"What happens when people open their hearts? They get better."

- Haruki Murakami

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February 14, 2018 

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I'm an awful friend, those thoughts were unwelcomed. 

I picked at my hangnail on my thumb. My lips puckered, my back leaned into the dark caramel leather cushioned chair. "Love is in the air" hung from the rafters, La Bella had couples in their assigned tables and booths. Cabernet Sauvignon colored my thin glass funnel, I started to spin the wine, and a thick see-through material coated where the fruity liquid touched. It was the wine's fingers. The fingers clung to the glass like a cat stretching its claws on the couch's leg. 

A friend would've gone home by now. A friend would've asked how her daughter was doing. A friend would've texted their friend to say, "Surprise, surprise. I have a no show." 

The first hour wasn't bad. I'd ordered stuffed mushrooms as my appetizer and a small salad with green apples and honey glazed pecans. I lost count on how many glasses of the Cabernet Sauvignon I had downed. Heat flooded on my cheeks and forehead. To offset my wine, I started to eat one breadstick . . . and then another, and another. The waitress probably had guessed what was happening. She'd silently refill my water, adding more ice to each visit, brought another bread basket, and in snail pace, took my dishes off my table.

One red rose was positioned in the middle of the two seated table. Two inches of water kept the flower alive, which by the looks of it, the soft petals had wrinkles on the edges. When I reached out, my fingers brushed on the delicate petal, before my index could touch, it fell on the table. Slow and methodical. I once adored roses -- the scent made me think of spring, the anticipation for sunshine and nature to come alive again. But now, I think of Daniel. And I hated what he has done to me.

He's not going to ruin this day for me. He probably was with his new girlfriend, sipping cheap beer and staying home - Nope. No more thoughts on him. We're not going there.

A candle burned a couple of inches from the plant. I brushed the petal off the table cloth, the rose's petal made a new home on the carpet. Red lush table cloth with pink and white plastic hearts decorated near the whole centerpiece. Everywhere screamed Valentine's Day. 

Maybe I did need a blind date, I thought, If only he would've shown up. Maybe he was already intimidated by me. 

I brought the rim to my lips. 

One more sip. No more wine after this glass. 

Ma should've kept her mouth shut. She made friends with anyone and everyone. An elderly lady standing in line to purchase groceries, Ma complimented her outfit and somehow they'd exchange numbers. Now Justice and Ma played Seven Card Rummy on Friday nights. She talked to everyone: on the bus, in the bank lobby, at the butcher shop, hair salon, anywhere. She promised her friend who knew their brother who had a single son that was interested in a blind date.

No more dates, I promised myself.

My phone buzzed.

Sugar:

Hi dear! How's the date going?

Read at 8:59 PM

I'm sorry, Sugar. 

I sighed.

Once the two hour mark hit, I forfeited and ordered my meal. My knife now placed face up, my entree was eaten. All that was left was the butter, seasoning, and steak bone. An empty chair kept me company. I needed this. The silence and yet busyness, the waitresses and waiters tended to the couples all around me. I observed a gentleman and lady exchange their meals, using their spoons to put their food on the other's plate. An older couple had their hands entwined on top of the table after eating their vanilla and chocolate ice cream.  

Alone in a crowded room. Alone in a crowded couples room. Single must've been written on my forehead. Even though I was pretty confident no one dared make eye contact with me. I knew someone watched me. Someone saw and pitied me. 

There's no one there. Everyone is making googly eyes at each other. 

At this point, my short necklace with one tiny diamond made my skin itchy. Or was it the wine? My fingers clasped the diamond stud and moved the charm up and down along the gold chain. The sound vibrated and created a soothing lullaby. Monica liked to play with my jewelry. I've had to share with her how delicate diamonds were: how valuable and how to maintain the quality. Although, diamonds were one of the strongest materials in the world. It needed care. It needed to be cherished. 

Like me.

I pushed away those thoughts. To top off the night, dessert had to be ordered. Got to go out with a bang after all. Plus I needed another ounce of food before I'd contemplate driving or getting an Uber. Second choice sounded correct. My car will be fine parked here until tomorrow morning. Pulling out my phone, I clicked the app open and got a driver ready in the next fifteen to twenty minutes. That was enough time.

My favorite waitress came over one more time, "Here's the dessert menu." 

I didn't look. I knew what I wanted. Before arriving, and in between getting ready, I researched what was on their menu from their website. Dessert was the first thing I decided. "Chocolate strawberries with one scoop of vanilla ice cream." 

"Good choice," she nodded. She kept her small rectangular menu. She looked over at my empty glass. 

I covered my hand over it. "No more wine for me." 

She smiled. It was a gentle one where she knew or could relate to what I was going through. "I'll be back to refill your water." 

Maybe I needed alone time. It hadn't been a bad night. Just. Different. Yeah, it was just different. 

Somehow my nice waitress had one small plate in her hand and a water pitcher. "Here you go. Enjoy your dessert!" 

She was a magician. Either she knew what I wanted before I said anything or someone must've accidentally ordered this or changed their mind. It was a win-win for me. Grabbing the last clean fork on my right, I got the plate lined up. The chocolate strawberries lined up in a diagonal, each of the strawberries were dripped in different chocolates: milk, dark, and white, and one was drizzled with more layers. The round ice cream scoop sat in the corner with a garnish and whipped cream nearby. 

I was ready. 

With one fork, I dove into the ice cream, brought it up to my lips and bit into the first strawberry. I moaned. 

"Oh, sorry," a voice came from across the table, "I think I arrived at a bad time." 

There was a man. A beautiful, gorgeous man. His dark brown eyes melted my stubborn heart. I'd never tell him to his face how breath-taking he was. Wait, why was he sitting at my table? The hardened chocolate melted against my lips and crunched underneath my teeth. It didn't help that the ice cream coated my throat. Quickly, I grabbed a napkin and wiped away the dessert from my lips. My raspberry lip-licious color lipstick smeared on the white napkin. 

He glanced behind him a couple of times. Then he tried to slip behind the chair's backing, his long, lean body was hard to hide. 

"No, no, go ahead and eat your dessert," he declared. His forehead had wrinkles. More like stress wrinkles. "I promise I wasn't here to disturb you. I just need a moment away from . . . " 

He saw something over his right shoulder. Something that lessened his tensed muscles. He let out a heavy sigh. "To hide. I needed a breather." 

"And you thought, let's go sit at someone else's table," I questioned. Taking a drink of my water, I waited for his reply. 

His gray cottoned stitched jacket and lighter gray undershirt accented his lean body. There were three buttons on his wrist that kept his suit jacket fitted. His smooth skin made me jealous. No blemishes. He was an angel. Again. I'd never tell him this. 

His brunette hair came down below his eyebrows. His hair kissed his eyelashes every time he blinked. He brought his hands up and waved at her. "I promise. It's not what it looks like. I really didn't mean to disturb you. You seem so welcoming and kind," he complimented. "Oh, no! Is your date coming back?"

His words are like honey.

Sweeter than my dessert. 

He looked around for another hiding place. "I can move soon."

It had to be the wine talking. I'd never outright say this. I'd keep my heart quiet. This small interaction inspired me to say, "No. You're good. You can stay."

He blinked. Unsure where to put his hands while he sat in front of me. "Okay." 

I ran out of water. Instead, I chewed on the ice. "You can stay if you tell me who or what you are hiding from?"

He unbuttoned his buttons on his wrist and the beginning of his forearm. His lips pressed together. His fingers folded over the jacket's material, showing his skin. He repeated the movements for his left hand, this time it was slower, my guess was his dominant hand was left. 

"I'm avoiding work," he replied, "More like, added on work." 

I pushed my plate toward the center of the table. "What do you mean?" 

My words sounded clear in my mind, but my lips were a little sloppy. Yep. Uber was a smart choice for tonight. 

The mysterious handsome guy leaned back into his chair. His left arm tried to lean on the chair's arm. He stayed on his side and I stayed on mine. He kept his legs crossed and never ventured into unknown territory or into my knee or near my high heels. Interesting. 

"A job opportunity has been given to me if I want to do it," he explained. "But I remembered how agonizing the process was -- how fake everyone would be -- but I hoped the responsibilities and outcome would be different. My previous co-workers are here too." He wiped his hand on his forehead, and then rubbed his face, his hand went all the way down to his lips. 

"Tonight has been bull marlarkey." He brought both of his hands together now. "It's like a bad case of a high school reunion: gaslighting, comparison, and self-esteem issues." 

I frowned. "Awful mixture."

"Yeah." He sighed. His elbow was the first appendage to touch the table. "I needed a breather."

"The restroom wasn't an option? -" 

"No. Definitely not." He shook his head. Again and again. "That's the water hole that some of my co-workers think it means it's an invitation." 

I blinked. "No." 

"Yes." He nodded. 

I laughed at how this beautiful man was nervous about this, how he didn't want any miscommunication between co-workers, and what type of work was he apart of? What work fueled this fierce competition and yet desire to not be alone? Wow. 

"If you were hoping for a different outcome, but have the same variables," I declared. The words came out better this time. "You know what my job's definition would says that is?" 

He leaned forward a fraction. "What?" 

"Insanity." 

Just like how I thought this time would be different here. Well. You're not alone, buddy.

I expected him to yell, to defend himself on why he thought this time would be different, maybe even a chuckle, but instead he had a smile. The kind where it started at the corner then spread all over. He beamed. 

"I never thought of it like that," he said. He laughed. I almost didn't see it. He held his hand up to his lips, his wrist covered the evidence but it was his eyes. Those eyes could make me tell him the truth. He captivated me. 

"Guess I'm a bit insane then," he continued. 

"Me too." I blurted out. 

His humor disappeared then his gaze turned softer. He pulled his chair closer to our table. He was apart of our sphere away from the outside world. He licked his lips. 

"Why are you all alone?" he whispered. Maybe the whisper was fear. Maybe he was trying to not bring up a bad memory or emotion. Maybe he didn't want to draw attention to the tension, but he did. He cut through the bull. 

I'll never see him again. 

"My blind date was a no show," I stated. "It was my Mom who set us up. She has so many connections -- I don't understand how she can be connected with all her friends as she is. I wanted to hope for a future. You know." 

My index finger twirled on the red lush table cloth. "There's this small flicker of hope that maybe he could be the one. The one to care and listen to how my job was and listen to my 'eureka' moments when our medical products are done or my statistics classes go well. To bring the trash cans around from the back where I hate to do in the dark after work lets out. To ride and pick up my daughter from school. To watching silly-love stories or action movies." 

"And maybe, just maybe, he was the one that I'd share and listen to him. I want him to share how his friends are doing, how his job is going well or bad, or how he adores and cares for Monica." I shook my head. 

"It was hope. But he wasn't the one." I didn't try to smile, my gaze stayed on the table cloth that I wound up in a knot. 

The quietness between us held weight. While other people's utensils clanged, off in the corner a lady proposed to her boyfriend, champagne bottles popped open: the world continued. One notification chimed with our surroundings, my Uber driver, Samuel Oaks, was about three minutes away. 

I looked up from my cell phone to see my beautiful stranger. 

"Thank you for spending time with me," I said. "Honestly, I think you're way better than whoever was supposed to be my blind date. Thank you for listening." 

He gulped. "Of course." 

I smiled. 

My screen lit up with a picture of me and Monica; she sat on my shoulders as I looked up at her. My mouth wide open. She had her hands through my hair. Rose-gold glitter Mickey mouse ears shined on top of her head. We got this quick photo at Disney World with Sugar's help, she took the picture, with one or two strangers on either side, but Cinderella's castle gleamed behind us. 

"Hi baby, how are you?" I asked through the phone. My shoulder and ear kept the phone in place while I fumbled with my hand bag. 

"Mommy!" Monica gushed, "I'm doing great. Mr. August and Sugar helped make Surprise Delights. We have enough for the whole week!" 

"Wow," I glanced over at the gentleman. His arms crossed a little in front of his belly. There was a pinch near his nose. He looked around as if he didn't want me to notice. 

No way. He wouldn't be . . . jealous? 

"Did you thank them for all the hard work?" 

"Yes, yes. Mr. August got to take home twelve delights. But he seemed a little sad leaving," Monica explained. 

He would be. He wanted to stay with Sugar as long as he could. That boy was whipped.

"Don't worry, dear, his week will brighten up," I promised. If I have anything to do with it, a nice little nudge for Sugar. "I'll see you soon. I'm heading out right now." 

"Okay. Love you, Mom!" 

I kissed through the phone and said, "Love you too." 

Keeping my phone in my hand, I glanced over at him. The man I didn't know his name. I wanted to keep it that way. . . or did I? 

Yes. I won't see him again. Although, I'd love to know more about him. His listening ear. His practically perfect smile which he wasn't showing at the moment. 

"Don't get jealous, dear." 

I swore. I couldn't help the word of endearment. His cheeks had a pink tone. That made my insides do flips. 

"It was my daughter. Now if you excuse me." I got up from the table. Not woozy. Pulling two hundred dollar bills from my hand bag, I tossed it on the table for my lovely waitress. She deserved it. She put up with me for two hours, well -- really, close to three hours. "I have an Uber waiting on me."

I started to walk past him. My heels made a soft thump sound on the carpet. His mouth was left a little gaping. I almost didn't see it, but this was the first time witnessing it. This must've been surprising to him. I stopped right beside him where he sat.

"See you around, beauty." I kissed him on the cheek. My hand gently wrapped around his shoulder. His warmth transferred to my hand.

It seemed like the right thing to do.

Yeah. The kiss was short and sweet like a sappy HallMark movie. I couldn't believe it. His face got redder. His chest moved up and down. 

Goodbye stranger. 

And before I could dwell too much on what I did, I walked out of the restaurant and into the car. I didn't know, a certain someone was running behind me. I didn't hear him. All I heard was the sound of my heartbeat in my chest. 

Lydia and Min-ho.

I've missed you. (And Sugar and August too!) 💕 

I've had this idea for awhile. I wanted to share a small / cute moment with them.

Maybe one day I'll write their love story.

We'll see. 🤗 

Thank you for reading, voting, commenting, and adding "Fake It" to your library! ✨ 

Happy Valentine's Day. ❤️ 

2/14/2023