Chapter 43: back to the crows.

——♤——

Zaria was in a coma, not once did she wake up, her heart had stopped once and thanks to Matthias she didn't die.

Jesper was angry, very angry, at a) because he thought Jan Van eck killed his lover, his best friend, and the other best friend he loved to annoy.

b), because of his and Kaz's heated argument: let's go back.

"Nina might not be able to put you back, you know. Not without another dose of parem. You could be stuck like this." spoke Jesper looking at Wylan who avoided his eyes, "Why does it matter?" he asked.

"I don't know!" Jesper said angrily, "Maybe I liked your stupid face." He turned to Matthias not wanting to look at his lover's startled eyes.

"You knew. Wylan knew. Inej knew. Everyone but me." he was very angry now, for the entire time he was by Zaria's side and her fighting a drug reminded him of the day his mother died, making him even angrier.

and now, they don't tell him the plan?

"Ask me why, Jesper," Kaz said, his patience at an end. Jesper shifted uneasily on his feet, his anger easing down, "Why?" and he regretted even asking that question immediately.

"You were the one who sold us out to Pekka Rollins." He thrust an accusatory finger at Jesper, "You're the reason we were ambushed when we tried to leave Ketterdam. You almost got us all killed."

Zaria wasn't there to take Jesper's side, cause if she heard him now she would've killed Kaz, pointing a finger at him the same way he was doing or even her dagger and yelling at him.

but he knew she will be surprised by what Kaz is saying at the same time.

"I didn't tell Pekka Rollins anything. I never-" started Jesper cut off by the bastard of the barrel, "You told one of the Dime Lions you were leaving Kerch, but that you'd be coming into big money, didn't you?"

at that, Jesper swallowed, "I had to. They were leaning on me hard. My father's farm-"

"I told you not to tell anyone you were leaving the country. I warned you to keep your mouth shut." Kaz's words were as sharp as a razor, cutting right through him.

"I didn't have a choice! You had me locked up in the Crow Club before we left. If you'd let me-" Kaz turned on him. 

"Let you what? Play a few hands of Three Man Bramble? Dig yourself deeper in with every boss in the Barrel stupid enough to extend you credit? You told a member of Pekka's gang you were about to be flush."

"I didn't know he'd go to Pekka. Or that Pekka knew about parem. I was just trying to buy myself some time." and the next words leaving Kaz's lips made his heart drop and rage rush through his veins.

"Saints, Jesper, you really haven't learned anything in the Dregs, have you? You're still the same dumb farm boy who stepped off the boat."

Jesper lunged for him, and Kaz felt a surge of giddy violence. Finally, a fight he could win. 

But Matthias stepped between them, holding them each back with a massive hand, "Stop. Stop this." Kaz didn't want to stop. He wanted to beat them all bloody and then brawl his way through the Barrel.

"Matthias is right," said Wylan, "We need to think about what's next," said Wylan hoping it would ease the tension and boys from killing each other.

"There is no next," Kaz snarled. Van Eck would see to that. They couldn't go back to the Slat or get help from Per Haskell and the other Dregs.

Van Eck would be watching, waiting to pounce. He'd turn the Barrel, Kaz's home, his little kingdom, into hostile territory. 

"Jesper made a mistake," said Wylan., "A stupid mistake, but he didn't set out to betray anyone." Jesper would never.

Kaz stalked away, trying to clear his head, his eyes hostile.

He knew Jesper hadn't realized what he was setting in motion, but he also knew he could never really trust Jesper again, it pained him.

And maybe he'd kept him in the dark about Wylan because he wanted to punish him a little. 

In a few hours, when they'd failed to make contact, Specht would row out for them in the longboat. For now, there was nothing but the flat grey of the sky and the dead rock of this miserable excuse for an island. 

And Zaria's absence, Kaz wanted to hit someone. He wanted someone to hit him, his wraith was gone, the only person who understood him, the love of his life was fighting to stay alive, because of him.

Jesper couldn't find the right words to describe Kaz's anger, ever since Zaria slipped into the coma fighting the drug, he was cold and scarier. and now that his wraith was taken.

Kaz was ferocious, Jesper didn't recognize him, the bastard of the barrel had Satan by his side, the devil was following him and listening to the teenager's orders instead of Kaz, and dirtyhands was the boss now.

——♤——

and c) because he missed Wylan's stupid face, he really did, the boy never thought he would miss someone's face, yet here he is, wanting to see the brown-red curls he adored.

Life would've been a fairytale if that asshole Jan Van Eck gave them their money and let them leave, well, he decided to capture Inej to be used as leverage against Kaz.

Kaz had ordered Specht to take Kuwei and Nina from the Ferolind in the second longboat – the one he’d told Jesper was being repaired. They were safely stashed in the abandoned cages below the old prison tower at Hellgate

Matthias had hated the idea of letting Nina go anywhere without him, especially in her state, but Kaz had convinced him that keeping her and Kuwei aboard the Ferolind would leave them exposed.

yet, here they all are, the crows were miserable, with no Inej and no Zaria, they weren't complete and they felt weak.

What am I doing here? That thought had run through Wylan's head at least six times a day since he'd met Kaz Brekker.

But on a night like this, a night when they were "working" it rose and fell in his head like a nervous tenor practicing his scales: 

WhatamIdoingherewhatamIdoingherewhatamIdoinghere?

the poor boy missed the black-haired girl, for the entire 13 days it was pure silence, no more sarcastic Zaria, nothing, just pure silence and it was the worst.

the atmosphere was filled with anger and revenge, nothing more, nothing else.

he missed her, he missed her support, her comfort, her little hugs, and the way she shipped him and the sharpshooter, he missed her voice.

Everyone did, mostly Jesper and Kaz, well Jesper talked about her and how he should've taken the drug with her, he sat by her side holding her hand and zoning out, blaming himself, and the boy found himself once holding Jesper's hand.

Zaria slept, face covered in sweat, her chest barely going up and down, her heart weakening by the hour, and not one finger moved.

Jesper stared at the wall, holding her hand for dear's life, yesterday it was her heart stopping and now she was getting weaker, "please wake up." he whispered kissing her hand.

placing her hand gently on her stomach he wiped the seat away before stepping away, Wylan leaned against the wall watching Jesper while chewing on his upper lip.

The zemeni boy stared with exhausted eyes, he suddenly felt a presence beside him, he didn't have to look, he knew who it was just by the scent of sheet music and pear; home.

Wylan stared at the girl as well, "Even if she is asleep, she looks as beautiful as the moon." said Jesper fixing the blanket and reaching for the comfort of his revolver.

"she does," he replied nodding, Jesper cleared his throat and looked down at the boy, "you got a new scar," he said pointing at the healed scar on his cheekbone.

it was barely noticeable, but Jesper did, he noticed everything about Wylan.

his cheek reddened, "I do," the words came out like a whisper, and Jesper grinned, for the first time in the past 2 days he smiled, it wasn't a teasing one, it was genuine.

he placed a hand adorned with rings on his shoulders before brushing past him, Wylan didn't think twice before grabbing the boy's hand, holding it, and running his thumb over each knuckle, he looked up.

eyes meeting ravishing grey ones that made his cheeks redden, "she will wake up, I know she will..." he said earning a chuckle from Jesper, he cocked his eyebrow at the boy.

their eyes never left one another until Matthias walked in, watching the two weirdly, both tore away and Wylan walked away in hurry, embarrassment twinkling in his eyes.

——♤——

and Kaz, he tensed and fought the urge to murder someone when her name was uttered, when he spoke her name, the poor boy could feel two brown almost black eyes staring right into his soul, and when he turned.

he met Kaz Brekker's murdering looks, immediately regretting and hiding behind Jesper thanks to his height, his eyes glinting like the edge of a straight razor.

Over Kaz's shoulder, Wylan saw a little girl standing on the landing, leaning on the neck of one of the massive gray dogs.

She had to be about five, her toes barely visible beneath the hem of her flannel nightgown, "Oh Ghezen," Wylan whispered voice trembling in shock.

Kaz stepped out into the hall, pulling the door nearly shut behind him. Wylan hesitated in the darkened office, unsure of what he should do, terrified of what Kaz might do.

The girl looked up at Kaz with big eyes, then removed her thumb from her mouth, "Do you work for my da?" she asked eyes big.

"no." he replied

Wylan shuddered at the memory of ambushing the clerk and Kaz's eyes, through the crack in the door, he saw Kaz squat down so he could look the little girl in the eye.

"What's this big fellow's name?" Kaz said, laying a hand on the dog's wrinkled neck. 

did Kaz Brekker just pet a dog during a heist? he will tell Zaria that when she wakes up, 100%

"This is Maestro Spots." she replied eyes twinkling happily as she introduced her precious dog, "is that so?" asked Kaz cocking his head.

"He has a very fine howl. Da lets me name all the puppies."

"Is Maestro Spots your favorite?" asked Kaz, the little girl appeared to think her finger on her lips as a small hum left her lips, then shook her head.

"I like Duke Addam Von Silverhaunch best, then Fuzzmuzzle, then Maestro Spots."

"That's good to know, Hanna." Wylan gulped, her mouth opened into a little O, "How do you know my name?" she asked.

"I know all children's names."
"you do?" 

Kaz nodded, "Oh, yes. Albert who lives next door and Gertrude on Ammberstraat. I live under their beds and in the backs of the closets." way to go, Kaz. what a nice way to talk to a child.

"I knew it," the girl breathed, fear and triumph in her voice, "Mama said there was nothing there, but I knew it." She cocked her head to one side. 

"You don't look like a monster." a monster wasn't handsome with black hair falling in front of his forehead, and sharp features, "I'll tell you a secret, Hanna. The really bad monsters never look like monsters."

what would Zaria's reaction be like when Wylan tells her about him talking to a child like that? will she scold the bastard of the barrel? find it attractive for saint's sake?

Now the little girl's lip trembled, "Did you come to eat me? Da says monsters eat children who don't go to bed when they're told."

"They do. But I won't." he stopped raising an eyebrow at the sudden relief in her eyes, "Not tonight. If you do two things for me." His voice was calm, almost hypnotic. It had the coarse rasp of an over-rosined bow. 

the fear came back into the girl's eyes as soon as the sentence left his lips, "First, you must crawl into bed. And second, you must never tell anyone you've seen us, especially your da." He leaned forward and gave Hanna's braid a playful tug. 

if Kaz has a kid in the future, I will be very shocked, thought Wylan watching the scene unfold in front of him.

"Because if you do, I'll slit your mother's throat and then your father's, and then I'll cut out the hearts of all these sweet slobbering hounds. I shall save Duke Silverhaunch for last so that you will know it’s all your fault." oh shit, what the actual fuck?

Wylan's jaw dropped open in shock, the little girl's face was as white as the lace on the neck of her nightgown, her eyes wide and bright as new moons. 

"Do you understand?" She nodded frantically, chin wobbling. 

"Now, now, no tears. Monsters see tears and it only whets their appetites. Off to bed with you, and take that useless Maestro Spots along too." She skittered backward over the landing and up the stairs.

When she was halfway up, she cast a terrified glance back at Kaz. He raised one gloved finger to his lips before waving. 

Wylan tried to imagine Zaria's shocked face and scrunched nose, tried to picture her standing there with a jaw to the floor and crossed arms

When she was gone, Wylan slipped out from behind the door and followed Kaz down the steps.

"How could you say something like that to her? She's just a child." 

"We were all just children once," he replied making Wylan roll his eyes in the dark, so dramatic.

"but-" 

"It was that or snap her neck and make it look like she fell down the stairs, Wylan. I think I showed remarkable restraint. Move." this boy, sighing, they picked their way past the rest of the dogs still flopped down in the hallway.

"Incredible," Kaz said, "they'd probably stay like that all night." He blew on the whistle and they leaped up, ears pricked, ready to guard the house. 

When Smeet returned home, all would be as it should: hounds pacing the ground floor; office intact on the second floor; wife snoozing comfortably on the third floor, and daughter pretending to do the same.

poor girl will believe that he is the monster until she is 100 years old.

——♤——

Zaria's eyes fluttered open, turning her head to the side hoping to find Kaz Brekker or anyone of the crows.

She was met with nothing but grey walls, she frowned, is she kidnapped?

She thought she would wake up in a king bed with an expensive chandelier and other things, but no, she was in a room that looked nothing like a mansion.

With a groan she lifted herself from the bed, sitting on her elbows she opened her mouth, her jaw did hurt and a cracking sound made her grunt.

"Great. And I thought I will be rich." She said scoffing and trying to remember the last thing that happened.

Getting rid of the blankets she pushed herself to her feet, no more pain except her muscles were asleep, a dizziness suddenly appeared but she blinked it away.

Zaria was in nothing but in a loose white shirt and some shorts, "oh shit, who the fuck-" the door suddenly opened and Nina appeared.

"OH MY GOD!" she screamed running towards Zaria and wrapping her arms tightly around the girl's waist.

Zaria almost collapsed at how fast the heartrender ran but smiled, she wrapped her arms around the girl as tightly, "SAINTS!" Tears covered Nina's beautiful green eyes as she stared down at the girl.

Cupping her cheek and checking if this wasn't a dream, Nina's grin grew, Zaria was glad to see Nina on her feet, "you are standing!" Exclaimed the zemeni girl as excited.

"You are alive!"

Zaria smile turned into a teasing one, "I am alive and breathing well, darling." Nina melted and pulled her into a bone crushing hug.

"We thought you were going to die..." whispered Nina into the girl's ear, Zaria's eyebrows furrowed once again, "oh yeah?" She asked earning a nod from the girl.

Nina pulled away and kissed both Zaria's cheeks making her turn red and smile like an idiot.

She kissed the heartrender's cheeks as well that immediately warmed, "it's so good to see you, angel." She placed a kiss to the side of Nina's head.

"Do you feel any pain?" Asked Nina with red cheeks the Squaller who nodded feeling pain now that she's up but it wasn't as crazy as few days ago.

"I do, but it's not that crazy, don't worry. Do you?" Nina nodded and both the girls sighed and took a seat on the chairs, "aren't you supposed to be married to Mister Helvar and rich?" Asked Zaria throwing her head back.

"Well, if i get married to Matthias you have to be awake and at my wedding." Replied Nina winking at the girl, "oh yeah?" Replied Zaria smiling sweetly at the green eyed beauty.

"Mhm, and about being rich..." she trailed off grimacing, "shit went down," Zaria fixed her posture and frowned at Nina's words.

"Inej got kidnapped."

Zaria almost fell to the ground in shock, her eyes wide and eyes flashing with anger, "wait what?!" She exclaimed hand flying to her mouth.

"Van Eck took her." Nina replied with the same eyes burning with a green fire, "shit. Shit. Shit." Exclaimed Zaria pacing around.

Nina understood Zaria's reaction, she had the same one, but the Heartrender didn't dare to say a thing to Zaria about Jesper and Kaz arguments.

She couldn't.

"I'll be right back," Nina walked away leaving Zaria bite her nails and think of a way to get Inej back, her sister, she promised they would burn the Menagerie together.

While she was in her beauty sleep, Inej was taken, shit happened.

Zaria hated herself for that.

Then she remembered the soldiers collapsing row after row, it made her head ache, she let out a strangled groan.

But then Nina came back with black pants that had roses at the edges, white brand new shirt and a purple scarf with golden embroidery.

"The others will be back soon." Smiled Nina while placing the neatly folded clothes on the bed, Zaria smiled at the girl thankfully.

"Thank you, where are we anyways?"

"A tomb, we are wanted, they are looking for us everywhere." Replied Nina already missing her bed and the scent of warm waffles.

"Oh, damn." Said Zaria walking behind, Nina's eyes focused on the wall as she could hear shuffling behind her, "the shirt you are wearing is Kaz's, you know?" Her lips quirked upwards.

Zaria tensed at the memory of the bastard of the barrel and before she could even stop herself, she smiled, all her worry vanishing away for a second.

She lifted the shirt covering her nose with it and the scent of home immediately greeted her and made her warm.

The goosebumps from the cold air of Ketterdam disappeared and she felt her stomach do all kinds of flips.

She beamed like an idiot, Kaz Brekker gave her his shirt! Out of all, he gave her.

Fighting the urge to scream into the pillow she fixed the shirt, it smelled just like him, the expensive cologne, coffee, books, and tobacco.

Oh, Kaz.

Wearing the black pants and her precious boots on the corner, she wrapped the scar around her head, few strands of blaxk hair covering her eyes.

"Hey, can you braid my hair?" Asked Zaria while zipping up her boots, Nina beamed and nodded immediately, "of course, I can!"

Nina grabbed the ribbon and gestured for Zaria to come over, Zaria sat on the ground.

this moment reminded her so much of when her father used to do everything to braid her hair, it wasn't perfect but the girl didn't care, she went to the city without giving a single damn.

Nina went to grab a brush and started brushing the girl's inky hair, Zaria's vision was suddenky blurry but she blinked the tears away.

"You kept the shirt." Nina smiled, clearing her throat she spoke, "I did." The Heartrender could hear the girl's heart hammering against her chest.

"You should tell him," started the girl running her hand through the girl's damp hair (she washed it when changing her clothes)

"I can't..." she replied as her braid falls against her back, Nina watched her stare at the ground, "He...saints, he needs to find his wraith and I'm going back to Novyi Zem."

"But you should tell him, one day. He is in love with you as well." Zaria sighs and throws her head back into it landed on Nina's legs.

The girl's hand running through her raven hair, "Maybe one day." She replied sighing at the feeling of her friend's hand.

"He was miserable all the time, everytime someone mentions your name, he's mad, very mad. If only you seen him beside your bed staring at you like you are the most beautiful thing he ever seen— which you are."

Zaria blushed, she couldn't help it, heat rushed to her cheeks as she hid her smile.

"It's the same thing for you and Matthias." Replied Zaria standing up and giving a small smile to Nina, the girl smiled back, rosy cheeks.

"Yeah well..." Zaria chuckled at how adorable the Grisha looked with pink cheeks and eyes twinkling, "I'm heading to town."

Worry took over, "are you sure- Kaz would kill me-" the Squaller rolled her eyes, "I doubt that, you'll kill him first besides I'll be back before they even get here, I promise."

Nina knew Zaria will never give up, so she nodded, standing up.

"Be safe."

"You be safe." She snapped back before wrapping her arms around Nina's waist, so carefully, the girl placed her chin on top of her head.

With that Zaria walked away, taking her precious daggers and making her way towards the streets of Ketterdam.

Every wall in Ketterdam had their posters on it with a sum of money, she and Inej had the same sum, 1 Million kruge.

Zaria mostly went from roof to another listening to conversations and keeping an eye out, shd tried to find at least some useful information about Inej, but nothing.

The church was the only place she didn't visit in entire Ketterdam, it was night, surely no one is there at this time.

Making her way towards it she stepped in, steps so quiet like a feather landing on the floor despite wearing black boots.

The place was beautiful, Sankta Alina, Sankt Fedyor?? Every saint was painted with their symbols, mostly the Sun Summoner.

Zaria took a seat on the brown bleachers, scarf still covering her face as she fixed it, the strands that were on her cheekbones were tugged behind her ear and the black haired girl moved closer.

She hoped no one will see her.

Zaria landed on her knees and stared at the saints, hands clasped together and scarf tugged under her chin.

The priest didn't expect anyone at the Church, no one cane really, well not this city, the city of sinners, rare people come and ask for forgiveness.

But yet at the sight of a teenager sitting at the ground and remembering her saints made his eyes lit up, "are you here to-" he started making his way towards the girl.

The kind smile vanished and was replaced by wide eyes and a scared feature.

Zaria Isla, the most wanted girl was staring back at him with dearly eyes, he gulped, his blood running cold.

"Oh my saints! Please, I am begging you, d-don't kill me!" He exclaimed, voice trembling in pure fear making the girl roll her eyes at the man.

"Father, I need you to sit down and let me finish my prayers, please." She said eyeing the chair beside her, the Priest didn't even move an inch, "Now." She ordered with a glare.

That was the only thing she needed to say before he went flying to the chair and sat down, legs trembling like a leaf.

Zaria fluttered her eyes shut, the mutlicolored glass reflecting in her caramel skin beautifully, making her champagne eyes look like they were multicolored since birth.

She was a beautiful young woman, a girl who has a future ahead of her but ignored it and decided to be part of the deadliest gang in Ketterdam, get her hands dirty.

"Tell me, father, will the saints forgive me?" No. He wanted to say but the girl was a teenager and he had a troublemaker child who was killed by one of Pekka Rollins men as well, Zaria was like his daughter (more unhinged)

"If you ask your saints for forgiveness and truly mean it, of course they will." Zaria turned to him, eyes glowing red, the poor priest almost poured holy water on her.

"I mean it!" She snarled, voice echoeing around the entire church, The priest raised his hands in surrender making her sigh.

The drug changed her completely, she gets mad and snaps out of nowhere, her heart racing and body aching for some more jurda but she fought it off.

"Sorry," she sighed, running her hand down her face to calm her temper, she let out a shaky breath, everything was raining down on her.

"I mean, I did some deep shit, I still fucking do. No matter how much I beg for forgiveness, I still do it in order to survive." She replied, not caring about the swear words and that it's a church.

The girl was suffering, he could see the pain and ache in her voice, the way it trembled as if she was holding back tears, but no, not even a single emotion except anger is seen.

she nodded, "the saints forgive, they do." he said moving around to light up the candles so the church isn't dark, surprisingly he was calm and could feel her eyes piercing his back.

"Tell me, Father.." she started after finishing her prayers and asking her saints for forgiveness, for every bad thing she's done and will do.

the clacking of her boots against the marble clean ground was like a song, she grabbed the candles placing them around, "Did you ever sin?" 

no one has ever asked him this question, and coming from a killer girl who can and probably will murder him in his own church surprised him, very.

he found himself staring at her in shock, Zaria looked at him and lit another candle, "I'll take that as a yes, everyone sinned at least twice in their life." she said.

Father moved to the collection of books, fixing one by one with each tale of all the saints, Sankta Alina of the shadow fold was the first then followed by Sankta Neyar.

"I did, indeed." 

he replied in a low voice, was he really having a conversation with the most wanted girl in Ketterdam about sins? yes, he was.

"Why?" she asked mind going back to Kaz Brekker and what his reaction would be like if he finds out she left, all the way from Black Veil to Ketterdam.

"I had a daughter, one of Pekka Rollins's men killed my daughter, and now his brother is looking for a way to kill me." Zaria felt her heart drop, poor man, his daughter died by that fucker and now his brother follows him.

"But, the saints will protect me!" Zaria rolled her eyes, she thought the same thing when her mother threatened her, yet she managed to get her hands on her, always, beating her until the ground was covered in blood.

She wouldn't have those angry scars on her back if the saints indeed kept her under their wing.

she's beginning to sound like Kaz Brekker, "Well, no offense, but that man doesn't care if it's a holy place or even a golden island for saint's sake, he will get his hands on you." she said making the man nod.

"I know, but I refuse to kill."

Zaria didn't argue back, she understood, she always did, letting out a small sigh she grabbed the papers scattered on the ground, "So what will you do? let him kill you?" 

"yes, at least I will reunite with my daughter," her heart dropped to her feet now, she said the same thing, the same thing came to mind when remembering her Appa.

"oh Father, please, you are the only priest in this city, do you really want to die between the hands of a filthy man who...killed your daughter, he's the one who did those cuts?" She asked after clearing her throat.

"Well, first, no one comes to this church, second, what can I do? The man comes over every day, and yes, he is the one." his face is covered in fresh bruises and Zaria had to do something.

"Well, I will come to this church even if my hands are dirty with blood, second, if you refuse to kill, let me do it for you, then you can peacefully visit your daughter's grave tomorrow with not a single new bruise on your face with her favorite flowers."

her words felt like a punch to the stomach, it was like she was giving him a choice, he hated the thought of someone dying because of him but this time, he nodded.

The Storm, the left hand of the bastard of the barrel was offering him a small gift, he has been looking for a way to avenge his daughter without killing someone for years, and now there was an idea.

"good. when does this man get here?" she asked taking a seat on the brown pew chair, the man scrunched his nose in fear at the thought of having blood and a body in his church.

"in a few minutes," he replied, eyes glued on the clock before he walked away, not bearing to see the light leave his eyes.

and sure enough, a man walked with a knife in his hand, "oh, hello kind sir did you come to pray for your saints?"

she greeted with a wicked grin turning towards the man who stopped at the sight of Zaria Isla sitting there.

"what are you- where is the priest?" he asked feeling his blood run cold, "I'm afraid he's not here," she replied standing up and making her way toward the man, he pointed his dagger at her making her stop, the grin not once leaving her lips.

"Pekka will be so happy to hear this," he said, and before he could make his way out she ran right after him, hand clasping his mouth and her own dagger going right to his heart from the back.

he wiggled, screaming in her hand before falling to the ground, blood gushing out of his heart and mouth red with blood, the sea was right in front of her. 

peeking out the dark streets hoping no one was there she grabbed him by the legs before dragging him down the road and pushing him into the water between boats.

with a grunt she got back up, her bloody dagger was on the ground, and the man's body disappeared underwater, dusting her hands off to get rid of the dirt she made her way back to the church.

the priest was hiding, she cleaned her dagger and not a drop of blood was in her clothes, she wanted Kaz's shirt to be clean, forever, only her hands were bloody.

"Hey! Can I have two of these?" she asked showing him the white handkerchiefs folded with a sun embroidered in gold, for Sankta Alina. 

the priest nodded not once daring to say a word, he knows she killed him, her hands were crimson red even if she washed them.

Wrapping her scarf around her head, hiding half her face again Zaria walked away, stopping for a second and peering over her shoulder, right into his soul.

"if you tell anyone about our little conversation or that I killed that man, I'll look for you, and I will find you. it's like our conversation never happened." she had the famous 'I will kill you' look on her face.

the multicolored glasses didn't reflect her face and make her look like a walking painting anymore, no, it was the red glass creating stripes over her skin making her eyes flash in a murderous way.

The priest nodded, he couldn't open his mouth, he didn't want to lose his tongue or an eye.

with that she disappeared into the night, he let out an exhale he was holding before staring at his hands which were trembling badly.

——♤——

Zaria visited the Slat, took her important things, and went back to Black Veil where Nina was probably waiting.

Once she passed beneath Havenbridge, she was relieved to find her surroundings becoming familiar again, this place wasn't as comfy as the Slat but hey, they got to stay low for a while.

she tipped her oars, steering them into the murky waters of Beggars' Bend, where the canal widened, and guided her into the shallows of Black Veil Island.

tucking the small boat behind the drooping limbs of a white willow, she picked her way up through the graves that dotted the steep bank.

taking a deep breath she tugged her scarf down, she didn't like this place, it reminded her of that forest so much.

Black Veil was a dreadful place, a miniature city of white marble mausoleums, many carved into the shape of ships, their stone figureheads weeping as they cut across an invisible sea.

'I hate this place.' she thought scrunching her nose in annoyance. 'I despise it' she thought once again, but she could acknowledge it had served them well.

Taking over a vast tomb at the island's center as their hideout, the rumors of hauntings kept squatters at bay, and the mist that surrounded the twisting willows and stone masts of the graves obscured the occasional lantern light.

Of course, none of that would matter if people heard Nina and Jesper arguing at the top of their lungs, so Nina got here before all of them.

Zaria rolled her eyes but could feel her heart about to jump out in joy, 

she leaned against the wall, watching the scene ahead of her.

Nina's irritated voice floated over the graves, "I don't think you're showing proper appreciation for what I just went through," Jesper was saying as he stomped through the cemetery like a child.

"You spent a night at the tables losing someone else's money," Nina shot back, "Isn't that essentially a holiday for you?" poor them still thought she was in a coma when she was watching them while holding back her laughter.

Kaz knocked his cane hard against a gravestone and they both went quiet, moving swiftly into fighting stances. 

they didn't notice her in the shadows, but Zaria could see Nina look around in search of the inky-haired girl, she was late.

Nina relaxed as soon as she caught sight of the three of them in the shadows, "Oh, it’s you." but the green eyes continued looking for Zaria.

"Yes, It's us," Kaz used his cane to herd them both toward the center of the island, "And you would have heard us if you hadn't been busy shouting at each other. Stop gawking like you've never seen a girl in a dress before, Matthias." Zaria bit her lip to hold back a smile.

that raspy voice, how she missed it.

"I wasn't gawking," Matthias said with as much dignity as he could muster. "Be quiet, Brekker," Nina said, "I like it when he gawks." Kaz scrunched his nose at the two.

Zaria appeared out of the shadows and crossed her arms in front of her chest, "I think you assholes owe me an explanation," she started making every turn around in shock, weapons at the ready.

"And yes, Matthias, you were gawking." he didn't fight back, instead his eyes were wide, "ZARIA!" Jesper screamed running towards her and picking her up.

he spin with her, laughing against her neck happily, Zaria was smiling brightly and holding his shoulders for dear's life, her eyes shut tightly so her head doesn't spin.

Nina was smiling confidently, Wylan's eyes were wide, so wide they were about to pop, Kuwei was just staring, and Matthias was surprised to see her alive and walking as if nothing happened.

Kaz on the other hand, was like a firecracker going off, his eyes were filled to the max with tenderness and relief, and he looked at her like he did to no one else, even money.

Something is rushing through his veins, something vivid, bright and yellow, oh he is so happy. His heart is hammering in his chest like it never did before.

He was really fighting off the urge to just wrap his arms around the girl and squeeze her hard, feel her warmth and just melts into her arms in relief.

Wylan was very surprised that she recognized him even if he looked like Kuwei.

She caught his eyes, smiling softly at the boy, "oh, Wylan." She greeted opening her arms and wrapping them around the boy's neck.

Her cheek pressed against his as she kissed the side of his head, "how did you-" he started fighting the wide smile, "your ears go red when you are happy." She replied and Wylan grinned like an idiot at that.

His sister was back, they just need Inej.

"It's good to see you," he whispered wrapping his arms around her waist tighter, eyes catching Jesper's who was watching them lovingly.

Watching him lovingly.

A smirk on the boy's lips making poor Wylan redden even more and hide his flushed face on the girl's neck.

Matthias gave her a nod, full of respect, "it's good to see you, Tulip," she punched his shoulder playfully with a small smile, Matthias rolled his eyes jokingly.

He looked at Nina, who nodded at him with the most flattering grin, he wrapped an awkward hand around the girl's shoulder before pulling her into a small 4 seconds hug.

Zaria was caught of guards, she never expected big brooding yellow Tulip, Matthias Helvar, would ever hug her.

Zaria wrapped an arm around his waist, this man was tall, very tall, and she looked like his and Nina's child, her head pressed at the center.

"It's very good to see you, as well," he replied pulling away, this wasn't very awkward, it was nice.

And lastly, Kaz Brekker, he noticed his shirt, perfect around her, oh saints she looked so perfect.

And he, he looked exhausted but once they made eye contact it's like his whole world lit up, that everything worked out just fine.

She stood in front of him, a smile on her lips, and Kaz was so mesmerized, he never prayed nor believed in the saints but now:

He was praying to every saint, thanking them for bringing her back.

She didn't give up, for him, she fought the drug and came back to him like she always did, like she promised she would.

Their fingers intertwined, until they are 100 years old.

Kaz Brekker got the urge to just cup her cheek and shower her face with kisses, cheeks, forehead, nose, every scar, especially her lips, those soft pink lips that looked so welcoming.

And Zaria wanted to wrap her arms around him, so tight, hug him forever and never let go.

But she couldn't, well, not in front of everyone.

"Hi." She managed to whisper, her whole body burning and she stared at him, he is the most beautiful thing she ever saw.

And the drug made it look like he was sparkling, like his whole body was covered in glitters.

The brown in his eyes made her melt, and she swore she could hear his heart beat and watched his adam apple bop up and down.

Letting out a shaky breath that only she heard, he opened his mouth, "hello." He replied trying to keep his tone serious.

She didn't know what to say else, "it's good to see you, back to m- us." He said after opening his mouth and closing it like a fish.

Back to me. He thought.

Zaria chewed on her lip pushing on the balls of her feet from left to right, she pushed the strand of black hair behind her ears nervously.

Looking down to her shoes, she was staring at him, 'oh my god Zaria why are you so awkward?!' She thought glancing to look at Nina for help.

The heartrender nodded showing her a thumbs up, "you are doing okay!" She mouthed making Zaria nod and look back at Kaz.

"Uhm.." she started, "thanks, it's good to see you as well," NO. OH MY GOD ZARIA.

Wincing at the awkwardness she looked down, wanting to just turn around and let Pekka Rollins capture her and kill her.

Why is she so nervous? She is usually the one to flirt and make the person frustrated, yet now, she's the one who's blushing like a child around their crush.

What the fuck?

Why would you say that- now he's gonna think I'm fucking weird and-

His gloved hand was in front of her, she stared at it, before back up to his eyes, Kaz's serious face was back and that crooked smile on her kissable lips.

She felt exposed, she could see his eyes tremble a little bit, hesitating at first she reached over, to place hers in his.

Warmth and sense of comfort exploded in both their bodies and the teenagers shook hands, Kaz's thumb running over hers making her look up.

"I'm very glad you are back to me." He managed to whisper again once the Crows started talking about the mission.

Nina keeping an eye on them with a wicked smirk.

"Of course, I will always come back to you." She replied watching him drop his head, his black hair falling in front of his forehead.

Kaz's smile turned into a soft one, fighting his tremors, he tugged her towards him making the girl gasp and place her hand right on his waist.

"Oh shit." She swore pulling away her hand immediately, Kaz gulped.

Looking to the side, he stepped closer, his head dropping lower and Zaria's breathe hitched, her hand dropped to hold his sleeve

And she could feel his cool breath against her hair making shivers run down her back, lips brushed delicately against the side of her head making her close her eyes and take a deep breath.

A shaky breath left her lips as soon as his lips pressed on her temple, easing her hammering heart.

She smiled, so brightly.

He was fighting his fear the same way she did with the drug, just for her, as a pay back and Zaria was very happy.