CHAPTER ELEVEN.
the one with some confusion.
warnings: internalized homophobia
a/n: uh ok this chapter is REALLY short. kinda a filler but.

IT WAS A month since the fight, and Ashley was doing pretty good at avoiding the other losers. She spent most of her time at home, scared of running into anyone. Or at the old dance studio she used to go to. She always tended to go there when she was stressed.

But one loser wasn't able to leave her mind, and that happened to be Beverly Marsh.

Beverly Marsh- with her stupid fire like red hair, her stupid blue eyes, her stupid laugh, and her stupid personality. She was the type of girl that people wrote songs over.

And honestly, if Ashley knew how to write songs, or if she knew how to sing, she'd definitely write one about Beverly.

But something about the red haired girl confused Ashley Harp- and that was her feelings towards her.

When Ashley first met Beverly, she considered her a friend. Maybe it was at the quarry when feelings starts to develop- the small bit of jealousy in the pit of her stomach she ignored when Bev was talking to Bill after they cleaned her bathroom. Or the butterflies in her tummy that she felt when Beverly slid her hand in hers. Or the time they spent alone- Beverly showing Ash her piano, and Ash opening up to her.

She was, in a fourteen year old girls definition, falling for Beverly Marsh.

Though there was one more thing.

That was the fact that Beverly was a girl. She was pretending to be Eddie's girlfriend, why didn't she like it? Why didn't she wish she was his actual his actual girlfriend? Why did she wish she could be with Beverly- even if was just them pretending.

Her feelings were wrong. Dirty. Disgusting. This is why the school hated her. This is why everyone hated her.

And Beverly.

Would Bev hate her if she told her? What about the others?

And her dad.

Everyone will hate her.

No one would wanna be friends- or be caught near her-

Fuck.

These negative thoughts raced through Ashley's mind a mile a minute, the worries seemed like they were gonna consume her.

The dark haired girl sat in her living room, which was silent. Her Dad was at work, which left Ashley by herself, only her thoughts there to keep her company.

She needed to get out. That was for certain.

So, she stood up, before making her way upstairs to change, which she able to do quickly while also making a mental list of places to avoid.

1. The library (no doubt she'd run into Ben)
2. The arcade (Richie, surely.)
3. The pharmacy (any of them, but most likely Eddie.)
4. The quarry (any of em)
5. Anywhere near one of their houses.

Quite a few places to stay clear of, considering Derry was a small town. She could go riding around town though. A simple choice, but it would clear her mind.

She changed into an oversized white shirt, jeans, and jacket and was going to put her shoes on when the sound of knocking interrupted her.

What the hell?

"Hold on!" Ash shouted, slipping her shoes on quickly before running down stairs as the knocking got louder, "Hold on! Jesus fuck!"

She opened the front door and- fucking hell.

Bill Denbrough stood there, his bike next to him.

"What the fuck? Why are you here?" Ashley demanded to know, anger radiating off of her. Bill was the last loser she wanted to run into.

"Ah-Ash, it's Bev-" Bill stammered out, and Ashley raised an eyebrow.

"What about her?" She asked, lowering her voice. The name Beverly seemed to trigger a soft side of Ashley Harp.

"I-It. It took her." Bill answered.

No.

No, God fuck, no. Not Beverly. Anyone but Beverly.

It can't hurt Beverly. She wouldn't let It hurt Beverly. That thing wasn't gonna touch Beverly Marsh.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck. Okay. Fuck." Ashley cursed, "We need to get the others- we need to tell them."

"Already ahead of y-you. I called Eh-Eddie and Mike when I w-was at Beverly's. They're meeting us at the library, where w-we can grab Ben." Bill explained, "We need to g-go to he arcade and g-g-get Richie. Then Stan."

"Okay. Okay. Shit, let's go. It- It's not gonna touch Beverly." Ashley proclaimed, "I kill It if It dares."