To her right, a children's park overlooked the street, the wind nuzzling a swing. It was quiet and vacant, just what Adaline needed. Sitting on the damp swing, pushing back and forth on her heel, Adaline could almost hear the youthful giggles and squeals as she and her brother begged their father to push them higher. The park had changed little over the decades - the red paint of the swing was still peeling, revealing black piping underneath, the roundabout still squeaked as it turned.

Despite the general wear and tear from years of use and weather erosion, it still looked the park taken care of. There was no litter, the bins rarely overflowed, the ground was clear despite the bare trees hanging over. Residents would often take turns to sweep up any debris so that their children and grandchildren had someone safe to wear off energy. There were never vandalised apparatus, nor did the teens who frequented the area cause mischief or excessive noise. It was in this haven that Adaline allowed the raw grief to consume her in a way she'd suppressed before.

She covered her mouth with her hand and screamed until her throat hurt. Life had become so confusing without Christopher's guiding hand. She didn't know who she was anymore, having spent most of her adult life as a wife. She wished, not for the first time, that he was still with her, his goofy lopsided smile wrinkling his eyes as she uttered another comical response that he adored her for.

Rain fell, as though the heavens wished to console her crying. Adaline made no attempt to move, to seek shelter under the trees or the playhouse to the left of her. The bitter rain gave enough of a pinch to her skin to provide some release from her inner turmoil. The shrill air stroked her arms, leaving goose pimples in their wake. I should've grabbed my coat, she thought as her teeth chattered. But still she did not move.

Going back and facing her mother's well intentioned concern wasn't something she needed nor wanted. Besides, what could she really tell her mother? That while her husband lay freshly buried, her body was enticing her mind to commit adultery? Would it even be such a thing? It certainly felt that way to Adaline. No, she'd simply wait it out until Elliot left and she could sneak to the refuge of the spare bedroom.

Adaline hadn't noticed the young girl, bright red nose and cheeks with her bobbled hat pulled so far over her ears it almost covered her eyes, sit next to her on the only other vacant swing. Hadn't noticed the little girl staring, playing with a strand of blonde hair between her lips. When she wiped her eyes and turned her head, the shock almost caused Adaline to fall off the swing. Clinging to the chains as though her life depended on it, Adaline let out a nervous giggle.

The girl edged the swing ever so slightly away from Adaline, still not breaking eye contact. The elder woman looked ghastly, with her brunette hair plastered to her skin, nose leaking and hands purple. Yet the young girl was not phased. Smiling, she reached out a tiny hand and held Adaline's, her glove providing much needed warmth. Adaline stared at their hands for a moment, her fingers still outstretched, before she clasped the girl's hand and squeezed gently.

"I'm Elsie, what's your name?" her voice was silky and cheerful, as though she didn't have a single care in the world besides what toy she wanted at the shop.

Looking around, Adaline spotted who she assumed to be the child's mother stood beneath a tree not too far away, lit cigarette hanging out of her mouth as her fingers tapped away at her mobile. Adaline wasn't overly shocked. The village was so quiet that it wasn't too uncommon for children to play outside alone or for parents to pay little attention. Elsie continued to stare. Her smile proudly presented a gap in the top row of teeth, the adult tooth only just moving into its new home.

"Adaline," she beamed back.

The young girl giggled and kicked her feet off the floor until she flew in the air, head pulled back as the swing propelled her forward. She looked so free and content that Adaline felt a little jealous. She laughed, momentarily forgetting all that was wrong in her life. Standing, Adaline pushed Elsie, the girl's squeals sending aches into her heart. She'd give anything to do such little things with a child of her own, to hear their laugh and voice as she stroked their forehead and kissed their nose. Forgetting where she was, she held the chain in her hand as a single tear fell.

"Are you okay?"

Wiping her face with her shoulder, Adaline smiled down at Elsie's confused face and nodded. Resuming their little game. Just something in her eye, she told the girl. Shrugging, Elsie leaned forward until her boots scraped on the floor, pulling the swing to a halt.

"My mummy says that when she's sad. I'm not silly, I'm six, almost growed up, don't you know?" Elsie looked at Adaline with such a serious face that the elder woman couldn't help but laugh loudly.

Frowning, Elsie huffed and began to stand.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't laughing at you. Wow, six? That really is grown up," this seemed to appease Elsie, who sat back down and crisscrossed on the swing.

Her mother now watched the pair intently, a fresh cigarette between her middle and forefinger. Adaline waved at her, hoping she knew she meant no harm to her daughter. The mother waved back before taking a drag of the fag and calling out to Elsie, letting her know they'd be heading home shortly.

"Why are you sad Adaline?" Elsie repeated.

Unsure how to answer in a way that was appropriate for a young child, Adaline thought for a moment.

"A special friend of mine is in heaven and I miss them very much,"

Elsie nodded, moving to sit awkwardly on Adaline's lap. Her thin arms wrapped around Adaline's neck, enveloping her in a deep hug. Choked, Adaline returned the hug and closed her eyes. She fought the urge to cry onto the child's shoulder. To spill everything she was holding in to someone who wouldn't understand just for the sake of feeling free.

"My mummy says a hug makes everything better. When my kitty went to heaven mummy gave me lots and lots of hugs until I wasn't sad no more," she said into Adaline's shoulder, her voice suddenly very quiet. "and mummy says my kitty is looking down at me, and all better in heaven now. She's not poorly any more. Maybe your special friend isn't poorly neither."

Pulling Elsie out at arm's length, Adaline smiled at her. The first genuine smile she had mustered in weeks. Elsie smiled back, looking suddenly bashful.

"You know what Elsie? I think your mummy is right. My special friend loved cats when he was alive. Do you think maybe your kitty would keep him company?"

Elsie nodded enthusiastically, her hat almost falling off her head.

"Oh absolutely, Snowball loves playing, 'specially with a feather!"

The girl's mother now stood before the pair, reaching out a hand to her daughter. Elsie gave Adaline one last hug before taking her mother's hand and kissing it.

"I'm sorry if she was bugging you at all," her mother smiled, stroking Elsie's hand with her thumb.

"Not at all. You have a lovely and polite daughter," Adaline beamed.

Thanking her, the mother and Elsie walked away. Looking over her shoulder, Elsie gave a quick wave before turning and chatting away.

Alone once more, Adaline breathed deeply. She hadn't known just how much she simply needed some company. Someone to sit with, someone to hold her and tell her things would be okay even if they didn't really understand what was going on. She felt as though an immense weight had been lifted off her shoulders, her chest not so tight.

The rain had eased, spurts of sunshine peeking from behind still dark clouds. Adaline stretched her fingers, trying to return the feeling the cold had stolen from them. I best head back before I catch a cold. Once more, she regretted leaving her mother's house without a coat or shoes. Her feet were black and frozen, making each step unbearably painful. Her teeth chattered and her pyjamas clung to her figure, which was slightly curvier than the girls she knew.

Christopher had often eased her worries that she was too big and ought to diet to rid herself of what she saw as excess weight. He'd told her frequently that she had a womanly figure, that she was absolutely perfect and didn't need to change one thing. Except maybe the mess she often left behind in the bathroom each morning. And he'd hug her, as tightly as Elsie had, until she felt better. Thank you, Chris, for sending me Elsie today. I needed her.

The walk back to her mother's seemed longer than it had only an hour earlier. Opening the front door, she could hear Elliot and her mother pottering about in the kitchen, chatting cheerfully as though the memory from that morning had all but disappeared.

"Mum, I'm just heading to get a shower," she called, the warmth of the house making her fingers and toes ache.

She knew her mother wouldn't be pleased at the black footprints trailing behind her, but she'd deal with that after she warmed up and changed clothes. Walking past her mother's room towards the bathroom, she peered inside. Her mother had freshly made the bed as always, with the pillow Adaline and Dean had bought her the Christmas before nestled in the centre of a stack of pillows. They had made the pillow from one of their dad's old shirts. I should get one made with Christopher's shirt, she told herself before closing the bathroom door. Shutting out the chatter from below until the only thing she could hear was the stream of water hitting the shower door.