Summary; In which Natsu leaves for a mission, alone. And as the long days pass without him. She realizes something, damn does she miss him, and why isn't he returning?

Leaving

"I'll be back in a couple of weeks, Luce!"
"Alright!"
No...
"Wish me luck!"
Don't leave...
"You don't need it!"
Come back...
"Bye, Lucy!"
Don't say that...
"Bye, Natsu!"
The trains gone.
Taking my partner, my best friend, with it.
"See you in a couple of weeks, Natsu..."

Day One

That first day without him was not as horrible as I thought it would be. Sure, I did miss the louder then life fire breather, but it was so very peaceful. It was quiet.
Well, as quiet as you can get in Fairy Tail.
There was still the usual bar fight, the yelling, the insults thrown around like bullets. Even some chairs got thrown around.

However, to me, it was so very quiet.
It was a complete contrast to what I was used to. Usually an arm would already be wrapped around my shoulders, a voice that I knew as well as my own would be talking in my ear, and a brighter then the sun smile, would be directed at me. But, there was not any of that.
I could picture it so very clearly, though. As if it were all happening right now.

A flyer from the request board would be shoved into my face.
An eager voice would rise up, ready to face the danger that the flyer promised.
Cherry blossom hair would fill my eyes, making me smile, because I would always love his hair.
His dark eyes, would hold a green sheen to them, exposing his growing excitement.
His warm, calloused hand encircling my wrist, ready to drag me away.
His warmth always by my side.
His laughter following our every footsteps.

I sat back in my chair at the bar. My daydream fading away like dew on a leaf. Chased away by the oncoming sunlight.
Funny how there was no sunlight for me.
My sunlight was already gone.

Day 5

Levy suggested I write letters.
Not to my Mother.
But to you, Natsu.
I know you'll never get to read these. And I'm happy about that. I would find it rather embarrassing if you did. Which reminds me, I must hide these somewhere before you get back. But, knowing you, you'll probably end up finding them anyway. That's alright though, I suppose. These are going to be unimportant (rather boring) anyway.

The Guild isn't the same without you. Which I find odd. I certainly didn't think there would be a difference.
The Guild is still loud.
Filled with chaos.
Fights.
Dunken insults.
Fights.
Flying furniture.
Fights.
Stripping.
And, oh, did I mention all the fights?

Same old Fairy Tail.

But that's just the thing, Natsu. It's not the same Fairy Tail without you in it.
The Guild is...missing something.
Something that makes it whole.
Makes it warm.
Perfect.
Safe.
It's missing you.
So, Dragon Boy, hurry back, and make Fairy Tail,
Fairy Tail again, okay?

Day 7

Hey, Natsu! How's the mission going? I know it's a tough one. With you taking all those Dark Mages. But I know you can handle it!
Just, hurry back.
I'm starting to miss my partner in crime.

Day 9

The funniest thing happened this morning, Natsu.
I woke up and
automatically, like it was ingrained in me, threw my arm out towards the side opposite of me.
I was shocked when my hand only touched the bed sheets.
They were cold.
A body had not lain there that night.
I was searching for you.
But, instead, I woke up to a cold, empty bed.
Can't you hurry back to make it warm again?

Day 26

I laughed with Levy.
I hid away.
I argued with Gray.
I shielded myself.
I teased Gajeel.
I locked myself away.
I wrote another chapter.
I could feel my walls breaking.
I smiled.
I broke.
I miss you.
It's not the same without you, you know? Why couldn't you have taken me with you? I could have been helpful. I could have helped-protected-you. I could have.
You don't have to do all the saving this time. I promise,  I'll help. I'll save you.
I'll help you.
I'll be useful to you.
Just...please...let me go with you.
Because I can't stand living without you.

Day 30

I hate the quiet.
I hate the peaceful.
I want the loudness back.
I want the roaring back.
I want the fire back.
He said he would only be gone for a couple of weeks.
It's only been 3. 
How can this be, Natsu?
How can this be that I have become so attached to you, in such a short amount of time? I don't understand it.
But, I don't mind it.
I wonder why...or maybe,
I do.

Day 34

It's been 34 days now, Natsu.
4 weeks.
4 weeks without your smile.
4 weeks without your eyes.
4 weeks without laugh.
4 weeks without your warmth.
4 weeks without fun.
4 weeks without adventure.
4 weeks without your presence.
4 weeks without you.
4 weeks without you with me.
How many more?

Day 56

I've been missing you.
Have you been missing me?
Where are you, I wonder.
It plagues my mind every second of every dreaded day.
You haven't communicated with me since you left.
How's your mission going?
Are you setting fires?
Whooping bad guys butts?
Shouting out Fairy Tail's name proudly?
I bet you are.
I wish I could be there to hear your joyful shouts of victory.
To witness the gleam in your eyes as you take down another foe.
Or the smile that lights up your face when you win.
I know I'll be able to witness it again.
When you come back and tell me of your adventures.
I'll be waiting, okay?
Waiting for you to get back to me. So, hurry.

Day 79

It's been far to long, Natsu.
I'm beginning to worry.
It's eating away at my mind.
Tearing a hole in my already frantic heart.
The need to go searching for you is growing stronger.
Gramps told me that you were fine.
I saw the lies in his old eyes.
He, like the rest, like me, have not heard a word from you since that train took you away.
Why haven't we?

Day 99

Why?
Why...?
Why did you have to go?
Why did you have to pick that mission?
Why did you go all alone?
Why did you leave Happy?
Gray?
Wendy?
Gajeel?
Levy?
Gildarts?
Gramps?
Cana?
Mira?
Lissana?
Elfman?
Laxus?
Freed?
Bixlow?
Evergreen?
Why did you leave me behind?
I'm your partner after all.
Why?
Why did you leave your partner behind?

Day 120

We sent out a search party for you, Natsu.
We sent all of Fairy Tail.
Every
Single
Person.
And not one of us found anything.
What does that mean, Natsu?
Where are you?
I'm going sick with worry.
It's consuming me.
Leaving me empty.
And only you can fill the empty spaces.
But, why aren't you, Natsu?
Why aren't you?

Day 127

All the Guilds are helping us locate you.
SaberTooth.
Lamia Scale.
Blue Pegasus.
Mermaid Heel.
Even Jellal and his Guild, Crime Sorcerer, is helping too.
I have faith, Natsu.
That we will find you.
We
Will.
Promise.

Day 130

I had a dream last night.
That we found you.
You were out in the woods when we discovered you.
I yelled out your name.
You turned around.
And you smiled at me.
Your signature, Natsu Dragneel, megawatt smile.
The very sun paled in comparison.
Then, you lifted you hand, and held it out for me to take.
It was almost as if you had been waiting for me to take your hand. All this time.
I gladly accepted it.
I woke up just as you whispered my name.

Day 153

We...we haven't...not one of us...not one thing...
You'll still a ghost, Natsu.
And we can't find you.

Day 181

How could you do this to me?
To everyone?
HOW COULD YOU?!
Mavis, I hate you.
I hate you so much.
So...so...much...
It hurts...hurts so much...
Are you hurting, too, Natsu?

Day 182

Yo, Flame Brain, it's Gray.
Gajeel's here to.
He says, 'I'm gonna kick yer ass when I find ya, Gihihi.'
I gotta say, I'm not far behind on that notion.
But, the damned question is,
Where
The
Hell
Are
You?!
This is getting ridiculous, Pyro.
You've been missing for freaken 182 days!
What in the ten hells are you doing?
'Get yer ass back here, ya Flamie Bastard!'~Gajeel

Dammit, you rusty bucket! Stop stealing the quill! And he's hogging all the ink!
But, seriously, man, Lucy's sad.
More than.
She's breaking.
I thought you said that you hated seeing her cry?
Or have you forgotten already?

'Course he did. He can't even remember where he put his brain half the time!'

Good point, Rusty.
But, come on back home, Natsu.
Fairy Tail is worried sick.

'Besides me and Frosty of course, Salamander.'

Ya, besides me and the rust bucket.

P.S. We found and stole the Bunny Girl's letters to write this.
Ya better be very freaken grateful, Salamander! Whatcha waitin' for?
Come back already.

Day 193

I read what Gray and Gajeel wrote.
I don't really know what to say to those words they chose to write.
But, it's better then leaving the parchment blank, isn't it?
I have to go, Natsu.
The hunt begins once again.
The hunt to find my lost Dragon.

Day 200

We found something.
Something of yours.
It hurts to even look at it.
To touch it.
To hold it.
Even though it's so precious to you.
We found it in the dirt.
It had been trampled, bloodied, and...I'm sorry, ripped.
Why did you leave your scarf, Natsu?

Day 222

We all followed the tracks.
The big claw marks that were left in the mud by your scarf.
We don't know what the creature is.
We've never seen prints like these before.
Even Levy, Alzack, and Bisca, are at a loss.
But, I'm sure you beat it, Natsu. I'm sure you did.
Because you can beat anything!
You're Natsu Dragneel, The Salamander of the infamous Guild Fairy Tail, son of the great Fire Dragon Igneel.
Natsu, nothing, nothing, can dominate a Dragon.

Day 226

I stitched your scarf.
It's all fixed now.
I can't wait to give it to you when I find you.
I will get to see your beautiful smile again as you lay your onyx eyes on your beloved scarf.
I'll be happy.
You'll be happy.
And that's all that matters.
But, for now, I shall keep your scarf safe.
Until it is safely in your awaiting hands again.

Day 238

We found the creatures den.
I didn't go inside.
I couldn't.
There was a blood trail.
It was all messy.
Almost as if something had been dragged into the maw of the cavern.
Dragged straight into that cave that I couldn't go in.
Gajeel and the other Dragon Slayers that went inside found skulls.
Skeletons.
Both human and creature.
Dozens of them.
But, they didn't find you.
They didn't catch your scent.
You weren't in there with the bones and old, rotting meat of the unlucky.
Mavis, the relief I felt, was crushing.
We are still looking, Natsu!
We
Will
Not
Stop.
Promise.

Day 287

They stopped.
They all stopped.
I don't understand.
Why?
Why did they stop looking?
Why did they stop looking for you?
Gramps said that they searched everywhere.
Bullshit.
What about the sky?
The bottom of the deepest, darkness forest?
The bottomless pit of an ocean?
An island that nobody knows exists?
What about every single dark Guild?
But, I don't care if they've stopped.
I don't care if they lie.
I don't care if they tell me it is useless.
I don't care.
I made a promise, didn't I?
To find you.
To bring you back.
And a Stellar Mage never breaks her promises.

Day ???

They locked me up.
Threw me away to rot.
To whither away with nothing but my ink, quill, and pieces of worn parchment.
They said that this would be safer for me.
My health.
My sanity.
As if they believe I still have it.
I stayed out there for weeks.
Searching...
Searching...
Endless searching.
Endless hours.
Endless days.
Endless piles of nothing.
I almost died out there, you know? From hypothermia and starvation.
I didn't even feel it.
Still don't.
That's why they locked me in here.
To keep this empty husk of a person alive. That's really all that matters.
As long as my heart is still beating, they presume I'm alive.
How wrong they are.
I'm not alive.
Not anymore.
I died the day you left...
And didn't return.

Day 365

Natsu...it's been a year.
A year since I've seen you last.
A year since I've heard your laughter.
A year since I've seen your smile.
A year since I've felt alive.

A full year.

How? How can a full year go by?
And so quickly, too?
Yet, agonizingly slow as well?
How's the year been for you?
It's been hell for me.
But you could probably already guess that.
And to think, that I wanted to tell you something before this year was over.
I promised myself I would.
And you know how I am about my promises, Natsu.
I was going to tell you something important.
Something that I have been keeping to myself for so long.

And I'm so tired of keeping it my little secret.

It been bubbling up inside of me since the day you uprooted that tree for me.
You remember, don't you?
Oh, how the petals glittered like a thousand stars.

But, nothing glittered more brightly, then my love for you.

~Days Gone~

I don't know how long it's been, Natsu.
The days are gone.
All gone.
They float away from me.
Like time does.
Like years do.
All slipping between my grasp, right through my fingertips, like ash.
Not like my hands can catch anything anyway. They shake too much.
I can barely write you this letter.
But, I will, because you're worth it.
You're always worth it.
I'm tired, Natsu.
So, very tired.
I'm, sorry, so very sorry...
I couldn't keep my promise to you.
But, at least, I got to tell you my little secret.
Hopefully, instead of me writing it to you, I will finally be able to speak the words out loud.
I still haven't given up, Natsu.
My Dragon.
Who's love I hold dear.
I'll keep searching for you.

Because, you are my everything.
And I just can't let my everything go.
Let's continue our adventure!

All the stars in the sky are not enough to express my love for you, Natsu.
~Your, Luce.

Day 1

I can't believe I'm writing this. But, what the hell?
Yo, Luce!
I bet your missing me already, eh?
But ya don't have to worry about that!
I'll be back home and with you in a short, few weeks. I'm sure they will fly by! (Obviously more slowly since I ain't there)
That hardly matters, though, Luce! 
Cause, I've gots something to tell ya when I get home, ok?
Its been building up in me for a long while now. It's been my little secret for damned well forever. And I think it's about time I spill it.
I can write this down, right? Like, I don't think it will matter. Not like your gonna read this anyway. This is just for practice. Then I'll burn this and let the ash fly!

Makes me feel better even thinking about it!

Alright, Lucy, here it goes.

I
Love
You,
Even though you're a weirdo.

Damn...that does feel absolutely amazing to write it down. I wonder what it will feel like saying it out loud to you?!
I'm getting all fired up!

See you in a few weeks, Partner! Like ya said, Lucy, it's always more fun when we're together!

~Natsu Dragneel

The End