The morning after my failed hot tub liaison with Dr. Charles, I awoke refreshed and ready to enjoy a relaxing Sunday of reality television and snacks. Lazily, I gathered the necessary supplies: a cup of iced coffee, morning cigarette, cell phone, and Sunday's edition of the Dallas Morning News. Fully armed, I headed to my tiny, rat-cage of a balcony.   

Outside I inhaled deeply, enjoying the nicotine rush that followed. I sipped my drink and opened the paper, curiously flipping to the Arts and Leisure section, to check for a mention of Kettle Art Gallery's grand opening.  There was. Delighted, I read the scathing review.  Coming upon a quote by "local man Jack Swanson," I laughed aloud, spewing coffee onto the paper.  I reached for my cell to dial Harriett.

"Hello," she answered the sixth ring, sounding depressed. 

"Hey sugar, how are you?" I attempted to match her down-cast tone.

"I feel like death, like he murdered my heart.  And Annie, I did sleep with him.  I lied to Lulu so she wouldn't make a big deal, but, it was a big deal.  My heart is dead." She finished in tears, her voice a rush of emotion. 

"Oh, honey," I said, wanting to offer her words of comfort, but coming up short. 

"I'm a fool," she said firmly. 

"You're no fool, Harriett McNeal.  You're a young girl trying to find her way," I said, abolishing her of all fault.  "Let's grab brunch." Bacon and Bloody Marys are Harriett's equivalent to break-up ice cream. 

She agreed. I dressed quickly, phoning Julian and Lulu to join. Lifting our friend's spirits could take a village.   Recalling another surefire way to cheer her up, I grabbed the newspaper with Jack Swanson's quote and raced out the door to Breadwinner's, our favorite brunch local. 

Lulu, Harriett, Julian, and I sat around an outdoor courtyard table.  It was piled high with a pleasing array of eggs Benedict, buttery croissants, roasted rosemary potatoes, and sliced fresh fruit.  Four spicy Bloody Marys and a heaping side of crisp bacon completed our meal. 

Harriett had yet to speak.  No one expected her to until she consumed the fatty feast before her and at least three vodka-laced drinks.  She was on drink number two, but only her first bite of bacon, so the funeral-esque silence remained unbroken.

"Annie, tell me about Dr. Bazoonkas," Julian said, disrupting the quiet. "Lulu told me y'all are dating? I'd fuck him.  Have you ground your ugly with his fancy?  Betcha have."  He pushed away his fruit salad in favor of dunking a celery stalk garnish into his Bloody Mary.  He licked it like a lollipop.

Harriett rolled her eyes and pounced on his uneaten bowl of fruit.   Obviously she'd anticipated its early dismissal by Julian, who's known to survive entirely upon Oxycontin and miracles.

"I'm not sure what's going on with Charles and me," I said vaguely.  I glanced to Harriett for permission to discuss relationships in her presence. 

"Go ahead, Annie," she said bravely, picking up my hesitation to broach romance. "Tell us about him.  I could use a distraction."

And so I did.  I told them that although it started as nothing, a simple summer of lover's fling, the more time I spent with Charles the more I felt this could be bigger. I described our thrilling motorcycle rides, his mansion on the hill, and our romantic evening in his pool. Craftily I edited the ending to avoid them casting judgment upon my budding relationship. I told them about our upcoming date for tomorrow's baseball game and waited for their responses. 

"You're getting married!" Lulu pronounced loudly, jumping from her chair to offer a congratulatory hug.   

Not understanding entirely, but fully supporting the idea, I rose to meet her embrace.  "Thanks, Lulu.  Do you really think we'll get married?"

"Yes!" she told me full of excitement. "I can feel it."

"What percent certain are you?" I asked, as though she were a psychic with a degree in statistical analysis. 

"Ummmm," Lulu looked thoughtful, cocking her blonde head, giving serious thought to picking her number.  "Ninety-two percent!"

And trusting my friend's opinion entirely, as if she were Cupid himself awarding me a signed betrothal--I began to plan my royal wedding. 

"I can have a Monique Lhuillier wedding gown!"

"And a beach house in the Bahamas!" Lulu said.

"A penthouse apartment in uptown New York!" I sang.

"Ooooh, oooh. And a yacht for sailing!" she added. 

"And think of my engagement ring!  My diamond will be so enormous, so heavy, people will offer me help holding up my tiny wrist!" I said, waving my left hand heavily over our diminishing pile of breakfast food.

"Yes, yes, and you can buy all of us jewelry too.  Maids of Honor cocktail rings!" Lulu said.

Appearing to tune in, Julian joined the celebration. "You can buy me fancy things!" he cried clapping his hands in childish delight, selfishly pleased at the prospect of my soon-to-be riches.  "I want a Porsche.  And a pony.  Buy me my pony!  Please, Miss Annie, make it a show pony.  A fine, black, baby stallion, won't you please?" 

"And Annie, remember, when it comes to pre-nups, smart girls just say no," Lulu said knowingly. 

"No," Harriett boomed, halting our schoolgirl-like repartee.

Lulu and I hung our heads with shame, guilty of having forgotten our friend's still fresh pain.  Julian even stopped galloping his imaginary pony around our table long enough to offer Harriett an apologetic pout. But it was too late. The damage was done.

"Perfect," Harriett said, reaching for her vodka. "Annie is getting married and I'm going to die alone."

I never knew what to say in these types of situations, so when Lulu spoke first I mentally thanked her. 

"Harriett darling," she said, "don't be silly.  No one with breasts like yours is going to die alone.  This is supposed to be the summer of loverrrrr's, not the summer of lovesss.  You are obviously deeply confused."

Maybe Lulu didn't know what to say in these situations either.

"Harriett, I know it hurts now, but it won't always feel so awful.  In a few days you'll be able to see you dodged a bullet with that Mr. Martini asshole." Remembering the newspaper article, I retrieved it from my purse and thrust it in Harriet's upset face.  "Read this." 

She obliged, reading quietly to herself.  For the first time all morning, Harriett cracked a smile.  "I like that Jack Swanson," she said. Then she read his quote aloud. "Anyone purchasing 'art,' at Kettle Gallery's opening night should be ashamed.  They obviously have neither taste nor class." 

Harriett, Lulu, and I laughed at Jack's obvious jab at Mr. Martini and I patted myself on the back at my foresight, for having brought the newspaper as a mood enhancing prop. 

"Jack's right. Mr. Martini's as worthless as that piece of art he bought," I said, glad to see a smile on Harriett's face.

"I know.  But I still feel like a fool.  How could I have fallen for him so fast, without ever even knowing him?  I don't think I'm cut out for the summer of lovers.  I want to fall in love. Real live love.  Oh, God, I'm sorry y'all have to listen to me being such a downer." 

"Good Lord have mercy, me too!" Julian screamed.  "Borringggg, I thought you'd never stop.  So, Annie, watcha gonna buy me?"  He cocked his head and pouted his Restiline-filled lips. 

Harriett smartly chose to ignore his behavior.   "Do you really like Charles, Annie?  Because if you do, you know I'll support you, but--"

"Shush up! No more talkee," Julian told Harriett, holding his finger to her lips. "Annie, when can I have my pony?" 

And although I said nothing, a seed was planted.  Did I really like him? 

Yes, of course I liked him.  He was...great.  And obviously quite taken with me.  We had a great time together.  And well, yes, I liked him.  I mean, hello.  How Harriett couldn't see I was deliriously happy, I knew not."

As my friends debated amongst themselves who would receive the emerald stone as their cocktail-ring, wedding-party gift, I smiled thinking yes indeed, I liked Dr. Charles a lot. 

"Yes, Harriett.  I like him, really," I said, earnestly.

"Ok, then I'll take the ruby ring." 

"I call emerald!" Julian squealed. "It matches my eyes."

"Bullshit if you do. I'm better friends with Annie than you, Queeny McQueen.  I get emerald.  You can have sapphire," Lulu told Julian. "And Harriett, who says you'll be maid of honor?"

A few fantasy-greased hours later I was home, happy to be back to the quiet solitude of my apartment, even if it was small.  My friend's wedding day predictions danced in my head, causing a knot of anxiety to form in my gut. I desperately needed a distraction.  Realizing I also needed to study for my final in Investigative Journalism, I grabbed my essentially unopened textbook and curled up on my couch. 

My uninterested brain refused to focus.  It preferred to drift to Charles and the possibility of our future together.  Studying proved itself impossible and I gave up after an hour of cramming.  Instead I opted for checking my emails and calling it an early night. 

Click click click.  No Jaime Knox on Facebook.  Click click click   No Jaime Knox on Twitter.  Duh, I thought, surprised by my disappointment.

Oh well, at least I have Charles. Ignoring the uncomfortable sensation in my stomach quelling once again--I checked my email to find a message from Bryan.  About time, I thought, no longer feeling the rush of excitement I once felt for the singer.

At first he'd appeared so mysterious, a strikingly handsome, rock-star of a man.  But unveiling his mask revealed a spoiled, lazy, man-child.  Particularly when compared to the successful Dr. Charles.  I read on, mostly uninterested, but a wee bit curious none-the-less. 

Annie,
I miss your smell your country lips.
I will be at Black Hole Dive Friday evening,
Find me...your name's on the VIP list. 
Tryin' Bryan.

Although Bryan's interest did soothe my ego, I fell asleep certain he could never measure up to Jaime Knox, or for that matter, even to Charles.

Votes make my day. It lets me know you are enjoying the journey and I am so very appreciative of each and very one.

Also, I am taking part in the Brigade Watty Awards, and I'll be in love with you forever for voting for Fag Hag in the contest. It is chapter 83 and here is the link:

http://my.w.tt/UiNb/io0KGX0lkv

Thank you so very much!!