There is the faith that never fails,
The courage in the danger place,
The duty seen, and duty done,
The heart that yearns for all in need,
-

Caspian had a beard, and Edmund didn't know whether he wanted to shave it off in his sleep or mock him about it for the duration of the voyage on the Dawn Treader.

But he decided to do neither- instead, he asked impishly, "Do you think Peter would've tolerated beard-burn to kiss you?"

Caspian went pink. He'd given the young man his torch back, and even offered to hand Rhindon over to him- and this was how he was treated. Of course. He wondered how in the world his aunt tolerated him.
He wished Sanya was here. He wished Peter was here. He wished Edmund didn't make fun of him.
"As I was saying," the King went on, as though he wasn't the same shade as a cherry-blossom, "the countries are almost as prosperous as they had been in the Golden Age- and there's peace all over Narnia. In just three years."

"And-" Lucy was aware she had never sounded more like Edmund, all mischief and levity and gaiety she had thought she had lost in the Golden Age, "have you found yourself a consort in those three years?"

"No." Caspian was still pink, and he was smiling slightly as he looked down- but there was something sad in his expression. "None to compare with your brother."

Edmund had his torch back and he held a sword for the first time in two years later that afternoon, and he was so glad about it, he even let Caspian- not win, he wasn't that merciful- settle into a draw against him, their swords sweeping along each other in a stalemate.
So glad, in fact, that he hadn't even made faces when Eustace- the dreaded cousin had, dreadfully enough, made his way into Narnia, something that was dreadful for all three of them, in vastly different ways- had spoken about his 'acute disposition' and his 'intelligence'.
Alright, that was a lie. He had made faces. Just not ones that warranted having a spit-ball spat at his face.

But he wasn't glad for long.

The voyage wasn't a joy-ride; it was a mission, it had a purpose, and Caspian was Captain Ahab, searching for the elusive Moby Dick- in this case, instead of a naughty whale, it was seven long-lost Lords.

"But the Lone Islands have always been Narnia's!" Edmund said, as he pulled away the spyglass away from his face. He had been looking at the island in the distance- it seemed so quiet, so empty, but what was the most surprising was that there was not a single Narnian flag in sight.

"Seems suspicious." Drinian, the ship's captain, said, his face more worried than unimpressed, as it had been for the past couple of days that Edmund and Lucy and Eustace had been on the ship.

They absolutely had to go down and find out what was happening. It wasn't a rebellion Edmund was anxious about- it was that he feared something bad had happened to the people. Now that he was in Narnia- he would help them, like he'd ached to do for two years.
"I say we prepare a landing party."

To his- yet again- surprise, Drinian did not immediately nod and go to do as he'd said.
Instead, he hesitated, and looked at Caspian, who seemed even more solemn.
"Forgive me, Your Majesty... but the chain of command starts with King Caspian on this ship."

What?
Edmund felt like his brain went blank for a second, and all he could feel was dismay.
What?
The only reason Caspian was King was because he and his siblings had given their blessings, and because he was part of his wife's royal lineage!
Yet now he had the audacity to-
But before he could let that spark of anger grow, he pushed it down. He and Sanya and his siblings had left Narnia, entrusting its care to Caspian.
Caspian had ruled well, and was ruling well, and he had the right to be of highest rank on the ship.
"Right." The Just King said, trying to hide the dismay as well.

Caspian cleared his throat- he wanted to apologise, but apologise for what? He was being a King, he was leading- none of that ought to hurt Edmund.
"We'll use longboats." He spoke to Drinian, deciding to not look at his aunt's husband. "Drinian, pick some men-"

As Drinian and Caspian walked away, Edmund took a deep breath.
It was alright. Protecting Narnia did not require being the highest command on the ship.

Besides, as he- and Lucy, and Caspian- learnt soon enough, being a King or of high rank did not save one from being attacked and locked up by slave-traders.

If anything happens to Lucy, Edmund thought, as he climbed up to see through the bars of the small, dark prison, people will be more terrified of me than any damn mist.

Caspian had been staring through the bars, as well, but when the Lord- Lord Bern, one of the Seven he had been searching for- had begun to speak of the mist, of where it had first been seen, he had climbed back down and was listening intently.

"We Lords made a pact," Lord Bern said, trembling and very near to sobbing, "to find the source of the mist to destroy it.

Caspian felt sick, but he nodded at him to continue.
His people- oh, all this had been happening to his people, and he hadn't even known! What would his father have said?
His father would never have let this happen.

"They each set sail... but none came back." Bern turned to Caspian, laying a shaky hand on the taller man's shoulder. His eyes shone with tears, as he looked into the face so similar to the King he had once loved. "You see, if they don't sell you to the slave traders... you're likely to be fed to the mist."

Edmund could hear what the Lord had not said, but seemed more clear than the Moon on a cloudy night.
A worse fate, in each and every way.
"We have to find Lucy." He jumped down from the ledge of the window, striding to Caspian. Anxiety and anger swirled around inside him, and he wished he had asked Sanya how she dealt with that churning. "Before it's too late."

They did find Lucy, thankfully- even with her hands chained and even though she was half the size of the others, she fought better than most of them- and Eustace, too, a little less than thankfully.

Edmund even got a sword out of it- it wasn't a gift from Santa Claus, but it was from the Golden Age- his Golden Age- and, as the Lord said, had been gifted by Aslan Himself.
As he gazed at the sword- oh, he needed to scrape off all the stone gunk over it- Edmund wished that he had found a sword on his own, as opposed to being gifted one by Caspian.

But when Reepicheep told him that it would be a fine sword someday, he couldn't help but smile.
Hopefully sooner than someday, he thought, continuing to polish the sword.
-

Not seconds after Reepicheep attacked Eustace- Edmund felt that he was quite justified for it, as his cousin had grabbed the mouse's tail, in addition to stealing an orange- the barrels tipped over, and a little girl climbed out of one.

Edmund felt his heart lurch as he saw messy brown hair and a pink frock, and he wondered- for a beautiful, absurd moment- if this was how he was to reunite with his daughter. Daughters.

But as a crew member they had picked up in the Lone Islands- Rhince, who had lost his wife and whom Edmund had convinced Caspian to take aboard- sprang forward to pull her into his arms, he realised the little girl wasn't his daughter, but someone else's.

"Gael?" Rhince cried, hugging her tight to his chest. "What are you doing here?"

The girl was, however, far too panicked and afraid of a scolding to talk, and Lucy soon moved to the father and daughter.

"It's alright-" the Valiant Queen smiled her open, friendly smile, "don't worry, you're safe!"

"Looks like we have extra- crew member." Drinian commented, climbing down to the deck. "Your Majesty-"

"Yes, of course. She can stay with me." Lucy nodded immediately- they weren't the only girls on the ship, of course, but they were the only ones who weren't sailors. Not to mention, they both were the youngest on the ship.
As Susan had always had her back, Lucy would have Gael's.
Susan hadn't just been a beautiful Queen- she'd been a wonderful big sister.
Lucy hadn't been much of the former, and she couldn't help but think bitterly that the same might be true for the latter.
"Caspian's quarter is too big for just me, anyway."

Edmund spotted the orange that had begun the debacle inches away from his feet, and he bent down to scoop it in his hand.
"Hey." He called softly, as he reached the child. She turned towards him, her pale eyes wide and scared.
She could never have been Selene- how could he have had that hope? His daughter had had eyes as brown as her mother's- and she had been chubbier, far more tan, and her hair had been as dark as ink.
And she had outgrown pink at the age of three.
Selene had been four when he'd left, but this girl- Gael- was around eight.
He held out the fruit to her, a small smile on his face despite the dashed hope.
"Care for an orange?"

Her lips trembled, but she nodded, holding her hand out.

Edmund dropped the fruit into her little palm, and stepped away as soon as her fingers had clenched over it.
He didn't want to frighten her- and, besides, Lucy had her.

He turned away from the crowd that had gathered, and walked back to Caspian's office- stressing about the journey seemed a better way to spend the day than remembering his gone children.
Even if it did mean that he'd be in the vicinity of Caspian's twitchy little beard.
He wished Sanya was here. She'd have made fun of it, too.
--

Lucy was kidnapped, and Edmund hadn't had more than an hour of sleep- the latter phenomenon was quickly becoming the norm.

"Where's Lucy!?" He asked worriedly, searching through the sheet she had been lying on mere hours ago. Both of them had been awake throughout the night- Lucy had been reading a book she'd found in Caspian's quarters, one Edmund was fairly sure he had seen Sanya reading once, until she'd drifted off to sleep. He'd somehow fallen asleep an hour before dawn, too.
"Lucy?" He called, frantically looking around, as Caspian- the only other one awake, because of course he was- did the same. "Lucy!"

"Everybody up!" The Telmarine King called sharply, and Drinian and Rhince, along with a few others, shot up, groggy and surprised.

"Get up!" The captain roared, immediately understanding something was wrong. "Get up, I say!"

Before half of them had even had the opportunity to throw off their sheets, Edmund had started striding ahead- did he care that they were on a strange island, the dangers and everything about it absolutely unknown?
No, he did not. He only cared about finding his sister.

Caspian soon caught up to him, putting those disgustingly tall legs to use.
"Do you think she's wandered off?" He asked in a low voice, looking to the younger King. "Pete told me she has a tendency to-"

"Yes, when she was a toddler." His words came out sharper than he had intended. "She isn't one anymore."
But she did still have a tendency to do that. He had just been making a joke about that to Oscar the day before they had stumbled into Narnia again.

The other man nodded, and sighed, "At least she isn't as reckless as Aunt Sanya-"

"Don't." Edmund snapped. "Don't talk about Sanya. P-please."
Wasn't it bad enough that he was here without her? That he was home- that he was in her world, even more so than it was his? He had to listen to Caspian talk about her, too?

"I apologise." But, yet again, Caspian did not know what he was apologising for. "If I may ask-"

Seriously? He was asking this now? While his sister was missing?
Very well, Edmund would indulge him, if only to lessen his own anxiety about Lucy.
"I broke up with her."
There. He'd said what Sanya had been convinced of for months.
That it wasn't just a break, but a break-up.
"Alright? Happy? I broke up with her," and she ran off to America, and I decided to run off to a war, "and- and-"

He broke off, colliding into something.

Or- someone?

But he could only see air before him- that, and the magnificently arranged bushes and topiaries that were all around here.

"Drop the sword!"

Was this an enchantment? Or was he hearing things?

Could it- could it be-

The White Witch.
Jadis.

But she was dead- she was-

"Weapons down, you fool!" The air screamed at him. "All you fools! If you value your lives!"

All you fools.

Edmund looked at Caspian quickly- and the look on his face told him that the voice was audible to all.
They both began to lower their swords- the Narnians were right behind them, and it was likely they had the advantage of numbers.
But the creatures- if they were creatures- were invisible, and it was also likely they had a great many more advantages than just numbers.

"What creatures are you!?"

"Big ones!" Another part of the air shouted from next to where the First Mate, a minotaur named Tavros, was standing. "With the body of a tiger-"

Fancy that. Edmund didn't think there were tigers out of Narnia and Rihaaya- and they were very far from those lands.
"Really?" He said challengingly. "You have talons, then?"

"Indeed!" The first part of the air yelled. "Great sharp ones- on- on our-"

"Heads!" Another invisible creature decided to oblige. "They're as long as your swords, if not more!"

Edmund raised his sword at the air- Caspian whipped his head towards him, eyes wide.

"What are you-"

"Tigers have claws." He murmured, so softly only he would've been able to hear. "Not talons."
He feinted a stab forward, and there came a shriek from the air.

"Put that down! Or I'll talon you to death-"

"And I'll ram my tusks right through you!"

"And I'll gnash you with my teeth!"

"And I'll bite you with my fangs-"

It was around this threat, that the creatures began to take on visible shape- and they did not have talons, or tusks, or anything in the least bit dangerous.

"Grrr!" One of the men- short, dwarf-like men, with a protruding bump around their midsection, and one giant-like foot, growled- he was holding a very blunt spear, and was standing with the aid of two other similar creatures.

"You mean-" Edmund lowered his sword again- not because of caution or fear, but because the urge to laugh was escalating quickly, "squash us with your potbellies?"

Caspian, next to him, continued- he, too, sounded like he was holding in a laugh.
"Or tickle us with your toes?"

Edmund allowed the band of men one moment to realise what had happened, before he advanced upon the one closest to him- his sword was soon mere inches from the little man's face.
"What have you done with my sister, you little-" was Gael around? Still, he ought not to swear- if Eustace was nearby, he'd find a way back to England and snitch on him, "pipsqueak?"

The small creature swallowed, going nearly cross-eyed as he tried to focus on the sword pointed at his nose.
"N-now- calm down-"

He was at the very end of the tether of patience. If Sanya was here, she'd have attacked already.
He wished, again, that she was here with him. Home wasn't the same without love.
"Where is she!?"

"You better tell him!" Another one of the dwarf-foot-something men shrieked. "Go on, Chief, tell him!"

That seemed to be all the motivation that the creature at Edmund's mercy needed- he was nodding quickly, sweating as though he was in the Great Desert instead of this evergreen island.
"In the mansion."

What the fuck? Did he think Edmund was blind?
"What mansion?"
There was no bloody-
Something burst into a very bright shine behind him, and he turned instinctively.
An enormous house was standing there, where it certainly hadn't been just a second ago.
"Oh," Edmund forced his jaw to not drop, like Caspian's and all the others', "that mansion."
--

Edmund kept hearing Eustace mutter, "Raman-doo-doo Island," to himself- and every time, he had to force himself to not laugh- which he made himself do by reminding himself of the long, arduous search for the elusive Blue Star.
His cousin was probably not even saying that on purpose- it seemed that he genuinely thought that that was the true name of the island that Coriakin, the magician in whose mansion Lucy had wandered in to.
A magician was not a witch, he had told himself, as he had stepped inside the mansion as well. And not all witches were bad.
But the Witch that haunted him certainly had been- worse than bad.

"I'm just here to say good night, Lu." He said, reaching the doorway to Caspian's sleeping quarters- the Telmarine had very chivalrously offered it to Lucy the very first day.

His sister had her back to him, her head bowed- was she praying? It was likely, and he wondered how she was concentrating, considering the veritable tempest that was going on outside.

He'd made a joke about being eaten by a sea-serpent just minutes ago, when he and Caspian and Drinian had been discussing matters- he had remembered what Drinian had said the first day, about the likelihood of sea-serpents, and Edmund had become excited. He wondered if a Narnian sea-serpent would be like those tales of the Loch Ness Monster.

But he was fairly sure that he would rather be a sea-serpent's meal over drowning in a Shakespearean tempest.
It wasn't just the tempest, though. Something seemed to have slunk on the ship, wrapping itself around the wood and spinning a fine cobweb to trap them all.

Why else would he keep hearing- in addition to Raman-doo-doo- whispers of mutiny? And why else would he keep thinking of Jadis?

"Lu- Lucy!"

Lucy turned abruptly, blinking, and she stood up quickly.
"Oh, sorry." She smiled nervously, rubbing her eyes. She'd been staring at that page she had stolen- yes, she'd stolen, and she felt guilty enough to be nauseous- from Coriakin's mansion- and she hadn't even realised how absorbed in it she had become. "I think I fell asleep while reading for a moment."
She stood, placing the book- the page was hidden inside it- on the table.
"What are you-"

"Sssh." Her brother said suddenly- and as she looked confused, he nodded to the bed.
Gael was sleeping, the blanket pulled up to her chin, her hair fanning across the pillow and breathing easily.
"Better come here."

Lucy nodded, and walked to the doorway.
"What's up, Ed?"

"Just- here to say good night." He answered, trying to smile. Was it just his overworking mind- or did Lucy seem not entirely pleased that he was here?

Maybe it was just him. He had been thinking of Jadis sporadically throughout the past few days- more than he had thought about her in years- and it was making him feel strange.

Sanya, he thought. Moonshine. Come occupy my mind again, will you, darling?

He'd take that pain and regret and guilt over the memories and trauma and terror any day.

He had been trying to not think of Sanya, trying to make himself focus on the fact that he was in Narnia again- at home- and that there was a dangerous quest to tackle, a perilous journey to undergo. It wouldn’t do for him to pine for and mope about his absent wife- former wife- the entire time!
But he still did, and she was there always. Sanya was there all the time, despite not being there physically. She was there in his heart, in his mind, in his soul- everywhere. Even in his- in his clothes- the tunic he had begun to wear almost every single day aboard the ship was in the palest possible shade of purple. His Moonshine’s favourite colour.

And Edmund would pine.

He wished Sanya was here- not just in his mind, but there, in his reality. He missed her so much- even more than he had in Cambridge, which he hadn't thought possible.
"Are you alright?"

She nodded, smiling tiredly, "I am, I promise. It's just a bit exhausting, living on a ship. They never tell you in adventure books how tedious it all gets."

"Take care now, Lu, you're beginning to sound like Eustace."

Really? Was she? What was happening to her!?
First she had called her friend Marjorie a two-faced little beast- but then, that was justified, for Coriakin's Book of Incantations had revealed what she and Anne said behind her back.
Still, she ought not to insult anyone! It just wasn't something she did.
She forced a chuckle, before asking, "Did you check on him?"

Edmund rolled his eyes, "He's not a child-"

"Ed!"

"Yes, I did." However annoying he was, Eustace was their cousin. He was, regrettably, family. "He was drooling onto his diary, and Reepicheep was laughing at him."

"Did you notice what he said, when Coriakin unfurled that great map of our world?"
Lucy had lived in Narnia for fifteen years- but it never failed to make her gasp with wonder. No matter how familiar she became with her home, it would never cease to amaze her.

"I did- he called it beautiful."
Then he'd looked horrified at himself, and muttered loudly about 'for a make-believe map of a make-believe world', or something like that.
Edmund had a fine memory, but he would prefer to not remember much of Eustace.
"Truly was fantastical, wasn't it?"

Lucy hummed in agreement.
She had just been about to wish her brother good night- when she noticed something, and frowned.
"Ed, your dark circles." She hadn't seen them so pronounced since the first few years of the Golden Age. She'd been just a child, but even she had noticed how plagued and difficult her brother's sleep had been, then. She didn't think he'd started sleeping well, until- well, until after he had married Sanya. "Haven't you been sleeping?"

The 'yes, I have' was on his lips, and he was ready to lie.
But he had been so hard on Sanya for her lies- it would just be so hypocritical if he spoke something that was not the truth, too.
"Not much." He admitted. "It's been going on for the past year- but it's got worse since we came to Narnia."

"Maybe it's the hammocks?" Lucy suggested, though she sounded doubtful. "It's a different battlefield altogether, to sleep on a ship."

"Perhaps." Edmund nodded, though he doubted it. He'd slept on ships easily enough before. "Listen, Lu- you're alright, right? You're not feeling- off, are you?"

She blinked at him, "N-no? I feel fine. I feel normal."
Though stealing a spell to become beautiful like her sister wasn't exactly normal, was it? Not for her, not for anyone decent.
"Why? Are you- are you feeling-"

"There's unease on the ship." He shrugged, forcing his tone to be far, far more nonchalant than he felt.

The sea can play nasty tricks on the crew's mind. Very nasty.

It had sent a chill up Edmund's spine, Drinian's words. He hadn't shown it, and neither had Caspian- it wasn't at all Kingly to shiver in fear of a few foreboding words- but they were both rattled.

"If you feel anything's wrong- anything at all- you come to me, alright? Don't worry about waking me up- just come."
He most likely would be awake the entire night, anyway. And if he ended up falling asleep- well, nightmares. He may as stay awake and try to be of some use. He wanted to be there for his sister.
Nodding to the little sleeping figure on the bed, he added, "Both of you."

Lucy nodded, and then asked softly, "How's her father? Rhince?"

"I haven't really spoken to him."
Though, on the whole ship, Edmund was the one who would understand his plight the most. He had lost his wife, too- and the first time, it had been pure Fate. The second, though...
At least Rhince had his daughter with him. Edmund hadn't had his children, and he never would again.
And Rhince was doing whatever he could, travelling to wherever was necessary- just for the sliver of a chance that he'd find his wife. Edmund hadn't done that. He'd just grieved.
"I don't need to talk, though. We'll find his wife." The father and daughter would reunite with the mother, and their family would be whole again. He'd make sure of it. "And they'll have a happy ending, all together. They'll go home."

There was such conviction in her brother's voice, as he spoke of what he himself had lost and would never find again.
But at least they were in their home now. Even if it was without Peter and Susan- at least they were home. That was something.
"Yes, we will." Lucy promised, leaning him and wrapping her arms around him. They both needed the comfort, she was sure.
She felt his shoulders sag, and he held her tight, his head against hers.
"We'll find it." She promised her brother- assuring, perhaps, even herself. "A happy ending."
--

Lucy cast one glance at the sleeping Gael- she looked like such an angel of innocence, she hoped that the virtue would always be with her.
Then she clenched her jaw, and looked to the mirror, her heart beating fast and as determined as could be.
"Transform my reflection." She spoke clearly, staring hard at herself in the mirror. "Cast into perfection-"
How many poems had Susan receives from admirers, singing praises of her perfection? Only those who loved someone would believe in their perfection- Lucy had never had that.
"Lashes, lips and complexion." She and Susan shared only freckles, when it came to complexion.
"Make me she, whom I'd agree, holds more beauty over me."

It wasn't hard to agree about that. Anyone with eyes would be able to tell.

Lucy stared at the mirror, and her lips parted in surprise as her face- her face- began to change. It was subtle, at well- her cheeks grew hollower, her lips became fuller and redder- but soon, in hardly a moment, the change grew drastic, and she was staring at her sister's face.
She reached up to touch her own face- and, the reflection did the same thing.

The reflection was not of Susan's. It was of her.

But the dress it wore was blue, with a pattern of white flowers, the figure more willowy than she had ever been- Lucy was wearing a loose white tunic, and she was short- she had only asked to look more like her sister, surely the spell had not changed-

She looked down at herself, just to make sure of her outfit, and gasped- it was the exact same as in the reflection.
But did that mean- had Susan's face been entirely bestowed upon her? In fact- not just her face- but everything? Was she truly the beauty she had wanted to be?

As she kept staring at her reflection, trembling, she noticed light begin to peek out from the borders of the mirror. The reflection seemed denser, less clear- like she was looking into a pond, instead of a silver-backed mirror.

Lucy remembered Alice Through the Looking Glass- and she tapped at the mirror, pushing it back, as if it was a door, and she was in a new world.

Well, at least, she was not on a ship anymore.
She was at a garden party, the world bright and the sky as blue as she'd ever seen and some music she had heard at a party years ago playing.

"She's quite a looker!" Someone in army uniform commented, grinning as Lucy stepped down from the patio.
Grinning at her.

"Swell!" The man's friend nodded enthusiastically, and Lucy blushed, ducking her head down.

Someone loped their arms through hers, and she looked to her side, startled- but she need not have been. It was Edmund, smiling like she had not seen him like since before they had come to Cambridge.
"Edmund!"
It wasn't her voice, but she was so caught up in his smile and the music and the sunniness that she did not even bother.

He smiled even wider, "You look beautiful, sister."

"As always." Another person took her arm- and she couldn't help a laugh of pure delight.

"Peter!"

He smiled indulgently at her, his blond hair shining like gold in the bright sun.
Then he looked at his brother, "I've just been chatting with Sanya, Ed- you didn't tell me you won the chess tournament!"

"I was going to wait till after the party-" Edmund was blushing, "it's our sister's moment in the sun, after all."

"Where is Sanya?" Lucy asked, craning her head- oh, there were so many people, and they were all looking at her.
"Ah, there-" she spotted a figure next to the fountain, clad in a lavender sun-dress and chatting with a small boy who could only be her brother, "oh, look, Sameer is here-"

"Of course he is." Her dark-haired brother nodded, glancing at his girlfriend for a moment- his smile softened as he did so.
Yet again, he reflected that her family moving from India to Finchley was one of the best things that had ever happened- because that had resulted in Edmund meeting Sanya, and falling in love with each other.
"Where else would he be, if not with his sister?"

Before Lucy could answer- a man called from the front, and she turned to see an enormous camera-stand.
"Perfect!" He said, staring at the three. But it was Lucy whom he asked, "Excuse me, miss, can I get a photo?"

No one had ever asked her that.
"Yes- yes, of course-"

"Mother's going to love this." Peter said, as he fixed his position- no one in the family had the photography bug, but he knew how important positioning was. "All her children in one picture!"

What?
"Hang on." She said, looking to her brothers. "Where am I- I mean, where's Lucy?"

"Lucy?" Edmund was still smiling, but he looked perplexed, too. "Who's Lucy?"

Her ears started to ring, and she almost missed Peter asking worriedly, "Susan, what's wrong?"

Susan. She didn't just look like Susan anymore.
She was Susan.
And Lucy was gone. She was gone.

"Come on now." The photographer said, as Lucy started to hyperventilate. "Nice big smile-"

Alice had managed to leave the world of the Looking Glass, too.
Lucy would, too
"Edmund, I'm not sure about this." She said, turning to her brother, who was already smiling for the camera- or perhaps it was at Sanya, who had come up to stand behind the photographer, holding Sameer's hand. "I think I want to go back."

His head turned to her- and for a moment, Lucy thought he understood her exactly.
"Go back where?" He asked, laughing slightly, turning back to the camera.

She wished Peter wasn't holding her arm so tight.
"To Narnia!"

He didn't even bother to look at her this time, "What on earth is Narnia?"

And then- and then- Lucy didn't want to think about it.
The flash of the camera blinded her, as her brothers voices grew louder and louder- and she hid her face- Susan's- she didn't even know anymore-

"Oh, dear Lucy." A deep, sad voice said- and Lucy lowered her hands, staring at the mirror.
She was in the cabin again- but there was no Gael on the bed, and sunlight so bright that it was white streamed in through the window, entirely different to the dark storms that had been troubling the Dawn Treader for days.
But, even though there was no Gael, she was not alone.

"Aslan?" She breathed, tears streaming down her face as she looked at the Lion in the mirror. Was it truly Him?

He seemed bigger than the last time she had seen Him. Sadder, too.
Was it sadness, though- or disappointment?
"What have you done, child?"

"I don't know." She'd just wanted to be beautiful. To be loved. "That was awful."

"But you chose it, Lucy."

"I didn't mean to choose all of that." She cried. Her heartbeat had still not calmed down, and she felt so utterly wretched. Surely, Alice had not felt like this? "I just wanted to be beautiful like Susan. That's all."

"You wished yourself away-"

No- no! That wasn't what she had wanted- that had not been her intention-

"And with it, much more." Aslan went on- He sounded severe and soft at the same time, in a way that only He could be.

Lucy wanted to weep. How could she ever have even thought of doing this?

"Your brothers and sister wouldn't know Narnia without you, Lucy." He spoke kindly, and Lucy saw His great head turn towards her, His eyes so golden she forgot about the sunlight. "You discovered it first, remember?"

Yes. Yes, of course she remembered. How could she ever forget? Narnia was home.
She could find nothing to say but, "I'm so sorry."

"You doubt your value." He said, and nudged her arm with His mane. Her heartbeat calmed immediately. "Don't run from who you are."

And then Lucy was awake, gasping, "Aslan!"

But there was no Aslan anymore, and no sunlight- only the storms outside, and the soft breathing of the little girl next to her.
She was alone.

If you feel anything's wrong- anything at all- you come to me, alright?

"Edmund."

Edmund started, jerking upright.
His hand had instinctively gone to the sword he slept with- not that he slept much- and he looked to his side.
There was no Jadis there. He had just seen her- calling for him, seducing him, asking him to join her.
But she wasn't there.
Then he turned back, and saw Lucy there- small, white-faced, haggard.
"Oh, Lucy."
Had seeing Jadis been a dream, then? Had Lucy woken him up?

Lucy's voice shook, "I can't sleep."

"Let me guess." Her brother spoke, his voice quite hard, as he remembered the Witch's words.

Edmund.

He had thought it was Sanya's voice for a moment. He really had- partly because he had been thinking of her at that very moment, after his thoughts about how disgruntled he was at Caspian's 'superiority', and how much he hated that- he had been thinking of frustrating she was. And how utterly intoxicating.
She was such a thunderstorm.
Then he'd thought bitterly about her- of how much she had clung to him, of how she had taken this break as an actual break-up, how she had called their world only hers.

And then he had thought of how much he loved her.
He’d wished, so badly, that he had somehow been able to bring along Sanya’s photograph to Narnia- the little picture was quite the comfort to him, now that he had so cruelly driven away the love of his life.

He had been thinking only of her. Always her.
Because he'd thought it was her voice, he'd almost risen out of the hammock before even looking in the direction of the sound. How could he not have?
If she called, he would come.

But, in half an instant, he knew it wasn't her. Sanya could never sound that cold, that inhuman.

Edmund. Come with me. Join me.

And then he had seen her apparition, ghostly and green.

There was another gasp, and the siblings turned to the sound- Caspian had sprung awake, too, breathing hard and his long hair in complete disarray.

Edmund swallowed, looking back at his sister, "Bad dreams."
-

"The three of us will look for clues." Caspian nodded to Rhince and Drinian, and Edmund wanted to shove him down on the hot sand.

How dare the Telmarine upstart decide what he was to do, what his sister was to do! They were Kings and Queens, and more ancient and learned than he- if anything, they should be telling him what to do.

"Hang on-" Eustace protested, jogging up to his cousins and the man with the terrible beard- why should he call him by his name? Respect bred proper names, and he didn't have that for him. "You mean the four of us."

Edmund's face made it certain that no one meant that in the slightest.

He groaned, "Come on, please don't send me back to the rat."

The mouse called to him from his perch on one of the boat's oars, not in the least bit offended, "I heard that!"

Eustace scowled to himself, "Big ears."

"Heard that, too!"

"Stay with Reepicheep and Gael." Lucy told her cousin kindly, patting his shoulder. "We'll be back in no time."
-

"There's something down there." Lucy said, bending down to see where a rope tied around to a rock fell down to. A rope- as though someone had used it to climb down, her brother had said. "A- a cave, perhaps?"

The Cave of Wonders?, Edmund almost asked with a laugh.
And he would have, if he felt like laughing, which he didn't.

"Let's find out." Caspian said, already beginning to climb down.

Which was probably the worst decision the Telmarine King could have made- and Edmund would've pointed that out very gleefully, had he realised before it was too late.

"Looks like some sort of gold statue." He murmured, as he bent towards the water- an underground cave with a lake? A subterranean lake- or was it a pond, it didn't seem terribly large.
If only Sanya was there with him- with them. Water was her specialty.

The stick he used to reel in the statue began to turn into gold the moment touched the lake, and he just about managed to drop the thing until the goldening left the stick and reached his skin.
He remembered King Midas's tale, as he crouched down to stare at the water. Everything he touched, turned to gold.
But Midas was a man, and this was a lake.
How-?

"He must have fallen in." Caspian said quietly. That wasn't a golden statue.

Lucy walked towards the water, her face creasing in sorrow. "Poor man."

Edmund could see a shield in the water, next to the statue-
"You mean, poor Lord."

"The crest of Lord Restimar." Caspian said, confirming Edmund's suspicions about the man.

"And his sword." The Just King said, pointing a bit away from the statue,, where a sword lay just below the surface of the water.

"We need it." The Telmarine said, and that was the last thing Edmund agreed with him about.

The Lord had meant to use the lake, and Edmund did, too.

The gold could help Lucy, help his family- they could live the lives they once had! And he was just supposed to listen to Caspian, who did not have to share a bedroom with his brother and who had not been left behind in a whole other country because his family was too poor?
What, was he suppose to bow down to Caspian's rule? He was the Just King, a King of Old!
Was he supposed to listen to him about not taking anything out of Narnia?

Edmund rose from where he had dipped the shell into the water, "Says who?"

Caspian had handsome features, but in the dull orange lighting inside the cave, he looked beastly. He felt beastly, and wondered what Peter would have thought of him.
"I do."

"I'm not your subject." He spoke calmly- coolly. An eagle before flying down to swoop its prey.

And the moment the spineless sap of a King spat at him to prove his bravery, to prove his Kingliness, to prove he was worthy of Sanya- Edmund attacked more fiercely than any eagle.
-

Now it was Eustace who was gone! Kidnapped, most likely, knowing his nature- but then, Edmund snorted to himself, though he was far from in good spirits, what kidnapper could stomach his personality?

But he realised soon enough, as he was clutched in the claws of a large, scaly beast- Eustace wasn't kidnapped.
He'd been turned into a dragon.

Oh, how Edmund wished Sanya was here. She would've had the time of her life.
"Is there any way to change him back?" He asked, after Lucy managed to get the bracelet off their cousin's arm.
He was looking at Drinian- Edmund did not know as much about dragons as he wished he did- and then he couldn't stop himself from looking at Caspian.

Caspian and he had been avoiding each other as much as possible, since Lucy had boldly stepped between them and their swords, shouting at them about the mist and its temptations.
He didn't know what else to do. He knew he must apologise- but Caspian ought to, too. Why was he always the one to back down first?

"Not that I know of." Caspian shook his head, glancing at Drinian, who did the same.
At least they had found Lord Octesian- well, his skeleton. And his sword, too!
He didn't know whether the overall outcome was good or bad.

Eustace lowered his enormous head in disappointment, and Edmund sighed.
How was he supposed to take a dragon back to England?
Sanya would be very happy, but everyone else...
"Aunt Alberta will not be pleased."
--

"I miss Peter." Caspian sighed softly, as he stared at the tapestry of stars. They seemed bluer than ever- but not as blue as his beloved's eyes.

"I miss Sanya." Edmund admitted quietly, moving his gaze from the stars to Caspian for a moment. The same ache he felt was written over his face. "Sorry, Caspian. For everything."

Caspian smiled slightly, "I am sorry, too, Edmund."

And the two spoke no more that night, choosing to look at the stars and listen to the crackle of the fire and think of their faraway beloveds instead.

The sky was a tapestry of twinkling stars.
But Edmund could not find the Moon.
He'd stay awake until he did.
--

Sanya rolled over in the bed, once again unable to sleep.

She missed Edmund. She missed his smile. She missed his eyes. She missed talking to him. She missed his freckles- his stars.

And she had insomnia. Not officially diagnosed- she wasn't going to any doctor- but she had read up on it in detail in the past few days. The ailment that had been with her since she was a child now had a name.

"Insomnia." She murmured to herself, sitting up. She had been tossing and turning so much and the fan was in such terrible a condition, that she was sweating profusely.

Heavens, it looked like someone had burst a water balloon in her clothes.

Sanya glanced to the other side of the room- Susan was asleep, on her side and facing away from her.
She kept watching her for a few more seconds- to make sure she was actually asleep, and not just pretending.
She watched out for a twitch of the foot, breathing too rapid to be asleep-breathing- all things she had checked out from her children whenever she looked in on them after bedtime. Selene usually tuckered out first, surprisingly enough.

"Please don't wake up." She spoke quietly to her sleeping sister-in-law, before unbuttoning her sweat-soaked pyjama-top and letting the garment fall off her.
Her body breathed for the first time since her shower hours ago, and she inhaled in relief, too. It was so freeing to be topless or clad in just knickers and lie down in the privacy of your own bed and room.
Even though this was not her bed, or her room, and she didn't exactly have privacy.

She could tell that she still wouldn't be able to sleep- as her mother used to say, her eyes had not become 'small' yet, which meant that they weren't yet closing- and she fanned herself.
She could read- she had no problem reading in the dark, no matter how much Edmund told her that she should not-
Oh. Edmund. She'd managed to not think about him for almost an entire minute.
"What a record, Reza." She snorted to herself, and got out of the bed, shuffling silently to sit by the window. "Not at all a pathetic-"

There was a sudden sound from the other side of the room, and she went quiet immediately, turning around in fear- oh, she did not want Susan to see her topless!
But it was just the fan again, and she rolled her eyes at it.

She pushed the window open- and sat by it.
It felt lonely, sitting here, even though sitting by the window and staring at the sky was one of her favourite past-times.
It was because Edmund wasn't there with her, she knew. She should hate it. She should curse him, and never speak his name again. Well, sometimes she did call him a chutiya in her head and she hadn't really spoken about him in several months, but still. She should never, ever want to think about him again.
But she did. She wondered where he was, how he was. And then she would think about how much she wanted him here with her.
He wasn't here, though.
Not to sit in peaceful silence with- or drowsily chat with- or hold her in her arms- or star-gaze-

"No stars, though." She spoke softly, looking out of the apartment window and to the midnight sky. It was a curtain of blue-black- save for one everlasting sliver of silver. "Hi, Moon."

She loved the Moon- but she was thinking of Edmund now, and it was stars that reminded her of him.
She would wait by the window until they sparkled into visible existence again.
--

Caspian was staring rather gapingly at the Blue Star, and Edmund wanted to poke him and remind him very pointedly about Peter.

And he would have, if he wasn't too busy staring as well.

When was the last time he'd even noticed someone apart from Sanya? He couldn't even remember.

When they had been gossiping about the classmates and schoolmates they found attractive- he'd had to think so hard to try to think of someone.
He'd said Oscar was handsome, and then it had been a difficult battle to find anyone else he'd thought of in the same way.

But the Star- in the form of a woman, blue light emanating from her like- well, like a star, was so breathtakingly beautiful it could drive even the most loyal spouse to distraction.

Lilliandil, the Star and Ramandu's daughter, appeared to realise that after Caspian said that she was most beautiful.
"If it was a distraction for you, I can change form-"

"No!" Caspian burst out, and Edmund wanted to, too- but he held himself back, remembering the one he loved.
Aphrodite herself could have come down, in all her divine beauty- and Edmund wouldn't stop thinking of Sanya.
-

Edmund liked Eustace much more as a dragon, and not just because as a dragon, he was able to attack the bloody sea serpent that had been born from his mind.

Wait.

Athena had been born from Zeus's mind, making her his daughter.
Did that make the sea serpent his child?
He wasn't sure how Sanya would feel about being a stepmother.

Why was he thinking all this now, in the middle name of a fierce attack by the sea serpent- his fault- and the fire that had caught onto the sail of the ship- not his fault? Of all the times to have strange thought tangents.

Eustace, greatly injured, flew away, and Edmund bit his lip. One less bit of support.
At least he had Peter's sword. The sword had never been of interest to him, or an object of envy, and he had been happy to refuse it, when Caspian had offered it to him the first time.
But now, he was glad to hold Rhindon tight in his hand. It was a piece of his brother, and it gave him support, like he always had.
He had his torch, too.

It was as he thought this, that he leapt off the side of the ship and onto the mizzen-mast, climbing steadily to the crow's nest.
He’d distract the damn serpent he had birthed, and Caspian and Lucy- she had grabbed Susan’s bow, and he hoped that gave her as much comfort as Rhindon gave him- and the others would ensure its end.
--

Eustace was a boy again and he was laughing and his face was radiant in a way Edmund and Lucy had never seen him- but, of course, that could just be his face being wet due to him splashing about in the water.

"Eustace!" Reepicheep shouted in pure joy, jumping up on the ship's side. He did not seem in the least bit exhausted- there was no indication at all that they had just been tempted and plagued by their worst fears and then attacked by a sea-serpent. "I see your wings have been clipped!"
And with a great laugh, the mouse threw himself into the water to join his friend.

Edmund watched them, smiling.
It was a miracle he felt like smiling. He'd seen Jadis mere minutes ago- and she had felt so real, so tempting, and he hadn't even needed the magical candy to be swayed by the potency of her offer.

I can make you my King.

But he already was someone's King- and he'd ended up driving the sword upwards, right into the sea serpent's throat.

And her ghost had gone.

Lucy smiled, too, halfway to tears as she leaned into her brother's embrace and watched the water.
She'd almost lost all hope, after Eustace had fled. What chances did one ship's crew have against an enormous leviathan?
But then she had pressed her lips together and prayed to Aslan- and He had whispered to her, calming her in a way only He could have.

Courage, dear heart.

And she had shot an arrow right through the sea serpent's body, not a trace of doubt in her.

Caspian did not join the siblings in looking down at the water. He surveyed his ship, his people- he did not think anyone had died, and he breathed a sigh of relief.

You are a great disappointment to me.

Perhaps what the vision of his father had been right- perhaps he had spoken the truth.
But Caspian worked hard at being a King, at being a good King, and he was beloved by his people. That had to be enough for him- he couldn't forever dwell on what his father, who'd been dead for so long, might have thought of him.

Something was appearing from the horizon- it was a boat, but it was so far away, it was impossible to tell if-

"Look!" Tavros, who had very good eyesight, yelled.

"Narnians! Narnians!"

Gael ran forward from where she had her father had been hugging, and ran to the edge of the ship.
"Mummy!" She gave a squeal of delight, and jumped into the water, caring only about getting to her mother.

Rhince shouted, "Helaine!" with stars in his eyes, and then promptly followed suit.

Edmund watched the father and daughter swim ahead, full of vigour despite the exhaustions of the voyage, and he watched a woman on the boat start sobbing as she saw and recognised them

He saw the three crash into an embrace, half on the boat and half in the water, and he felt his heart ache.

He wanted that. He wanted that so badly. To hug Jem, Selene and Seraphina- to have Sanya in the embrace, too, holding all of them tight and promising that he'd never let them go again.
He was happy for Rhince and his family. Beyond happy.

But he just wished...

"Where sky and water meet!" Reepicheep's gusty singing interrupted Edmund's melancholy thoughts. "Where the waves grow ever sweet-"
He dunked his head underwater, as Eustace laughed at him, and then he came up sputtering.
"It is sweet." He lowered his head again and gulped down some of the water. "It's sweet!"

"Look! Look!" Lucy had pulled away from Edmund's hold and was nodding to the distance- the surface of the Ocean was covered with something pure-white.

They were water-lilies. There were so many of them, like a curtain over the water- and the air itself smelled as sweet as the flowers.

The mermaids that had warned Lucy so long ago danced in the water, and beckoned them to go towards the water-lilies.

Everything tasted- smelled- felt- like light. Light itself.

"Aslan's Country." Caspian gasped, his eyes so wide. "We must be close."

Would his children be there? Or would they be somewhere else- in the Meadowlands, as they had called it? Or- was it all the same?
"Well," Edmund said, his face breaking into a smile in spite of his thoughts, "we've come this far."
--

You were only an ass. I was a traitor.

Eustace was thinking of what Cousin Edmund had told him, on the boat-ride into this strange, ethereal beach.
He was thinking that part of him wished he had kept being an ass.

If he had- then perhaps saying goodbye to Reep wouldn't have hurt this much.

Perhaps hearing Edmund tell Lucy that it was time for them to go back wouldn't have struck him right in the heart.

Perhaps leaving Narnia wouldn't make his heart ache so much.

Lucy was trying to not sob as she and Edmund turned towards Aslan. She was failing very badly- both of them were.
"This is our last time here, isn't it?"

Behind her, silent tears rolled down Edmund's crumpled face, and a few feet away, Caspian wept as he watched them, knowing he was about to say goodbye to the only family he had left.
He had chosen to not go into Aslan's Country to find his father- and he had been at peace with that decision.
But now this, too?

"Yes." Aslan said sadly, and Lucy shut her eyes, her whole body shaking with sobs. "You have grown up, My dear ones. Just like Peter and Susan."

"Will- will-"
But Edmund was unable to continue on- he lowered his head, and cried, quite unable to do anything else.
Part of him had hoped to find his children here. Instead, he was losing his home.

Lucy managed, because she was the Valiant, "Will you visit us in our world?"

Aslan smiled at them, "I shall be watching you always."

"H-how-"

"In your world, I have another name." He told them, a small smile on His maw. "That was part of the reason you were brought to Narnia. That by knowing Me here for a little while...you may know Me better there."

Lucy half-laughed- Aslan would know her, and she would know Aslan. It wasn't goodbye forever.
"Will we meet again?"

"Mm. Yes, dear ones." He nodded, but His golden eyes were sad. "One day."

Lucy couldn't take it anymore, and she threw her arms around Him.

Caspian shuffled forward, still weeping, and he bent down to hug Edmund, who cried into his shoulder for a moment.
"I'm glad Peter fell in love with you." The Just King whispered into the Telmarine's ear. "Brother."

"I understand why my aunt loves you." Caspian whispered back, "and why she always will. You two belong with each other."

Edmund turned away to bow to Aslan and lean his head against the Great Lion's, and Lucy moved to throw herself into Caspian's arms, both of them sobbing immediately.

"You're the closest thing I have to family." Caspian said, wiping his nose as he looked at the three. He smiled a watery smile, "Even you, Eustace!"

Eustace smiled back, crying as well, but was unable to say anything.
He thought he had lost his voice- but then, as he and his cousins walked towards the water portal, he turned back and called to Aslan.
"Will I come back?"
It was an instinctive question, and his heart hammered as he stared at the Lion's impassive face.

"Narnia may yet have need of you."

Lucy was so, so happy for her cousin. He deserved to return, to experience Narnia again.

But as she started to pull the door of her temporary bedroom closed- Aunt Alberta had called Eustace down, because someone had dropped in for a visit- she stared at the painting of the ship.

And her heart broke.

Goodbye, Narnia. Lucy thought, knowing that Edmund, behind her, was thinking the same. Goodbye, home.

And then she pulled the door shut.

-
-✧･: °*✧*°:･✧-
-

(he deserves what Rhince's family found :"))
-
(Okay, I know this edit doesn't go with the chapter, but I have to include it here because I forgot to include it in Ch20, which is where it would have fit best 😭😭😭)

(I wanted to do 'hi, it's me, I'm the problem' and the 'at teatime, everybody agrees' parts, too, because it fits, but I didn't have the energy to make more manips)

-

Goodbye, Narnia. 'Twas fun to explore you in these books 🥺 I shall miss writing you in this series.

Long chapter, told ya. 9.3K words- and, yet, far from the longest chapter. Far.

This chapter is basically a novelisation of the VOTDT movie- but better than the movie, and with bits of my own canon and the book.

'That was part of the reason you were brought to Narnia.'

Yes, part. PART. I refuse to accept that the only reason little kids from a grey war-torn world found a fantasy land of adventure and liveliness just so that they could become more devout Christians when they were eventually kicked out. No offence, but- ew. That is only a LITTLE part of the reason (and only for the Christian narnia-finders- any non-Christian who finds Narnia is NOT going to have a different religion forced onto them)- the rest of it, is up to them and to you, dear readers.

I have little to say about Edmund and Caspian's rivalry. I liked it better in the books where Caspian was the only one overcome by magical greed and he kept saying he was King, while Edmund was like 'aight bet, you trying to teach the teacher here, I see'- but, ig, it makes sense that Ed wants the gold. His family does need it.
And it also makes sense that Caspian is annoying him. This entire book, he just wanted to be needed (healthily) and he laments that he is no longer around to protect Narnia- and then, when he finally gets into his home, he finds that the power and duty that he'd had to help people is now wholly another's? 'Course he blew his top (internally).

It's different from Peter. For him, it was the loss of identity, resulting in a struggle with Caspian. For Edmund, it's the inability to help people, in England and now in Narnia, leading to animosity with Caspian, who CaN help people.

Anyway.
Edmund thinking for a split-second that Gael was his Selene returned- I can't. I CAN'T. And he gives her the apple!!! Such a good dad.
He just wants his children back 🥺

If you don't think that Edmund Arthur Pevensie would just constantly make fun of his honorary brother-in-law and kinda nephew-in-law's Aslan-awful beard, you are wrong. He would nEver stop making fun of it. If he could draw, he'd make caricatures of it.

THE CRUMBS OF CASPETER IN THIS CHAPTER 😭😭😭😭😭 I miss them so much. So. So. So. Much.
I mean, yeah, Caspian'll marry Lilliandil in the future and Rilian will be born, BUT he will be thinking of Peter, always. He's the love of his life- the one who gave him his heart and sword.
Caspian looking at the night sky while thinking of Peter and his sky-like eyes- poetry.

Also, Edmund looking at the stars and missing the Moon (Sanya), while Sanya looks at the Moon and misses the stars (Edmund)- the most soulmate behaviour ever.

And the fact that his love and adoration for Sanya is SO deep and strong that he could resist even a literal Star's beauty???? Goddamn.

I think Caspian would have been able to, too, had it not been three years since he and Pete had separated. Not saying he's begun to move on- but he's accepted that he will never see him again.

Lucy's dream and her spell is slightly more in depth here, and I also included parts of the book (specifically, the vision she saw about backstabbing Marjorie and Anne)- and, frankly, it makes more sense in this series than it did in the movies- the feeling-lesser-than-because-beauty, thing.
I mean, Lucy says in 'Alliance' itself that she's not as pretty as Susan. And I didn't even knOw then that this would become a series!
I'm not tooting my own horn, I'm just saying that some things should be built up steadily and others need to be maintained, instead of a hotchpotch of whatever.

Sameer and Sanya together in Lucy's dream 🥺 that dream-world must be so nice.
Apart from the lack of Lucy, ofc. Something that just makes the whole world suck VERY bad.

And Eustace, my dragon son. What a character arc- with a dragonic twist- and I sure hope we haven't seen the last of you, bro.

To end: Edmund says he misses Sanya and wishes she was there with him in almost every single scene/vignettes- which, might I just say, is big talk for the person who broke up with her!??

The sea-serpent IS Edmund's child, btw.

The author's note makes this over 10.1K words. The author's note is 800 words long??? Fuck.
Fuck.

And, as always- I humbly and unashamedly ask you to vote on the chapters, and perhaps comment, too :)