~ btsobsessedmills

well, this ending line got me literally grinning from ear to ear. i mean, who wouldn't? after all what yoongi had been through. i also have a quote in mind from your work, that one about the rain where some people get wet, while others feel it? it goes like that and i love that too.

hi again, dearest milli, this is vminfairy , your head chef and i hope ü enjoy your order ♡

[ 2020 review credits to hoelysprite aka vminfairy ]

﹥ˏˋ♡̩͙♡̩̩̥͙♡̩̥̩ ⋆ ♡̩̥̩♡̩̩̥͙♡̩͙ˊˎ﹤

Course 4 : Garden Fresh Salad

"PUT YOUR HEAD ON MY SHOULDER" by @btsobsessedmills

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1. Hors d'oeuvres ( 4 / 5 )

the cover is really pretty. the cool temperature of the photo tells the ambiance of the story itself which is great. i also love how the sticker matched the cover (btw, congrats for winning). just a few suggestions on the fonts of the words. if you're going to use cursive fonts, i think it's better if you'll only use small letters and only the first one as a capital letter.̩͙ 

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2. Soup ( 8 / 10 )

Title : Put Your Head On My Shoulder

Description :

i must say that the title is really loooong. remember that the longer the title the book has, the less it will be memorable for the reader. but at some point, since it's similarly named to an old song (by Paul Anka) which is currently being revived at social media apps like Tiktok and Youtube, this makes your title unique too. i legitimately sing that song whenever i read the title of the book and i think that's a good sign.

as for the description, I LOVE IT. in my opinion, it's very intriguing and i think it is because of the way you write your blurb. great job on that!

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3. Salad ( 5 / 5 )

well, what can i say? the preface itself got me hooked already. i was so giddy when i swiped to the next chapter!

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4. Main Dish ( 14 / 15 )

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chef's kiss* it's amazing! the story gives me a melancholic kdrama vibe and im a sucker for those genres. it's not sad and it isn't exactly a happy story. i'd say it's a light plot because the conflicts are not that big, mostly it's just because of yoongi's thoughts, behaviors and the likes. i'd say the story is well organized but a little rushed. i understand that it's a short story but still, we need to make its idea whole.

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5. Palate Cleanser ( 13 / 15 )

i so looooove the way you write! it's a fiction story and obviously not a poem book but it looks like one. it makes your story elegant in some way that i see and im totally up for it! keep up the good work!

as for the grammar, punctuation, consistency and the likes, i just have a few concerns. they are as follows:

case number one, adding the hyphen between the words week and rapping makes it a single word (a compound word to be exact). in my perspective, i think it must've been a typographical error. perhaps it was supposed to be

I had been busy the past week rapping in underground rap battles...

right here, we're missing commas (after ah, rate and neck). in my opinion, i think adding a comma after ah to indicate pause will emphasize the tone of your character. next one, we should also add a comma next to rate because it's the phrase 'at this rate' was used as an introductory . also, after the dialogue, you used a dialogue and action tag so it's just right that we'll go for the comma. so instead of the photo above, it should look like:

"Ah, at this rate, she'll strain and injure her neck," I mumbled under my...

let's talk about consistency and proper capitalization on this one.

we should apply consistency to make our works look more formal and pleasant to the eyes of the readers. at some chapter that Se-ra on the photo above is written as Se ra. suggestion, just choose one form of the character's name to use throughout the entire book.

for me both will do since it's a korean name and i don't know if there are rules on how you write hangul names in english. does it need a hyphen? do you separate the syllables? or do you just write it? but most of the kpop fics that i read, korean names are just written plainly, without any hyphens (just sharing my perspective as a reader).

types of dashes and correct words to use.

after the word bus, you used a hyphen but in the sentence, the hyphen's purpose seems to be emphasizing its next parts.

a hyphen's (-) purpose is for making compound words and making phrases shorter, based on what ive learned. an en-dash (–)  is used for replacing to and and, or used in ranges. while em-dash (—) is used for incomplete words, emphasizing, alternative for parentheses, and such.

so instead of: She looked strange somehow when she got on the bus-

perhaps we should try: She looked strange somehow when she got on the bus—

this one, i believe is just a typographical error. but i decided to point it out to help you find errors if ever you want to edit your work.

wrly ✕

wryly ✓

so far, that's it. if i ever miss something that you need advice with these things, ill be happy to help you. please remember that all of these were just my suggestions and were based on my own opinions and lessons learned in school, books, and articles.

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6. 2nd Main Dish ( 9 / 10 )

i love how perfectly written the conflict was written by just using one character. giving yoongi internal monologues whenever he contemplates about the situation is really helpful. because ive witnessed how he gradually tests his courage to go for sera. i was just hoping that to know sera more in the story as she remains a mysterious character for me.

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7. Dessert ( 4.5 / 5 )

for me, the ending is neither sad or happy. there's just in between. and im furious because a reader would obviously want to read what will happen next, now that they met formally (?). although i feel like it's a little rushed, it managed to bring satisfaction to me as a reader.

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+ Wine ( 4 / 5 )

author's notes, the way you interact with readers, iu's photos for better referencing, and visual aids. yup, it's A for effort. i just want to suggest that if you'll write an author's note, please add it before the chapter starts and not when it ends. again, it might disturb the momentum of the ending of the chapter (esp. when it's sad and gloomy) and some readers wouldn't like that.

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TOTAL =  61.5 / 70

what a delectable meal! we hope you enjoyed your order here at fairesto ♡ if ever you have clarifications, questions, or objections about the review always remember that we could always talk about it over a scrumptious meal (aka through dm's).

thank you for trusting fairesto, dear milli! have a lovely day ahead ~

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"changes are funny concepts too"

Put Your Head On My Shoulder by btsobsessedmills