"I swear to God, y'all. This morning I woke up wrapped in Jaime Knox's arms," I practically screamed over brunch with Harriett and Lulu. I chugged my Mimosa and sighed through a mouthful of crisp bacon. "He sang Bob Seger to me. I think our dinner cost more than my rent. Y'all should see his boat, unbelievable! I knew the right man for me would have a boat. Do you think he'll call soon? Can y'all believe last night I drank Champagne aboard the man of my dream's flipping boat? What's the percentage that this will work out, seriously?" I paused for the first time, taking a swig of my drink and anticipating a response, "Well?"

"Rude, rude, rude," Lulu admonished shaking her head. "I see we have a serious problem here, Annie. I'm enforcing the five-minute-rule."

The five-minute-rule was born years ago, of necessity. It's enforced when one of us gets carried away, lost in a love fantasy of grand proportion, incapable of speaking of anything other than the current object of our affections. It simply meant that once invoked the love-lost victim had five minutes remaining of talk time on the subject before she was cut off.

"We don't want to see you get hurt by him, again, Annie," Harriett said softly, honestly.

"If that little bastard hurts her again I'm going country-crazy on his ass," Lulu said , kneading her hands as if welcoming a fight. "A Texas beat-down," she smacked her fist into her open palm.

"What makes y'all so sure I'm going to get hurt?" I asked, not liking the wild, street thug look in Lulu's eyes.

"We're not sure you're going to get hurt, Annie," Harriet was quick to correct.

"But, history does repeat itself so let's not go naming y'alls future children quite yet," Lulu warned, in her usual insensitive manner.

I stuffed more bacon in my mouth, trying not to scream. "Give me a percentage," I demanded mouthful, not wanting to squander my remaining precious minutes.

"Fifty-percent," they replied in unison, laughing as if this information was funny.

"Fifty? Fucking fifty! Oh fuck, really?" I said, clearly rattled. "But he bought me a fancy dinner. And he didn't waste any time in setting up our date. You weren't there. He didn't want to leave my side. All night our date lasted!"

"Wait a minute, did he even kiss you?" Lulu asked, eyes narrowed.

"Well, no, not yet. But I could tell he wanted to."

"Five minutes are over for fucking, Jaime KnoxyFag! O-V-E-R," Lulu said, no room in her voice for debate.

"Okay, fine," I said, remembering my odd exchange with Jack Swanson. "Y'all will never guess who I ran into at the marina."

"Who?" Harriett asked.

"Jack Swanson, and oh man he is hot!" I gushed.

"That's how daddy likes them," Lulu said laughing, "hot and homosexual!"

"Anyways," I forged on, somehow bothered by Lulu's remark. "He said the weirdest thing. Something about liking my writing?"

"Ohh-kay, Annie, I think you've done enough sharing for one day. Geez, let someone else talk for once," Lulu exclaimed speedily. "Can I at least tell y'all about my date with pancake fleshy-face last night?"

"I need to tell y'all something too," Harriett spoke up, uncharacteristically forward in her eager desire to step into the spotlight. "After Lulu's done I mean," she amended.

They exchanged a look that did not go unnoticed. My friends were up to something.

"So, my date picked me up last night in one of those obnoxious box cars," Lulu told us, disgusted.

"Maybe he's into saving energy," Harriett reasoned, ever Ms. Brightside.

"It was a big boxy car and he played an Oklahoma the musical CD." Lulu's mind was clearly made-up on the offensive nature of her date's vehicular and musical choices. "It was orange," she finished, throwing her arms wide.

I couldn't help but laugh at the repulsed look shrouding Lulu's gorgeous face and my friends joined in my fit of giggles.

"I'm sorry if I was bitchy about Jaime," Lulu told me. "The date does sound awesome. I have questions about him is all. I love you, Annie."

"Nick called," Harriett broke in abruptly.

"What is this revenge of the heartbreakers?" Lulu gasped. "Nick called? What the hell did he want?"

"He wanted to say, hey." She feigned nonchalance. "He's still in New York. But he's planning a trip to Dallas in the next couple of weeks. He wants to get together and catch up."

"Hmph," Lulu grunted. "I have questions for that one too."

"Follow your heart," I advised my friend, sensing how much she still ached for Nick, Harriet's version of Jaime. "You never know what's going to happen."

Later that evening I sat cross-legged on my living room floor, bowl of popcorn in lap, eagerly awaiting the Bachelor to air. Filled with enthusiasm I decided to take notes as the women on television exited the limo, rating them the way I do the Ms. America pageant every year. Begrudgingly I pulled myself up from my comfy floor pallet and began searching for pen and paper.

Having no luck in my hunt I made my way to my kitchen cabinets where I store all my journals and old diaries. Rummaging for an empty sheet of paper, I realized something felt out of place. Some of my diaries were missing. What the hell? My phone rang from the other room. Still puzzled, I raced to answer the incoming call.

My cell buzzed smartly and the name Jaime Knox scrolled across my incoming call screen. I knew it! I cried, hysterically happy and already eager to share with Lulu and Harriett exactly how wrong they were about Jaime.

"Hello," I answered, breathless.

"Hey baby, It's Jaime."

"Hi, how are you?" I asked, heart a quiver. Baby!

"Excellent," Jaime shot back sounding every bit the part. "I want you to come away with me."

"What?" I asked dumbly, quite ready and willing to pack my bags but puzzled as to what exactly he meant. "Where are we going?"

"I'm thinking a weeklong retreat to Playa Del Carmen. Lie on the beach, enjoy the Jacuzzi, order room service, what do you think? Next week?" Jaime asked, sounding certain of what my answer would be.

I had to sit down. My dreams had come true, "Of course I'll go! Oh wow, that sounds absolutely amazingly perfect!" I cried, envisioning Jaime, rubbing oil on my back as we basked in the Mexican sun sipping happily from rum-filled coconuts. "Yes, yes, yes. Oh my God. Wait, noooo! No, no, no!" I screamed to the black cloud of realization raining on my parade. "I can't go," I told him flatly. "I have an interview Monday morning for an internship." I exhaled loudly with unreserved defeat.

"No problem," he told me, sounding as if he meant it, not nearly as upset as he should be.

I waited on him to join in my depression, echo my loss, but he did not. Nor did he question me about my obviously important interview. He simply said, "We'll talk soon, okay Annie."

"Okay," I said, holding back tears.

"Annie, you sound so sad. I can't have you upset. How about this, we could skip the travel and try a weekend stay at Hotel ZaZa instead. Does that work?"

The prickling sensation behind my eyes ended abruptly and I felt a surge of hope. "Really?" I asked, well aware of the uber-trendy reputation of the ZaZa.

"Sure, why not?" Jaime said, sounding pleased in his ability to so violently swing my emotions.

"Okay, okay, yes! I can do a weekend retreat," I said in exuberance. "Let's do it!"

"I'll pick you up Friday."

Immediately I called Harriett while skipping happy-circles around my living room floor.

"He loves me, he really loves me," I sang in an unfamiliarly dreamy head-in-the-clouds voice.

"What? Who loves you?" Harriett asked, forcing me to roll my eyes.

"Duh, Jaime loves me," I said, still weak in the knees with exhalation. "He invited me to Mexico but I couldn't go because of my interview with the Dallas Morning News on Monday." I feigned sadness to build up to my next piece of news. "But when Jaime heard I couldn't go he was so bummed he suggested we check into Hotel ZaZa for the weekend instead. Can you believe it? He canceled Mexico for me!"

"No way, Annie! I'm so happy for you," she said, sounding genuinely excited on my behalf. "The ZaZa is no joke."

I was pleased at the envy I heard in her voice. "I know!" I screamed, "He really loves me!"

"Congratulations, Annie," Harriet said, but I could tell her enthusiasm was waning.

"Thanks! Talk to you later, okay?" I asked.

When we hung-up I called Lulu, eager for a fresh audience. Receiving no answer I was forced to relish in my pleasure alone. I returned to the Bachelor, full of pity for the eager young contestants just beginning their journey down heartbreak road.

The next day I devoted myself to working on my thesis paper, which was due in two, short weeks. But for obvious reasons my head wasn't into it. I kept drifting off to what clothes I should pack or if we'd make love and if so how would he feel? Before long I gave up and called Lulu. Again she didn't answer, but a few minutes later my phone buzzed with an incoming text. Reading it I quickly gathered my swimsuit, keys and purse.

Twenty minutes later I was laying poolside in Lulu's lush backyard. She and Julian sunbathed beside me, each listening as I rattled off the finishing details of my upcoming vacation with Jaime Knox. Harriett wore a tiny swimsuit and her Nikon D800 strung about her neck. She crouched beside us snapping pictures and gulping her fruity cocktail. Harriett had a knack for capturing beauty on film and for alcohol consumption. She intended to make the most of her talents.

"Okay, y'all scoot over. I'm getting in this shot." She positioned herself seductively by the edge of the pool as the camera captured the image. "I'm putting these on Facebook so Nick will see how much fun we're having. This will make him miss me for sure," she said, already lining up her next frame.

Lulu, Jewls, and I indulged Harriett, mostly because we loved seeing our edited images once she was finished. Dying to give more details of my upcoming vacation with Jaime Knox, I changed the subject. "Can y'all believe it?" I asked once I brought them up to speed.

"Fiddle dee dee, you selfish bitch," Julian responded, sloshing vast amounts of suntan oil onto his already over-greased body. What the hell happened to the boob doctor and my pony? I'm coming with you to ZaZa."

I shimmied out of my Vitamin-A cover up and into the refreshingly chilled pool waters, escaping Julian's rant if only for a moment. Heaving my body onto a nearby floating raft, I settled happily into the sun warmed foam.

"Your Jaime trip sounds great, Annie. Just make sure you're well-rested and prepared for your interview Monday. It's more important," Harriett nagged.

"I had sex with a gaysion last night," Julian interjected, before I had a chance to respond to Harriett's worry-wart concerns.

"What the hell is a gaysion?" Lulu asked, sitting up in her chaise lounge, intrigued.

"A gay-Asian, stupid," Julian told her. "For such a diminutive man he was hung like my Indian-given pony. He tasted like soy sauce, all salty. I think I'm going to keep him. Jewls needs love too," he'd giggled at himself, immensely tickled by his imagined humor.

Harriett changed the subject, "So, my mom keeps trying to set me up with a guy I knew in high school, Matt John Barnes.

"Your mom's setting you up?" Lulu asked in a patronizing tone.

"Loser," Julian helped, forming an L with his fingers to emphasis his point.

"No, y'all, he was super cute in high school and sweet too! Don't you remember him, Annie? My mom loves his family and they have this amazing lake house. They invited me and some of my friends to come spend July Fourth weekend on Lake Texoma. My parents will be there, and well, I'm going." She looked at each of us for a show of support, willing us with her eyes to say we'd come along, meet Matt John.

"Darlin,' you're as nutty as squirrel dookie. Any relationship beginning with the words 'my mom said' is doomed to failure," Julian informed Harriett haughtily.

"Well, my mom also told me the Barnes's have stunt planes for airplane rides, a bunch of Sea Doos, a killer boat, and a huge fireworks display at the party. But I guess you think that's for losers too," Harriett played her last card, an Ace.

"I'm in," Lulu said without hesitation.

"Me too," Julian sang. "I wanna bring my gaysion!"

All three sets of eyes turned toward me. "Um, I can probably go," I told them cautiously, wandering if Jaime had already made us plans. "My thesis paper's due in two weeks, so I'll have to wait and see how far along I am."

I did feel badly for not immediately agreeing to my friend's request. But I pushed these thoughts away, deciding Jaime would probably want to come to the lake with me and my friends. "I'm sure I'll get it done," I reassured Harriett. July the Fourth was two weeks away and I couldn't think passed the upcoming weekend.

Don't be a ghost reader! I like to know who's been here and if you enjoyed the chapter. So please, pretty pretty please...push my star.

Also, I am taking part in the Brigade Watty Awards, and I'll be in love with you forever for voting for Fag Hag in the contest. It is chapter 83 and here is the link:

http://my.w.tt/UiNb/io0KGX0lkv

Thank you so very much!!