Chapter 35: La colère et l'amour (the anger and the love).

Warning: small spoiler for season 2 of shadow and bone

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"you guard against pain. you guard against joy. but when you allow yourself to be blindsided by love...two worlds make a universe. he's not my weakness. he's my universe." 

_ Sankta Neyar

Zaria worked as an entertainment performer, or more specifically, a dancer, both on the streets and during more professional events, to win money.

A lot of people traveled just to see her perform, though, they had never seen her face except those ravishing brown eyes that reminded them of champagne, an expensive one that only the Royal Family used to drink.

But Kaz saw a brown land, full of broken promises and secrets inside, left behind, unspoken of and unheard, only the saints and Jesper Fahey.

As soon as Wylan and Matthias reached she grabbed their hands and pulled them up, a strong grip, her hands trembled as blood was suddenly on Matthias's hands, "sorry.." she whispered brushing past the Fjerdan, helping Nina.

"Are you okay?" asked the heartrender in worry grabbing Zaria's hands, "I'm fine, Nina, really." she smiled softly at the green-eyed girl doing everything she can to hide the pain, "it hurts less than my face."

Moving past the girl after smiling at her, "Thank the Saints, you're alive!" gasped Jesper when Zaria and Wylan grabbed his shoulders and hauled him up, wrapping his arms around his best friend, nuzzling his face into her neck like they always did when they were still children.

Zaria smiled and patted his shoulder, her body ached terribly, she was in pain and she couldn't, for once, hug him back. And Jesper squeezing her until she couldn't breathe didn't help.

"Jes, I love you so much, but I can't breathe," she exclaimed chuckling softly, Jesper broke away apologizing, "it's okay!" she exclaimed chuckling at the boy before turning to look for the bastard of the barrel.

worry immediately rushed through her body, Kaz was nowhere to be seen, "Kaz?" she asked the sharpshooter with a frown, "Kaz is on the rope." replied Jesper.

Matthias and Wylan seized the rope to pull him up. she wanted to help but Matthias ordered not to, not when her hand is currently bleeding, "tell...Nina to fix it." he ordered turning back around.

Zaria not once moved, she needed to see Kaz okay, as soon as they dragged him out of the shaft, she sighed in relief, letting out a breath she didn't know she was holding.

He flopped onto his back, hair wet and gasping for air, his leg must be hurting him, and his chest went up and down rapidly- "where's Zaria?" oh the way he says her name, oh saints.

The fact that she is the first that came to his mind, she really is so lonely.

"I'm here." she replied peeking from behind Matthias, her hair damp and the prettiest inky color, her voice low and came into a whisper, so sweet, saints she wanted to jump for that tone.

Kaz exhaled and lolled his head to the side so he can look at her, her whole body was sparkling due to the rain making her skin look so soft and the prettiest brown color and her hair fell to the side as she tilted her head like black curtains.

And Kaz, he had no right to look this handsome during a heist, a deadly one, his hair now damp and messy just like she always loved, his lips parted, eyes tired but exquisite as he watched her up and down.

and Zaria, oh Zaria, saints she looked like a billion kruge no matter the things she just went through.

 she looked like a siren, eyes wet and sticking to the side of her head, champagne eyes weary yet sharp, the still wet parts of her clothes sticking to her body like a second skin.

She looked like a siren ready to lure sailors to their deaths in dangerous waters with her song, the bracelet wrapped around her ankle jiggled with each movement.

He looked up, studying her face, and with that he looked into her eyes and their souls met, dancing together.

He couldn't get her out of his mind the whole time, it was aggravating, and it pissed him off in every way but what pissed him off more was that she didn't listen to him.

she climbed with Inej.

"shouldn't you be with Inej? Where’s Inej?" he gasped turning away, "Where’s Nina?" Zaria frowned, did she say something? did she do something? she's the one who should be mad.

"Already on the embassy roof," replied Matthias, "Leave this rope and take the rest," Kaz said standing up and trying not to show any pain because of his leg, "Let’s move," he ordered.

Zaria was the first to move, making her way toward Nina and Inej, Matthias and Wylan tossed the incinerator rope into a grimy heap and grabbed two clean coils. 

Jesper followed Kaz to the lip of the roof where Inej had secured a tether that ran from the top of the prison to the embassy sector roof below. Someone had rigged up a sling for those without the Wraith’s particular gift for flouting gravity.

"Thank the Saints, Djel, and your Aunt Eva," Jesper said gratefully, and slid down the rope, followed by Zaria and then the others.

Nina and Inej were tucked up against the base of the biggest dome, a filigreed skylight that overlooked the embassy’s entry rotunda.
 It didn’t offer many shelters from the dwindling rain, but should any of the guards on the ringwall turn their attention away from the approach road and onto the rooftops of the Court, the crew would be hidden from view. 

Nina had Inej’s feet in her lap and Zaria's hand in front of her, that's when Kaz noticed how bloody they were, "could you please heal them?" asked the girl the heartrender who immediately nodded.

Zaria took a seat in front of her and watched Nina heal her hand, "I can’t get all the rubber off her heels," she said, as soon as they were in front of them.

"help her," said Kaz. 

"Me?" Jesper said in shock, "You don’t mean—"

"do it." ordered Kaz once again which made Zaria turn towards him in annoyance, Jesper crawled over to get a better look at Inej’s blistered feet, keenly aware of Kaz tracking his movements.

Jesper focused on the particles of rubber, trying to draw them away from Inej’s flesh the same way he’d extracted ore from the prison bars.

 Inej and Zaria knew his secret, but Nina was gaping at him, "You’re a Fabrikator?" Zaria turned towards Jepser who not once glanced at Nina, clearly hating every time someone bought up this topic.

"Would you believe me if I said no?" 

"Why didn’t you tell me?" 

"you never asked." he said lamely, and Nina looked at Zaria who shook her head as if indicating to not go any further, "don't." she mouthed and Nina immediately stayed silent.

Zaria knew Jesper better than anyone, and if she told her that it was a bad idea to talk about his powers then it is a bad topic.

Jesper was scared whenever Zaria used her powers, every time she did it immediately reminded him of that day his mother died after using her power to save a young girl from poison.

and when he confessed to her in one of his letters that it terrified him and that he didn't want to lose her too, she vowed that she will use them until necessary and when he embraces his.

"saints." he said and Inej grimaced, "That bad?" she asked genuinely but of course, Jesper had to remark.

"No, you just have really ugly feet." 

"Ugly feet that got you on this roof." both the suli girls snapped back while rolling their eyes, "But are we stuck here?" asked Nina, The Elderclock ceased its ringing, and in the silence that followed, she shut her eyes in relief. 

"Finally."

"What happened at the prison?" Wylan said, that panicked crackle back in his voice, "What triggered the alarm?" he asked once again.

"I ran into two guards," said Nina casually while shrugging and Jesper glanced up from his work frowning, "You didn’t put them down?"

"I did. But one of them got off a few shots. Another guard came running. That was when the bells started." she replied fixing Zaria's other hand, "Damn. So that’s what set off the alarm?"

"Maybe," said Nina turning her attention towards the bastard of the barrel with a harsh look, green fire in her eyes.

"Where were you, Kaz? I wouldn’t have been in the stairwell if I hadn’t wasted time looking for you. Why didn’t you meet me on the landing?" Zaria turned towards Kaz with narrowed eyes into slits.

she was studying him hard, trying not to let the blush take over and focus on an answer, was he seriously mad? for what? helping Inej?

Kaz was peering down through the glass of the dome, his hair falling in front of his forehead, and Zaria swore her heart almost jumped out but she could feel her temper beginning to fray at the next words leaving his lips.

 "I decided to search the cells on the fifth floor, too."

Zaria scoffed and got up, the crow stared at them, anyone who can't see the tension going on between them right now was blind, "what the actual fuck?" she spoke pointing a finger at him.

"so you decided to take off before Matthias and Jesper got back, then you just decide to expand your search and leave Nina thinking you're in trouble?" she asked with a death glare.

"There was something I needed to take care of." he snapped back barely glancing at her, she hated that, she climbed six levels probably, thinking thay she is 100% going to die.

"Not good enough." Whispered Jesper, "right, something to take care of, like fucking what exactly, bastard?"

 "I had a hunch," Kaz said, "I followed it." He resumed which made her ten times more annoyed and angrier.

Her expression was pure disbelief, eyes narrowed and eyes shooting daggers at him as sharp as Inej's saints.

Nina's expression was pure disbelief, "a hunch?"

"I made a mistake," snapped Kaz groaning in frustration, "all right?" He spoke looking at them with a dark look, his eyes met Zaria who was held back by Jesper.

"No," spoke Inej calmly, "You owe us an explanation." Zaria nodded immediately, "yeah, or I'll break your jaw and knock your fucking teeth out until you start choking on them."

Kaz faced her and took a step forwards, watching her with eyes burning in rage and her flames were higher than his, she pulled away from Jesper's hold tilting her head.

She wasn't intimated, he wanted to play this game, than it's on.

Zaria Isla may love Kaz Brekker, but she is not a pawn in his little game.

"Speaking of you, you weren't supposed to climb." He stated coldly and Zaria stared up at him with a crooked grin, same as his.

"Oh so this is what it's about?" She scoffed shaking her head but not once daring to touch him, they were dangerously close.

So close.

"I'm gonna fucking punch you, Brekker." She smiled innoncently at him hut everyone could hear the venom dripping from her tongue.

"Until you won't remember how to count your precious kruge." She spat, lip trembling in rage.

Kaz stepped and gave her a crooked smile, mirroring hers, "do it, I dare you, Isla."

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A/N: Ahhh we all love enemies to lovers, also ramadan is tomorrow, I'll try to post!! Wish me luck and i love you all<33

ALSO ZARIA IS SO UGH, SHE CAN PUNCH ME.

WE GOT BOOK!KAZ IN SEADON 2 AND THE PEKKA SCENE THE WAY I SCREAMED

BUT ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT KANEJ IN SEASON 2?!?!?! AND NIKOLAI, I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS MAN.

Byeeeee~