Gently brawling down the turnpike road,
Sweetly noisy falls the Silent Stream -
The Moon emerges from behind a Cloud
And darts upon the Myrtle Grove her beam.
-

"Lucy!" Edmund called, stepping down from the last step on the staircase that led to the entrance hall. No one had called him down, or anything- he was just going to tea. He was late, because he had been stuck on an infernal math problem for the past hour. Oh, how he dreaded trigonometry.
Why did he even have to study trigonometry? It wasn't like he would be asked the value of sin, cos, or tan, in court!
"What are-"

"Oh, Edmund." Her face was creased with emotion, as she turned towards where he was coming from.
As he neared her, he couldn't help but notice that- not only was she frowning, but her expression seemed close to crumpling. Lucy was about to cry- or she had already been crying.
Edmund reached his sister, and took her hand, and that prompted her to speak shakily, "Susan sent a letter-"

"To you?"

"To both of us." She said, and then looked around- the hall was almost empty, because everyone else was most likely at tea. Still, she did not feel comfortable speaking about it when she knew others were so near. "Come outside."

A letter so personal that it had to be read outside?
There went the worry again. At least the trigonometry had let him focus on how subpar he was in maths, instead of his anxiety about Cambridge and everything else.
"Isn't it raining?"

"No," Lucy pulled him out the door, uncaring of the fact that her brother probably ought to get permission to leave, "Sanya said it won't rain until after supper."

His heart fluttered at the mention of her name- he couldn't help it. It had been about a month since the 'it's a date' incident- and things had started to grow for a bit, before regressing spectacularly back to 'just friends who had sex'.
But they still held hands now, even in front of others. And when someone inquired whether they were back together- usually with a tinge of disapproval or curiosity in their tone- they'd look at each other first, and then shake their head.
Yes, they were friends, they had both agreed to that- twice- but the holding hands was something, right?
Yes, he knew they were both pathetic.
"What a handy ability that is."

"Please, be in love with Sanya later. This is important." With that, she held out the letter. "Read it."

Edmund was having exams, and he had made a pact to not read anything except study materials until the exams got over the next week.
But Lucy's face- her tone...
He took the letter, unfurled it, and began to read.
And with almost each sentence, his blood boiled or chilled, and he wished there was a chair somewhere in this courtyard.

Dear Lucy,
Forgive me for beginning so abruptly, but I must ask you to show this letter to Edmund, too, when you can, Lu. I know his exams are going on, and he shouldn't be disturbed, which is why I'm writing only to you. Let him read the letter after his exams end.

I don't know if you've spoken to Peter in the past few days- but I'm going to assume you haven't.
He came home last weekend, as he usually does. We don't talk much nowadays, and since you two are at school, we talk even less. Still, we did chat, and it was fun, for a while. He was talking about this internship he's up for- it's unpaid, apparently, but he says that the work experience will be worthwhile later on. I wished him all the best in getting it, and then there was silence.
Then he asked me if I had any plans for any such thing. I laughed, and told him that I had no interest in the medical sciences. He said that that wasn't what he meant, and I knew it. I tried to tell him to not get involved, that I'd manage something, and that I would not be a burden on our parents forever- but, alas.
He started getting angry- you know how quickly Peter gets angry, but there was just no reason to be. Then he started talking about how irresponsible and flighty I've become, and that I need to 'get off my arse and put in the dance pumps for work oxfords', and all that. I know and accept that I'm the nag of us four- but he put me to shame.
But all that was pretty much what Mother and Father have been telling me, though certainly not as explicitly as my dear brother did.
Do you think it make me a bad person to have fun? To enjoy my youth, to live?

But then he started shouting, and telling me how disappointed Queen Susan the Gentle would be, seeing what she had become. He said that the sister he had known in- in that place, would never be content to just go to parties and do nothing else worthwhile. He said that she had ambition, and knew the fruits of hard work, and that the way I was going, I would've never be worthy again of being the Queen I once was.

I couldn't help it, Lucy, I laughed.
Did Peter expect that the silly alter-ego we played about with in childhood games would guilt me? What sort of a pithy title is 'Gentle', anyway? I can't believe I'd ever been proud of that.

However, that just made Peter angrier, and then he said I was a disgrace, and that I'd turned my back on our home- and that he was disappointed.

All the rest didn't hurt me, but that last part did. I never want to disappoint my big brother. I wanted to apologise, to promise something that would not disappoint him further- but I didn't know what to say. He left the room after that, and we haven't spoken since.
You understand that I can't live my life like that, right? Perennially thinking of all the things we imagined when we were younger? It might work for others, but not for me. I've grown up.
The real world is what we have. This is where we are. Even if we have memories of that game, it doesn't change the fact that it wasn't real.
So I advise you to move on, too, dear sister. As I advise Edmund, too. Enjoy this life. Don't get bogged down by what your 'Queen/King'-self might have wanted. Do whatever you like.

I have a date with Bonnie next weekend- her birthday's on the twelfth, a Sunday. Quite lucky, right? I'm wearing those pink shoes- do you think they'll match with a blue dress? Or they'd clash...
But, leave that. I have ideas of what to get her- you were in the Art Club with her, right? So do you have any ideas of what paintbrushes she uses? If you do, please tell me- it would be a big help.
I'll be sure to send Ed a letter for his birthday, and wish him all the best for his remaining exams!
Love,
Susan'

"Well." Edmund laughed humourlessly, after he had handed the letter back. "Quite the coping mechanism."

"I'm worried, Ed." Tears started to her eyes- she couldn't help it. She couldn't- her sister, her beloved sister and fellow Queen- she had strayed away from everything shout their home. "Peter shouldn't have blown up like that- but I can't fault him. And- and Su's not just trying to convince herself that Narnia's imaginary- she's trying to convince us-"

"I know." He said, and then was quiet. He had to think. Preferably for a few hundred years.
When Sanya had told them that Susan had 'forgotten' Narnia, he had been anxious and afraid. But, as Peter had said, hope. He'd had hope. It wasn't likely, or logical to actually forget Narnia- it had just been a few years ago, for one, and it was so splendid and magical, for two, and it was their home, for three. He really had been sure that it had been a temporary method to cope with loss- alarming, but ultimately painless.
But the hope burned so feebly now, no phoenix could ever be born from that flame.
Susan really believed that Narnia was just a figment of their childhood imagination.
He felt like shaking her, and laying out all the evidences to the contrary. All the things that had happened there, everything they had gone through, the people they had met and loved and lost- no child could possibly have imagined that.
And he felt like picking Sanya up, and dropping her in front of Susan, and making her explain where she had come from! If Narnia wasn't real, as his sister claimed, then neither was Sanya, after all.

Loss could make people do drastic things, though. He knew that.
But people could move on from loss. They could put themselves together again.

The hope still burned.

"She'll realise how silly she's being someday." He didn't know who he was reassuring. "She'll move on from this- this coping mechanism, and she'll remember it all. She'll remember who she was, and what Narnia means- and how breathtakingly real it was and is."

Lucy sniffled. She had tried to tell herself the same thing. She had tried to believe that. But she had failed. She had always had a quiet pride in her faith- but, with this, with this awful business with her sister, that virtue of hers was failing.
But the way Edmund said it- he did sound unsure, it was true, but it was calm, reassuring, hopeful still.
"Maybe." She said, and her brother wrapped an arm around her. They both needed the comfort of each other, of family. "Maybe. She's still our sister."

He nodded, kissing the top of her head, "She'll always be our sister. Nothing will ever change that."
Even if they had different homes- as they seemed to, now.
--

"Hello?" Sanya asked into the telephone receiver- and as she heard a quiet cough, she couldn't help but smile. "Happy Birthday, Bon."

"Thank you." Bonnie answered back, her voice hoarse and a little confused. "But you know today's the ninth, right? My birthday isn't until-"

"Sunday." She ended. "It's a Happy Birthday in advance, Bonnie, obviously. I see that, with age, does not come wisdom."
She'd already known that, of course. She'd experienced it herself, after all.

"King Solomon himself wouldn't have enough wisdom to decode you."

"Graybow decided to splurge, because of the war ending." She began to explain- and she grinned wider, because she so enjoyed bickering with Bonnie. It really did feel best-friend-ish. "She repainted her office, had the Library restocked, and is buying a new telephone set- whatever it is called- and they're going to be putting it in from tomorrow. Might take a few days."

"Ah. Better sooner than later." She nodded on the other end, understanding why her best friend was wishing her happy birthday three days early- and then she coughed, a dry, wracking cough. "By the way, can you understand me?"

"Yes, I've become used to British accents by now."
She had never, ever admitted it to anyone- not even herself- but it had taken her weeks to truly catch everything that Edmund and the other Pevensies and even the Narnians said. She was really glad that the wedding ceremony had been done by a Rihaayan imahm, or she would never have been able to understand a word of the wedding vows.

"Of course you have. How is the extremely unconvincing 'we're just friends' situation with Edmund going, by the way?"

"Great." Sanya replied.
That wasn't a lie.
It was great- for the friendship.
For the evolution into a romantic relationship that they had hoped? Not so much.

They'd gone out on a couple of outings that they had both agreed was more romantic than platonic- but then Edmund had mistakenly mentioned that one of her scars was taking longer to heal, and then Sanya had bristled because she had hoped he would never bring that up again, and he had bristled because he had remembered all her lies, and then they had had sex the moment they'd found their seats in the cinema.

Thankfully, it had been very dark and the hall had been quite empty, since no one else had the taste to watch The Picture of Dorian Gray.
They'd finished soon, the argument having driven them quite wanton and to the edge, and then had watched the film silently and stiffly.
Sanya had broken the silence only once, at the end of the film, when she expressed their mutual disappointment about the censorship of some aspects of the novel and then she had said that, even though she found the actor very handsome, Dorian was supposed to be blonde and cherubic, not dark-haired and mature. Edmund had agreed, saying that he didn't mind the romance with Gladys, even though she hadn't been in the novel and he preferred Dorian and Basil together, but they had made the titular character far too sympathetic and kindly.
Oscar Wilde would have issues with the adaptation, they both were certain.

After that, they'd walked back to school and had silently decided that the 'growing into more' had to be put on hold for the moment.

They kept holding hands, though, very often. Surely that meant that- that the 'on hold' wouldn't be for too long?

"Lots of amazing, friendly sex. That's all I have to say."

"Of course, I should have expected that."
Clearly, her best friend did not want to talk about whatever was going on between she and her- what even was Edmund to her anymore!?
"Anyway, I asked if you could understand me because of the cough." Bonnie started to laugh- which quickly dissolved into coughing. "I hate being ill right before my birthday-"

"You're not ill anymore." Sanya pointed out. She wasn't- she had got over her flu, passed on from her brother, a week ago. "You just have a cough now."
As her best friend finished another bout of coughing, she looked around. This was only her third or fourth- perhaps sixth- visit to the telephone room. Technically, it was an alcove-room off the Headmistress's office, and used as a box-room for books and files and other stationery. It was so wonderfully private- despite Graybow being in the room right next door- and it felt like a miniature bookshop, all for her. It would rain soon- she should bring a book and read here when it did, listening to the pitter-patter against the window-pane.
It did smell a little like mothballs, though.

"Thankfully. Otherwise I'd have had to cancel-" She cleared her throat again, which was the code for 'my date with Susan'. There was no telling when her parents would walk into the room- they had been accepting and wonderful enough with her gender, she didn't want to bother them about her sexuality, either. Not until she felt that whatever relationship she was in was serious enough.
And, currently, she and Susan had defined no relationship- beyond stolen glances and holding hands when no one was looking, and that was only when they could meet. She didn't mind, of course, and she understood why- but she could still hope for something more.
"Speaking of-"

"You didn't speak of."

Bonnie ignored her, "Susan told me about- about-"

This time, Sanya cleared her throat, which was just-now-created code for 'having sex with Susan in Boston and a few times on the ship', and then said, "That?"

"Yeah. And, look, I'm not- not angry at you-"

Try as she did, she could not hold back a sigh of great relief. She had thought that confessing to Edmund would've ended the guilt she felt about sleeping with her sister-in-law- but it had not, not entirely. She should never have done that, she knew- even if she and Ed weren't together then, and Bonnie had consistently denied that she liked Susan- and she would probably feel bad about it forever.
"I'm really so sorry, Bon- I never meant to- to hurt-"

"You didn't." The other girl said promptly. "I was surprised, and a bit disturbed because you and Edmund are basically married, which makes her practically your sister-"

"Hey, Freud, please don't bring incest into the conversation."

"But I'm just telling you about it to ask whether- whether it meant something to you?" Bonnie asked, sounding nervous- Sanya was sure she was on the verge of chewing her braid. "Sleeping with Susan."

"It meant nothing except a momentary break from loneliness." She had no doubt that Susan had told her the exact same thing- but she was asking her about it regardless, because she cared to know her feelings, too. Sanya was so glad to have Bonnie in her life. "It was just nice to know that- that I wasn't- that I wasn't alone."

"You're not alone." Bonnie wished- not for the first time since leaving school, because she missed terribly the comfort of routine and knowing what would happen in your life- that she was back there. She wanted to hug Sanya. "And you'll be even less alone soon enough because- because I got into UoL!"

Sanya was blank.
"What is that?"

"University of London, you ninny!" She should've known that she would be entirely unaware of the institution. "I'll be in London starting- oh, 24th of September. Well, actually, it'll be before that, because I need to fix up my dorm room, and there are other things to take care of-"

"Bonnie, that's-" Heavens, she was happy, so happy for her! "that's- that's fucking-"

There was a loud knock on the wall- specifically, the wall on the other side of which was Headmistress Graybow's office.

"Sorry!" Sanya called to the wall- no cursing, no cursing, she could do it- and then spoke again to her best friend, "that is amazing, Bonnie! Congratulations- what subject- wait, why didn't you tell me before-"

"Geography, and it's a bit hard to speak when you've no voice." She laughed gaily, wishing more than ever that she could embrace her best friend. "And I wanted to wait till I could actually speak with you about it-"

"Alright, alright, fair enough, don't get all defensive." She didn't understand how some people got so high-strung about some things. She, personally, did her best to remain as repressed as possible. It was easier than feeling things, definitely. "You need to call off your dorm- or cancel it- I'm not sure what the process is called-"

"Nya, I need a place to live." She rolled her eyes, and then waved at her brother as he walked by her to head to the kitchen. He was supposed to be at school, but he was milking the flu still- and their parents were too indulgent. "I'm not going to put up in a classroom all twenty-four hours, seven days a week-"

"Obviously I don't expect you to do that." She rolled her eyes as well. She could barely handle one hour in a classroom. "But that university is less than half an hour away from Finchley-"

"How do you even know that-"
Especially since she hadn't even known its acronym!

"Peter's second choice was that." He hadn't even gotten into the university, but somehow it had been his second choice. Always striving for the things that denied him... "I'll ask my grandmother about it, but we do have two extra bedrooms-"

"I can't possibly-"

"If you say burden or impose or bother, I will come to Manchester and beat you over the head with the telephone receiver." She knew Bonnie would say that, because that was what she herself would have said, if she had been in her place. "It'll be like a- a- a sleepover, but every single day. And you can literally ask the driver to take you to uni- it'll be easier than taking the bus, and Maude will finally stop complaining that no one uses the car-"
She really hoped someone had washed the interiors of the car after she and Edmund had been done using it.

Bonnie was quiet for a moment, and then she asked sardonically, "Did you know that you have a violent streak?"

"Yes, and I also know that water is wet."
Still, was it wet, though? Or did it just make things wet? Or- could it be both?
It had been a thousand years since she had posed the question to Edmund- she had no idea why she had thought that stupid question while in the middle of being fucked- and she had yet to find an absolute answer.
She should ask the physics teacher, or the chemistry one. But she feared listening to anything about both those subjects...
"Anyway, like I said, I'll write to my grandmother about it. I'll let you know in a couple of days, and then you can talk to your parents about it."

"Sanya, I don't-"

Sanya used her very last card, and hoped it worked- she was good at being stubborn, but she was not good at taking constant rejection, however kindly given.
"Staying in my house means constant proximity to a certain Pevensie with very pretty eyes- and perhaps more snowy kisses..."

There was another long pause.
Then, clearly trying to not sound giddy, Bonnie said, "I really don't think your grandmother will agree, though-"

"Please, she likes you more than she likes me."

"That is not true-"

"Yes, it is, and you're a lot more likeable than I am-"

Bonnie's voice was slightly apologetic, "That's- a bit true."
Sanya tended to be hostile or aloof, while also being far too quiet and shy- none of them were qualities that most people liked, which meant they didn't like Sanya. But she did! She liked her very much.
"Look- thank you. This means the world, that you're offering this-"

Sanya was alarmed, because her best friend was starting to sound emotional. And there were strange sounds coming from outside- faint horns? They kept going on for long, though, like a ship's horn- or siren. Perhaps it was the- the- hospital car.
But it sounded like more than just one. Probably a gruesome accident somewhere nearby.
Talking slightly louder because of the sirens- and because Graybow had slammed her door very loudly, and she may do it again- she said, "There is no need to thank me, and please don't cry during your birthday week-"

"Shut up, let me talk." She was going to hug and hit her next time she saw her. "Staying with you would mean my parents have to spend loads less money for my food and shelter- money they sorely need-"

"Bonnie, jodi tui cry korish, aami call ke end korchi."
She had asked her, ages ago, if she could teach her some words of her native tongue. Sanya had obliged- after being told firmly that she couldn't include swear words- and she checked, from time-to-time, if Bonnie still remembered.
She was quite glad she had, even though it had been hard to teach her. It had been thirteen hundred years since she had heard and spoken the language. Barring a few words, the rest was rather rusty.

"That means if I cry, you'll end the call." She answered after a quick second's thought. She sounded quite proud. "See, I'm a genius, for sure-"

She scoffed, "Ei, I gave you the noun and all the verbs in English, it doesn't count."

"Yes, it d-"

But there was sudden silence on her end, her voice disappearing- and before Sanya could bellow, "BONNIE?" into the receiver, there was a loud click.
She stared at it in consternation- why did all her telephone calls end that way? Did it have something to do with the hospital sirens-

The door flew open, and Headmistress Graybow burst in, her short auburn-grey hair all in disarray.
She gasped, seeing Sanya there, "You're still here!"

"Yes, I had a phone call." She had actually asked for permission, there was no way that she could be scolded. "But the call-"

"Come on, child!" The Headmistress grabbed Sanya's hand, and pulled her out of the room.
She pulled her along the hallways so fast she couldn't even tell where she was being dragged to- the Dining Hall? But it was after tea-time, what was she taking her there for?
"Thankfully I thought to check to see if you were still there-"

"I asked permission for the-"
It wasn't the Dining Hall they were going to- this hallway led somewhere else- the boiling room, or something? And why was the entire school empty? The halls were usually full of students after tea- and it was about to rain outside, it wasn't like they would be out, either. Many of the lights were switched off, too.
She couldn't even hear shouting- or giggling- or any sound at all-
Sanya felt sudden panic grip her throat. She didn't know what the panic was for, but her brain was creating a thousand different scenarios which could explain the peculiar circumstances- the foremost of which was that the school was a front for a torture chamber or a sexual exploitation ring.

"I don't mean the call, Rainsford, I mean those sirens- wait a moment-"

She tried to stop as instructed- if they stopped, she could pull her hand away, run away, escape- but apparently the Headmistress did not mean the literal 'wait'.

She was staring at her in consternation, "Do you not know what they mean?"

Why ever did she look so terrified? It wasn't like the accident involved her. But the sirens were still going- the accident must have been truly awful...
"Aren't they the sirens of a hospital car?"

"Hospital ca-" This time, the Headmistress did stop, halfway down the stairs that led to the cellar.
She looked very severe indeed- and that was when Sanya knew that she wasn't the leader of an underground mass torture organisation. Only a teacher could look like that.
"It's called an ambulance, Rainsford. And no, the sirens outside are not of that."

Sanya looked at her expectantly.

Many years ago, Imelda Graybow had made a vow to never roll her eyes at any student- no matter how extreme or insipid or trying they may be.
Here, on the ninth of August, she broke that vow.
Rolling her eyes- though the situation was far too serious for such a mocking act- she began to pull the student down the stairs again, "They're the sirens that signalled air raids."

Sanya gaped at her, and in the few moments of being speechless, they reached a door.
Graybow rapped on the door sharply, six times- and it finally opened, a terrified Ms. Potts peeking out.
As soon as she saw the Headmistress and Sanya, she started to cry.

Sanya had no time or patience for criers, so she walked past her and the Headmistress, and into the room. It was a large room, perhaps half the size of the Dining Hall- and it was chock-full of her fellow students and the teachers, and every other person who stayed at the school.
Though she got the idea that they were all thinking of and feeling different things- if one looked blank, the other looked fearful, if one looked angry, the other was trying to make jokes- it was her that they were all staring at.
The pinpricks of anxiety attacked her like knives, and she turned her attention to the room itself. It was like a bunker- stone walls, hardly anything wooden, and there were bundles of blankets in one corner, by which the first formers were standing. Meggie was near there, with the rest of the lower fourth, and she waved nervously at her.

There were no windows, and the air was stale- if there was any air at all- and if the door was closed, she would be locked in, she would be trapped, she'd be a prisoner again-

"Sanya." Mina, pale-faced and breathing heavily, pushed her way through the crowd, and took her hand, clasping it tight. "My goodness, where were you!? Lucy and I were looking for you."

Almost on cue, Lucy appeared from the corner with the first-formers, and wrapped her arms around her sister-in-law in a tight hug. Oh, she had been so worried- for everyone, but Sanya especially, since she was the only one who had absolutely no experience with air-raids.
"Are you alright?"

She nodded, sinking into the hug, and Mina exhaled in relief, "We thought you were dead-"

Sanya smiled weakly- amidst her panic, Mina and Lucy finding her gave her some semblance of reassurance and normality, even though she was sure that that feeling was momentary.

"I'm not that lucky." She said bluntly. "I'm just oblivious. I had no idea the sirens were for the air raids-"

"Some of the children didn't understand it, either. They must've been six or seven during the Blitz."
They remembered it, she was sure. But they had been too young to understand it.
She envied them.

"I should go back to them." The once-Valiant said, glancing to the corner with the children. "Ms. Potts and I were trying to keep them in good spirits, but now that she's-"
Sobbing in Headmistress Graybow's shoulder.
"I should be there." Then she swiftly kissed both the older girls' cheeks. "I'll be right here if you need me."

Once Lucy had gone back to the first-formers, the heiress dragged her friend to a quiet, secluded corner, somewhere where the others weren't quite so- so APPARENT.
The former True Queen turned to Mina as they reached, and said, "The Blitz is over, though."
That was what everyone had told her; and in her three years here, that statement had been proven right. She had never experienced an air raid- or any sort of bombing at all, and she had considered herself fortunate for once.

Oh, Heavens, Edmund- Edmund!

She had to get out of here.

The panic made its way from her throat to her heart, clawing at it, tearing it.
She had seen and embraced Lucy, so she knew she was alright- but she didn't know the same about Edmund. If there was going to be a bombing, she had to be with Edmund- if there already had been a bombing, she had to know that Edmund was alright.
She could not lose him. Not again. She couldn't even think about it.

"It is. It's almost certainly a fluke. I bet the town rang the sirens by accident." Small towns were hilariously stupid, and Mina had always enjoyed making fun of them. In this case, though, the stupidity had the effect of spreading fear- and thus, instead of making fun, she wanted to wring several necks and ask her family lawyer to sue several people. "Wheeting said they'll shut off the sirens soon, and then Graybow can go up and call someone in town to make sure, and then we can get back to whatever we were doing."

She was already shaking her head, "I don't- I can't wait that long, Mina, I need to go-"

She wrinkled her nose, "There are buckets in the corner. Do it away from me- I can't believe we're reduced to behaving like savages-"

"No, I need to get out of here!" Sanya was getting more and more freaked out by the minute. It was so full- and there was no way out- she was trapped! She was trapped here, and she had to get out! "To Edmund- I need-"
She was in the tower again. She was locked and imprisoned again- would it be for a thousand years this time, too?

Mina tightened her grip on Sanya's hand, because the 'Indian' girl really seemed like she was a quarter of a second away from bolting.
"Edmund is fine." She told her, as calmly as she could. Oh, if Sanya had an attack of nerves, she was going to lose it!
She needed a cigarette. A dozen cigarettes!
"You'll see him soon-"

She shook her head even more wildly, her breathing getting erratic, "N-no- no- I need- I need- Edmund- he's- he has to be- we have to be-"

"Sanya, calm down, Edmund is alright, you'll see him soon-"

She couldn't breathe.
She couldn't breathe, and not in the way that Edmund made her breathless, but breathless in a way that made her feel like she was dying- and that wasn't even the end of it- she needed him, she needed to breathe-
"Room- spin-spinni-" She choked out.
Everything was blurring, worse than even when she didn't wear her spectacles- she didn't know claustrophobia felt like this!

"Sanya, Sanya," Mina felt like crying, starting to panic herself. Sanya was always so- so shut-up and closed-off, and- and it was hard watching her be undone like this! She looked around, as wildly as her friend's head-shakes- but who could help? They were all busy and preoccupied about the sirens- no one had even noticed Sanya almost keeling over!
And- who would care about her like she did? Lucy was- she didn't how to call out to her, though, and it was so crowded- and Meghan was a child herself. And everyone else hated Sanya or was disgustingly indifferent.
"Look, just- look at me, alright-"

She was trying- but everywhere was hazy, and she couldn't focus. She never could.
She was trying, she was! But it was all a blur of colours and- and smells- oh, she was starting to feel nauseous- was the ceiling coming closer?

One of the lightbulbs blinked, and then went out, leaving a part of the bunker in darkness.

Sanya gasped, squeezing her eyes shut, and hid her face under her hands. Even that was darkness- all she could see was darkness-

"Oh, no." The blonde bit her lip, seeing Sanya's shoulders begin to shake. She hoped she was crying, and not having a breakdown. Lesser of two evils. "You're alright- you hear me? You're absolutely fine- and we'll get out-"

The galaxies were there again, under her eyelids, sprouting out of the darkness. They were starting to calm her- or, well, make her feel like the walls weren't coming closer to crush her to pulp.
It was going to rain soon- so soon. Perhaps that would lull her to sleep...

"It'll be alright." Mina went on, because she simple couldn't think of anything else to do. Shaking her wouldn't help, would it? "Just listen to me- focus on my voice-"

Focus on me. Me, my voice, me holding you, anything- I'll be your anchor-

"Mina." She managed to say. Her voice was small and her eyes were still firmly shut and her mouth felt so dry, but her breathing was easing. "Min- distract me. Please."

How?
The girl wanted her boyfriend, and she wanted to be distracted.
But Mina couldn't very well kiss Sanya, not in front of everyone else- and what if her friend's breath smelled? She wasn't taking any chances.
Besides, kissing was hardly a good idea to stop panic attacks.
Distraction- what could distract her...
"You wanted to know what the most scandalous thing my friends did back at my old school, right?"

Sanya nodded, mumbling, "Curious. Very curious."

"Well, when I was at Clare's Academy, my friend Darrell found an abandoned shed a few kilometres away and-"

Six anecdotes later, Sanya's eyes were open and were very, very wide as she listened to her friend's frankly astounding stories. She'd had no idea a rubber boot could be used like that.
She couldn't wait to tell Edmund all of this when she got out- if she got out-
No.
"And then?" She asked, clenching her fists- her nails dug into her skin, but they were short, so they didn't tear it. She wouldn't mind if it did- that little sting of pain would keep her sanity intact for however long they had to stay in here.

Mina grinned, and opened her mouth to continue her story-

But before she could say anything, Headmistress Graybow's voice rang out.
"I'm opening the door now, girls. Don't move, any of you-" She added warningly, because there was already an intense shuffle of movement, everyone antsy to make their way out of here, "it's just for me. I'll check if things have calmed, and I'll make a few calls-"

"I'll go with you, Headmistress." Ms. Terrapin said, leaving the first-formers that Lucy had been standing with- half of whom had been in tears and she had been cuddling- to stride towards the Headmistress.

She nodded, "Alright, Bea. Rest of you, stay put- we'll be back as soon as possible."

Mina looked back at Sanya- she was looking panicked again, and she squeezed her hand.

The hand-squeeze was comforting- but after a second, she burst out, "I can't do this- it's been hours-"

"Sanya, it's been half an hour."
None of her school stories would work now. Blast it! If debauchery couldn't hold Sanya's attention- she truly was odd- then what would?
"Did you know that the Princess has corgis?"

Sanya looked at her in bewilderment, "What?"

"Princess Elizabeth. An aunt of mine visited Balmoral Castle a few years ago- she saw the Princesses playing with some fat dogs, she said. The one she got for her birthday last year is called Susan."
That, her aunt had not told her- she had read it in the paper. Honestly, news about dogs in the paper? Instead of descriptions of the Princess's outfit for her eighteenth birthday? Barmy.

"Well-" Sanya was still bewildered, but she could at least formulate a response, "if the Princess likes dogs, she has good taste."

"Rumours say that she's courting her cousin," third cousin, yes, and they hadn't grown up together, but Mina still found the fact deeply strange, "so it can't be that good."

"Marrying relatives is all too common in royalty, I'm afraid." She sighed, remembering her own childhood 'betrothal' to Rabatrash. All because of birth... "I've never understood it, and it's disgusting, but it is what it is."

"Hm." She looked thoughtful. "Would you fall in love with your cousin?"

She snorted, "I once thought that a cousin of mine looked good in his new-" kurta, "shirt, and I wrote six pages in my diary that evening about how disgusting I was. So, no."
If her thought about his looking good needed any defence- it had been a very distant cousin, and she'd just been starting adolescence!
Honestly, she had murdered people, but she was still looking to excuse this fleeting thought she had had at twelve.
"Would you?"

She shrugged, "Don't have any cousins to possibly commit incest with. But even if I did, no. Some things are taboo even for me."

"Like wearing socks with heels."

"Oh, darling, that's not just taboo, that's sacrilegious- even the thought-"

"Girls!" It was Ms. Terrapin, standing in the doorway. She was smiling a very rare smile. "False alarm, dear children. The town's been going through some construction, and it seems someone set off the air raid alarm and then could not turn it off. The Headmistress says all's fine- she has spoken to the other schools and institutions nearby, and they're all completely alright-"
But then she laughed.
"Except Hendon House didn't pick up the telephone. Those silly boys must've heard the sirens and thought it was an ice-cream truck."

Most of the room burst into laughter- such was the relief in the atmosphere, they would have laughed at anything.
But Sanya didn't. She went pale, and the ease of breath left her.

"Sanya-" Mina followed after her friend, who was elbowing mercilessly through the crowd that was thronging to get out of the bunker, "hold on-"

Sanya pushed a trio of fifth-formers, and finally made her way out of the accursed, window-less, dim room.
She should've been glad about this. She should've climbed the staircase up to the ground floor, and then breathed in relief that she was out.
But her mind was on what the teacher had said.

Hendon House didn't pick up the telephone.

The air-raid had been a false bell. But something else might be true.
"I have to go." She said loudly as she reached the entrance hall, because she knew that Mina was right behind her. "I'm going to Hendon-"

"I'm sure-"

"No, you're not!" She wheeled around, just shy of the door. Mina looked struck, and she took a surprised step backwards. "No, you're not, because you can't be. Don't be fucking naïve, Mina."

A muscle twitched in Mina's cheek.
"It's raining." She spoke quietly, pushing that heat of irritation low.
She wasn't angry with her.

If she loved someone like Sanya loved Edmund- she would have been saying a lot worse.

Actually, she said a lot worse even now, despite the fact that she was certainly not in love.
There were no Princes around...If she ever met Princess Elizabeth and she told her that she liked corgis, would she break up with that Philip fellow for her?
But that was so much of a bother. Princess Margaret was single- but she was three years younger, and Mina was not a cradle-robber.
Back to Elizabeth, then.

Neither were exactly beauties- but her parents would be so proud if she bagged a Royal. Honestly, they might not even care that they were both women.
"You can't-"

"I have to."
She had to make sure, rain or hail or snow or storm, that Edmund was alright.
She walked towards Mina, almost on instinct, and then wrapped her arms around her, again on instinct. It was the first time in years that she had initiated an embrace that wasn't with Edmund- and she let herself sink into it for a moment, and Mina hugged her back.
"Sorry for snapping at you." If it had been anyone else, she would have physically snapped- a lot harder to apologise for. "And thank you for keeping me calm there."

"Keep you calm?" Mina pulled away, looking shocked. So shocked, indeed, that Sanya could tell that she was pretending, possibly. "No, no, I was just reliving my glory days."

"I'd continue the banter, but I have to go." She was itching to- her body felt like it was on fire, and being pushed into a bed of thorns again, and she would never find respite unless she found Edmund. "Bye."

And then she ran outside.

It wasn't quite raining yet- it was only drizzling. She had feared slipping in the mud and never making it to her destination- but the ground wasn't difficult to traverse, even for her. For once, the stars had aligned for her, and then she was running again, heedless of the rapidly-increasing rainfall and how the clouds covered the Moon, darkening the world.

She had to run, because she had to be at Hendon as soon as possible- to find Edmund, to hug him and never let him go.

Her stomach soon in stitches, she felt nauseated again.
Her breathing was getting difficult once more- Hendon was quite near, but somehow, it felt like she was yet again in the Garden of the Gods, making her way through an endless patch of torture.

She forced herself to focus on her surroundings.
Better to look at the shadows on the ground, to glance at the fluttering leaves on the trees, to listen to the soft patter of the raindrops- than to think about what was going on in her head, and what was brewing in her heart, and her fears of what she may see.

Soon, but also long after, the clouds parted to reveal the Moon, and she reached the gates of Hendon House.

The entrance gate was open, as it usually was before supper-time- she ran inside, and her heart dropped.

It was in complete darkness.
There was not one light on- not at the front door, not in any of the windows- and when she pushed the door, it gave in easily- as though someone had already unlocked it.

It was dark inside, too. The hall, the stairs- she looked up, and as far as the eye could see, there was darkness. She could see only the silhouette of the potted plants by the staircase.

Sanya felt pure dread seize her by the throat, and it was all she could do to not turn and bolt back to where there was light.

"Hello?" She called, stepping in. She had left the door open, and some light came from outside, letting her step forward without stumbling. If this was a horror novel-

She turned around sharply, just in case some ghoul was waiting for her. But there was nothing- no one.

There had to be that board around somewhere- which allowed you to turn lights and fans on and off- but where?

"Edmund!" She yelled, heading towards the longest hallway- the Headmaster's office was at the end of it, along with a bunch of store rooms. She had never spoken to him, but if he was there-
But he wouldn't be there. No one was there. It was empty. It was quiet, save for the sound of the rain.
And it was just so dark. Pitch-black. She couldn't go any further from the entrance hall, because the light from the outside did not help beyond a few feet. If she went beyond that, she would be lost to the darkness.

Holding the wall with one hand, she closed her eyes, her heartbeat dangerously high.

Her two worst fears. Losing Edmund and the dark, coupled together like some unholy union. It was like Doctor Poison and Mars teaming up with each other to fight and destroy Wonder Woman.

She snorted suddenly. Mars had taken away Wonder Woman's beloved, Steve Trevor, in one of the issues a couple of years ago. And now the dark was keeping her from being with her beloved. She wondered if the dark had three evil lieutenants like the God of War did, too.

As she made more literary comparisons to her real life, and she berated herself for doing that instead of anything worthwhile- there was a sudden spark beyond her closed eyelids, like fireworks lighting up the darkest sky for a brief moment.

She opened her eyes again in surprise, and more than a little anxiety, because light did not always mean good.
But this time, it did.

The lights were back on.

And the hallway wasn't empty anymore. Boys were wandering towards it, walking out of one of the doors on the far end of the hallway- if Sanya had been thinking of anything but Edmund, she would have realised that that door probably led down to the bomb shelter.

She took no notice of the Hendon students gaping at her as they passed her- they looked more rattled at seeing a girl in their school than their time in the bunker- because they were so far below her notice, they may as well be in the Underworld.
Her eyes sought her love. She craned her neck, her heart firmly lodged in her throat, and she looked.

For several torturous moments, moments that felt like millennia- she looked.

And then he was there.
He was one of the last ones to come out, and Sanya watched him nod at Clarke and a few other boys- probably classmates- and at his form-master- and her face crumpled.
He was alright. He really was. He was safe.

Edmund turned his gaze away from his teacher, looking to the front- and, across the long hallway, their eyes met.

Without quite meaning to, she began to run.
Sanya's heart had still not calmed from the run outside and from the panic of her nyctophobia, but she did not care. Her heart could stop working completely, for aught she cared- as long as it stopped after she had flung her arms around Edmund again.

Edmund was walking towards her, too, faster and faster, his feet carrying him forward like Hermes's Talaria.

He had refused to acknowledge it, but the moment the sirens had gone off, he had become wracked with inordinate worry- actually, it was extremely ordinate, considering what the sirens signalled. He worried for his sister- and he worried for Sanya, so much. He'd spent the time in the shelter alternating between being worried and being annoyed and being scared.

But now he was out of the shelter- and the love of his life was here, and his worry could cease.

"You're alright!" Sanya cried, throwing her arms around his neck, as Edmund wrapped his around her waist. "You're alright- you're alright, husband- you're alright-"

"I am- I am." He murmured into the crook of her shoulder, burying his face into the softness of her shirt. "I'm completely alright- Moonshine, are you-"

"I'm alright! Lucy is, too- she's okay-" She added quickly, knowing that he would be worried for his sister. "She's still back at school-"

"Oh, good- good, I was so worried about the both of you- I'm so happy you're alright-"

She nodded, feeling like she was close to weeping.
"I'm alright- but- but I was so-" Sanya shook her head wildly. "I thought- Graybow said that Hendon House didn't pick up the telephone- and I- I was- I was so scared- I came here, and it was all dark. So- so dark."

She wasn't letting go of him, and he was utmost grateful. He never wanted to let go again. The air-raids and all it elicited in him had been something he had thought he would never feel again.
"Some meathead jammed the door of the shelter, and another meathead knocked into the switchboard, shutting everything off. We just managed to get the power on and open the door-" He shook his head, strands of her hair tickling his cheek, "I fear for my gender, honestly."
He kissed her shaking shoulder.
"I'm sorry for worrying you, darling. But I'm here now- we're together, everything's alright-"

She wasn't even ashamed to realise that she could have sobbed- in fact, she was rather close to doing exactly that. To hell with Queens not crying- there was no one in any world, who would not have cried had they been standing in her shoes.
He was here in her arms, and their hearts beat in tandem, pressed against each other- oh, she was so glad- so happy. This was what she had wanted. What she would always want. Him.
She pulled back, tears running down her cheeks- but her voice was firm. Determined.
"Marry me."

He stared at her, blank shock spreading over his face.
"What?"

"Marry me." She'd say it again. She would say it as many as times as was needed. "I love you, Edmund. Marry me."

"I-"

"We've been apart too long- you know we have, darling." Oh, she had to lower her voice- even more people were staring now. "You love me-"

He could never lie about that, "I do love you-"

"And I have loved you a thousand years."
And, dead or alive, she would love him for an infinite number more.
"We- we're meant to be husband and wife- soulmates-"
Ever and ever after- they were supposed to be together.

Edmund swallowed, "Sanya-"

Oh- Sanya. He was calling her Sanya.
He was going to say no.
Of course he was going to say no. How stupid could she be- how much of a fool!?
"I understand." She quickly extricated her arms from him, her brown cheeks flaming and her heart sinking once more. She kept her gaze firmly at a spot above his shoulder, because she didn't think she would be able to bear seeing his face. "I'm glad you're alright."
Then she turned, pushing through the crowd of chattering boys- oh, she was so embarrassed, they had seen all that! As though the heartbreak wasn't bad enough, she'd made a public spectacle of herself, to be mocked and jeered at for ages to come!
She all but shoved the large jersey-wearing boy who was standing near the front door, and she ran outside into the thundering rain.

Once outside the gates of Hendon House, Sanya stopped running. She was tired of it- and tired in general. She saw no point in running. She had no urgent need or desire to satiate, anymore. She had nothing. She could walk, or sink to the ground, or do whatever- it didn't matter. She didn't need to half-kill herself by running again.

And the Moon was shining, placid and calm in a way Sanya had perhaps never been- she could try to emulate that, for a few moments.

The rain fell harder than ever, soaking her to the bone. It felt so nice, caressing her like a mother's embrace- she wasn't wearing her glasses, so there was no chances of the water fogging up the glass either.
She could take in everything about her dreamlike surroundings, even though it was true that the world went blurry a few metres ahead.

The water, the petrichor, the moonlight lighting a path before her- had there been a more beautiful night to experience heartbreak?

Another heartbreak, she thought, after a few minutes of walking ahead slowly.

Her walk was in silence and she'd been lost in rapture over how romantic an evening like this was- and how it thrilled the bookworm inside her.
Had she had her heart broken every year that she had been alive and not under the influence of poppy-air?

"Sanya!"

Oh, Heavens.
She wasn't turning around.
"I'll be fine getting back, Edmund." She said, hearing his footsteps get closer. In all her gazing and dreaming, she must have missed the sound of running behind her. "You don't need to escort me."
She was already halfway there anyway.

"Please- please stop-"

She did not stop.

Edmund's steps slowed, his shoes sinking into the watery mud, and he felt despair. If she didn't want to talk to him- if she truly didn't- he would not make her. He'd been- he had been a 'dickhead', as she would say.
But he wanted one last try.
"Please- Moonshine!"

Sanya faltered, and she stopped walking.
She still didn't turn around- she had some resolve left- but she asked, "What is it?"

He'd reached her by then, and there was hardly a few inches between them. But she still had her back to him.
"Moonshine." He wanted to hold her like he had just minutes ago. "Look at me."

"No. Go away, Ed." She clenched her fists, hoping the action would keep her from caving. "Please. You've walked away from me many times already. Just add this one to the list."

Ouch. That was a low blow- but he did deserve it, and more. He had left her so many times- and he shouldn't have done that, not a single one of those times. He should have always been with her.
"I'll leave-"

"Good."

"But don't you want to know what I have to say? Aren't you curious-"

She spun around, looking cross, "Of course I'm curious! You were the one who likened me to that cat! How can you even ask-"
Then she fell silent, seeing the small grin on his infuriatingly beautiful face. The stupid rain made him look even prettier!
"Oh." He had put his wiles to use. "I hate you."

"No, you don't."

"I want to, though."

"No, you don't."

She scowled at him, "Shut up, Ed."
But then the fight sagged out of her, and she squeezed her eyes shut. At least if she started crying, it would seem like it was the rain.
She opened her eyes soon- because there were tendrils of fear all around her heart that told her that it might be the last time she would look at Edmund's face.

The rain had plastered his damp hair to his forehead- but that was not what she looked at the most, though he was so very lovely with wet hair.
The starlight had settled onto his face, making his cheeks and freckles glow- he looked heavenly. He called her divine, but it was he who looked it. If she wrote poems, all of them would be for and of him. Not that she would ever let anyone read it, though- save for Edmund, of course.

She ought to take him in as much as possible- because he would probably be leaving her again. And perhaps this time, it really would be for good.

It was fine. She'd move to India and hopefully get eaten by a Royal Bengal tiger. Or she would keep one as a companion.

But before that happened- she had to go through with this heartwrenching conversation.

She took several deep gulps of air several times- he left her breathless, but that wasn't ideal while talking- before finally giving up. She had to get it over with.
Probably once and for all.
"What do you want, Edmund?"

Edmund answered truthfully, "I want you."

"Do you?" Sanya asked, ignoring the somersaults and cartwheels that had suddenly and quickly replaced the tendrils. "No, I don't think you do."

His smile grew, and he took a step closer to her.
"I do."

"No, you don't, because you had me!" He had won, earned, and owned her heart. "You had me- you had me and my love and my heart for a thousand years. You chose to throw it all away- more than once- a few times, actually, one being rather recent-"

His smile faded as quickly as it had grown, "I sense you're talking about five minutes ago-"

"So perceptive, Pevensie."

"Indeed I am, Reza-Pevensie." He answered without missing a beat. Then he bit his lip, and looked at her.

His Moonshine was bathed in moonlight, looking nearly ethereal- especially with the contrast of the dark, dusky world all around her.
Oh. He truly wished he could paint. He wanted to capture her beauty on canvas- but he would keep it to himself, he thought, because it was really only Sanya who deserved to see it.

Perhaps he had teased her enough.

"I have no excuses for the other times," and even if he had, those excuses deserved no understanding and mercy, "but I have a reason for today. I was shocked, Moonshine."

She gave him a look, "Yes, I could tell from your tone of surprise. I'm not that oblivious."

He swallowed again, "We agreed to be friends."
Sure, he had thought that they could grow to be more- but so soon? And marriage?
Anyone would've been tremendously taken aback- yes, even those who had been married to each other before.

"It's us, Ed. Us." Her voice grew in volume, to make it heard over the din of the pouring rain. "We have never been just friends a single day in our lives together."

The world was silver and dark and glowing and dreadful all at once, and it spurred him to argue back, "It was your idea-"

"We both know that I'm not the one with the good ideas in this relationship." She scoffed- she wasn't quite sure who it was directed at. "I don't want to be just friends with you. I love having sex with you, but I love you more. I'm in love with you. I want- I want all of you, I have for so long-"

So had he. So did he.
"Then why-"

"I- a new beginning is supposed to make things better. And I wanted us to be something that didn't hurt you anymore."

"I didn't want us to cause you any more pain, either."
She didn't want to hurt him, he didn't want to hurt her. Heartbreak still ensued.
"That's why I agreed to being friends. Being anyway close to you- it was better than being apart again. But that just ended up slowly wrecking both of us- and I hate that, because I’ve hurt you so many times already- and especially after the break-up, I didn't want to hurt you again.”
But he still had.

Sanya swallowed, "You broke up with me because of- because I needed you too much."

Edmund bit his lip, "It wasn't just that. You know it wasn't. But yes- you were a little suffocating."

She nodded- she had already known that. The co-dependency, the silences, the secrets- many reasons. Too many.
"I did need you- I still do. But I'm not- I can live without you, alright? I'm not crippled if you're not by my side." She just preferred it when he was. "I survived a thousand years without you, remember- and this last year in America, too-"

"I'm aware of that, believe me. You've always been- been self-reliant."
He remembered how she had told him once, while cleaning his wounds, that she had learnt to do that and bandage injuries because she disliked asking for help. She hated speaking up in general, no matter for what, but that had been different.
She, who had palaces full of servants and handmaidens and courtiers, had wanted to take care of herself- and so she had taught herself one vital skill that would help her with that. She may not have known all the things needed to live on one's own- occupational hazard of being born royal- but this little act had been impressive enough.
"And so unbelievably strong." There were so many examples coming to the forefront of his mind as he said that. "It's aweing."

Why was he being so sweet? Why was he talking about how he didn't want to hurt her, and about how he wished to be near her? What could she even say to that!?
Oh, he was so lovely and so good and he was the stars to her- and she loved him. She loved him so much he made her heart contract and expand and flutter and fly. If she could physically give her heart to him, she would, because it was already his- and it forever would be.
But he didn't want that, did he?
"Just- just go, Edmund! Go back to school-"

"But I wanted to talk to you-"

"You could've talked then instead of saying my name like that-"

"I was surprised." He argued back, scowling as well. Her eyes were so bright- bright like the Moon- and he already felt the scowl begin to fade to a soft look. "You asked me to marry you!"

"I know that-"

"After saying all that about starting over-"

"I said that because-"
Oh, she was starting to shout again. Yes, the rain was loud, but she did not need to shout.
She took a deep breath, and went on, "I said that because I didn't want to cause you any more pain. I didn't want my love for you to kill you again."

"I know- I know."
He did. Being friends had been the only way to be together, without actually being together- because being together was only hurting them.
He lifted a hand, pushing a stray strand of wet, straw-like hair away from her face- and then he smiled a sad little smile, "But there's no one I'd rather have putting a sword through my heart."

That was macabrely romantic, and she wanted to laugh- and it was right then that she realised that she would soon be bursting into sobs.

Her bottom lip wobbled, and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Threading her fingers into the soft, wet hair at his nape, she gazed at him- the raindrops on his face were more numerous than his freckles- and said, "Our love is still pain. Nothing- nothing important has changed."
She was still- troubled, to say the least. He still deserved better than someone who hurt him so much.

But had nothing really changed? She had told him the truth- the whole truth. He was no longer being consumed by agony because of her secrets. They were open with each other again- but did that mean that they ought to be Edmund-and-Sanya once more?

"Exactly." He nodded- and now she looked shocked, staring up at him, the rivulets of rain running down her face like waterfalls. "The most important thing hasn't changed."
Love flickered in his dark eyes, as he looked into her moonlit ones- and then it stayed there. And he knew, as surely as he knew his name, that it would never leave. Not even shift.
Not again- never again.
"It's still you, Moonshine." His hands cupped her face, and he bowed his head closer to her. "You're the love of my life."

Her lips parted, and he was kissing her, rain falling over them like a blanket from the Heavens.
Sanya was half-crying and half-laughing as she kissed him harder, her arms around him- and Edmund could taste the salt of his tears, mixing in the taste of the raindrops on their skin.

"Wait- wait-"
She pushed him away suddenly, pulling her hands from him to wipe at her face. It was stupid, since it was raining and her cheeks would not stop being wet until they got under some shelter- but she really was too overjoyed to think of anything intelligent.
She dropped to her knees, still making that odd crying-laughing sound, and she looked up at him.
"Ed-Edmund Arthur Pevensie-" Sanya was smiling so widely, her bright eyes aglow with love and tears, "will you- will you marry me? Again?"

Edmund had looked confused as she'd broken the kiss- and he had been afraid that she had changed her mind.
But now he was grinning again, and sniffling, too- and the sniffles weren't just because he'd have a bad cold.
It would be completely worth it.
"Yes." He nodded solemnly- as solemnly as possible while smiling like that, anyway. But then he threw solemnity to the rains, "Yes, yes, I will!"
He dropped to the ground, too, and he took her warm hands in his.
He was down on one knee. He hadn't had the chance to do this before- he might as well do it properly.
Somewhat properly.
"Sanya Reza, will you marry me?"

"Yes-" Oh, that sound was more of a sobbing-laugh than a crying-laugh- Sanya had never made it before, but it was alright, she didn't think she had felt like this before, either. "A thousand- thirteen hundred times, yes!"

They kissed again, holding hands, kneeling in the soft rain-laden mud, and would probably have kept on like that, unless a bolt of lightning shocked them into separating.
But then Edmund remembered something. Something very important, according to the rules of engagement.
"Hey-" He pulled away gently, "I don't have my ring with me right now-"

"Nor do I-"
It was still safely nestled in- either her suitcase, or one of her drawers. She couldn't quite remember, though she was absolutely certain that it was safe.
But it was near perfect- it was beautiful, it was wonderful, it was every single positive adjective, because he was there! She wanted nothing else, because he was enough.
Her husband. Her Eros. Her anchor. The love of her life.

"But I have this, my love."
He fished out a thin silvery ribbon from his pocket.
It was her crescent moon necklace.
He had been wanting to give it back for so long. And he had wanted her to ask for it back, too. But she had never asked- and he had never thought it the right time to give it back. And maybe it was right that he had not returned it before- if there was anything in the world that was fate, then perhaps it was meant to be that re-giving the necklace was saved for this very moment.
Sanya would be happier to get it back in this moment, than she would have in any other- and it was her happiness that mattered most.
He held out to her, and chuckled wetly, "I've been carrying this around with me since you threw it at my face."

Sanya took it, and then smiled. Just when she had thought things could not get better.
"Seal it with a necklace?"

Edmund's smile matched hers, "And another kiss as well, Moonshine?"

"Sounds perfect."

-
-✧･: °*✧*°:･✧-
-

(MEANINGFUL HUGS JUST HAVE TO BE THERE)
-

('TIS A TRILOGY NOW.)
-

Can you believe this is the first Edmanya rain kiss I've ever written? I mean, it's a pretty exceptional scene to have it in, but SERIOUSLY? HOW DID IT TAKE ME SO LONG???????
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It's my birthday. I am, sadly, twenty. Please still call me a teenager.

Sanya and Edmund had their 'true wedding' in Ch35 of 'Alliance', which basically really joined their souls, and in 'Fairytale?' they get engaged and get back together in Ch35 as well, pulling their souls close again. This parallel WAS intentional.

See, I told you this was a momentous chapter.
The depth of Susan's forgetting, Bonnie hopefully moving into the Rainsford house, the panic of an apparent air-raid- and, of course, screaming and crying and kissing in the rain for Edmund and Sanya, along with another proposal! And he gave her her necklace back 🥺🥺 cherry on top.

That whole scene is just *chef's kiss*. I did say that they would need to have more blow-ups to truly clear the air between them- and I think they have, now. They had the talk about the other things- their children, their worlds, their past- last time; but for this, it was just them and their feelings. It was only them.
And it's them now. Them together. They're Edmund-and-Sanya again, in every way.
In the silver light of the Moon and the stars, and in the dark of a tree-lined world, they are once again together. Finally.

'Oh, he was so lovely and so exquisite and so good, and she loved him. She loved him so much he made her heart contract and expand and flutter and fly. If she could physically give her heart to him, she would, because it was already his- and it forever would be' and 'But there's no one I'd rather have putting a sword through my heart'- SANYA AND EDMUND, YOU POETS (when it comes to each other.)

Okay, other things, before I get wholly distracted. 😬
Oh, Susan, Susan, poor Susan. Poor, bitchy Susan. Her siblings giving her space making things worse, her siblings confronting her making things worse- they can't win, and she keeps losing more of herself.
Okay, but how cool is the fact that Peter blew his top, and then she just laughed at him? That's mf'ing badass.

I'm glad Sanya and Bonnie manage to talk, even though the latter is not in school anymore. Of course, they're best friends- life finds a way. And Sanya hates being on the telephone, but she's so comfortable with Bonnie on it? And Bonnie asking her to teach her language, without even knowing that Sanya is the last Rihaayan?
That is best friendship.

And Mina is also great. Coming up with all sorts of stories to help distract Sanya from her panic attack- while still being utterly herself. And the talking about dogs- stroke of genius. Involves both dogs, which Sanya likes, and royalty, which Mina is interested in.

Sanya has really good friends. Moonlight can rest easy on that front.

But despite the blonde beauty's attempts, there is nothing in any world that can make Sanya calm when it's Edmund's safety at stake.

Sanya braved the dark for Edmund. THE DARK. The fear that has tormented her since she was a small child.

Wait, I just realised something. Their first emotional and actually conducive to their relationship talk happened in Ch30, in the cold. Their second emotional and actually conducive to their relationship happened now, in the dark.
Edmund's fear and Sanya's fear. How does this keep happening. What parallels, omg.

You know, I was talking to someone about Edmanya's love languages the other week, and we decided that literally every love language fits them, each and every one. But as I reread this chapter and edited it, I realise their love language is marriage 💀.

Any sort of overflow of romantic feelings they feel, and it's instantly, 'let's get married (again)!'. One wedding in Rihaaya, one in Narnia, and one in England.

This is going to be their third wedding.
I can genuinely see Edmund like getting a cut and Sanya bandaging him, and he's just so enamoured and touched that she's healing him, he goes, 'let's get married again'. Sanya doesn't even look up, but she smiles and says yes happily.

The true miracle of this chapter wasn't Edmanya getting together and getting engaged (again), it was that Sanya didn't fall down on the muddy and slippery ground.
But Ed would have been there to catch her.

This chapter was 9.7K words last time I checked. Now it is 10.9K words. What even. When did I even add so many revisions to it. I do not remember.

And, as always- I humbly and unashamedly ask you to vote on the chapters, and perhaps comment, too :)