chapter fifty-one
fake
[anya rose steinburg]
-
shawn and i end up falling asleep on my balcony. luckily, it was a warm and dry night, and shawn was wearing his hoodie that found its way around me, as well as him.

i'm pretty sure we overstretched it.

"woah how did we get here?" shawn asks, chuckling, taking the hoodie off him and onto my shoulders instead.

"you followed me." i shrug, laughing. "did you sleep okay?"

"you're balcony is pretty comfortable." he comments, making me laugh again.

"you remember what we talked about, right?" i ask, biting my lip. he nods, pressing his lips lazily against my forehead.

"i promise you, darling." he mumbles, making my forehead tingle. "and if i break that promise, it'll be when i don't have to act out that promise."

"what you're saying isn't making sense so i'm just gonna go with it because you're cute." i rub our noses together, a faint blush riding shawns cheeks. "do you want to help a few of us set up the marquee for the reception today?" i ask him, tracing patterns on his chest.

"okay." he shrugs, rubbing my arms. "come on, lets go back in."

"no, trash is in my room." i moan, clawing at his arm. he laughs, picking me up and walking into my room, shutting the balcony door behind us.

"can you two keep it down?" ambers annoying voice shouts on the other side of the makeshift curtain.

"shut up." i mumble, tucking my head into shawns neck.

shawn and i change quickly, and rush about my room, before ending up sitting on my bed again.

"hey, baby." shawn chuckles back, rubbing my back. "lets go brush our teeth and grab something to eat okay?"

"alright, but if amber makes one more sound i will go and slap her." i warn, moving away from him and entering my bathroom, beginning to brush my teeth and do my skincare routine.

"can you put that thing on my face again?" shawn asks, putting his toothbrush away.

"what thing?" i ask him, picking up my moisturiser and massaging it into my skin.

"that brush thing, the buzzing one." he says, pointing to my clairosonic.

"alright." i shrug, wetting his face and putting some cleanser on the brush to start applying to his face. he giggles as soon as the brush hits his face, and i swear my heart just skipped a beat. "stop laughing!" i chuckle, rubbing the brush in circular motions around his face.

"it tickles." he giggles again, as i turn off the brush, rinsing the soap from his face.

"is it soft enough for you?" i tease, moving my hands along his smooth face, well his now smooth face.

"very much." he beams cheekily, pulling me to his chest. "anya mendes," i gape my mouth open and freeze. "oh shit."

"shawn-" i pull away from our hug, looking at him. "shawn, w-what are you doing?"

"i'm sorry." he laughs sarcastically. "oh my god, look at your face."

"hey, it's okay." i whisper.

"no it isn't!" he says loudly, making me jump. "that's the second time i've messed it up in the past month, we didn't even get married in the first place."

"it's probably because we're here for a wedding, it's fine shawn, honestly." i lie, biting my lip.

"no it isn't, and you know that yourself." he runs a hand through his hair, leaning against the counter.

"i'm gonna go and see if anyone needs help with breakfast." i mumble, pushing myself away from him and speeding out of my room, heading downstairs. "mom, should i do anything?" i ask, reaching the kitchen and seeing my mom there.

"no, it's fine sweet pea, go sit with shawn or something." she smiles at me, i look down, sighing. "what happened?"

"he messed up my name." i mumble.

"why should that matter? it's just-" i cut her off quickly.

"no, he called me anya mendes, like it was natural." i shake my head, frowning. "he did it in london too."

"that doesn't matter, anya." my mom says softly. "he's in love with you, and you were engaged at one point."

"i know, i know, but it's just weird." i sigh. "especially after our conversation last night, well this morning." i mumble.

"you know what you can do? get some bread and milk, and some fruits. we need some for everyone." she rubs my arm sympathetically, handing me a 100 dollar bill.

"i'll be back soon, hey tell shawn i'm sorry?" i ask her, grabbing my shoes and putting them on.

"of course i will, oh by the way, nice bracelets, and that ring, wait how did you get them?" she asks me, holding my hand in hers.

"shawn got them for me." i blush, looking down. "he basically got all the jewellery i'm wearing for me."

i walk off, taking my car keys and heading to my car. "jasmine!" i shout, opening my car door and seeing her walking up to the house doors.

"anya, morning." she smiles, coming to greet me.

"come to the shops with me?" she nods, getting into the passenger side of my jeep, as i start it up, driving off to the direction of the shops, through the woodland around our house and a few others.

"so where's mendes then?" jasmine smirks at me, turning the radio down. "i saw you two asleep on the balcony this morning, i was so confused."

"we fell asleep there." i laugh, shaking my head. "and mendes is at home."

"why didn't he come with you? no offence, but i'm exhausted." i roll my eyes at her, sighing.

"shawns a bit uh well." i stutter, speeding up a little. "he called me anya mendes today, and it's not the first time. i mean, i walked away because he was annoyed about it, and i was confused, but i think i made the situation worse."

"oh anya you idiot." jasmine groans at me. "that's adorable though, he's so cute."

"yeah, well he's mine so." jasmine snorts as i chuckle, rolling my eyes and parking the car in a space outside the whole foods.

jasmine speeds ahead inside, while i sigh, taking a slower stroll into the shop, taking a cart and wandering through the aisles of food.

we finish the shopping quickly, and get back to the house in a fairly good time. walking into the house, i see shawn running down the stairs. he looks at me, sighing softly.

"where have you been?" he asks me, coming forward and grabbing the bags from my hands.

"just the shops, mom asked me to get a few things." i mumble, taking the bags back and walking into the kitchen, shawn following behind me.

"anya can we talk?" i bite the inside of my cheek, trying to stop myself from saying something stupid.

"what is there to talk about? we've said everything we need to." damn, my stupid mouth. yeah shawn, lets talk and i forgive you, people make mistakes.

"o-okay." he stutters, walking away from me, to the garden doors where the marquee lays, set up and ready for a gathering. it's great that we have a large garden, an acre of land, half covered by a marquee makes a perfect venue for a reception, and pre wedding party, which is tonight.

after mass discussion and debate, kelsey and peter decided not to have a bachelor night each, but combine them both into a celebration with whoever is at the house, or free tonight, but both of them will go to hotels to stay the night in, you know, for that entire tradition of the bride and groom not meeting.

"anya, can you help me with my hair for tonight?" kelsey asks me, holding a longchamp bag in her hands. i nod, following her upstairs to one of the spare rooms, where she sits on the vanity. "i have curling tongs and some other stuff in here."

"what do you want done?" i ask her, plugging in the curling want and brushing through her brown hair with my fingers.

"i'm thinking simple curls and something tied in the back." she shrugs, scrolling on her phone. "what's up with shawn? he went straight to the bar and grabbed a vodka, like straight up vodka."

"we're just informally fighting." i mumble, curling a section of her hair. "he called me anya mendes again."

"again?" she asks shocked.

"when i got a concussion in london he told the medics my surname was mendes." i explain. "does he want us to be engaged again?"

"probably, come on he was heartbroken when you broke it off." she says to me. "being engaged isn't that bad, plus you two bought a house together, you shouldn't be fighting this much."

"i know, i know." i finish up curling her hair, taking some hair diamonds out of her bag and placing them randomly amongst the curls.

"talk to him." kelsey says softly.

"whenever i try to, my mouth always says something stupid." i sigh, sitting on the bed. "what if one day i say something stupid and that's it? like i've been close to saying stupid things before."

"he's shawn, he's obsessed with you." kelsey points out. "come on, he's not gonna end your relationship because of something you say."

my phone buzzes and i sigh, taking it out of my pocket and reading the notification.

from poppy: 4:23pm
hurry back down, shawns talking about breaking up with you, he's drunk

"already?" i groan, turning my phone off and putting it back in my pocket. "how can he get drunk in one hour? i just can't comprehend what he does." i stand up, heading back down to the marquee, seeing shawn sitting on the floor, cross legged, and leaning against the makeshift bar, ranting to poppy, peter, jason and my aunt josie.

"oh look, there's the princess." shawn slurs, bringing whatever junk he's drinking to his lips.

"shawn you're drunk, shut up." i walk towards him, taking the glass out of his hands. "how much has he drunk?" i ask jason, as shawn begins to play with the back pocket of my jeans.

"i don't know, like 13 shots or something, a glass of vodka and now a beer." jason scratches the back of his head, as i sigh, looking back at shawn.

"why have you ruined this night for them?" i ask him, folding my arms. "you don't get drunk this early, especially since the wedding is tomorrow and you're gonna be complaining and bugging me about a hangover."

"you know, i give her good dick, and she doesn't even thank me for it." he tells peter, reaching back up for his drink. my eyes go wide, and i snatch the drink from his hands, holding onto it instead. "maybe i should give i don't know, amber dick instead, at least she thanked me when i did."

"jason, help me get him to my room?" i ask softly, as shawn sends me a glare.

"all i did was call you the wrong name, and you're taking everything out on me, you stuck up bitch." he spits, rolling his eyes.

"shut the fuck up, shawn." i warn, glaring at him myself. "you owe not only me an apology, but peter and kelsey for getting wasted on a night special to them, especially since we're supposed to be doing something for them." a look of realisation crosses his face, and for a moment i think he's sober again, but that's replaced by a weird frown soon after. "you forgot didn't you?" i chuckle sarcastically, leaning down and picking him up from the arm, jason helping me to guide him back inside.

"anya, stop being so pushy, and stop spinning the room." he groans, flopping onto my bed.

"jason, thanks you can go now." i smile gratefully at him, but that's soon wiped off my face when i turn back to shawn.

"well aren't you gonna stop the room from spinning?" shawn asks, grinning sheepishly.

"wipe that fucking smirk off your face, and the room isn't even moving, it's still." i fold my arms again, leaning on one foot. "if you didn't get drunk in the first place, and if you learnt how to deal with your problems, maybe the room wouldn't be spinning." i sigh again, running a hand through my straightened hair. "you knew you couldn't get drunk today, so why did you?" i shout.

"jeez, a little quieter would help." he winces, bringing his hand up to his ear. "can you get me some water?"

"get it yourself." i spit, putting my hands on my hips.

"what the hell did i do?" he asks, dazed and confused.

"shawn don't even." i stop him from even bothering to say something. "i'm so pissed at you, you don't even understand."

"maybe i should've just broken up with you when i had the chance." shawn mumbles, thinking i wouldn't hear.

"fuck you shawn." i mumble, speeding out of the room, into the garden instead of the marquee, and taking a seat on the rocking lazy chair at the end of the garden, that overlooks to the beach.

how could he even say that? i get how he's drunk and how i'm being obnoxious about things, but i don't even understand how his mind could actually say something like that.

"don't kill me." brooklyn comes into view and i roll my eyes. "i saw you speed off and i was confused why."

"well there should be no confusion, i'm fine." i lie, looking away from him.

"i'm sorry." he says softly. "i shouldn't have even fought back, and i'm sorry for trying to keep our friendship." he starts to walk off, and i sigh.

"you're forgiven." i tell him. he sends me a smile and walks off again, leaving me alone.

i'm not even gonna bother to fight, i'd rather be alone.

at around 6pm, considering the party starts at 7, i head back up to the house, entering my room, seeing shawn passed out on the bed already, snores erupting from his lips.

my eyes tear up immediately, as he reaches for a pillow, hugging it close to him.

i reach for the dress hanging over my door, and i strip from my current clothes, putting on the navy blue silk dress that shawn picked out for me a few months back. i straighten my hair again, touching up my current makeup and exiting my room, taking my phone and the written speech shawn and i were gonna say.

"oh, hi anya." amber smiles at me, as i'm about to leave my room.

"oh, amber, hey." i say softly. "aren't you coming down?"

"yeah i am, hey i saw shawn getting really drunk, is he okay?" i sigh at her, looking at my white painted nails.

"he's passed out on my bed." i mumble. "i'm beyond pissed at him."

"did he say something?" amber asks me, as i chuckle sarcastically.

"well, lets say he did." i look down, a tear falling from my eye.

"oh my god, don't cry anya." amber rubs my arm softly, smiling at me. "come on, lets go down to the party."
-
at around midnight, the night closes, and peter, along with brooklyn and two of his other friends, go off to a hotel to stay the night at. i wander up the marble staircase, strolling into my room again, seeing shawn occupying the entire bed. i groan mentally, but then i notice his v-neck button up is unbuttoned, revealing the top of his chest, and purple bruises. i gasp, moving closer, seeing the hickeys illuminated in the faint ambience.

amber.

that two faced, cunning idiot. i shake my head at shawn, my eyes trailing to his lips, seeing them reddened and slightly swollen, a smirk laying on his lips. he kissed back.

a scowl forms on my face and i realise why she left at around 10, saying she was tired. bullshit.

taking the comforter from the foot of the bed and a pillow, i rush downstairs and into the living room, setting up a makeshift bed for the night.

sleep doesn't find me.
-
lmao i had to put in drama, you think their life is gonna be cool and anya isn't gonna be problematic? hell no

can we also talk about divide on my god that album is amazing

also please don't blame shawn for the insane vip prices. yeah, don't get me wrong, they are expensive but shawn himself earns money out of touring, has to give a set amount of tax to the venue and considering he's doing arenas, it's gonna be way more, pay for his tour and all the other things that come with it (so like the food, buses, hotels, maintenance etc), and that money pays shawns team too, and it pays for the entire teams health insurance, especially shawns. don't even go and blame shawn in the slightest, it isn't his fault at all, he doesn't decide these prices, so don't start making assumptions. i know it may be one tweet you say, or something you say on a group chat, or a ig post, or a comment, and you may think that shawn won't see it, but one, it's shawn and he creeps on his fans, genuinely creeps on us, and those comments can hurt him. shawns one of those people who wants to keep everyone happy, and that vip money for his tour keeps everyone happy, so please, don't blame him. it's not his fault.

and also JOHNS NEW ALBUM IS OUT ON APRIL 14TH IM BUZZING