Chapter 41: Angel

——♤——

"If I were a Suli seer," started Inej, "I could look into the future and tell you it will be all right."

"Or that I'm going to die in agony," Nina pressed her cheek against the top of Zaria's head earning a small sigh.

"Tell us something good anyway."

"It will be all right," Inej said, "You'll survive this. And then you're going to be very, very rich. You'll sing sea shanties and drinking songs nightly in an East Stave cabaret, and you'll bribe everyone to give you standing ovations after every song, you will live with Big Tulip and have little you running around” Nina laughed softly.

"And Zaria you will be very rich as well, probably even have your own mansion in Novyi Zem, you will marry Kaz, become the queen of the barrel and wear nothimg but silks and ruby." The girl closed her eyes happily at the dream

"Let's buy the Menagerie!" Suggested the raven haired girl grunning like an idiot, "since I will be the queen of Ketterdam anyways,"

Inej grinned at that, thinking of the future and her little ship, "Let's buy it and burn it down." Exclaimed Inej nodding, "yes ma'am! Burn that bitch even."

Chuckling together like maniacs at the thought of burning the Menagerie they watched the waves for a while.

"Ready?" Nina asked.

Inej was glad she hadn't had to ask. She pushed up her sleeve, baring the peacock feather and mottled skin beneath it.

It took the barest second, the softest brush of Nina’s fingertips. The itch was acute but passed quickly.

When the prickling faded, the skin of Inej's forearm was perfect—almost too smooth and flawless, like it was the one new part of her.

Inej touched the soft skin. Just like that it was done. If only every wound could be banished so easily.

Nina kissed Inej's cheek and then Zaria's, "I'm going to find Matthias before things get bad, Zaria, Kaz is calling." She turned around in search of Kaz Brekker immediately.

She followed where he disappeared, he didn't call her, Nina did it on purpose so she follows him and they can talk this out.

"You wanted to see me?" Kaz was looking for something and once seeing the girl stand in the doorway he got up.

"No, I don't." He replied coldly not even looking at her, making her frown, Nina had Matthias if something bad happened, and Zaria wanted nothing but for him to glance at her, why was he distant all of a sudden.

"Move." He tried to brush past her but she moved to stand in front of him.

He had a heavy coat on and was leaning on his crow-head cane and Zaria felt relieved to see him back again, like he always was, he looked like himself once again.

Zaria almost sighed in relief, at least his leg will not ache.

With that black coat, cane, gloves and tricks up his leave, her Kaz was back.

Before he could move once again, she slammed the door shut and stood in front of it with crossed arms.

Kaz glared at her, eyes burning holes in her but the girl couldn't care less about his dirty look.

"Stop walking away from me." She spoke looking up at him, "get out of my way, Isla." Ouch. That felt like a punch to the guts.

Zaria frowned fighting off her dizziness and shook her head, taking a step back so her back pressed to the wall so he wouldn't get out and in tiredness.

Kaz let out a frustrated groan, "No." She snapped back shaking her head and thinking about what to say.

"Why are you distant all of a sudden, is if because of me touching you earlier? Is it because of the kiss on your hand?" It wasn't even a kiss, only a peck, she thought she was going to die, she had too.

"If so, I am so sorry, I really am with my entire heart, but please...Kaz, talk to me." She begged, her voice almost in a whisper and shaky the boy looked everywhere but her.

She hated how desperate she sounded, she fucked up didn't she, if it was because of the kiss, she would gladly cut off her lips.

"No." No? No what?! She had enough.

"why are you so mad? Is it because I could die? Is it because parem could kill me and you'd lose your best squaller?” she asked in anger.

Kaz looked at her, jaw clenched and fist tightening around the crow's head of his dear cane.

Kaz took a step towards her, she could feel the anger coming from him even if he didn't stand close to her at all.

"No. It's because I could lose you to this drug." He said, voice low and cold, the tone belonged to the bastard of the barrel, he pointed a gloved finger at her face.

Kaz ran a hand through his hair with a scoff, his voice lowered and she swore she could see that he was doing everything he can to be calm and not full on outburt.

"I don't..." he started licking his lips and thinking whether he should say it, "I don't want..." he trailed off again.

Feeling her eyes on him, studying him carefully and making him feel so hot, the next words left his lips without a thought.

"I don't want..to lose you." He resumed his words as if someone was stepping on his throat forcing him to let the words out.

Zaria froze, her anger vanishing and replaced with shock, she opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out.

Zaria moved away from the door and stared at him with wide eyes, Kaz looked at her face.

She opened her mouth again to say something but Kaz wasn't ready, he shook his head, "don't. Don't say anything."

And with that he walked away leaving her stand in silence, stare at the spot where he stood a second ago.

She turns around to call out for him, "Kaz!" but he already disappeared, the girl took a seat on the box and stared at her hands.

Overthinking what he meant by those words, there's possibly no way he just said that he don't want to lose her.

Was it because he cared? Kaz Brekker's heart softened and he finally cares for someone, or was it because she saved their lives and she is officially a crow?

——♤——

 Dawn was getting closer, Zaria was all alone for now, she knew in a matter of a few hours she will be in terrible pain yet here she is, thinking about the argument she had with Kaz earlier.

Matthias was with Nina and she was all alone, like she always was, staring at the night sky.

the headache grew, and all she wanted to do was to lay down and fall asleep but she didn't move, her world was spinning but she waited, she needed to talk to Kaz no matter what.

she needed to know what he meant by earlier, she saw him and Nina talking earlier, but not a glance was thrown toward her.

Wishing for a boy who doesn't believe in love, out of all the dumb things she's done in her entire 17 years of existence, this was probably the dumbest.

a person stood beside her, at first she thought it was just Jesper coming to check on her, but as soon as the familiar and comfortable scent of home surrounded her, she knew it was Kaz.

the headache vanished and her heart started hammering against her chest at an uncontrollable speed like it always did when she was with the bastard of the barrel.

"What did you say to Nina?" Zaria asked when he joined her at the rail, "I have a job I need her to perform." he was calm so calm, not the cold tone he gave her earlier.

"She's about to go through a terrifying ordeal-" he cut her off, "And work still needs to get done," he replied staring ahead, Zaria faced him letting out a scoff that caught his attention.

"And let me guess, you came to give me a job too even if I'm about to possibly die in the next few hours?" she asked, his hair was damp and fell in front of his eyes like a black ocean, piercing brown eyes meeting hers.

"you will not die," he warned her as if she could fight death hand by hand, "you will not die," he said again, this time mostly reassuring himself, Zaria shook her head.

"you can't escape death, Kaz, not even if you have every tool, infinite ammo, and daggers," she said and Kaz knew that but if he can escape death so can she.

she can't leave, she doesn't dare to.

They stood together, gazing out at the waves, silence stretching between them, "we're alive. We did an impossible heist, if I live so do you." he said at last.

"It seems you prayed to the right god."

"Or traveled with the right people." her eyes landed on his gloved hand, and he ran his gloved thumb over the rail nodding and narrowing his eyebrows until they almost touched.

"what will you do when we reach home?" he suddenly asked making her smile, home, Ketterdam was now her home.

Zaria chuckled looking down and playing with the thin ring, she had changed her clothes, she wore black high-waist pants and a white shirt, a black and navy blue coat wrapped around her shoulder that Inej bought, and her hair in a messy bun held by one of her daggers.

eve, she was slowly fading, even if her blood was flaming and the drug was taking control, she still had to look good, her outfits needed to look clean and fashionable.

The girl thought about what happened yesterday, for the entire fight she didn't think of one single thing, her mind just decided to shut down and the only word she knew at the moment was; murder.

she was so cold, she was so...unfamiliar, even she didn't know that she consumed this much power within, it felt like Satan was standing by her shoulder praising proudly and telling her to continue.

and not once did she stop, the sight of soldiers getting stabbed in the eyes and everywhere by glass and branches made her so.. satisfied.

when they trembled at the electricity rushing through their bodies wave after the other nonstop, when blood gushed out of the Squaller's lips as she pulled out the air from his lungs.

everything made her very delighted? was that even the right word? She felt the urge to continue get higher with each soldier dropping, the whispering of the devil getting louder and turning into sinister laughing.

like he was tapping her on the shoulder while shouting "Good job!" in her ear over and over again.

but now that the girl was thinking about it, she wanted to crawl, she felt so disgusted at herself, she felt sick, and she wanted to cry and beg the saints for forgiveness.

she wasn't Zaria anymore, she was a whole new person.

Kaz watched her, she was eerily silent, and it wasn't very usual of her to stay silent, ever since the drug she was zoning out with icy eyes, the same ones when she was killing those men.

but when she chuckled, his shoulders dropped in relief, "Well...I will take my money, get a few things my sister requested before my departure, buy a few clothes and souvenirs, then make my way to Ravka."

Kaz nodded, his heart did a wear thump at the last sentence that left her lips, "Ravka? So you are traveling with Inej on the same ship." she nodded with a small smile.

"she told you?" Kaz nodded, Inej had told him about her ship and they both had a conversation about her as well, "well, perhaps, maybe I want to stay in Ketterdam for another 2 weeks and then travel."

"to see your family?" he asked, now fully facing her, the moonlight kissed her skin and it reminded him so much of those caramel candies his brother used to steal.

"Yeah, well, I will probably go visit my sister at the Little Palace, and see if stepmother would like to stay with her sister, if yes, then I will go back to Novyi Zem alone."

She watched the sea shift and sigh, each wave a breath. She could just make out the horizon, the barest difference between the black sky and the blacker sea.

she wanted Kaz to say something, she waited for him to tell her to stay with him, to not leave him. but nothing came out.

Zaria shook her head for thinking such a thing, clearing her throat she turned towards the boy, catching Kaz's eyes, he was studying her and she noticed.

"let's stop with me, what about you Kaz? Where are your mother and father? a sister or a brother perhaps." Kaz never told her about his past the entire year, not a single word or hint.

"Barrel boys don't have parents. We're born in the harbor and crawl out of the canals." Zaria sighed and turned back around, "It feels like I'm talking to an author, saints, why must you make everything so..." she trailed off.

her cheeks flushed in embarrassment, "Whatever the word is." she resumed her words looking everywhere but him, Kaz scoffed making her turn to look at the pretty boy.

there was that smile she loved, a smirky kind of smile, the corner of his lips lifted, and then the other, his coffee eyes turned into chocolate colored ones, they sparkled, like the galaxy.

and Zaria didn't fight back, she grinned widely and turned so she was fully looking at him, her legs weakened and she almost collapsed if it wasn't for the railing.

"Oh?" she managed, and the bastard of the barrel could see her rosy cheeks this time, not only her cheeks but her ears along, Kaz turned around to face her as well, his soft smile turning into a crooked one.

"so you making fun of me makes you smile?" she placed her hands on her hips with a raised eyebrow, yet he could see how hard she fought to beam again.

Kaz raised his chin and looked down, the famous cocky smile never leaving his lips but this one was more teasing than wicked way, "kind of." he replied.

she smiled, the whole world exploding happily along with his little black heart, her smile made his cold heart melt, nothing mattered only them.

"you know what?" she asked making him tilt his head teasingly, "what?" he asked, "I'll let it slide." she said watching as his features turned into a confused one, "oh yeah? why is that?"

he expected her to threaten him or tell him that they did this heist because of his genius plans, but no, instead...

"because you have a very pretty smile and I want to see it more." fuck. great. this girl will always make his heart melt even more and find a way to slither her way in, won't she?

Kaz's Adam apple bobbed up and down, his stomach flipped in thrill and flattery, "you have a prettier one." Zaria was already blushing and him saying that made her almost faint.

"right...thank you, kind sir." she tilted her head smiling at him, that charming smile he adored, the one that made her eyes disappear and twinkle.

Kaz watched the girl lovely, the breeze made the black strands cover her face before she could push the one bothering her, Kaz moved.

he grabbed the strand and pushed it behind her ear so he stares deeper into her eyes, Zaria froze, eyes never leaving his as she fought the urge to lean against his warm gloved hand.

his hand was under her chin pushing her head up so they never look away from one another.

Zaria's breath hitched, she did a trick that always seemed to work on other people, let's see if Kaz Brekker will manage to break away after.

she looked at his left eye for a second, then she switched her gaze to his lips for 3 seconds, no more, finally, she looked to his right eye, a triangle shape.

her grip around the railing tightened and Kaz around his cane, the boy was lost in her eyes, and if it wasn't the thunder on top of them snapping them out of thoughts, they would never pull away.

they stared at the sea ahead a thousand times today, Zaria was trying to find a way to spend more time and not just stare at mother nature in silence.

sure, she enjoyed it with Kaz, but if she was going to be in pain and rest for the rest of the trip might as well do something that might smooth the pain down and she can remember until her last day on earth.

"a beard is starting to show," she spoke smiling at Kaz, the bastard of the barrel shaves possibly every night when washing his hands and hair, and the past week he didn't have time to take care of himself.

he wouldn't call it a beard, the few hairs on his chin and jaw are barely visible unless you stand close to him.

"I was planning to shave tomorrow." Zaria narrowed her eyes at him, she liked him in every way and the facial hair looked good either way
 why was he planning to shave?

"I like it, but do as you wish." Kaz Brekker didn't say a thing instead thought about his Crow club, destroying Pekka Rollins, and bringing his brother justice.

Zaria chewed on her lip, why would she say her opinion, Kaz never wanted one, and now she regrets even saying a word and wants to jump off the ship.

"do you have the tools?" she asked playing with her ring, a habit she always did when nervous, "I do, they're in my room" Kaz Brekker bought his shaving tools, that sentence never existed until now.

she nodded eyes suddenly letting up, "We should try something." before he could say anything, her finger hooked around the pocket of his black coat as she pulled him towards his room.

opening the door to the small wooden room she took off her coat placing it on the chair, Kaz watched her with a frown, she grabbed the tools and placed them on the table beside the sink.

the boy was frozen, standing there still in his coat and watching her move around like it was her room.

before he could say something, she turned around innocently, ignoring his scheming scowl, and gestured for him to come over.

"Kaz, darling, if you want to win your money and be rich, you need to look presentable, and besides you said you wanted to shave tomorrow, guess no." She said showing him the shaving tools and cream with a wicked grin.

he took off his coat, and while Zaria's back was to him he hurriedly took off his gloves and ran a wet hand through his hair, like he always did.

He dried his hand and slipped his hand back into their home, the black leather covering and shielding him from the world.

Zaria turned around, Kaz was silent not bothering to fight back and leaned against the sink watching her with tired eyes, drops of water from his hair raced down his neck, disappearing under the white shirt.

Zaria moved towards him, stopping in front of him and looking deep into his eyes reassuringly, "I promise not to touch you." she spoke softly, "and if I do, I'll leave you the green card to cut off my hands."

she chuckled gulping and stepping a little closer, "I would never do that." he said tensing at the cool feeling of the shaving cream on his skin.

Zaria focused on her task, carefully holding the brush and doing everything she can to not touch his face as promised, "even if I steal your money perhaps?" she asked eyes not once meeting his.

Kaz watched her work with an amused look, "you would never." he said and that made her stop and look at him with her eyebrows furrowed.

"oh yes, I would. you don't know what I'm capable of, Kaz." she whispered taking a deep breath, "I mean..I would if I wanted to and didn't care about you or the crows." she cleared her throat doing everything she can to forget about her swallowing the jurda parem.

Kaz lifted his head so she continues, his demons weren't as crazy as before, in fact, they weren't very present, she wasn't touching him at all and neither was he.

so it was all good.

Kaz knew indeed what she was capable of, after taking the jurda parem, he knew to never mess with her especially since the drug is still rushing through her veins.

but now he knew that this girl can destroy an entire city if wanted and so can Nina Zenik.

"I don't know what you're capable of fully, but I know you and I know that you are a crow and my Storm, that's all," he said once she suddenly walked away from him, leaving him covered in shaving cream.

Zaria froze, taking in a deep breath she grabbed the towel and placed it over her shoulder turning to look at the boy, "That's funny, Kaz Brekker doesn't know much about me? hm, interesting."

she said making her way back to the boy, "Well, let me tell you. In a relationship, for example, I can be overprotective." She said pointing the razor at him, Kaz stood in front of her, leaning against the sink to put some space between them.

"Especially when it comes to the person I love." she rolled up her sleeves and started shaving, ignoring Kaz's burning eyes on hers, following every move she did, memorizing the way she bit her lip when concentrating.

"And when I am jealous..." Zaria continued her words looking up at him, "I can do very bad things as you have already seen.." her voice lowered into a whisper.

She moved the straight razor close to his throat, inches away from his Adam's apple that bobbed up and down, Kaz stepped back so she wouldn't cut him.

Eyes never leaving one another's as she cocked her head in a challenging way, Kaz could feel his body warm up, the room getting hotter by the second.

She ran her tongue over her lower lip showing him that beautiful wicked grin that didn't reach her eyes, she pushed herself off, and not even once did her skin brush against his.

not until he wants her too

"Yes ma'am." How he hated the way he let out those words, his tone was slightly shaky that only he can hear, but Zaria did also.

Those 2 words made her weak and caught her off guard, he had that teasing look he always placed when he was about to do something that will make her fragile.

But oh saints she loved when he played along.

Kaz fixed his posture, standing straighter and smirking down at her, this time, he was the one playing the game, she was the one feeling what he felt a second ago

Pushing herself off and continuing to shave him as if nothing happened, she cleared her throat, cheeks rosy as she focused back on her duty instead of the way he was towering over her now.

He was doing it on purpose so she will have to look up and meet his eyes, this man loved to play games.

"Good..." she whispered hating how soft and shaky she sounded at the moment, This cocky bastard. "tell me more."

"Oh yeah?" She asked finally gathering the courage and glancing up at him, those coffee eyes, her home.

"Mhm." And that, made her stop her movement, her legs were going to give up any minute by now.

"how about..no."

"No?" he said tilting his head down at her, she nodded reaching to touch his jaw but stopping her movement after remembering the deal she made with him before starting all this.

"no." she replied gesturing for him to turn his head to the left, "You know most things about me, and I know nothing about you. And, you didn't answer my question."

"I did."

"Silence is the answer? fine, if you don't want to answer that question then this, why do you hate Pekka Rollins so much?" Kaz could feel molten anger rushing through his veins almost immediately.

he stayed silent, and as she opened her mouth to say something he spoke, "I had a brother." her heart dropped to her stomach, the blade stopped moving and the cool metal left his jaw.

He didn't have to see Zaria's face to sense her shock, "You had a brother?" she asked and Kaz found himself avoiding her eyes, "I had a lot of things," he muttered. 

She wanted to reach over and cup his cheeks, kiss his lips to tell him that they will destroy him, "I'm sorry- saints, Kaz I am so sorry." she whispered mentally punching herself.

Had he wanted her sympathy? Was that why he’d told her? 

"Kaz-" She hesitated. What would she do now? Try to lay a comforting hand on his arm? Tell him she understood? 

she stayed silent, picking up the razor and continuing to shave the rest of his face, "I don't want your prayers nor apologies," he said jaw clenching.

"What do you want, then?" The old answers came easily to mind. Money. Vengeance. Jordie’s voice in my head silenced forever. But a different reply roared to life inside him, loud, insistent, and unwelcome.

You. I want you.

He shrugged and turned his head to the right, "To die buried under the weight of my own gold." that made the raven-haired girl sigh, "Then I'll pray you get all you ask for."

"more prayers?"

"yes." Kaz not once dared to look at her and Zaria was trying so hard to find a comforting word, "I know you don't want to hear this now, but you have me. I will forever be by your side and I understand."

she spoke and it felt like she was hugging him and running her hand through his hair at the moment, "you understand?" she nodded.

"very much, we will destroy him, Kaz. The Barrel doesn't belong to kings. It belongs to bastards." she said and Kaz loved it when she quote him.

"damn right, I like it when you quote me." Zaria rolled her eyes and pulled away, "Well, I'm learning from the best." with that she wiped away the small spots left of the shaving foam.

she grinned proudly at her work, not leaving one spot or scratch, perfectly shaved as if he went to a barber, all that without touching him which was very impressive.

"look at you, looking very handsome." she tapped both her shoulders with a raised chin before handing him the towel, putting the brush away, and the razor.

Kaz turned around to face the mirror, taping his skin while nodding in approvement, "Not bad, not bad at all." that made her nod and move around with her chin high in the air and ego to the roof.

"I know."

drying her hands after washing the bowl and razor she walked towards the chair in front of the table, silence fell, Kaz Brekker was fixing his white shirt as she took a seat.

staring at the table in front of her and looking for courage, she spoke, "Hey, can I stay for a bit?" Kaz glanced at her, she sat on the chair in front of his desk like she always did back in Ketterdam.

The boy frowned and nodded, "You never ask me, what's wrong today? Are you okay?" Zaria looks around and grabs the closest thing, a pen, and throws it at him.

Kaz hid his smile and dodged the pen as if it was nothing before taking a seat on the chair in front of her, Zaria didn't know how to tell him that she wasn't, that her body burned and itched.

She pushed her knees closer to her chest and stared at the desk, Kaz noticed it, she was thinking about something, and Kaz wanted to know the thing bothering her mind.

"what's going on in that mind of yours?" he asked fixing his desk, "nothing.." she replied but her voice betrayed her, it sounded like she was scared.

Kaz quirked his eyebrows, gloved hand resting on the table as he watched her get up, she moved the chair closer to him before sitting back.

"Okay...I took too much of the drug, I didn't use my powers for a while, and now it's taking full control of my body and I'm..scared," she spoke truthfully.

Kaz was never good at comforting someone, "how is it controlling your body?" he asked pushing his hair closer and crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"my body is currently burning, I can hear your heart beating for saint's sake Kaz, my skin is itching, I can still taste the drug no matter how much I wash my teeth, I hear voices...I don't know what to do."

she threw her head back with an exhausted sigh, bobbing her head as if there was music playing but nothing, "music is playing in your head?" she nodded looking at him for a brief second.

"This is so embarrassing," she said throwing her head back again and covering it with her hand, a chuckle left her lips but it was muffled, and her shoulders shook as she laughed.

Kaz tilted his head watching her, "It was very stupid of you to take the jurda, yes, but it's not embarrassing." he said and her silk white shirt slipped revealing the black strap and her caramel soft skin when she moved.

Rubbing her face to get rid of the sudden dizziness, she fluttered her eyes shut Kaz noticed, the drug was really controlling her and made her want to go unconscious.

"Hey, Zaria." worry could be heard in his tone but he stayed serious, "Stay awake, darling. Don't slip away." his mind went back to when she was bleeding in his arms.

why must this girl slip away every time?

Zaria didn't respond, the sudden painful feeling turned euphoric and Kaz's voice was muffled in the background as if she was underwater.

Kaz got up, grabbed Zaria's sleeve, and placed a gloved hand under her cheek pulling her back before she falls.

The water immediately appeared and started to make its way to his mouth just like 12 hours ago, his Zaria was slipping away because of a drug, he needed to take care of her first.

Kaz's muscles tensed as soon as his hand landed on her cheek, she was warm, way too warm, with a deep inhale and exhale he kneeled down in front of the girl who had not once opened her eyes.

his leg stopped moving and the pain suddenly sped up making him shut his eyes tightly, clenching his jaw he let out a groan.

turning to Zaria's chair he tapped her cheek with his left gloved hand, Zaria leaned against his palm with eyes shut, she was full-on sick right now.

"Isla, wake up." she didn't, the girl was burning, "Zaria, wake up, angel." he slapped her cheek ever so gently, his gloved thumb running up and down soothingly so she opens her eyes.

Zaria did after a minute, her eyes were tired and almost invisible, they met his brown comforting ones since he was still on the ground, "hey.." she greeted groggily.

"hey angel, I need you to get up for me, you need to rest."

Zaria was adorable when asleep, her lips were pouted and her eyebrows were furrowed at the same time, she squinted down at him to understand what he was saying.

his voice sounded like music, she tilted her head at him eyes dropping to his lips to understand what he was saying, "You need to rest." her lips parted and she nodded lazily.

Kaz's hand dropped from her cheek as he got up, fighting the groan about to leave his lips, he pushed himself away to let her move.

Zaria still half asleep and fighting the urge to just faint, right here, right then held on the desk so tightly that her hand almost broke.

the entire world spun as her body rocked left and right, Kaz grabbed her coat and placed it on her shoulders so carefully, he grabbed his cane and made his way back to the girl who almost fell.

"saints," she spoke gasping for air, a hand was suddenly in the middle of her back supporting her, a strong hand, she looked to her left, Kaz Brekker was fighting his demons for her.

She smiled, a tired smile as he helped her move without tripping on her own feet, "your room is very warm, you should have let me sleep there." she teased giggling like a child.

"maybe next time, angel." The nickname made her smile even more brilliantly, it bought color to his black world, it made his demons vanish, and it made him happy.

"call me that again, please~" she was high, the drug fully took control of her mind and made her feel euphoric instead of in pain, Kaz looked at her.

galaxies formed into her eyes and he knew that currently, she was feeling things no one felt in a while, if only he took the jurda, to feel euphoria and pain with her as well, together.

he did, "angel.." and that made her bury her burning face in her hands, she laughed happily and Kaz this time didn't fight his smile, he watched her in pure awe.

"oh shit," she exclaimed laughing and looking at him as if he was the most beautiful thing she ever saw in her entire 17 years of existence.

her eyes were tired but in the shape of hearts, he opened the door to her room and walked in, her peachy sent greeted him immediately and Kaz relaxed.

He helped her and before Zaria could throw herself on the bed, Kaz's hand landed on her shoulder, "wait." he stood behind her and Zaria's eyes fluttered shut, he moved the dagger out of her black locks and her hair fell in his hand like an inky ocean if that even exists.

he placed the dagger carefully on the table before taking off the coat wrapped around her shoulder, he helped her sit and that's when he noticed the tiredness taking over.

"It's okay, I'll do it." she whispered noticing his trembling hands, Kaz nodded loving how even though she was at the urge of fainting, she still cared and respected his boundaries.

she got rid of her boots, her arms were numb and she couldn't get up to change into something more comfortable, throwing her head on the soft pillow she sighed.

"do you need something?" he asked towering over her figure, she started falling asleep, "no, thank you, my love." she whispered closing her eyes and reaching lazily, hooking her pinky finger with his gloved one.

"of course, angel," he whispered wanting to place a kiss on her forehead, giving a smile that made her nose scrunch as she let the sleep consume her.

Snuggling more on the pillow and her finger slipping from his and landing on the ground, Kaz smiled lovingly and lifted her hand placing it beside her.

he lifted the cover and carefully placed it on top of her, she was asleep, and Kaz found himself reaching over and placing the back of his hand on her forehead.

she was burning, she had a fever.

Kaz sighed and put his hand away, he looked around before grabbing the bowl and filling it with water, taking off his gloves, he soaked the small towel in the tepid water before placing it on her forehead without touching her.

he grabbed the couch and pushed it closer to her bed, taking a seat with a huff Kaz grabbed his gloves and slipped his hand in.

Zaria lay unmoving, her chest went up and down as barely noticeable snorts left her nose, her hair spread all over the pillow covering it, and the boy didn't think twice before staying with her for the night.

The crows had never seen him like that, when one of them fell sick he didn't give much of a reaction but deep down he did care terribly for them.

and his love has a fever, of course, he was going to stay by her side until they reach Ketterdam

——♤——

Hello again, Kaz and Zaria own me. Caring!Kaz<3 Zaria being in love.

HIM CALLING HER ANGEL AND HER MY LOVE. I AM NOT OKAY.

And if I don't upload the next few days it is bc my mother decided to get rid of the internet as a punishement bc I get angry easily.

How can I not? When she talks shit about me to her family.

But YEAH! HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS CHAPTER<3

And i'm sorry