warning: mature themes
chapter eight
fake
[anya rose steinburg]
-
we all pile outside waiting for the limo to come and pick us up for the press evening. i'm dressed in a burgundy wine coloured bodycon dress, a leather jacket draped over me, and my hair down in curls. shawn had to match, he's in a burgundy shirt and black dress pants. guess who else is wearing burgandy? camila.

geoff invited camila with us, not the rest of her band, just her.

"hey anya." brian says from next to me.

"hey how are you?" i ask, folding my arms.

"good, but you aren't." he sighs. "shawn's a friend to her, don't worry okay?"

"i know it's just he hasn't spoken to me since she turned up, he didn't even introduce us." i say sadly, looking down and my black heels. "i really like him and i just- it's hard you know?"

"yeah i get you, don't worry." he squeezes my arm before going shawn and camila talking, again.

the limo pulls up, and i'm the last one in queue to get on. oh great, no space.

"oh shit." andrew curses. "we should've changed the size knowing that camila was coming."

"i'll get a taxi, it's fine." i fake smile, walking back to the side.

"are you sure anya? i can of you don't want to." geoff offers.

"no no, i'll meet you there, i'll just be two minutes behind you." i assure, as they shrug, closing the door.

shawn didn't even notice.
***
"alright that'll be 30 pounds 52 pence." the taxi driver says.

"do you take card?" he nods, handing me the machine to put my card in and enter my pin. i quickly do it, paying the 30 pounds, getting out and walking into the venue.

"hey anya where were you?" shawn says, handing me a glass of champagne.

"in a taxi." i shrug.

"why didn't you get the limo with us?" he asks sadly.

"there was no space for me." i answer simply, taking a sip of my drink.

"you could've sat on my lap." he offers. you could've noticed me.

"well i'm here now aren't i?" i say, getting annoyed quickly.

"baby are you okay?" he puts his hand on my arm, tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear with his free hand.

"i'm fine." i spit, removing his arm from mine and walking to where chris and brian are talking.

"shawns a dick." chris says to me as soon as i reach them. tears fill my eyes.

"he didn't even notice me." i squeak, sitting down at the table with them. "i might actually just go back to the hotel, i don't feel good."

"no you're staying here." brian says.

"oh look at that." shawn and camila start dancing, too close for my liking. chris holds her hand out to me, stopping me from leaving.

"just stay with us for the night." i shake my head.

"i-i need some air." i push past the table, opening the door and walking out into the chilly night, sitting on a step, folding my arms together.

people continue to come into the party, exiting the vehicles they came in, smartly dressed, holding hands with a date.

a couple walks across the road on the other side, hands joint and both of them laughing at each other, walking at a slow pace, enjoying their time together.

"are you shawn mendes' girlfriend?" a boy who i recognise as a beckham comes into view.

"yeah, i'm anya." i smile.

"brooklyn." he holds his hand out to shake, and i shake it, as he sits next to me, putting his beer bottle down. "so anya, care to enlighten me why you aren't with your boyfriend currently?"

"he's with another girl, camila." i sigh. "he's ignored me all day, and he didn't even notice that i had to take a separate car here."

"i'm sorry to hear that." he apologises. "you're beautiful, don't let him make you feel sad." i laugh nervously, rolling my eyes.

"i'm falling in love with him." i sniffle. "he makes me so happy, and so content and feel so special, like i'm the only girl in the world."

"that sucks." he says. "tell him."

"i can't though, we only got together today." he scrunches up his face in confusion. "we've been fake dating since. it's just we managed to start liking each other in three days and just came out with it." i shrug.

"i'd still tell him, love makes people do crazy things." i shake my head.

"i just want to go back to my hotel and sleep if i'm honest." i laugh nervously.

"go inside for a bit, tell your party you've gone, and then go." i nod.

"thanks brooklyn, hey if you're ever in new york, call me." i smile, taking out a piece of paper and pen, scribbling down my number and handing it to him.

"will do." he smirks, as i stand up and walk back inside. chris notices me and nods, and i shake my head back. she frowns and smiles sadly at me, as i walk to the exit, getting a car to drop me back to the hotel.

"honey why are you leaving?" shawn asks me, surprising me. because you're wit camila and i'm jealous because i'm falling in love with you.

"i'll see you when you get back to the hotel okay?" i mumble, as he holds onto my hands.

"i'm sorry if i've done anything baby." he sighs. i roll my eyes.

"yeah because you never do anything do you?" i remove my hands from his, getting into the car and slamming the door shut.

i arrive at the hotel, thanking and paying the driver, getting out and walking up to my hotel room. i slip off my heels, pouring myself a glass of water, chucking my jacket onto the couch, walking into my suite, taking my shoes and water with me. i place the water on the desk, taking a seat at the chair under it.

i rest my chin on my hands, sighing and looking at myself in the mirror. my eyes overflow with tears, crying every emotion i have in me.

how could he? he can't just forget about me, right? doesn't he realise what he did? why did i ever think of him as a good guy?

i take off my makeup, stripping of my dress and putting on a cropped hoodie and joggers, tying my hair up in a ponytail, and removing the nail polish on my fingernails, painting them a white instead of a wine.

i let them dry, before getting into my duvet, snuggling up to the cushions. i guess shawn won't be coming tonight right?
***
at around 1am, the door opens to the suite, and shuts, heavy footsteps walking up to my room. my heart jumps and i open my eyes, as a small, narrow ray of light it seen; the door opening.

"anya are you asleep?" shawn asks. i don't reply, and just hear him sigh. "i don't know what i did but anya, i'm so fucking sorry." he says, sitting next to me, seeing me awake. "oh so you are awake." he chuckles lowly. i look up. "i really am sorry i didn't notice you hun."

"it hurts shawn." i croak, my voice squeaky. "i never thought of you as one to do this."

"i know." shawn mumbles. "i'm such a dick."

"no you aren't." i whisper back. "you're just stupid."

"is it because of camila?" he asks me. j don't reply. "oh fuck i'm so sorry."

"you basically ignored me all day shawn. you didn't even introduce me to her, you danced with her tonight." i frown.

"i hadn't seen her for a while, i'm so so sorry baby." he gets off the bed, crouching on the floor so he's face to face with me. "i know you might not forgive me but i guess she did distract me from you."

"it's like i'm a stranger to you." i frown, sniffling.

"honey don't cry." he climbs into the bed, holding me close to him. he kisses my head softly.

"shawn i know this might be too early or whatever but i really need to tell you this." i whisper, taking a shaky breath. "i've only known you for a few days, but spending time with you and being your fake girlfriend, real girlfriend, whatever, i'm falling in love with you." he lets go of me and faces me.

"really?" he whispers. i nod, looking down.

"that's why i was so jealous, i hated the fact you were spending more time with. her than me. i didn't want you and her to-" he cuts me off with his lips, shutting me up and placing his hands on my waist.

i kiss back, flipping us over so i'm straddling him, sitting on his hips and cupping his cheeks, still kissing him.

he rests his hands on my waistband of my joggers, his hands warming the exposed skin between my jumper and waistband.

i pull away, rubbing my hand over his cheek, before pressing kisses on his neck, leading up to his jawline.

"anya..." he mumbles, sitting up, unbuttoning his shirt, slipping it off him.

i connect our lips again, wrapping my legs around his torso, french kissing him, our tongues fighting for dominance.

he fiddles with my jumper, sliding it over my head, and placing it softly onto the floor.

"are you sure baby?" he mumbles against my neck. i nod, lifting my head up a little so he can get to my sweet spot.

"i'm sure." i reply back, letting out a throaty moan. he turns us over, sliding off his dress pants, and my joggers, opening the duvet, enveloping us in the warmth.
***
we lay breathlessly, an afterglow of intimacy coating our sweaty bodies. shawn plays with my now undone hair, holding me to his chest, as my hands rest lowly on his hips, enjoying the peace and serenity of the scene.

shawn leans over, turning the lights off, wrapping his other arm around me, holding me tightly.

"i'm falling in love with you too." shawn finally softly says, kissing my sweaty forehead. "i didn't hurt you did i?"

"a little but it was fine." i whisper back, tracing patterns on his side.

"are you sure?" i nod, smiling to reassure him.

"you made it magical shawn." i whisper, pecking the corner of his lips.

"hun you bled." he says guiltily.

"most virgins do, it's fine." i reassure, shutting my eyes. "go to sleep baby."

"okay." he sighs. "goodnight babygirl."

"goodnight shawn."
***
the next morning shawn doesn't wake up till 11am. he stays asleep, huddled in the duvets, looking like an innocent baby, who doesn't have a care in the world.

knocking is heard on the door, as i look up, about to answer it. shawn pecks my cheek and walks in front of me so he answers instead.

"oh hey camila." he says awkwardly.

"shawn you ditched me at breakfast." she says, walking in.

"sorry mila, i was asleep." he says, leaning on the kitchen counter.

"it's okay, do you wanna grab lunch instead?"

"i have my pop up today, i can't sorry." he says, wandering around to make sure everything is packed up and ready.

"dinner?" i look at him, a saddened look on my face. if he forgets about our plans, i'm going back to new york.

"sorry, i made plans with anya already." i smile to myself, continuing to pack up my bag. "hey baby do you have my guitar picks?" shawn asks me.

"yeah, i have the yellow, green and the ones that are merch ones." i say, holding up the black box.

"okay, hey i'm gonna tell andrew that i'll need my electric taken with us." i nod as shawn pecks my lips quickly, passing camila and walking out of the door.

"i know your relationship is fake." camila sneers, sitting on the couch.

"it's far from fake." i smile. "you can check the bin to confirm that." i say, pointing at my open room door.

"he lost it to me you know." she lies.

"bullshit, he lost it to me. last night." i say, slinging my bag on my back. "don't tell a lie and expect me to believe it."

"you're too young for him."

"i'm his age."

"you aren't famous."

"so? it's not all about fame."

"you aren't pretty."

"do you think a guy who salsa dances on stage cares about me being pretty?" i sigh, picking at my nails. "look i know you find it hard to follow instructions but," i take shawns guitar in my hand, followed by his rucksack and phone. "i really need you to get out of here, shawn and i are gonna be leaving soon."

"well then." she says, standing up and storming out of the room. shawn comes in confused, looking at her.

"she was getting in my nerves." i shrug, as shawn chuckles, shaking his head. "she thought we were fake, i told her to check the bin, her face was priceless."

"oh my god anya." he laughs, throwing his arm over me. "this is why i like you."

"yeah i know i'm amazing." i laugh with him, as we go down to the hotel lobby, camila waiting there with her group, an annoyed look on her face.

"baby." shawn hums, holding my hand with his. "come get tea with me." i nod, as we disappear to the restaurant, getting two green teas in takeout mugs.

"shawn, anya, cars are here." geoff calls to us, as we nod, walking out and getting into the taxis.

"you two definitely fucked last night, you're all over each other today." brian points at shawns hand that is resting over my thigh, pretty high up too.

"oh my god brian shut up." i moan, hitting him over the head with my hand.

"i heard them, they did." geoff laughs, as shawn cringes, blushing red.

"shawn next time don't fuck her too hard so she screams the hotel down." he adds, making shawn clench his jaw and look down. i sigh, holding shawns hand in mine, and squeezing it, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"calm down baby." i whisper, leaning my hand onto his arm.

"sorry hun, it's just it's our life right?" he says loudly on purpose.

the rest of the journey is quiet, an occasional couch, sneeze, compliment on scenery is heard.

i couldn't help but notice how pissed off shawn looked throughout the drive.
-
the pop up was brilliant today, it's just i wish he did half an hour like they said, not twenty minutes, and less problematic fans and fans who actually knew the words to ruin and three empty words and mercy ok goodnight