room, putting a record on.

i smile, realising and recognising the opening chords to waiting on the world to change, as she slowly walks to the bed, getting back into my embrace.

"you love your vinyl players." i comment, noticing how she always has a record on in her apartment.

"it's just the sound they make, i don't know, music is so much more raw from vinyl, rather than mp3 and cd." she explains, shutting her eyes. "john mayer deserves to be blasted out of a vinyl, you really feel the emotion he comes out with."

"i'm so glad my girlfriend shares an obsession with john, like me." she laughs lightly at me, nudging me softly.

"you're so weird." she laughs, burying her head in my chest.

"oh, i know." i smirk, hugging her close to me.

lying in any atmosphere with anya is the best feeling in the world. we are the only two people there, and the fact it's like we are enclosed in a bubble, makes the entire feeling so much more bittersweet and peaceful. i could be like this with her forever, and i wouldn't complain.

"you know, you still owe me that dance to gravity." i mumble, as the three beat count to the song comes on.

"i did it for perfect instead." she chuckles, looking up.

"i know, it's just gravity is our favourite song." i blush softly at her, as she smiles, standing up and holding her hands out.

"well, come on then mendes." i smile at her, standing up from the bed myself, and linking her hands in mine, pulling her to the middle of her fairly large room.

my hands find their way to her waist, pulling her close to me, rubbing the bare skin between her jeans and top with the tips of my fingers.

she leans up, wrapping her arms around my neck, and leaning her head on the top of my chest and lower shoulder, sighing softly, swaying on the spot.

"what's up?" i ask softly, spinning her lightly, before bringing her back into my arms.

"nothing, i just love this." she sighs again, hugging me close to her. "don't leave me again shawn."

"i won't." i mumble to her. "we should go out for dessert or something."

"that's so random shawn." she chuckles, as we both sway to the gentle beat. "so random."

"what? i fancy waffles." i shrug, making her laugh again, shaking her head.

"okay we'll go get waffles." she chuckles, cupping one of my cheeks. "i fully love you, shawn."

"i love you too, gorgeous." i mumble back, smiling sadly, as she rubs my cheek gently with her thumb.

i have met an angel in person, she looks perfect.
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that casual ed reference though