Chapter 29: Alive.

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Kaz Bekker fainted.

"I'm alive!" he shouted, as loud as he could. But he was so small, and the boat was already drifting back to the harbor. Kaz tried to pull Jordie from the water.

His body covered in little blooming sores, his skin white and bruised and freezing. Kaz thought of the little wind-up dog, of drinking hot chocolate on the bridge.

He could feel the water filling his lungs, he was screaming, "Kaz!" A name called out for him, he wanted to call back, Zaria, that was her voice.

"Zaria..." he only managed to whisper as he tried to make his way to the surface, her voice echoed and made him swim faster in hope to catch a glimpse of her.

Just one glimpse, one only, for the last time.

Well she stayed awake for a while, also trying to not faint, leaning against the wall harder and focusing on Kaz panting, focusing on him, instead of herself.

"Kaz.." she seemed to call out for his name in a whisper that only he heard every 5 minutes, "wake up..." she whispered again doing everything she can not to touch him.

'I need you.' She thought feeling the world start spinning, she couldn't breathe and the hood made it even harder.

Head lolling to the side she wanted to intertwine her fingers with his, at least she will die holding his hand, right?

Zaria didn't know why Kaz fainted, she really didn't, she noticed the way he tensed when she touched his shoulder, the way he flinched, but she never thought it was this bad.

The question was why? Why was he so afraid of touch?

Even Inej was confused, poor girl tried to keep her awake for the whole trip, but of course, she loosed consciousness.

Way too exhausted to fight her own demons, this time, she lost the war, the monsters took control of her body and made her give up.

Every muscle in her body aching, legs weakening, her skin itchy, very itchy she wanted to rip her skin off, bruises forming along with drops of blood from how mucb she was wiggling and twitching.

"dad?" Zaria ran after the fading silhouette of her father, leaves slapping her cheeks as she got deeper into the forest, huge trees towering over her figure like the creatures she used to see in the corner of her room.

The shadow disappeared and suddenly she stopped dead in her track, metal spikes almost stabbing her as she took a step back, she looked up.

Her father's head hanging on one of the spikes followed by her steo sister and mother by his side, before she could even react the ground started trembling and the earth covered in moss, dead leaves, human bones.

It separated and swallowed her.

Landing on the ground she snapped her head around, the grey walls with silver carving made her feel sick, she was in the room where her mother used to hit her.

Except, her mother wasn't there holding a long belt that made her skin burn with a single hit, no.

The Crows, lay, dead. Inej's head tilted to the side, empty and not a single of light in them, Jesper who always had a sparkle in his eyes no matter what was tied to the wall along with Wylan.

Wylan... poor boy was staring at the ceiling with a dried tear on the side of his face, and Matthias, his blonde hair, burnt and his whole skin also showing the mucles.

Nina's by his side, same situation.

She screamed dropping to her knees and reaching for Inej, tapping her cheek and crying, begging for the saints for her to wake up.

One after the other, she reached for the Crows, although she couldn't even touch Nina and her lover due to their still hurning skin she still did, cupping Nina's cheek and tasting the salty tears.

"Oh, Jes." She kneeled in front of him and pulled his limp body to hers, sobbing uncontrollably and running her hand through his hair

Her lower lip trembled as she shook her head hoping all this was a nightmare, Kaz, he was nowhere to be found.

With that she ran up the stairs, looking everywhere for him and calling out for his name, he was nowhere to be found and just as she glanced back at the room she hated.

The bodies disappeared and fire surrounded her in a blink of an eye.

The girl woke up with a gasp, looking around and calling out for Jesper's name then Kaz's.

The zemeni boy couldn't see her but managed to whisper, "I'm here, you are safe." He knes what she was currently feeling. Really.

Fuck this job.

Zaria went to jail three times

Once she was caught stealing a ruby and stayed there for 3 whole weeks, The second time when she got in a bar fight.

Zaria sat on one of stools at the bar, holding a bottle of rum in her right hand and drowning her anger away.

Her girl friend, Dorothea, was ranting about a handsome boy they once met in their entire lives, "honestly Dorothea, you met him once." She rolled her eyes but the corner of her lips quirked up.

Dorothea followed her eyes until they stopped on another who was smiling innocently at her and waving, Zaria raised her bottle as a sign of hello, shooting her a wink.

"Zaria, please, stop flirting with everyone." Dorothea massaged her temples, the girl turned around and sighed, "I am not flirting, just saying hello."

Group of men brushed past them and the teenager eyed them up and down, "do you even know how to dress?" A man spoke in disgust staring at Isla.

Zaria cocked an eyebrow, her tongue running on her lip as she bit them with a scoff.

"Do you even know how to mind your own damn mother fucking business?" She snapped back putting the bottle away.

Dorothea placed a careful hand on her friend's shoulder, eyes wide in fear, Zaria got up facing the man with a glare.

Faces inches away as she tilted her head to the side she stared down at him, not a single hint of fear.

Even if she was facing Novyi Zem's famous gangster leader, not once did she care, if he hated her clothes then he can pour acid in his eyes.

Cause he will not tell her how to dress.

She wore black pants, black oversized silk shirt and some brown leather boots, her face covered in bruises from the fights she got into the past few weeks.

The leader grabbed her collar and pulled her close to him, not once did she flinch, the sharp smell of cigar burning her nostrils.

"And who do you think you are, you little bitch?" Spat the man watching as she grabbed the napkin on his pocket, wiping her cheek and grinning wickedly up at him.

She was a teenager, "your mother." She replied slowly, eyes burning with rage, with that someone shouted "FIGHT!" in the distance.

And the fight started, she pushed the man violently and grabbed the bottle of rum, smashing it on his head, the people working in the bar stood by her side and immediately attacked the other men.

"I'M HAVING SUCH FUN!" she exclaimed grinning brightly, the man grabbed her collar and punched her, and another.

Zaria laughed, feeling the metallic taste of blood on her mouth as she threw her head back, laughing manically.

Grabbing his hair she slammed his head against one of the gambling tables earning winces and cheering from the crowd.

The man with one single hit, was out.

She turned around, silence, a trail of blood leaving her nose and lips but she only smiled, and with that the club broke into cheers.

Picking her up and twirling her around, chanting her name as if it was their national anthem, she just ended the man that terrorized them for years whole career. And that night, was the beginning of hers.

A career that will make everyone fear her, a successful one, the queen of Novyi Zem.

But of course, police ruined the night, she spent 3 days between bars but who cares? She earned the whole country's respect in 3 days.

And it stayed like that for years, who can even do that?

In every journal it was written,  "A 16 year old beating the most well known gangster's leader in a bar fight in Novyi Zem, a shocking thing indeed!" The words were written in Bold.

Black letters big enough to catch every reader's attention, reaching even the king and queen of Ravka who were very impressed.

Nikolai had a grin on his lips as he read the words loud enough fir everyone to hear, "shocking for a 16 year old Zemeni." Said the queen.

"Did they say her name or any information?" Asked the queen her son who shook his head, "No, mother. They did not. But that is a very shocking thing indeed, I shall meet her one day!"

How happy she would be if she ever meets the King and Queen of Ravka.

And lastly the third time was very stupid, just for stealing a golden chain, very stupid and useless, right?

Ridiculous.

Yet, Zaria never thought she was going to go inside the world's biggest prison in shackles.

Let's just hope no one knows her.

In the prison wagon, Kaz woke to a sharp jab against his thigh. He was ice cold and in darkness. There were bodies all around him, pressing against his back, his sides. He was drowning in corpses. "Kaz." Zaria.

Her voice, like a burst of light, like the sun, it lit the corner of his heart and pushed the separated the monsters gripping his wrists away in a blink of an eye.

"Kaz?"

He managed a deep breath through his nose. He felt her pull away from him. Somehow, in the cramped confines of the wagon, she managed to give him space.

Relief written all over her face and he swore he could see the shiny tears behind the hood, she sighed, the worry vanishing as soon as she heard his breathing again.

He looked down and that's when he saw her gripping his sleeve as if her life depended on it, his hood reached to his chin, when he looked down, her brown skin was the first he saw.

The material crushing in her fist, she was scared, he couldn't describe the fear in het eyes, her wrists were bruised and bleeding, her muscles tensed.

His heart was pounding, Keep talking," he rasped and Zaria also as messed as he is managed to whisper a "what?"

"Just keep talking." He ordered, as if her voice bought him life, Zaria blinked though she couldn't see anything, finally letting go of his sleeve.

She managed to grab it during her panic attack moment, the hood had a small hole.

She didn't touch him for the rest of the trip, not even when they almost tripped, she managed to pull him carefully by the sleeve.

Zaria thanked every saint that it was only a dream, that her Crows, her family, weren't dead.

That her Kaz, was beside her and not missing.

"We’re passing through the prison gate. We made it past the first two checkpoints, Inej said." She spoke.

Kaz noticed how tired she looked, her voice raspy and full of exhaustion and the bastard of the barrel wanted to reach out and hold her hand, intertwine their fingers and kiss every knuckle.

That brought him fully to his senses. They’d gone through two checkpoints. That meant they’d been counted. Someone had opened that door, not once but twice, maybe even laid hands on him, and he hadn’t woken.

He could have been robbed, or killed (no, Zaria and Inej would slaughter that person).

He’d imagined his death a thousand ways but never slept through it.

He forced himself to breathe deeply, despite the smell of bodies. He’d kept his gloves on, something the guards might have easily taken note of, and a frustrating concession to his weakness, but if he hadn’t, he felt fairly sure he’d have gone completely mad.

Just as Zaria opened her mouth to ask him if he was alright, she closed it again.

Letting out a loud and long sigh herself, she fixed her posture, ignoring the pain coming from her wrists.

Behind then, they could hear the other prisoners murmuring to one another in different languages.

Her voice pulled him out of the water,  she was a saint, her hand out ready to pull him out of the water.

He hated that Inej and Zaria had seen him this way, that anyone had, but on the heels of that thought came another: Better it should be them, his Wraith & his Storm.

He trusted Inej with his entire life, and Zaria, even if she got here a few months ago, he trusted her.

He heard what sounded like a gate creaking open, and they were herded forward, shuffling along in their shackles. 

He squinted as his hood was suddenly yanked free. They were standing in a large courtyard. The massive gate set into the ringwall was already being lowered closed, and it struck the stones with an ominous series of clanks and groans.

When Kaz looked up, he saw guards stationed all along the roof of the courtyard, rifles aimed down at the prisoners. The guards below were moving along the rows of shackled captives, trying to match them to the driver ’s paperwork by name or description. 

Real prisoners.

Just as soon as his hood was yanked, the first thing that caught his eyes was Zaria.

A clenched jaw and fists, murderous look, dried tears no one noticed, messy black hair, her head tilted to the side in anger.

How the fuck does she still look good?

He followed her eyes, who was she glaring at, the guards were arguing with the wagon driver now, and one of them was pointing at the two brown skinned girls.

"What’s happening?" he whispered to Nina watching as one of the guards broke ey contact once meeting her harsh look.

"They’re claiming the papers are out of order, that they have two Suli girl instead of a Shu boy and blonde." Replied Nina.

"And the driver?" asked Inej.

"He just keeps telling them it’s not his problem."

His eyes landed on Zaria who was having a staring contest with the guard, her lower lip trembling in absolute rage.

The metal agaisnt her skin made her mad, so mad, that she almost grabbed a gun and start firing at everyone, grab Bo Yul-Bayur and get the fuck out.

Impossible, but let a girl dream.

"That’s the way," Kaz murmured encouragingly. Kaz watched them go back and forth. That was the beauty of all these failsafes and layers of security. The guards always thought they could rely on someone else to catch a mistake or fix a problem. Laziness wasn’t as reliable as greed, but it still made a fine lever. And they were talking about prisoners – chained, surrounded on all sides, and about to be dumped into cells.

Harmless.

Finally, one of the prison guards sighedand signalled to his cohorts, "Diveskemen."

"Go on," Nina translated, and then continued as the guard spoke, "Take them to the east block and let the next shift sort them out."

This will be fun.

They are alive and that's all that mattered, sure, Brekker knew he will probably die right after all is done, between the hands of Zaria Isla.

But at least he will die between hers instead of someone else's.