Chapter 22: Awake.

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In the cramped little surgeon’s cabin, Nina tried to put Inej’s body back together with Zaria's, but she hadn’t been trained for this type of work.

Speaking of Zaria's wound, Nina surprisingly managed to heal her face but there was still an angry scar left across her face, Kaz Brekker seemed to come once in a while to visit his Wraith for a while but suddenly stopped.

Nina thought of the look on his face when he’d set Inej down on the table. He was the same Kaz everyone knew, cold, rude, impossible, and burning in rage but when he set Zaria on the table, beneath all that anger, she thought she’d seen something else, too. Or maybe she was just a romantic.

Inej was the first to wake up, everything was spinning, she woke up in a bed (surprisingly) while Zaria slept unmoving on the table, and Jesper on the other hand almost cried.
He was by Zaria's side blaming himself silently and won't stop asking Nina if she will be alright, poor Heartrender almost punched him, and chased him out so he could let them rest and stop talking.

Wylan hated seeing Zaria so pale and covered in blood, she was always smiling and clean and wearing fabulous clothes and jewelry but now, she was unconscious on the table, Wylan thinks that Jesper will lose his mind in worry.

Jesper felt ready to throw himself overboard just for a change in routine. Six more days. Six more days on this sickening boat while his best friend, his family, was trying to grip life in her hand and not die.

Worry ate him alive and he found himself thinking that it was his fault she's not awake, he missed her voice, he missed her. He needs his sister or else he will hurl himself off this Ferolind.

Jesper checked on Inej and Zaria every morning and every night. The idea that the ambush on the docks might simply be the end of them had shaken him. 

Yet, he had prayed to the saints for either of them to wake up, for the ocean not to swallow them, and for the heist to go as planned.

Even Matthias was shocked to see her like that, he was actually confused as to why she was all bloody and in the arms of demjin, there is no way this demon-like teenager picked her up.

But one morning, the sharpshooter arrived to find the Suli beauty sitting up, clothed in breeches, quilted vest, and hooded tunic with Nina struggling to get Inej's feet into her strange rubber-soled slippers.

And Jesper almost cried with joy as he listened to Nina and Inej but was startled when she took Nina’s face between her hands and said, "Thank you for keeping me in this world when fate seemed determined to drag me to the next. I owe you a life debt."

And Nina blushed deeply. “I was teasing, Inej.” She paused. “I think we’ve both had enough of debts." Then they started talking about waffles, Jesper turned towards Zaria who was still asleep, chest rising and falling as quiet snorts left her.

He walked closer to her and stared at the scar, both her lips had cuts, but they healed and it seems like someone has tried to slice her head open but couldn't, thanks saints they didn't touch any bone.

but she still looked beautiful, he knew she would find her scar cool when she woke up since she grew up reading about pirates, etc, that thought itself made him smile.

"wake up, Z." with that he offered Inej his arm, who immediately took it and asked Jesper what happened in worry as soon as they walked out, Nina following close behind.

Zaria did as told, she fluttered her eyes open and groaned in pain, her legs dangled off the table as she yawned, looking down she frowned at the brown shorts, a clean bandage wrapped around her thigh.

"Did I die?" looking around the unfamiliar place she tried to remember what happened, the wooden floor, the lantern, the sound of waves... Zaria rolled her eyes immediately, "oh yeah, stupid heist didn't let me die."

She still wore the white ripped shirt and just as she looked back down to her bare feet, she shivered at the cold, landing on the floor with a small thud she winced at the pain in her thigh for landing too hard.

making her way towards the bucket filled with water, Zaria washed her face and then her hair desperately wanting to get rid of the blood and dirt, then she grabbed some clothes from her luggage who was in the room.

'why the fuck is my luggage here?' she thought with a frown before grabbing her clothes, this place was freezing and the shorts didn't help either, putting on some black high-waist pants, a white blouse, and a navy blue sweater Vest on top she grabbed one of her ribbons and put her hair in a high ponytail.

Making sure the dagger is secure in her raven hair, Zaria walked out of the room as slowly as possible since her leg still hurt a little bit, "Wylan? Do you have anything sweet, some chocolate?" 

Everyone fell silent, It was a stone grey day, the sea a bleak slate broken up by whitecaps, the sky pleated with thick ripples of cloud. A hard wind filled the sails, carrying the little boat over the waves. 

Nina, Wylan, and Jesper yelled her name in unison and all rushed towards her making her take a step back in concern, Jesper was the first to reach since he had long legs and pulled her into a tight embrace.

Zaria smiled and wrapped her arms around him as tightly, Jesper was tall so he had to lean in and crouch a bit to hug her better, Zaria only wrapped her arms around his waist.

She chuckled at the sight of grey eyes sparkling like a diamond as tears covered them, "Stop it, please." she said not wanting to cry if he does, Jesper nodded and wiped his eyes like a child.

Giving him one last hug she turned to Wylan who had the brightest grin on his lips, Zaria almost cried at how adorable he is, "it's good to see you okay!" he said, shooting her another smile that made his eyes sparkle like the sun.

"Oh, Jesper! your boyfriend is adorable!" she exclaimed cupping Wylan's cheeks who immediately reddened at her words before pulling the younger boy into an embrace.

"My what?!"

Kaz watched in the background in pure awe, a small smile on his lips to see the girl beam angelically as she hugged Wylan as if he was her son, saints she is absolutely stunning.

Then, Nina melted as soon as Zaria hugged her, blushing like a drunk woman and smiling until her eyes disappeared, Inej glanced over her shoulder at Kaz who was still staring.

"Saints Kaz, it's very scary seeing you like this." The small smile disappeared and was placed with a glare as he turned to the Suli girl who leaned against the railing smirking.

"Shut up, Inej." he snapped back and watched as she made her way toward Zaria, oh she can't wait to tell Nina about the way Kaz was looking at the girl.

Zaria looked towards him as soon as Inej appeared by her side whispering something kissing the girl's cheek, the black-haired girl kissed her back on the cheek and made her way towards the bastard of the barrel who tried not to stare at how comfy she looked.

"It's good to see you not dead, Isla." he managed to say after clearing his throat and breaking eye contact, Zaria rolled her eyes and leaned her back against the railing making sure to shoot him her prettiest smile.

"I would be in hell right now if it wasn't for you," she replied, shooting him a wink and wincing softly at her leg, Kaz could feel the heat rushing to the back of his neck and spreading to his ears.

"I'm still waiting for my thank you," he said staring at the sea ahead and doing everything to ignore how hot he suddenly became and stare at the way the cold breeze slapped her cheeks.

"What, thank you? As I said, you are the reason why I'm still here, isn't that enough? You think I forgot about you calling me a pain in the ass?" she frowned and crossed her arms in front of her chest like a child.

Her lips pouted, eyebrows frowned, and a glare, Kaz pushed aside the distinct way that his heartbeat quickened and the slight pull he felt at the corners of his lips by rolling his eyes.

"And I already said that I will give you a bit of my money." that made her grin as she nodded, "oh yeah, I forgot." shooting a toothy smile she turned her head to the side, doing everything she can to ignore her flaming cheeks after remembering the night.

"But seriously, thank you, handsome, for taking me and bringing me here, especially having difficulty walking without your cane, I really appreciate it. I hope your leg doesn't hurt." 

the last sentence was filled with worry, it made Kaz melt in his spot, eyes softening and turning to look at the girl, studying her carefully. her scar was deep pink keloid and it bulged out of her face, dark brown doe eyes staring at him like he was a saint, alluring black wavy hair with very loose curls, and soft pink lips that made anyone want to kiss them, the golden spectrum piercing sparkling every chance the light hit it.

She was absolutely beautiful, the cold breeze slapping her cheeks and making her hair fly freely, and her smile, saints, it brainwashed completely and it made him feel safe, made him feel like a child seeing their crush.

Zaria caught the way his eyes roamed her face making her cheeks turn rosy, almost feverishly traveling down to her neck, and she could see the way the corner of his mouth raised and his eyebrow too, satisfied to make her a flustered mess.

 "Your welcome, gorgeous." that made her pretty brown eyes widen and the warmth spread over her face and body, he cleared his throat to try and brush off the urge to grin widely, "and no, my leg doesn't hurt at all."

Lies. His leg hurts like a bitch and he is trying so hard to stay standing and not drop to the ground in pain, he can still remember the way the demons gripped him, scratched him with their claws until blood poured, and dragged him down the water to absolutely destroy his lungs.

Yet, he did everything to focus on the girl in his arms, how warm she felt, how her voice sounded like a lullaby, pulling him out of the water like a man lured by a princess or child following a fairy, or a butterfly, even a mermaid.

Her voice was like a cure, one drop, one word, one syllable and it sent the demon away with a screech that made him go deaf, made them vanish, and made his soul light up as the moon did to the whole world.

What was wrong with him? Why was this girl making him feel things he never did before? warm, safe, and..alive? Usually, it was the money who did that and the thought of destroying Pekka Rollins.
But now, he sounded like a lovestruck 14-year-old boy, sure, he was still a teenager who still didn't have the right to vote, but as he once said, that night with her in his office, that love was just a joke.

He was Kaz Brekker, and his mission, for now, was for this plan to go right, for them to become incredibly rich, and for him to absolutely ruin Pekka Rollins's life as he did to his.

But his mind went back to the sentence she said a few days ago, what did she mean by that? before he could even have the time to ask her, she spoke.

"Well, I am glad. Inej said that you wanted to talk to me about the heist?" Kaz swallowed and looked around in search of the wraith who was in fact talking to Nina who was smiling.

He death glared at the two and turned his attention back to Zaria who already followed his gaze in concern, "No, do not worry. I already thought about it and I didn't like it."

"And that is?" Trailed off the girl, it was weird to see him like that, he was never one to forget the heist or the plan.

Kaz watched as she turned around, her hand clasped in front of her as she stared at the water, "nothing." He replied quite harshly than he intended to, his mind going back to that night.

Zaria's eyes narrowed and he could see the flash of hurt, "what happened to you, that night? Who was that fucker who did this to you?" He asked, ordered for her to tell him who hurt his Storm.

Zaria then remembered the scar, her body was covered in them, covered in bruises, all from one single person.

He watched as she tried to fix her posture, a flash of pain clear in her eyes as she cleared her throat, deep in thought, was she thinking about what happened that night? if only he can read her mind.

"It's the scar isn't it?" she spoke again not once meeting his eyes, her voice fading away with the waves as if she never spoke, "I hate it. I hate who gave it to me, more." she resumed her voice a little louder and he could see the anger in the ravishing bitter coffee eyes.

His eyes fell to her hands, she was scratching them repeatedly and not once stopped, last time he checked Jesper had said when talking about her that she never felt insecure about her scars, that she felt like a pirate whenever she got one.

Yet now, here she is, Kaz's eyes stayed stuck on her beautiful hands, she was now playing with one of her rings, the white pearl sparkling, what was she thinking about that made her this fidgety?

He reached over doing everything he could to focus on her brown skin rather than on the monsters that immediately appeared just at the thought, he grabbed her hand and seized it, keeping it on the railing.

 Zaria's breath hitched as she looked at Kaz who was glaring at her. His hand was warm and the fabric felt perfect and soft against her cold hand that won't stop shaking, but it felt like there was no barrier between them.

He didn't like touch, but there was something about her that always made him fight his fear just to feel her flawless skin against his, like a burst of energy, even when his demons didn't allow it, he wanted to. but when he did, even the slightest touch sent him over the edge.

It felt like his own hand, without the glove, was on top of hers. Due to them always being hidden from the world, she knew they were incredibly warm, hers were always freezing, so this was perfect.

She wanted to turn her hand and intertwine their fingers together but couldn't move, it's funny, how a boy like Kaz Brekker with the coldest personality has incredibly warm hands while she, has freezing ones.

Kaz let go of her hand and placed it on the crow's head clenching it, "no. there is absolutely nothing wrong with the scar. I like you more with it tho, like a pirate."

Zaria's anger vanished and was placed by pure happiness, they lit up like a child receiving candy, her cheeks reddening for the 10000th time today since she left that cabin, "really?" warmth rushed to her cheeks.

He nodded, " at least now we have something in common." She looked back in front of her, doing everything she could not to smile widely until her cheeks hurt like a mad woman.

"Ah, like the one on the corner of your lips?" Kaz froze, how does she know when she didn't even glance at him and was staring at the sea, realization hit him like his cane as his hands suddenly felt hot in his gloves even in this cold weather.

She was studying him, now she knows every scar probably on his face.

This girl made him feel so stupid, she always managed to find something that made him freeze, always found the answer first, and made it seem like he wasn't thinking enough.

He scoffed and stepped away from her, not bearing the feeling anymore, he hated it, he wanted to grab it and crush it in his hands, Kaz limped to the bow, annoyed with himself and angry with Inej for making them have such a conversation.

Sure, she did them a favor, but he couldn't.

Not when Zaria Isla was always the one who made him feel..happy? Was it the right word? She made him feel warm, made him forget everything as if Pekka Rollins didn't exist, as if Jordie wasn't dead and he didn't use his body as support, as if nothing bad happened in this world and that she was the only one in his life.

Her only, no one else.

And he hated that feeling, despised it as much as he did to Pekka (not really) and he didn't want to forget what that fucker did to him, he had to absolutely ruin him for what he's done.

Zaria watched him walk away and Jesper suddenly appeared by her side, "did you say something bad?" asked Jesper, "I have no idea." replied the black-haired girl with a frown.

She followed Kaz with her eyes until they caught Matthias, he thought she was going to death glare him and throw him off the boat but she only shot him a small smile and a respectful nod.

Matthias found himself nodding back, poor him was still in shackles, "is he..in shackles?" she asked with a frown once catching a glimpse of the metal.

"yes. Kaz decided that." she rolled her eyes in annoyance, "Kaz, he should know that Matthias is a human being, not an animal!" she groaned in annoyance.

"Speaking of Kaz, what were you both talking about?" asked the boy wiggling his eyebrows, "nothing. just him being..confused?" Jesper snorted at that.

"Kaz? confused? yeah right." he chuckled walking away after ruffling her hair, why can't anyone believe that he was confused? because he truly was.

"Why the fuck can't anyone believe that Kaz fucking Brekker was really confused?" She muttered massaging her temples.