Chapter 40: Row after row.

——♤——

Zaria was so happy and saints that she can't wait to tell Kaz everything and even kiss him in relief.

The cold breeze of Fjerda slapped her cheeks and made them red, she had chills and the dress didn't provide any warmth.

but even if Fjerda's cold weather was making her hands ache, she felt happy, very happy that they finished an impossible heist and made out together; as a family.

They’d got further than any crew. They'd blown up a building at the heart of the Ice Court. But they'd never make it to the harbor without Zaria, Inej, and the others.

Nina kept moving. The only other option was to sit down on a boulder and wait for the end. 

A rumbling began from somewhere in the direction of the Ice Court followed by a howling, "Wolves aren't very far." Matthias's eyes lit up at the thought of wolves being close to them, no, it was just a happy Zaria.

"Oh, Saints, please let that be Jesper," pleaded the heartrender as they pulled themselves over the lip of the gorge and looked back at the bridge festooned with ribbons and ash boughs for Hringkälla.

"Whatever is coming, it’s big," said Matthias. 

"What do we do, Kaz?"

"Wait," he replied as the sound grew louder, Nina was bouncing nervously from foot to foot, "How about 'take cover'?" she asked in worry that the Fjerdans found them, "'Have heart'? 'I stashed twenty rifles in this convenient shrubbery'? Give us something." she pleaded the bastard of the barrel.

"How about a few million kruge?" said Kaz making the girl fight the urge to just kill him, A tank rumbled over the hill, dust, and gravel spewing from its treads. 

Someone was waving to them from its gun turret, no, three someones. Inej, Wylan, and Zaria were yelling and gesturing wildly from behind the dome.

and at that moment, seeing the girl yelling and gesturing wildly with the others yet safe and sound, made Kaz's shoulders drop in pure relief, his eyes lit up, and this time...he smiled.

Nina let out a victorious whoop as Matthias stared in disbelief. When Nina looked at Kaz, she couldn’t quite believe her eyes. 

"Saints, Kaz, you actually look happy."

"Don’t be ridiculous," he snapped. But there was no mistaking it. Kaz Brekker was happy, in fact, he was grinning like an idiot, seeing his girl on a tank laughing and shouting, his crows with a war machine.

Kaz Brekker could feel his cheeks reddening in happiness, but he will never admit that it was because of the Raven-haired girl from afar and Wylan and Inej looking like tiny fairies.

"I'm assuming we know them?" asked Kuwei narrowing his eyebrows until they almost touched. 

Nina's elation dimmed as Fjerda's answer to the problem of the Dregs rolled over the horizon. A column of tanks had crested the hill and was crashing down the moonlit road, dust rising in plumes from their treads.

It wasn’t until Inej, Zaria, and Wylan were thundering over the trestles of the bridge that Nina could make out what they were yelling: "Get out of the way!"

followed by a loud "for fuck's sake!" from Zaria that echoed around the whole city probably, they leaped from the path as the tank roared past them, then came to a gear-grinding stop.

"We have a tank," admired Nina green eyes wide and sparkling happily, "Kaz, you creepy little genius, the plan worked. You got us a tank," she exclaimed not noticing Matthias's blue eyes landing on her, a small smile on his lips.

"They got us a tank," replied Kaz feeling more proud than ever, Matthias was way too busy admiring his lover and fighting the urge to kiss Nina that he had to pinch himself to look away.

"We have one," Matthias said looking away from Nina, then pointed at the horde of metal and smoke bearing down on them, "They have a lot more."

"Yeah, but you know what they don’t have?" Kaz asked as Jesper rotated the tank's giant gun and Zaria the smaller one, "A bridge."

he should send the zemeni girl and Sharpshooter more on heists together because they looked like partners in crime, rotating tank guns and getting ready to shoot together.

A metallic shriek went up from the armored insides of the tank. Then a violent, bone-shaking boom sounded. Nina heard a high whistling as something shot through the air past them and collided with the bridge

The first two trestles exploded into flame, sparks, and timber plummeting into the gorge below. Zaria turned the gun with all her force and with that both the guns fired again, together.

With a groan, the trestles collapsed completely, now if the Fjerdans wanted to cross the gorge, they were going to have to fly which is impossible.

"We have a tank and a moat," said Nina with a smile, "Climb on!" crowed Wylan, Inej helped Matthias and Nina, but there wasn't a spot anymore.

"hey dirtyhands!" called Zaria from on top leaning against the gun with a beautiful cheeky smile, "there's a spot beside me, darling, or are you afraid?" she gestured to the empty spot beside her.

Kaz rolled his eyes and moved to the other side, her hand was suddenly in front of him, Kaz looked up and could feel his breath hitch.

she was wearing a black and red silk dress that showed her curves, a golden necklace and earrings, a bracelet wrapped around her ankle, and lastly a snake arm cuff.

her black inky hair fell on her shoulders as her champagne eyes met his coffee ones in a way that made his stomach do backflips, her cocky grin turned into a sweet one, and he could see the relief in those eyes he loved.

"I know it will be hard but you need a hand..." she whispered, her black hair falling and shielding the side of her face from the cold wind. 

like a blanket between them, preventing anyone from catching a glimpse of them standing dangerously close to one another.

Kaz was in pure awe, he only stared at her for a hot second, studying every feature to see if anything changed since their last conversation or if she was hurt.

he took her hand and Zaria immediately noticed how freezing he was, Kaz fought his demons, reassuring himself that he was alive and she was standing in front of him, that she was the only one allowed to touch him.

she smiled softly as if thanking him for trusting her and boosting him up, Kaz towered over her and clenched her hand as if his life depended on it.

Zaria looked up searching for any kind of injuries, his hair fell in front of his forehead like an ocean, it was damp, his cheeks were rosy and the rest paler than before.

she looked down at their hands but caught a glimpse of his chest, "oh saints!" she exclaimed with wide eyes before looking away, both their hands tore and the teenagers blushed like toddlers.

"I'm sorry.." she spoke looking everywhere but at the boy, her cheeks were flaming hot and she bit her lip so hard to hold back her smile, she saw Kaz Brekker's bare chest, oh. my. saints.

Inej was telling everyone to hold onto something because they were about to move at top speed and Zaria was holding on to the gun tightly still trying to forget Kaz Brekker standing there with his uniform unbuttoned.
saints she has already seen him shirtless, why is she still blushing like an idiot?

the crows boosted themselves onto the sides of the tank, clutching at any groove or lip in the metal for dear life, and then they were rolling down the road towards the harbor at top speed.

As they roared past the streetlamps, people emerged from their houses to see what was happening. What did they see as they poked their heads out of windows and doorways? 

A group of hooting kids clinging to a tank painted with the Fjerdan flag and charging along like some deranged float gone astray from its parade; a girl in purple silk, a boy with red-gold curls, and a raven haired girl in black and red silks poking out from behind the guns; four soaked people holding tight to the sides for dear life – a Shu boy in prison clothes, two bedraggled drüskelle, and Nina, a half-naked girl in shreds of teal chiffon shouting, "We have a moat!" 

Wylan ducked down, and the tank veered west, "It’s the warehouse district," Matthias explained, "Deserted at night." 

The tank clattered and clanked over the cobblestones, swinging right and left over curbs and back again to avoid the few pedestrians, then sped into the harbor district, past taverns and shops and shipping offices.

Zaria felt free, sure, Fjerda's breeze was cruel and made every bone in her body ache, but she can finally breathe, the voices in her mind disappeared like they never even existed and she felt so happy.

Kuwei tilted his head back, his face bright with joy, "I can smell the sea," he said happily. Nina could smell it, too, everyone did.

The lighthouse gleamed in the distance, two more blocks, and they'd be at the quay and freedom. Thirty million kruge waiting for them.

With her share and Matthias', they could go anywhere they wanted, and live any life they chose.

"Almost there!" cried Wylan happily but when they rounded a corner, Zaria's smile faded and her heart dropped, her eyes met Nina's wide ones, "Stop! Jes stop!" shouted the girl sliding down and landing beside Jesper's window.

The tank jolted to a halt, nearly throwing Nina from her perch if it wasn't for Zaria gripping her wrist and pulling her back, the happy atmosphere fading and turning into one full of worry and a sense of danger.

The quay lay directly before them and beyond it the harbor, the flags of a thousand ships snapping in the breeze.

The hour was late and just like Matthias said, the quay should have been empty by now, but no, instead, it was crowded with troops, row after row of them in grey uniforms, two hundred soldiers at least – and every barrel of every gun was pointed directly at them.

Zaria and Nina were the main people, since they are standing in front of everyone and had full sight of the quay and if they start shooting, the heartrender and squaller are the first to die.

Zaria looked over her shoulder, the Ice Court overlooked the harbor, its white stone walls lit from below, glowing against the night sky.

"What is this? You never said-" Wylan started turning to the Fjerdan who cut him off without sparing a glance, "They must have changed deployment procedure." he replied.

"Everything else was the same."

"I've never seen Black Protocol engaged," Matthias spoke in anger, "Maybe they always had troops stationed in the harbor. I don’t know." 

Inej waved her hand, "Be quiet," she exclaimed in vexation, "Just stop." an angry Matthias didn't help the situation at all, the teenagers were in shock, and this wasn't supposed to happen.

Nina jumped as a voice echoed over the crowd, took a few steps back, and landed in Zaria's arms, the girl wrapped her arm around Nina's waist pulling her back protectively.

It spoke first in Fjerdan, then Ravkan, then Kerch, and finally Shu, "Release the prisoner Kuwei YulBo. Put down your weapons and step away from the tank."

"They can’t just open fire," said Matthias, "They won’t risk hurting Kuwei." Zaria scoffed and spoke pointing to the man, an emaciated prisoner who was being led through the rows of soldiers.

"they don't have to.

His hair was matted to his forehead, he wore a ragged red kefta and was clutching the sleeve of the guard closest to him, lips moving feverishly as if imparting some desperate wisdom. Nina knew he was begging for parem.

so this is what she would look like with the parem taking full control of her body, she didn't want that.

"A Heartrender," Matthias said grimly making her nod, Nina was frozen in the spot. 

"But he’s so far away," protested Wylan making Nina shake her head finally out of thought, "It doesn't matter." both she and the squaller replied in unison.

Had they kept him down here with whatever troops were posted in lower Djerholm? Why not? He was a weapon better than any gun or tank. 

"I can see the Ferolind," murmured Inej, she pointed down the docks, just a little way off. 

It took Nina a moment, but then she picked out the Kerch flag and the cheery Haanraadt Bay pennant flying beneath it. They were so close. 

"Kaz?" called Jesper from inside the tank, "This would be a really good time to say you saw this coming."

Kaz looked out over the sea of soldiers, "I didn’t see this coming." He shook his head. Zaria wanted to die at the moment, Kaz Brekker was finally out of tricks, no more up his sleeves.

"You told me one day I'd run out of tricks, Helvar. Looks like you were right." The words were for Matthias, but his eyes were on Zaria, no one else, but her.

"I've had my fill of captivity, they won't take me alive." she spoke earning nods from the rest especially the heartrender, "Me neither," said Wylan.

Jesper snorted from inside the tank, "We really need to get him more suitable friends." why must this boy find things funny during the most dangerous situations?

"Better to go out with fists swinging than let some Fjerdan put me on a pike," said Kaz, and Matthias nodded without fighting back surprisingly. 

"Then we agree. We end this here." A simple word from Nina and everyone turned to her was, "No."

The voice echoed out from the Fjerdan ranks once more, "You have a count of ten to comply. I repeat: Release the prisoner Kuwei Yul-Bo and surrender yourselves, ten..."

Nina spoke to Kuwei rapidly in Shu and by the head shake from Kuwei, she knew what Nina was planning to do.

"You don’t understand," he replied, "A single dose-" could kill a person even, it's the most powerful one.

"I understand," she said, But the others didn't. Not until they saw Kuwei produce a little leather pouch from his pocket. Its rim was stained with rust-colored powder.

"No!" Matthias shouted reaching to grab the parem but Nina was quicker, the Fjerdan voice droned on, "Seven..." Zaria grabbed Nina's shoulder firmly, anger clear in her champagne eyes.

"Are you crazy?!" she yelled, the thought of losing her friend frightened her, and the Fjerdan counting reminded her so much of her mother when she used to hide from her, counting.

everyone was startled by the sudden outburst, tears blurred Zaria's vision as she grabbed Nina warningly, Nina cupped Zaria's cheek with the softest smile.

"Nina, don’t be stupid," started Inej with a shaky voice, "You’ve seen-" Nina turned to the Suli girl, "Some people don’t get addicted after the first dose." Zaria thought of a plan, using every brain cell to find another way.

only one and it could get her killed.

"It isn’t worth the risk." 

"six..."

"Kaz is out of tricks." She plucked open the pouch after letting go of Zaria, "But I’m not." nor am I, thought Zaria waiting.

"Nina, please," Matthias begged, She’d seen the same anguish on his face that day in Elling when he thought she’d betrayed him. In a way, she was doing the same thing now, abandoning him once more. 

“Five …” The first dose was the strongest, wasn’t that what they’d said? The high and the power could never be replicated. She’d be chasing it for the rest of her life. Or maybe she’d be stronger than the drug.

"four..."

She touched Matthias' cheek briefly, 'If it gets bad, find a way to end it, Helvar. I’m trusting you to do the right thing." She smiled, "Again."

four seconds left, move Zaria.

Kaz was sensing that Zaria will do something bad but before he could say something she appeared in front of him, placing a hand on his cheek.

Kaz froze, eyes wide as he looked down to her hand then to her eyes, but Zaria had tears almost racing down but he could see the word "I'm sorry." written in them.

"you are my home, you always will be, and there is nothing that will keep me away from you." her lips trembled as she ran her thumb over the faint scar on his cheekbone, smiling so softly at him, "and saints Kaz, if only you knew..." 

why was she telling him that? what is happening?

a tear raced down her cheek and Kaz didn't think twice before wiping it away, the touch almost made her sob happily, if it wasn't for the clock ticking.

He didn't care about his fear, this time only, he only focused on the girl in front of him, no one noticed her moving away and instead their attention was on Nina.

He didn't cup her cheek, only his thumb pressed against her skin almost burning, the spot where the tear he wiped away was.

Kaz forgot his demons for a second and watched her lean against his cheek lovingly closing her eyes lovingly, "Three..." she placed her hand under his, pushing his hand away and placing a kiss to his gloves palm.

And with that, she slipped away from his hold.

Nina had already taken the parem, it wasn't a lot, she wanted to pour the whole thing but someone already grabbed it as soon as the drug landed on her tongue and intertwined their fingers with hers.

"NO!" Kaz yelled voice shaking the entire row of Fjerdans in front of them, but it was too late.

Zaria tossed her head back and poured the parem into her mouth, all of it, downing it in a single hard swallow, as if she was used to it.

It had the sweet, burnt taste of the jurda blossoms she knew, but there was another flavor, one she couldn’t quite identify.

Jesper came out and called out for the girl in pure shock, Kaz didn't know what to do, he was suddenly back on top of the bodies, except the body he was holding onto is Zaria's this time.

He was mad, he was very mad.

she was going to die because of him, he didn't have any plan in his mind and she was going to die because of him now.

He was mad at her, for putting herself in danger.

Both Zaria and Nina looked at one another with their fingers intertwined so tightly one last time before their minds stopped working in a blink of an eye.

Zaria looked back behind, catching Kaz's eyes that were wide in anger, one last time, they weren't the usual coffee color she loved to stare at, they were almost black with red surrounding.

Her blood began to thrum, and her heart was suddenly pounding, nothing like the drugs she took before, the world broke up into flashes of light mainly red.

She saw the sweat on Kaz's brow, the nearly invisible pinpricks of the tattoo on his forearm she never noticed before not even when he was shirtless, until now.

She looked out over the lines of Fjerdan soldiers. She could hear the howling of the wind, calling out for her, "Nina?" 

"Zaria?" Matthias and Kaz called in a whisper reaching for their lovers who didn't spare them a glance, Nina in fact did reply, while Zaria was just staring ahead with cold eyes.

"move," Nina said, and she saw her voice in the air.

She sensed the Heartrender in the crowd, the movement of his throat as he swallowed his dose. He would be the first.

"Two… one…" Matthias saw Nina's pupils dilate, her lips parted, and she pushed past him, stepping down from the tank in unison with Zaria.

"Take the left." Zaria spoke in a voice so cold that even Kaz felt chills running down his spine.

Nina nodded and turned going for the Heartrender immediately, Nina flicked her wrist, and his eyes exploded in his head. He crumpled without a sound, "be free," she said. 

Zaria's back was pressed to Nina's as she took care of the Squaller who appeared out of nowhere, tilting her head in a challenging way.

he sent a tornado towards her and in a flick of her wrist she controlled it, wood branches and shards of glass coming from everywhere around them.

with a snap of her fingers, the shards and branches were sent toward the soldiers on the right of the squaller, stabbing them right in the eyes and mouths before even a cry could leave their lips.

Kaz could see that she started summoning lightning sending it towards the soldiers on the left, the soldiers felt like Djel was piercing every bit of their body as a punishment, an excruciating pain.
She was controlling them with lightning, the electricity rushing through their veins getting higher making them feel more pain.

yet they have no actual vision or sight of their surroundings just pitch black with these white light flashes that are at a fast speed, the only sound they can hear is a loud mechanical sounding crackling in their heads.

and once she put her hand away, they dropped dead, just like flies, smoke leaving their burnt bodies as not a flicker of life is left, row after row in unison.

Dead from being electrocuted.

she left absolutely nothing in them, lastly, it was the squaller, standing there all alone with piles of bodies surrounding him and only his power to protect him.

He waited for an attack, keeping eye contact with the girl who just stood, staring at him right in the eyes emotionless, as if she was towering over him staring into his soul but no...she was far away but he could still feel the murderous gaze.

Nina glided towards the soldiers, their attention was on the black-haired girl who didn't think twice before killing those soldiers and Nina, back and forth, in fear.

Matthias moved to protect her as he saw rifles raised but she lifted her hands, "Stop," she said only to her side, the rest leaving them for Zaria to take care of.

They froze, "Lay down your arms." As one they obeyed her, "Sleep," she commanded.

Nina swept her hands in an arc, and the soldiers toppled without protest, row after row, stalks of wheat felled by an invisible scythe.

The air was howling as they turned to look at Zaria who was still fighting the Squaller alone, two drugged grishas from the same order fighting one another.

Slowly, Wylan and Inej climbed down from the tank, Jesper and the rest followed, and they stood in stunned silence, all language dissolved by what they'd witnessed, gazing out at the field of fallen bodies. It had happened so quickly. 

Except, only one was left, Nina turned around to watch her friend, Jesper's mouth was open, saints after years of growing up with Zaria Isla, he never knew she was capable of all this, he never saw this side of her.

Kaz stared at his girl, worry clear in his eyes but he was in pure awe as well.

He didn't recognize her, no one did, that was not Zaria Isla he loved, they loved, that was the Storm.

they stood behind her, not a word leaving their lips as they stared, the Squaller was doing everything he can to kill her, throwing every trick that came to mind, but she seemed to control them easily.

floating shards of ice suddenly appeared in front of the Crows who ducked but no, Zaria already created a shield with her left arm out in front of them protectively.

Her black hair going everywhere, her dress lifting revealing her thighs, she was freezing, making a circular motion with her hand the shards of ice turned and were thrown back at the grisha.

stabbing him in the shoulders, chest, and legs, and with one last move, like she was crushing a paper in her hand, she pulled the air out of her target's lungs killing him immediately.

he dropped to the ground, right into the water.

the clean water turned  a dark red and silence fell, the air was now eerily still, it was when Jesper turned her around that she finally snapped out of thoughts.

the coldness fading and replaced with a soft look as soon as she came face to face with a worried and shocked Jesper Fahey.

he pulled her in a hug, Zaria this time didn't hug him back, her heart was still beating so fast, blood bubbling and burning under her skin as her eyes laid on the love of her life.

Kaz Brekker stood behind with a clenched jaw, and she swore she could see the fire in those beautiful eyes, even the girl was trying to register what just happened.

she and Nina Zenik destroyed an entire army, just the two of them with their insane power caused by a drug, he should be proud.

she stared at the boy, lips parted as she searched for her voice, Jesper's arms tightened around her but the girl didn't move an inch, didn't even flinch, instead just tilted her head at dirtyhands.
wondering what happened to him? He was never this angry. his eyes were never like that. almost black.

Usually she would pull away from Jesper, exclaiming that he was killing her.

There was no way to reach the harbor unless they walked over the soldiers. Without a word, they began to pick their way through, the hush broken only by the faraway bells of the Elderclock.

Matthias laid his hand on Nina's arm, and she released a little sigh, letting him lead her. Zaria was coming back to her senses, her heart dropped to her feet as she tried to find a word to tell Kaz or Jesper.

Matthias was kind, he helped her move over the soldiers, half laying there without a hint of life in their eyes, the others bleeding with shards of glass and branches stabbing into their skins.

everything happened in a blink of an eye, beyond the quay, the docks were deserted. 

As the others headed towards the Ferolind, Matthias, and Nina trailed behind. 

Matthias could see Rotty clinging to the mast, jaw slack with fear. Specht was waiting to unmoor the ship, and the look on his face was equally terrified. 

Zaria froze once noticing Nina and Matthias were nowhere to be found, without a word she moved, searching for them.

"Matthias!" He turned at the sound of his name being called.

A group of drüskelle stood on the quay, their uniforms soaked, their black hoods raised.

They wore masks of dully gleaming grey chainmail over their faces, their features obscured by the mesh. But Matthias recognised Jarl Brum’s voice when he spoke.

"Traitor." Brum said from behind his mask, "Betrayer of your country and your god. You will not leave this harbour alive. None of you will."

His men must have got him out of the treasury after the explosion.

Had they followed Matthias and Nina to the river beneath the ash? Had there been horses or more tanks stationed in the upper town? Nina raised her hands and so did Zaria.

"For Matthias, I will give you one chance to leave us be."

"You cannot control us, witch," said Brum voice full of venom, "Our hoods, our masks, every stitch of clothing we wear is reinforced with Grisha steel. Corecloth created to our specifications by Grisha Fabrikators under our control and designed for just this purpose. You cannot force us to your will. You cannot harm us. This game is at an end."

Nina lifted a hand. Nothing happened, and Matthias knew what Brum was saying was true.

"Go!" Matthias shouted at them, "Please! You—" Brum lifted his gun and fired.

Zaria's eyes widened as her head snapped to her friend in pure fear, she sent a blast of wind towards them, Brum fell to the ground at the force.

The bullet struck Matthias directly in the chest, The pain was sudden and terrible and then gone.

Before his eyes, he saw the bullet emerge from his chest. It hit the ground with a plink. He pulled his shirt open. There was no wound. Nina was walking past him.

"No!" he cried. The drüskelle opened fire on her. He saw her flinch as the bullets struck her body, saw red blooms of blood appear on her chest, her breasts, her bare thighs. But she did not fall.

"No! NINA!" screamed Zaria in rage lifting the men in the air and slamming them to the ground and trees repeatedly.

As fast as the bullets tore through her body, she healed herself, and the shells fell harmlessly to the dock. The drüskelle gaped at Nina.

Zaria sighed in relief, she cannot die, Nina better not die.

Nina laughed angrily, "You’ve grown too used to captive Grisha. We’re quite tame in our cages."

"There are other means," said Brum grunting as he stood from the ground where Zaria slammed him.

He pulled out a long whip like the one Lars had used from his belt, "Your power cannot touch us, witch, and our cause is true."

"I can’t touch you, Zaria surely did," said Nina, raising her hands gesturing for the Squaller to come, "But I can reach them just fine."

Behind the drüskelle, the Fjerdan soldiers Nina had put to sleep rose, their faces blank but electricity suddenly surrounded their bodies.

One tore the whip from Brum’s hand shocking him, the others snatched the hoods and masks from the startled drüskelle's faces, rendering them vulnerable.

The girls flexed their fingers, and the drüskelle dropped their rifles, hands going to their heads, screaming in pain, from the lighting rushing to their heads making every brain cell explode and from Nina's power.

"For my country," she said, "For my people. For every child you put to the pyre. Reap what you've sown, Jarl Brum."

Matthias watched the drüskelle twitch and convulse, blood trickling from their ears and eyes as the other Fjerdan soldiers looked on impassively.

Their screams were a chorus to the girls, like they were at a concert, Zaria didn't do much except send waves of lighting through their veins, the electricity getting faster and more painful by the second.

Claas, who had drunk too much with him in Avfalle, Giert, who'd trained his wolf to eat from his hand.

They were monsters, he knew it, but boys as well, boys like him – taught to hate, to fear.

"Nina," he said, hand still pressed over the smooth skin on his chest where a bullet wound should be, "Nina, please."

He watched them scream, tremble, call out for Djel, begging for mercy.

"You know they would not offer you mercy, Matthias."

"I know. I know. But let them live in shame instead." She hesitated, "Nina, you taught me to be something better. They could be taught, too."

Nina shifted her gaze to his. Her eyes were ferocious, the deep green of forests; the pupils, dark wells.

The air around her seemed to shimmer with power, as if she was alight with some secret flame.

Zaria wanted them to suffer, she listened to the two not once stopping until the Heartrender tells her so, they almost killed Matthias, they deserve more.

"They fear you as I once feared you," he spoke softly, "As you once feared me. We are all someone’s monster, Nina."

Nina studied him but dropped her arms, "do you want me to stop?" Asked Zaria getting ready to snatch the air out of their lungs.

"Please, Zaria." Said Matthias softly placing a hand on her shoulders that were still tensed.

"They almost killed you, Matthias!" She turned around to look at him in anger, her eyes burned with a red fire.

Matthias nodded and placed a hand on her arm gently, she wanted to kill them.

she may have hated him at first, but now, he is her friend, a close one and she will never forgive them and if they tried hurting him again, she will murder them even if Matthias refused and begged for her not to.
"I know, please, Zaria." Glancing at Nina who nodded with shoulders dropping, she looked at Matthias, before finally dropping her own hands.

The ranks of drüskelle stopped shaking like leafs and crumpled to the ground, whimpering.

Nina's hand shot out once more, and Brum shrieked.

He clapped his hands to his head, blood trickling between his fingers.

"He’ll live?" Matthias asked and Zaria appeared by his side once again, glancing back at Brum, thinking about her decision.

"Yes," replied Nina as she stepped onto the schooner, "He'll just be very bald."

Specht shouted commands, and the Ferolind drifted into the harbour, picking up speed as the sails swelled with wind.

No one ran to the docks to stop them. No ships or cannon fired. There was no one to give warning, no one to signal to the gunnery above.

The Elderclock chimed on unheeded as the schooner vanished into the vast black shelter of the sea, leaving only suffering in her wake. 

They did it, they fucking did it.

Zaria could still taste the drug on her tongue and suddenly the world started spinning, not in a euphoric way, no.

She held on the wood tightly for dear's life, closing her eyes to get rid of the sudden dizziness.

Jesper appeared by her side in a speed of light, a supportive hand on her waist, "are you okay, love?" He asked.

Zaria smiled, for the first time since the whole jurda parem thing, "I am, love, just a sudden dizziness."

They’d been blessed with a strong wind, Inej felt it ripple through her hair and couldn’t help but think of the storm to come.

As soon as they were on deck, Matthias had turned to Kuwei, "How long does she have?" Kuwei had some Kerch, but Nina had to translate in places.
She did it distractedly, her glittering eyes roving over everyone and everything.

"The high will last one hour, maybe two. It depends how long it takes her body to process a dose of that size."

"Why can’t you just purge it from your body like the bullets?" Matthias asked Nina desperately.

"It doesn’t work," said Kuwei, "Even if she could overcome the craving for long enough to start purging it from her body, she'll lose the ability to pull the parem from her system before it's all gone. You'd need another Corporalnik using parem to accomplish it."

"What will it do to them?" asked Wylan, "You've seen for yourself," Matthias replied bitterly earning a small slap from Zaria.

"We know what's going to happen." Kaz crossed his arms, "How will it start?" Zaria's eyes lit at the sight of Dirtyhands and she couldn't fight the small smile.

She wanted to talk to him.

Truth be told, no one knew what's going to happem really, not to one who took most of it, worse is waiting.
"Body aches, chills, no worse than a mild illness," Kuwei explained, if only he knew, "Then a kind of hypersensitivity, followed by tremors, and the craving."

Oh saints, the crows looked at Nina and Zaria in worry, nothing seemed to appear for now only small dizziness other than that nothing.

For now.

"Do you have more of the parem?" Matthias asked earning a nod from the boy, "yes." He replied.

"Enough to get them back to Ketterdam?" asked Jesper, "I won't take more," Nina protested and eyes turned to Zaria.

"I won't take more as well," she said shivering at the thought of having more, it was disgusting and it made her feel things she never felt before.

An uncontrollable rage.

"I have enough to keep you both comfortable," Kuwei said, "But if you take a second dose, there is no hope at all." He looked to Matthias and then Kaz.

"This is their one chance. It's possible their body will purge enough of it naturally that addiction won’t set in."

"And if it does?" Kuwei held out his hands, part shrug, part apology.

"Without a ready supply of the drug, they'll go mad. With it, their body will simply wear itself out. Do you know the word parem? It's the name my father gave to the drug. It means 'without pity'."

Zaria could feel Wylan and Jesper tense at the thought of the two grishas possibly going mad because of a rusty coloured powder.

When Nina finished translating, there was a long pause.

"I don’t want to hear any more," said Zaria not bearing to hear any morw of it, "None of it will change what’s coming."

With that she drifted away towards the prow along with Nina, Matthias watched them go, Kaz kept an eye for the girl, despite him being angry at her, he still cared.

"The water hears and understands," he murmured beneath his breath.
Inej sought out Rotty and got him to dig up the wool coats she and Nina had left behind in favour of their cold weather gear when they'd landed on the northern shore.

She found Nina and Zaria near the prow, gazing out at the sea without a word shared between them, "One hour, maybe two," Nina said without turning.

Inej halted in shock, "You heard me approach?" No one heard the Wraith, especially over the sound of the wind and sea.

"Don't worry. It wasn't those silent feet that gave you away. I can hear your pulse, your breathing."

"And you knew it was me?"

"Every heart sounds different. I never realised that before." Inej joined them at the rail and handed Nina her coat, and then Zaria who was silent.

The Grishas put it on, though the cold didn't seem to be bothering them this time.

Above them, the stars shone bright between silver-seeded drifts of cloud.
Inej was ready for dawn, ready for this long night to be over, and the journey, too.

She was surprised to find she was eager to see Ketterdam again.

She wanted an omelette, a mug of too-sweet coffee. She wanted to hear the rain on the rooftops and sit snug and warm in her tiny room at the Slat.

There were adventures to come, but they could wait until she'd had a hot bath – maybe a few of them. Nina buried her face in her coat's woollen collar and said.

"I wish you could see what I do. I can hear every body on this ship, the blood rushing through their veins." Nina smirked.

"I can hear the change in Kaz’s breathing when he looks at Zaria." The Squaller turned around at that, clearly caught off guard.

Inej grinned wickedly, "really?" Asked Zaria not believing the Heartrender's words, "Mhm, It catches every time, like he's never seen you before."

Zaria's already hammering heart was now banging against her chest, warmth rushing to her cheeks as she bit back her smile.

Inej nudged Nina's shoulder teasingly, "And what about Matthias?" Zaria asked cocking an eyebrow eager to change the subject.

Nina raised a brow, unfooled.

"Matthias is afraid for me, but his heart thumps a steady rhythm no matter what he's feeling. So Fjerdan, so orderly."

Zaria rolled her eyes and leaned her back against the railing, smirking at her friend, "darling if only you've seen the way he looks at your lips."

And that made Nina's cheeks turn rosy and both the girl chuckles at the Heartrender.

"darling if only you've seen the way Kaz stares at you and his eyes light up like the stars at the mention of your anme, for saints sake." Snapped back Nina.

And that made Zaria scoff, "yeah right, Kaz Brekker? Me?" Inej nodded leaning against the railing and running a hand through her hair.
"She's right, I have never seen him like that in my entire life of knowing him." Zaria looked up, a shooting star from far appeared.

Zaria immediately wished as soon as it went by her, I wish everything the girls told me was true, I wish for Kaz Brekker.

The girls stayed silent watching the girl open her eyes and finally let the smile reach her eyes, one full of sorrow, "well, he wouldn't be mad at me if this was true."

Both the girls faced her with frowns, "is he?" Both of them asked in unison, vexation clesr in their tones.

"Yup. Won't even bother glancing at me." She sighed heavily, if only she knew, Nina and Inej rolled their eyes at Kaz Brekker's behavior.

"I can stab him if you want." Suggested Inej showing her precious daggers, Zaria smiled at the sight of the Wraith with her saints finally.

She wrapped an arm around her shoulder before pressing her cheek against the Suli girl's one, "maybe next time."

Inej turned around and placed a kiss on the girl's cheek making Zaria turn around and do the same.

Nina smiled at her two best friends, and with that silence fell again.

"I didn't think you'd let those men live, back at the harbour."

"I’m not sure it was the right thing to do. I'll become one more Grisha horror story for them to tell their children along with Z."

"Behave or Nina Zenik will get you? Or, Behave or Zaria Isla will get you?" Nina considered.

"Well, I do like the sound of that."

"Sounds lovely to me." Inej leaned back on the railing and peered at the grishas, "You both look radiant." Zaria spoke, "it won't last."

"It never does." Then Inej's smile faltered, she didn't know what the girls were feeling but it didn't sound lovely.

"Girls?" She called earning a few hums from the pretty girls, "are you afraid?" It took them a hot minute to answer.

Nina was first, "terrified." With that, the zemeni girl wrapped her other arm around Nina's shoulders, "what about you Zaria?"

The girl thought, "well, not gonna lie, but I am absolutely horrified because I took most of the drug and it's been a while since I used my power."

She spoke truthfully, Inej's features turned into a worried one, "We'll all be here with you, both of you." Nina took a wobbly breath and nodded.

Zaria smiled and nodded as well.

Inej had made countless alliances in Ketterdam, but few friends.

Inej moved to stand on Nina's right and rested her head against her shoulder and Zaria did the same on her left.

Nina wrapped her arms around the girls shoulders putting her head on top of Inej's then the zemeni girl.

——♤——

We are getting closer to the end. Zaria not thinking twice before taking the drug not wanting Nina to do it alone</3 gfs.

Also her friendship with Matthias<3333 and how powerful she is, lord have mercy.

Zaria = my wife (real)

And Kaz and Zaria<3 i love this chapter.