Chapter 30: Him.

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an old woman sat with her hands chained, flanked by guards. Her eyes were vacant. As each prisoner approached, the woman gripped his or her wrist. 

A human amplifier. Kaz knew Nina had worked with them when she’d been scouring the Wandering Isle for Grisha to join the Second Army. They could sense Grisha's power by touch, and he’d seen them hired on at high-stakes card games to make sure none of the players were Grisha.

"fuck." spoke Zaria in a whisper right beside him in annoyance, "I fucking knew I will get executed in here." she threw her head back with a sigh.

Nina didn't want to go first, so Zaria moved shooting the heartrender a reassuring look, Kaz watched her carefully. 

He could see her trembling as she held out her arm, her entire skin covered in scratches and purplish bruises, the woman clamped her fingers around Zaria's wrist and the girl closed her eyes in pain.

Her eyelids stuttered briefly, then she dropped the zemeni girl's hand and waved her along.

Had she known and not cared? Or had the paraffin they’d used to encase Zaria's forearms worked? The teenager frowned but moved either mouthing a small "ow" at the pain.

Nina was also as confused, standing beside Zaria who was trying to move her wrist without wincing in pure pain.

As they were led through an arch on the left, Zaria froze and looked behind in search of Kaz. he caught a glimpse of Zaria disappearing into the opposite arch with the other female prisoners, eyes searching for him. 

He felt a twinge in his chest, and with a disturbing jolt, he realized it was panic, it was as if she read right through him, "I'll be fine, I promise, stay safe." she said, mostly reassuring herself, she didn't want to leave him.

what if they found out she was grisha and she is on her way to her death? what if this is the last time she sees the Crows? she sees him? Saints, she hopes not.

She’d been the one to wake him from his nightmare in the cart. 

Her voice, soft like an angel, had brought him back from the dark, brought him life, it had been the tether he grasped and used to drag himself back to some semblance of sanity.

Her. 

He could tell that she was panicked as he is, what if this is the last time he sees her, he didn't want that, absolutely fucking not.

he saw a second walkway, where the female prisoners were being marched, right after when the male prisoners were led clanking up a dark flight of stairs to a metal walkway.

Zaria will be fine. He had to stay sharp. They were in enemy territory now, a place of steep risk, the kind of fix you didn’t walk out of if you didn’t keep your wits about you, she promised him.

and she will never break that promise, never.

For now, Kaz had to focus on the plan and finding YulBayur. He glanced at the others. Wylan looked as if he was ready to wet himself. Helvar appeared grim as always. 

Jesper just grinned and whispered, "Well, we’ve managed to get ourselves locked into the most secure prison in the world. We’re either geniuses or the dumbest sons of bitches to ever breathe air."

They were led into another white room, this one equipped with tin tubs and hoses and when Matthias and some of the others started to strip down, He swallowed the bile that rose in his throat. He refused to vomit. 

'Think about her voice, don't let them control you now' Kaz thought, doing everything he can to remember her voice, it seems like they were trying to make him forget even her voice, and Kaz would never let them do that.

I have been hoping for more than that, Brekker.

and Kaz Brekker needed and wanted to know what she meant by those words, he will not let anything happen to her or him unless he has an answer.

'Get it together, Brekker.' he scolded himself harshly. He was going to faint again but this time, Zaria isn't holding him by the sleeve, no one is, 'I have been hoping for more than that, Brekker' whatever she was hoping for he was going to give it to her.

He kept her voice in his head, repeating those words, again and again, as he stripped off his boots, his clothes, and finally his gloves.

He saw that Jesper was staring at his hands. "What were you expecting?" Kaz growled. 

"Claws, at least," Jesper said, shifting his gaze to his own bony bare feet, "Possibly a spiny thumb."

Sure, Zaria was a confident girl but she always was insecure about her body especially the angry scars all over her back, the girl got rid of her clothes and shivered.

Wrapping her arms tighter around her body she looked down, Nina was watching the scars down her whole back in different forms, a big X in the center.

"where did you get those scars from?" asked the green-eyed heartrender, finally tearing her eyes away from the zemeni girl who tensed at the question, she sighed heavily.

"Guess my mother loved her belt.." she chuckled trying to brush off her terrifying thoughts by making a joke but neither laughed and Zaria almost thanked the guard who tilted her head back roughly and forced her mouth open.

The girl scrunched her nose in disgust and hugged herself tighter just like she always did right after her mother hit her, then she was pushed violently into an ice-cold shower.

the girl suddenly felt her whole body aching, the scars burning as if it was brand new, when she emerged trembling and soaking, another guard handed her colorless, prison-issue trousers and a tunic from the stack beside her.

She wore the clothes, then made her way towards the holding area with the rest of the prisoners, shaking at how cold it is, she sat on the ground covering her face with her hands and trying to think about Kaz.

It seemed like every time she thought about him, her alarmed body seemed to relax.

she hated it and loved it at the same time, she really didn't want to do this, she didn't want to do this stupid heist, but at the same time, she does, all for him..and the Crows.

Zaria despised falling in love, it made her focus on nothing except that person, and she hated that.

Kaz on the other hand tried to catch a glimpse of at least one of the girls, He knew what was coming. He’d sussed out the others as soon as they entered the cell, and he knew it would be the burly Kaelish with the birthmark who came for him. He was twitchy and nervous, and he’d taken obvious notice of Kaz’s limp. 

"Hey, cripple." the Kaelish called in Fjerdan. 

He tried again in Kerch, his lilt heavy, "hey, crip!" He needn’t have bothered. Kaz knew the word for cripple in plenty of languages (Zaria taught him in Zemeni)

The next second, Kaz felt the air move as the Kaelish reached for him. He stepped left, and the Kaelish lurched forward, carried by his own momentum.

Kaz helped him along, seizing the man’s arm and driving it through the space between bars, all the way up to the shoulder. The Kaelish let out a loud grunt as his face smashed up against the iron bars.

Kaz braced the man’s forearm against the metal. He threw his weight against his opponent’s body and felt a satisfying pop as the Kaelish’s arm dislocated from his shoulder.

As the man opened his lips to cry out for help, Kaz covered his mouth with one hand and pinched his nose shut with the other. The feel of bare flesh on his fingers made him want to gag.

Focus, Kaz, Focus.

"Shhh," he said, using his grip on the man’s nose to steer him back to the bench against the wall, the other prisoners scattered to clear a path in fear

The man sat down hard, eyes watering, breathless. Kaz kept his hold on his nose and mouth. The Kaelish trembled beneath his grasp.

"You want me to put it back?" Kaz asked, tilting his head to the side, The Kaelish whimpered. 

"Do you?" he asked again and the Kaelish only whimpered in response as the prisoners looked on, "You scream, and I’ll make sure it never works right again, understand?"

He released the man’s mouth and shoved his arm back into its socket, the Kaelish rolled over on his side, curled up on the bench, and began to weep like a child.

Kaz wiped his hands on his trousers and returned to his spot by the bars. He could feel the others watching, but now he knew he would be left in peace.

Matthias appeared beside him, "Was that really necessary?"

"No." he replied, But it had been – to make sure they were left alone to do what needed to be done, and to remember that he wasn’t helpless.

Jesper hadn’t been able to miss Kaz’s little skirmish with the Kaelish. Kaz was usually unshakeable during a job, but now he was on edge, and Jesper didn’t know why.

He can't wait to tell Zaria about what just happened, speaking of his girl best friend he hoped she was alright due to her being in shackles and her situation that will probably haunt her for the rest of her life.

He noticed the relationship between her and his boss, and truth be told, he was happy for her, he could see the way her ears reddened at the mention of Kaz Brekker, and the way he easily trusted her, their little conversation about Anthony and when she told him they were alike.

Zaria never said that to anyone ever since she was young, but Kaz Brekker? then he must have a special spot in her heart.

even Kaz seemed to get closer to her when he bought her to the ship with eyes full of something he couldn't quite describe, her blood all over his white shirt but not once did he care, he held her tightly in his arms like the most expensive diamond ever.