Kie's POV:

My mom and I were alone in the hospital room and she sat on the bed next to me and asked, "How are you doing? Be honest"

"I feel awful... I didn't even know I was pregnant and I feel like I killed my baby"

"Honey, you didn't do anything wrong. These things happen and as much as it sucks, there was nothing you could've done to prevent it"

"I just hate that this was my one chance to be a mom and now it's gone" I broke down crying

My mom held me in her arms and said, "Honey, JJ might change his mind about wanting to be a dad. He loves you, he'd do anything for you and I'm pretty sure that includes giving you a baby"

"He's made it clear he doesn't want a baby and I was okay with it but now I just want a baby but only with him"

"You guys can talk about that later, right now you need to relax to let your body heal. This is traumatic for the body physically and mentally... Can you keep a secret?"

I nodded my head yes and my mom said, "Your dad doesn't know this but before I started dating him after high school, I went out with this guy named Josh. He was a senior and I was a sophomore. I was sixteen when I got pregnant and I didn't know. I had a miscarriage and I was devastated"

"You were pregnant before?"

"It was a very similar situation to yours. I was only around five weeks. Josh and I went out and hooked up a few times and I didn't know I was pregnant until I went to the hospital and was hold I was miscarrying.
Josh and I were already broken up by the time I lost the baby so I never told him. Your grandma and grandpa are the only ones who know"

"I'm sorry mom... "

"It's okay, I know it's a different situation but I know exactly how you're feeling" She said holding me as I cried

"I love you, honey and I'm here for you" She said rubbing my back

The boys were gone for about an hour and a half. They came back with food for me and my mom. We sat in the room and they made small talk. I stayed quiet and my mom informed the boys that we were going on a girls trip when I was better. She was looking at flights to take me somewhere and relax.

My dad and JJ were just happy they could have some guy time. There are times when I think they would rather live with each other than with their wives. I had to spend the night here so my parents left about an hour after we ate and I was alone with JJ.

"Kie, we gotta all about the elephant on the room"

"I know, but not in the hospital. I still meant what I said, I love you and you're all that I need to be happy"

"I love you" He said as we sat in the hospital room and watched movies

I fell asleep early but the nurses kept coming in to check on me. I was released from the hospital the next day and JJ and I had that conversation. It wasn't bad, I told him that obviously I wished this was a healthy pregnancy but it wasn't and it wasn't meant to be. I told him it would take some time to get over it but I'd be okay and I was still okay with not having kids.

He looked at me and said, "Do you promise me that you're okay with it just being the two of us? Or do you feel like something is missing?"

"I promise, I'm happy with it just being us"

"Okay" He said kissing me and I was telling the truth

JJ was my everything, my soulmate. As long as I have him, it's all that I need to be happy. Two weeks later, I was sitting on the beach with my mom in Hawaii. It was a much bigger trip than I thought we'd take, but it was beautiful here.

"So, how are you doing?" She asked

"I'm okay, I'm still sad about it but it's okay. I understand it wasn't my fault and I'm just glad there were no serious complications"

"Me too"

"Kiara, I love JJ you know that, but are you sure that you're going to be okay not having kids?"

"Yes, mom... I love JJ so much and I hated not being with him. I wouldn't want a kid that isn't his"

"Okay, I'm just making sure" She said smiling and lighting touching my shoulder

We spent four days hanging out on the beach, going out to dinner, whale watching, and just relaxing. It was so nice just getting to hang out with my mom. We talked about everything and nothing. It honestly was huge in helping me mentally recover from the miscarriage.

When we got back, it was really late. I had told JJ that I was just going to spend the night at my parents as my dad was picking me and my mom up. My dad had informed me that JJ was in my room because he didn't want to wait until tomorrow to see me. I went into my childhood bedroom and JJ was sleeping in my bed. I smiled at him asleep and I took a quick shower because I felt disgusting and then I crawled into bed with my husband.

He pulled me closer to him to make me the little spoon and he said, "I missed you"

"I miss you too"

He kissed me and he fell back asleep. The next couple of weeks things got back to normal and JJ and I were both busy with work. It had been almost two months since the miscarriage and our one-year anniversary was coming up. JJ was extremely busy with clients but we found time to take a week off of work and go spend our one year in Yucatan together.

We lived the dream there. We surfed the entire trip and practically lived on the beach. It was the best way to spend out one year together as husband and wife.

We were sitting on the beach as JJ said, "I can't believe we've already been married a whole year"

"Neither can I, it's gone by so fast"

"One down, forever to go" JJ said kissing me again

We were making out the beach when I broke the kiss and asked, "Can we go inside?"

JJ smirked and he asked, "Is my girl asking to bring this inside?"

"Or maybe I just want to go inside and go to sleep" I teased him

"You know what, that sounds like a great idea" He said getting up and helping me up

We held my hand as we walked back to the little beach house we were renting and when we got there. JJ acted like he was going to bed but kicking his shoes off and laying in bed.

"Oh, you're really going to bed?"

"Yeah, I'm tired" He said

"Okay, goodnight..." I said turning the light off

I took my swimsuit top off and I threw it at him in bed and he didn't move. I took my shorts off and did the same thing. He got up and said, "Suddenly, not tired"

"Thought so" I said kissing him

We had the best sex in the small room. JJ and I went back home two days later and things went on as normal. His vasectomy appointment was coming up in a few weeks and we were both excited. I hated his arm birth control and couldn't wait to get off of it.

JJ was nervous about the pain afterward but he was also excited so we could stop worrying about kids. The night before the procedure, he looked at me in bed and asked, "Kie, are you sure that you're okay with me doing this?"

"Yes, we agreed no kids. I'd never want to force you to have kids"

"Thank you, I love you"

"I love you too" I said kissing him goodnight