A/N; thanks to multifandomdisaster9 for the help<3

Chapter 10: Piano.

——♤——

Faint Piano played in the background as people's chatted, foreigners coming from Ravka came to visit Ketterdam, especially the crow club.

Jesper sat on one of the gambling tables as always, Violet was sitting on Zaria's lap rolling a strand of black raven hair between her fingers, Zaria's eyes were stuck on Kaz Brekker watching as he talked to Inej.

His eyes found hers and her mind immediately went back to yesterday, his words echoing around her mind and never leaving anytime soon, he raised his glass of wine up at her with the corner of his lips slightly twitching wickedly watching as she reddened and turned her attention back at the girl on her lap.

Wylan and Inej stared between the two, Kaz's narrowed eyes never left hers even if she was now talking to the pretty blonde sitting on her lap and had her arms wrapped around her neck.

Zaria's cheeks were burning red and her hands were starting to sweat as the sound of Violet's voice faded in the background and the only sound was his voice in her mind, "I like it." was what he said, 3 words she can't seem to ever forget no matter what.

"Zaria, why won't you play the piano?" 

Jesper cut off the silence seeing her zone out for quite a bit, Zaria cleared her throat and shook her head at Jesper's words, "oh no, I shouldn't, it's been a while since I played-" 

Violet interrupted, "I believe you should!" she exclaimed, glancing towards the piano who was feeling lonely, as if it was calling her name, Zaria looked between the two and finally nodded with a sigh.

"fine then," she said, kissing the blonde's cheek in the hope to forget the bastard of the barrel's voice and burning eyes on hers, Violet got up and followed the Zemeni girl towards the piano.

Zaria sat, a sigh leaving her lips as she placed her fingers on the keyboard trying to remember the music and steps she should do, her sweaty hands didn't make her feel any better but she ignored them.

Beginning to play she closed her eyes trying to remember the notes, running her fingers lightly over the keys in legato where the notes are smooth and connected she could hear how the whole club fell silent and instead listen.

The music was as if you were in a fairytale, emotional yet so beautiful, her head down as her fingers glided smoothly over the keys. it even appeared she was slightly swaying along with the music.

Violet leaned against the piano staring in awe at the girl playing, Jesper moved his chair and was leaning his head on his arm watching as she played, memories surrounded his brain as he still remembers when she used to play this for him back home.

Some even had tears raining down their cheeks at how beautiful the music is, Kaz watched silently, letting the music relax his thoughts. He tilted his head, eyes focusing on her more than the way she pressed the keys, black hair covering her face as her tensed shoulder relaxed as soon as she started playing.

Inej's eyes went up to Kaz to see him already staring at her with a tilted head and in his eyes, there was an expression she couldn't read, he was her best friend and the wraith could read him like an open book.

But not tonight.

There was just something about the sparkle in his eyes that made her feel scared for both him and Zaria, especially the new Crow who became one of them about 3 months ago, she was scared that something might happen to her that will destroy them all.

Something might happen between the bastard of the barrel and the lightning bolt of the dregs.

She looked towards Wylan who was already looking at her, walking towards him she whispered softly, "I should talk with her first, talking with Kaz is an impossible heist."

Once she finished, everyone clapped, Jesper whistling and cheering for her proudly, Zaria smiled kindly at everyone before stepping away from the piano, Jesper hugged her, she wrapped her arms back around the sharpshooter and smiled at the people still clapping

Her eyes caching Kaz Brekker who was standing in the shadow as always.

She looked away.

——♤——

Zaria was a poet, nobody knew it not even Jesper, yet here she sat in the living room while everyone was asleep (except Kaz who was in his room of course) she didn't spend the night with him tonight.

She needed to clear her thoughts.

She was starting to miss the warm blanket and the comfortable velvet seat, yet here she sat freezing and writing on her paper a new poetry, she scribbled angrily the words shaking her head in rage.

She was getting mad, that he doesn't want to leave her mind, that he was the reason why she can't focus on the words she was writing, can't focus on anything other than how handsome he is.

love was dangerous, it was a very dangerous thing that she never believed in nor ever thought would ever happen, she grew up wanting to be happy not to find love.

'i'm not falling in love? am I?' running her hand through her hair in frustration she sighed, grabbing the parchment she walked towards the chimney throwing the now scrambled paper watching as it burned with a clenched jaw.

What she didn't notice was Kaz Brekker leaning against the wall upstairs watching her sigh in rage.

She knew what was happening now. She knew why her heart flutter when she looked at him. She knew why she wanted to be partners with him all the time. She knew why he felt different to her. 

She just didn’t want to admit it. 

She COULDN'T admit it. Not to anyone and most certainly not to herself. 

She knew what it meant, what she was feeling. But she refused to acknowledge it, refused to do anything other than suppressing it. 

Because if she was going to fall in love with anyone, she did not want it to be Kaz Brekker, dirtyhands himself. 

But she already knew there was no stopping it from happening so she was going to ignore it. 

Though her heart already knew what her brain refuses to accept. 

She was utterly in love with the most cold-hearted, aggravating, annoyingly very handsome, smart asshole she’s ever met. 

Kaz Brekker.

——♤——

as she walked up the stairs her eyes landed on Kaz Brekker's office, the door was slightly opened which never happened before, sighing deeply she inched closer pushing it.

Peeking her head she looked at Kaz who sat in his chair and not once decided to glance at her.

it was a winter night, snow falling and covering the roofs of Ketterdam and dirty streets, covering the blood, and the smell of Tobacco and coffee around the room welcomed her again.

Kaz's room was beautiful and neat, and that was why she loved it.

Snow was very rare in Novyi Zem, she always loved the snow and wished to play snowball fight with the crows but shook it off thinking that it was too childish and that she needs to grow up.

Kaz looked up from his papers to look at her hearing her steps come to an end, she sighed and threw her head back in frustration wondering why she was even here, "so what do you like to read?" he cut off the silence.

Great, that's a way to start a conversation.

She stood wearing a brown sweater, her hair down, and very comfy black pajama pants, "Poetry." she replied in her tone cold, "what type of poetry?" she frowned, 'was Kaz Brekker interested in poetry?' She thought about continuing her tour around the room.

her steps are quiet.

"depends on my mood."

she replied once again peering over her shoulder to look at Kaz who continued reading the paper, "so what type have you been writing these days?" Kaz questioned, lifting his eyes from the parchment to look at her watching as she suddenly stopped, 'how does he know that I write?' she thought amazingly, Kaz not once changed his expression.

Love.

she thought, shaking her head with a sigh trying so hard to stop thinking about the butterflies he always makes her feel, "I can't tell you." she replied, laughing slightly.

"So you do not trust me?" 

She panicked, turning her eyes slightly wide, "what- no- no! that's not what I mean, I do trust you but-" she scoffed, regretting her life decision, "fine. I write about adoration and happiness."

she expected him to laugh at her, and call her a loser for believing in such a thing but not one word was uttered from his lips.

"Happiness doesn't exist." he spoke watching as she frowned and scoffed slightly, "Yes it does." she shot back, Kaz put down the quill on his desk letting it roll and stopped beside the small ink bottle, "Life isn't about happiness, not in the Barrel or Ketterdam."

"Well, life isn't about revenge and rage only." she spoke again, Kaz had told her that he wanted to take revenge on a certain person but didn't say the person's name, "yes, it is."

"no, it isn't. There is no way in hell that the only thing you felt your whole life is revenge and rage, you must've at least felt once in your life, happiness, comfort, and love," she said stepping closer towards Kaz who stretched his bad leg in front of him, few strands of hair falling and eyes never leaving her.

She could feel her heart suddenly start pounding a little too fast at the beautiful man in front of her, her breath hitching at his eyes on hers.

"There is no such thing as love." Kaz didn't want to fight her, he actually wanted to hear her thoughts about such a thing, the word 'love' sounded like a mockery, like a joke that only he found funny. 

She cocked an eyebrow, "Oh so, you're telling me that you never fell in love?" 

"No."

she laughed dryly slightly clapping her hands and wiping the fake tears, "I despise when people lie to me in my face, dirtyhands." she spoke slightly glaring at the man who had an amused smirk on the corner of his lips.

"I am not lying."

"Lying is your talent. Don't bullshit me, Brekker, life isn't just about revenge, money or anger. I understand that you want to take revenge and be rich, and I feel the same thing, but I will never say that I never fell in love in my entire years of existence."

"Tell me then, did you ever fall in love?"

Yes, with you.

no, Zaria, stop thinking about that!

"I did."

"with who?"

"It's a secret. I thought you didn't believe in love?" she raised an eyebrow at him with crossed arms in front of her chest, Kaz frowned, "Crows never keep secrets from each other, Isla." he ordered. 

"As if you don't have secrets hidden deep within that cold heart of yours, tell me then, have you ever been in love or felt happy or comforted at least once?" she asked once again, taking a step closer and leaning against the desk, slightly towering over his sitting form.

she felt kinda proud to see him sit and stand taller but she knew that he was way taller than her.

"no."

"See, I am not the only one who has parts of them hidden away, I will tell you my secrets when you tell me yours, Brekker."

"The only thing that makes me happy is money and to be rich, nothing else."

"lies again. What do you believe in, other than money, of course?" she asked, rolling her eyes at the mention of money.

"Nothing."

'you.' he wanted to say. 'I believe in you.'

she rolled her eyes at his response and started walking toward the door, "Why did I even ask?" just as her hand landed on the doorknob as she was about to twist it open she was stopped by his words, "Fine, I believe in y- my crows, that's it."

She looked down grinning and peering over to Kaz who was now standing leaning against his cane and watching her look over at him with the most beautiful smile. 

his heart skipped a beat, Kaz froze and his adam's apple went up and down, the way the light coming from the candle kissed her skin was so breathtaking.

"You will one day answer the rest of the other questions, Brekker, I do not forget easily." he snapped out of thought and waved her off, "go to sleep, Isla." she laughed and Kaz tried to fight the one small grin threatening to place on his lips

"Have a lovely night, Dirtyhands." she smiled at him warmly and kindly, one that he never seemed to get. with that she left him alone, he didn't want her to leave.

He scoffed but there was a small grin on the corner of his lips.

That was the night she realized her feelings for Kaz Brekker will grow no matter what, and heartbreak was the last thing she wanted to feel, she thought that her friendship with Kaz will always stay and that he will not keep secrets that relate to her hidden.

it's funny how the whole day of not once exchanging words together, she ended up going to her room beaming to herself.