~ goldenmaknae5620

i so love quotes that talk about bettering ourselves. tbh, i loved bts, even more, when they advocated self-love and the quote above reminded me of it. 

hi dearest maha, this is vminfairy , your head chef, and i hope ü enjoy your order ♡

[ 2020 review credits to hoelysprite aka vminfairy ]

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Course 2 : Creamy Chicken and Mushroom

"MY FAVOURITE FLAVOR" by @goldenmaknae5620
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1. Hors d'oeuvres ( 5 / 5 )

i like how the cover itself already tells the people what kind of story it will be.  the wordings you added are all in place and none of it seems to appear out of the context. also, adding the word 'censored' made it more brilliant so that readers are already warned beforehand.

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2. Soup ( 8 / 10 )

Title : My Favourite Flavor

Description :

so, making it 'favourite' rather than 'favorite' for the title is a good move for me. it makes the title fancier. and yes, throughout the story, the readers will definitely identify why you chose that title, great job!

as for the description, if you'll look closely it's not really long if you only focus on the true blurb of your story. i love how you describe your story with that one paragraph and you also added a quote. not everyone can do a good job at combining both quotes and blurb in a story description. i actually liked it. i only have a few concerns about grammar.

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3. Salad ( 5 / 5 )

the first chapter got me hooked, i never really tried reading mafia au's because im not entirely up for it. but, hey, you got me there!

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4. Main Dish ( 6 / 15 )

i really do understand the concept of your story that jungkook is a cruel criminal who doesn't know when to stop with his abusive behaviors. your theme includes sensitive topics such as rape/violence, which is not an issue to me because i did say that i will be accepting mature books. but at some point in the first few chapters, in my point of view, those sensitive topics were quite romanticized and it disturbed me a little bit. i know it may be done unintentionally but it was how i saw it.

also, there are scenes that can easily have a hole in it. it's like some of the conflicts of the story are solved with too much ease. which is alright for people who don't search for more realism in a story but unfortunately, you can find me in that other group of people.

what i love about the plot is how most of the chapters are necessary to fully indulge the story itself. in other words, it's like when you skip a chapter, you will get lost at the next one because what happened to the last is entirely connected to the next one.

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5. Palate Cleanser ( 9 / 15 )

the way you write is incredible. you were able to let your readers feel what your characters are feeling and see what your characters are seeing. you have very descriptive sentences that compliment the scenes in the story.

about the chapters, i just noticed that from chapter one to the very last, the length of the chapters was gradually getting longer. in my opinion, having the same length of chapters in a story is crucial. it can't be too short nor too long. ive read that the minimum words of a chapter should go around 2000 - 5000. this way, readers can easily get back on track from where they stopped. because the tendency of having very long chapters readers get tired and would eventually stop in the middle, and when they go back some would have to reread the whole chapter again to jog up their memory. other than that, we also have to work on our word consistency.

this seems like an easy job but still, some of us forget to apply this.

so for example is the photo above. as shown, it's a dialogue, characters are talking. the word 'okay' was used and then it became 'ok'. it might not be a big deal but it can create a huge difference. you can use either of the two but make sure to use the same all throughout. in this case, i suggest 'okay' as it looks more formal.

as for the grammar and punctuation, there are some things that i would like to point out.

in the photo above we have two things to look at. the capitalization of proper nouns and the proper use of an article.

first, it says, "Our baby kook is so weak to take care of the gangs or anything."

according to what ive learned before when we use family titles next to the name of a person (eg. Uncle Alex, Aunt Theresa), then both should start with a capital letter.

therefore instead of that, it should be, "Our Baby Kook is so weak to take care of the gangs or anything."

second, "Though he's a heir."

when i was in pre-school our teacher would tell us to use the article 'a' when the next word's first letter is a consonant and 'an' if it's a vowel. but when i entered high school our professors began correcting that teaching. it's not about what is the first letter, it's about how we pronounce the first letter of the word.

for example, let's take the word 'horse' it's pronounced with an 'h' sound. therefore we should use 'a'.

(We saw a horse).

next example is the word 'hour', we don't exactly pronounce it as 'har' but as something like 'are' or 'ar'. in conclusion, we should use the article 'an' in this type of situation.

(The event will start in an hour.)

so instead of "Though he's a heir." It should be "Though he's an heir." Because we pronounce the word 'heir' like 'air'.

so here it says. "Your hair are long." but collective nouns such as 'hair' are considered as a single noun. so instead of using 'are' it should be, 'Your hair is long.'

as for the 'Cut them.' i think it's still acceptable but to make sure changing 'them' to 'it' is most appropriate.

im not entirely sure about the photo above. ive searched the word 'regrettions' on online dictionaries that i trust but i can't seem to find its meaning. it made it hard for me to comprehend the meaning of the sentence itself. perhaps it's 'regressions'? please let this cavewoman know if it has an actual meaning. :)

on this part, i thought it was just a typographical error but i noticed that the same word was used twice. 'loose' is entirely different from the word 'lose'.

'loose' is an adjective that means a thing is not tight enough. it can also be a verb with the same meaning as the word 'release'. and in some cases, the word can also be a noun.

'lose' on the other hand, is only a verb. according to merriam dictionary, it means deprivation of something. and i think this word fits the context more for the photo above.

in this last photo, ive also experienced the same. i used to think that if i use the word 'didn't' the next word should be in the past tense. but it should be the opposite. using the word 'didn't' is a simple past negative case.

it should be subject + didn't + base form of the verb.

therefore it should be 'She didn't respond.' instead of 'She didn't responded.'

always remember that all of the stuff suggested above are based on what i've learned from school and some books. im always open to corrections ^.^

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6. Second Main Dish ( 9 / 10 )

after a long journey, i can clearly see the growth of the characters in the story. you did a great job of portraying their developments! yuni is now bold and brave enough and obviously, jungkook chose a better path and neglected his past behaviors, but not entirely (which is good). the characters' past selves are still traits that make them who they are. for example, although i've mentioned that yuni became more fierce, i can still see her sweet innocence at the latter parts of the story through her behaviors.

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7. Dessert ( 5 / 5 )

all i have to say about the ending was that it's so satisfying. ive seen them grow so much in the story. theyve experienced a lot. having a nice happy ending makes me... happy for them as well. as for someone like me who's not a fan of happy endings as i think it's too unrealistic, you got me there too!

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+ Wine ( 5 / 5 )

probably gonna give you a perfect score here because YES to your efforts. the gifs, the fancy texts and fonts, and the way you spoil your readers with photos ♡. as a reader i admire how you ask your readers for suggestions and reviews then you eventually apply them in your book.

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TOTAL = 52 / 70

excellent delicacy! we hope you enjoyed your order here at fairesto ♡ if ever you have clarifications, questions, or objections about the review always remember that we could always talk about it over a scrumptious meal (aka through dm's).

thank you for ordering, dear maha ! have a lovely day ahead ~

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"love is when your heart is at ease"

My Favourite Flavor by goldenmaknae5620