The carriage arrived in front of Topkapi Palace. Palace I haven't seen for 5 years since I left covered in tears. Nothing has changed about this place and something around my heart made me nervous to even be here. Mother and Suleiman have have written to me so many times to arrive, but I have never answered on those subjects because I wanted to keep this place far away from me.

When I found my happiness with Namik I thought I would never again have to return to this place which I hated more than anything. Here I felt like a bird who was locked and couldn't have any freedom, while in Bosnia I could do whatever I would wish to.

Carriage stepped and it was Namik's time to leave as he was invited to meet the Sultan at the male part of the Palace. Even though he was Sultana's husband he wasn't allowed to enter the Harem so he couldn't get even in the courtyard of it. Only eunuchs and men who Sultan allowed if was necessary could be seen close to Harem.

When Namik left he gave me the look "everything will be fine" and smiled to me before getting out of the carriage. I took a deep breath and continued to ride until we would reach the courtyard of Harem.

Suddenly the carriage stopped which meant we are in the courtyard of Harem. A man opened the curtains and waited for me to get out of the coach. I excepted to see Sumbul Agha awaiting for me or my family, but I saw a young man which was probably some Agha or a Pasha which was weird to me.

"Sultanim, welcome to Istanbul," he said as he bowed to me and have tried to not look at me, but he couldn't and I caught his look on me. If Namik would have been here he would have been angry for sure for another man looking at his wife, but luckily he wasn't to make problems at the first day of our arrival.

"My family didn't come even to meet me?" I said more than to myself than to him, but I said it out loudly looking around how no one of them didn't even try to get outside of their luxurious chambers to see their daughter or a sister. This showed me how much they didn't care because whoever was arriving was awaited for in the courtyard.

"Valide Sultana said she is expecting you in her chambers," man said still focusing to look at the ground and not to look at me which was prohibited for him.

"You are here new? Where is Sumbul Agha?" I asked him surprisedly because Sumbul would be always the person I would see the first and nothing in Harem could go without his knowledge.

"No, Sultanim. I'm Osman Agha, I am not working in Harem. I am the door keeper here," he said and I understood everything now why he was so afraid in front of a woman, as he should be as he wasn't eunuch and wasn't allowed to be in women presence.

I nodded with my head and followed by my two maids, Gulcemal and Fehime, entered through the doors that were bringing me to Harem. A place I haven't seen for so long but haven't even missed it. All the concubines gathered to see who is arriving.

"ATTENTION! HER IMPERIAL MAJESTY FAHRIYE SULTANA!" I heard a familiar female voice noticing at the begining of Harem and all the girls stood in a line to bow to me. I could see they were all curious who I am because all of them were young and weren't here in the time I lived here.

"Daye Hatun," I said as I came closer to woman which raised me and who treated me better for my whole life than my mother. The person who I actually looked at like my mother.

"Sultanim, you are finally here! We missed you so much!" Daye said as tears of happiness came into her eyes and she couldn't do anything but to hug me in this moment which made me emotional too.

"I guess you are the only one missing me as my brother or mother couldn't even find time to meet me," I said and Daye looked me with sadness in her eyes. She was so close with my mother and she knew what is she like and that way she could understand excatly how do I feel.

"Don't say like that! Valide Sultana, Sultan and your sister Hatice missed you so much," Daye said showing me to follow her to go in my Valide's chambers.

I felt so nervous walking there for the whole time because last time I saw my mother she was yelling on me and was so angry, and after that we only corresponded through the letters and she was so cold in them with barely any nice word for me.

"Sultana, thanks to God, your children are so beautiful. May God bless them," Daye said looking at Kaya who held Gulcemal's hand and little Mahmud who was held by Fehime.

"Amin," I said as we came in front of chambers of my mother and at this moment I wished I could just return to the carriage and say to the coachman to drive me back to my Palace in Bosnia, but I found enough courage to enter here in the place I wasn't important to anyone.

"Fahriye," mother said as she got up when she saw me. She didn't have a lot of smile on her face, rather more cold expression but surprised to see me here. I bowed to her, walked closer and kissed her hand due to sign of respect towards her.

"Valide," I said and acted cold the same way she was towards me and it was obvious everyone aside was shocked by our expressions.

"My daughter, I missed you," Valide said emotionally this time and hugged me which she hasn't done anytime yet and this was so weird to me, but I hugged her too. At the end she was my mother and I was sure this was more to show to others how "good mother" she is than how much she loves me.

"Hatice," I said with a smile when I saw my elder sister who had big baby bump. I loved Hatice even though in my childhood I was angry because she was the favourite one who got everything. When I was little I was jealous, but now it wasn't like that anymore.

"Fahriye, you look so beautiful now. You grow up so fast," Hatice said almost not recognising me since in those 5 years I grow up a lot and I was a lot more mature. At the end I left this Palace when I was still a child.

"My beautiful grandchildren, come here," Valide said as she showed me to sit on her sofa next to her and Hatice while three women were sitting on the pillows, out of them who I knew Gulfem and Mahidevran and the third one for sure must be Hurrem whom I heard about a lot.

"This is Kaya, and this is Mahmud," I said showing to my mother her grandchildren and she showed so much love towards them like she has never showed to me and that actually hurt, because I also wanted to be loved like that. But at least now I know how I shouldn't act towards my children.

After mother kissed and hugged her grandchildren I nodded to Gulcemal and Fehime to take them with themselves as I needed to talk with my mother and sister.

"Sultana, you are even more beautiful than they talk about you," red-haired woman which was supposed to be Hurrem said. Mahidevran rolled her eyes when she started to speak. Everyone was talking only bad things about her and I knew Mahidevran, Hatice and Valide couldn't stand her and she was excatly the person I wanted to meet the first.

"Same you do Hurrem, they talked about you so many things, but I see why my brother fell in love with you," I said and smiled to her which made Valide, Hatice and Mahidevran look themself. They obviously didn't want me close to Hurrem and I knew I would get to hear only bad things how I must stay away from her.

"I would like to meet my nephews Mehmed and Mihrimah," I said to her as I was happy while we are here my children will have someone to play with who is their age.

"And I hope you will stay with us to meet the third one coming," Hurrem said and touched her pregnant belly which was so small compared to Hatice's one but that was normal since Hatice was supposed to give birth very soon.

"Mahidevran, how are you? How is Mustafa?" I asked her and she smiled politely to me. I knew her since she arrived to Manisa and I heard a lot of bad things she has done to Hurrem which made her fall down in my eyes, but she was still mother of a prince and deserved respect.

"We are fine Sultana, after being so many times provoked we are handling good," Mahidevran said and looked at Hurrem who was obviously the one who provoked her.

I never wanted to mix into the relationships of the consorts because I have no idea how would I act if I was in their position. I could never be able to share a man I love with another woman, there would be no way for that. And I had luck that I am Sultana by birth and my husband can't have another woman beside me.

"Now if you will excuse me, I want to meet my brother Sultan," I said and left my mother's chambers hoping Suleiman ended his meeting with Namik as I wanted to see him. In those thirty minutes I have spent in mother's chambers I have already been enough of Harem drama, and this was nothing what would come one day when all those princes and sultanas grow up.

I came in front of his chambers and luckily I found out he has end his meeting with my husband so door keepers allowed me to enter Suleiman's chambers.

"Hunkarim," I said as I entered his chamber and saw him sitting on his work desk making jewelry like he always used to.

"Fahriye, sister, welcome!" Suleiman said and immediately left the jelwery and went to hug me. He seemed to me like the one who was happiest to see me out of all those people, and I was happiest to see him.

"I'm so happy to see you after so many years," I said and this time I have truly meant it.

"You haven't answered us on all the letters when we asked you to leave, and now you came by yourself. Did anything bad happen?" Suleiman asked me and I knew he would because he could read the person so easy. He for sure knee that this was Namik's idea and I didn't even care if he would know about it because I didn't want to help Namik about politics I wasn't interested in.

"Namik actually wanted to go to Istanbul as he had to meet with you so I thought this would be the perfect opportunity. Valide was also happy when she saw her grandchildren," I said what I knew will soften Suleiman's heart.

"Is everything fine between you and Namik? Are you happy with that marriage?" Suleiman asked me like he knew something doesn't work right in the last time. But I wouldn't let anyone know what happens in my private life because it's only ours thing, I still loved him no matter what.

"Everything is fine, Hunkarim. I am happy with my life with him and in Bosnia. I found my peace and that is the most important thing," I said and smiled to him when we sat on the sofa in his chambers.

"I hope it is like that. I don't want anyone to make my beautiful sister's face covered in tears ever again," Suleiman said as he placed his hand on my cheek.

As the night fell I left the palace together with my maids and my children. Suleiman ordered to give us Marmara Palace as our temporary residence while we are in Istanbul. Namik was already there the whole day as he couldn't be for the long time in the Palace.

As I sat in the carriage again the man I met this morning, Osman Agha, sat next to me in carriage which surprised me why is he doing that.

"This is Sultan's order I have to follow you to your palace and be there at service for you and Namik Pasha," he said and I didn't know why would Suleiman find this suitable when we came with our personal guards and servants who we trust the most. Something was very weird for me in this whole story but I didn't pay much attention to it as I wanted to get at bedroom and sleep finally.