~ ILoveYou323

a four-letter sentence that speaks a lot. there are so many remarkable lines in your book, but i still chose this one. it's short but for me, you could definitely find various and hidden meanings in it as i read the book. (つД')

hi dearest athena, this is vminfairy , your head chef and i hope ü enjoy your order ♡

[ 2020 review credits to hoelysprite aka vminfairy ]

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Course 1 : Egg Hors D'oeuvre

"DISRUPTION" by @ILoveYou323

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1. Hors d'oeuvres ( 5 / 5 )

very simple, but i like it! i prefer covers that are not too crowded, like there are so many stickers and such. i also love the fact that you used jimin in mots 7 era as it goes perfectly well with the timeline of the plot!

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2. Soup ( 9 / 10 )

Title : Disruption

Description :

the title is definitely fresh. not a lot of books are entitled with that term. so that's a very good pick 'cause if people search for that word here, your work will probably pop out on their search results. im also a fan of one-word titles, so yeah, you got me on this one!

as for the description, i've previously said that i'm really not into long descriptions. in my opinion, either of the two paragraphs written above would do well as the blurb. both are catchy. but if i were going to pick, i'd choose the second paragraph as it is how descriptions are truly written.

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3. Salad ( 3 / 5 )

the first chapter wasn't totally hooking for me. but some statements really got me curious, especially on what happened between tina and jimin before. you got me wondering about what was their past like? why did tina leave? and more other questions erupted in my head.

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4. Main Dish ( 12 / 15 )

i must say that the events are well organized. i bet you've done great research about the boys' schedule during mots era and im giving you props for that! even before i stan bts, ive read a couple of fanfics that have a work or office relationships, so it's not that new to me. nevertheless, i still liked the plot. what made it unique is that the two main characters had a very deep past, which not only affected them but also those characters around them. in that particular aspect, it gave the supporting characters certain missions which made the story even more interesting. it's like you used the other characters well that they added spice in it. im just quite wondering how all this time jimin still can't recognize tina as his tina. if i remembered it right, jin even recognized her and he just kept the information to himself.

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5. Palate Cleanser ( 12 / 15 )

i have really nothing to say about the way you write. i mean, as i see it you really have a talent for writing, and im actually honored to review your magnificent work. your writing style makes your reader feel like they're a part of your story. if the scene gets intense, i feel frustrated too, if it goes downhill, i feel like an emo kid. but on the other side, i kinda feel like the often shifts of point of view got me confused and the other side of the story wasn't a mystery to me anymore. which is the point of shifting povs, but isn't somehow better if sometimes we make our readers wonder what was on this character's mind?

as for the grammar and punctuation, everything is alright. i just noticed a few errors. posted below are some:

first, p.o.v means the point of view. in other words it can also be called the perspective of the character or tina's/jimin's perspective. so, i suggest that maybe it should go like Tina's POV instead of just Tina POV.

on this part, i guess it's just a typographical error. the word my can be replaced by me. or maybe it can go as it took everything in my power not to rip that girl's arms off when she...

in this photo, we're missing a pronoun. maybe instead of : Not only did I make cry after yelling at her,...

it should've been like this : Not only did I make her cry after yelling at her,...

a lot of people usually tend to have this mistake since there are a lot of words that rhyme. even i am guilty of this. i think the word their should be rewritten as there in this paragraph.

or another option is : I ran out of their (insert a place., eg. room, house) so quickly, someone would swear that I was being attacked.

in here, we're missing a comma. since after your dialogue was an action plus dialogue tag, instead of a period we'll be using a comma.

so, from this : "I'll help you; I won't let you fall in" He said to ease the evident worry on my face.

it should change into this : "I'll help you; I won't let you fall in," He said to ease the evident worry on my face.

things listed above are my suggestions and opinions based on what i know. feel free to correct me in a civil manner if some of it are wrong. ♡

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6. 2nd Main Dish ( 9 / 10 )

the story already has a lot of chapters and i must say that i witnessed how the characters developed and evolved. just like what i've said in the main dish part, almost everyone is involved in the story. like jungkook, without jungkook, jimin will not burst out and speak out that he likes tina. you gave importance even with the supporting characters. the main characters have distinct mannerisms like jimin brushing his hair and tina scribbling on her ipad when jimin screws up, again. and as i read the book until the latest chapter, i imagined how everyone grows as a character in the story.

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7. Dessert ( 4 / 5 )

the 'i love you' on the very last part literally killed all my brain cells. i mean, if jimin really does love tina, can they just talk it out without doing anything stupid anymore? jimin tends to say a thing and does the other which is totally frustrating to me. t'was a good chapter though.

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+ Wine ( 4 / 5 )

aside from the well-written plot, i love how you interact with your readers. like how you add questions at the end and will make them think about more possibilities of what might happen next. about the author's note, as a reader, i appreciate it. but in my opinion, sometimes, adding an author's note at the end kills the mood of a chapter that closes with someone crying or something like that.

anyway, thanks for writing this book, i enjoyed reading it!

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TOTAL = 58 / 70

order up! we hope you enjoyed your order here at fairesto ♡ if ever you have clarifications, questions, or objections about the review always remember that we could always talk about it over a scrumptious meal (aka through dm's).

thank you for ordering, dear athena ! stay lovely ~

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"indifference is indeed much worse than hatred"

Disruption by ILoveYou323