Resfeber

The gigantic satisfaction your heart immerses in when the day embarks after Tahajjud prayer is worth achieving. No matter how much our eyes need to be impelled to remain open, the feeling of security and contentment once we bow down before our creator and later on crying out about our worries and aspirations helps the mind confront serenity

My family usually woke up to pray Tahajjud, a habit Baba passed onto Mama and now we children happily practice it. It used to be tiring at times and so our minds failed to indulge in it. But after a while, through great effort, lessons and concentration the secrets about the worth of the prayer came undone.

To live, we need more things than what money can offer. Contentment, happiness and spirituality comes when our surroundings, blessings and insides intertwine. And every achievements and blessings reach you through Allah Azwajal.

Our hearts beat, lungs breathe and our nerves function because of his compassion.

I closed the Quran after reciting it. The rest of the ladies in the house were off to bed after praying Fajr. I place the Quran in it's usual place and reposition myself on the couch. Resting my head on it, I look up at the ceiling. Eyes weary but mind cruelly awake.

A sigh escapes my lips, thoughts rummaging the direction of life. The whirlwind of questions starts entering my petrified mind again, but I block it off, hoping to have a moment of peace.

The chirping of birds were perpetual. I looked through the window on my side to peak into the outside world, the dark sky ornamented with a gleam of light.

I loved this time of the morning. When the sun seemed to play hide and seek with the dark sky. When the birds squealed without the nuisance of the fast paced city. Many households started their day and so the clanking of pots and the whistles of cookers from the neighbours sounded in a distance.

Eventhough I held a liking to this time, funnily enough I would encounter it rarely. By this time I would reposition myself, under the duvet, curled up and sleeping soundly. Sleep was my favourite.

Unlike Nikhat who loved to be awake in the early mornings to observe the sky and it's beauty, and then chatter about it incessantly, I preferred the comfort of my bed, away from the outside to explore the massive world of sleep.

My thoughts were disrupted when Zayba entered and sat beside me.

"Can't sleep?" Zayba enquired.

"I can ask the same for you," I didn't gave a specific answer.

"Slept for hours after school yesterday and so I guess I had enough of it."

I nodded, looking down at the carpet that almost covered the whole living room.

"What are you thinking?" Zayba wanted me to speak about my worries atleast once. I knew she was afraid that all the happenings might break me if she choose to remain silent about it.

I looked at her, the silence weighing heavily in the room.

"Look Nau, I know we aren't the closest of siblings. We fight more than we have a civil conversation. But I really don't want you to be alone with the worries. The things that are going on....Well, we all are going through it together. And I guess we can only go through it if we stick together and tell each other our problems. Do you get what I mean?"

I couldn't help but agree to everything Zayba said, "When did you become so mature?"

"I was always mature. You just failed to notice," she shrugged.

"You know what is worrying me exactly."

"Yes I know. And I think we should talk about it. I couldn't sleep yesterday, so I was rolling around in my bed and thinking of all the random things," I nodded all along "I thought about how you can't find a job and then my amazing mind came up with an amazing idea."

Trust Zayba to bask in self glory when talking about an issue of great concern. But maybe that's what made her so lively and easy-going. I always found a lot of similarity between Zayba and Nikhat in that matter.

"What is the idea?"

"If you can't find a job in any company, why don't you do something on your own?" Zayba said as if it is the easiest thing out there.

"Here I can't even---" It was obvious how I would oppose.

"Let me finish," she stopped me. "You always tutor me and Sanam when we are close to exam and have any doubts. You help us clear everything, especially maths. I am not complimenting you, but you are pretty good at it. You have a nice way of teaching maths and it is the subject most students detest eventhough you fail to understand reason."

"So why don't you start taking extra classes for students who are perhaps writing their boards? Like a small tution center. Remember your maths sir from the last year of school? He used to make a lot of money through it. So why don't you try that as well?"

I was surprised. It was like a new vision opened before my blinded eyes. I couldn't decide my next words. "Never in my wildest dreams have I thought I would say this, but that is a fantastic idea Zay. You are a genius," Zayba couldn't even blink when I pounced myself onto her, hugging and placing floppy kisses all over her face.

"Eww eww get off me," Zayba resisted while I slowly let her go "I regret helping you now."

"You don't," I said knowingly and cheered. "You are the best sister after Sanam."

I felt like I could really do something about the current situation now. And that clearly lifted my mood.

Zayba rolled her eyes and then said "Grow up Naura!"

"I am only twenty."

"You are twenty. No longer a teenager. Time to be a mature adult," Zayba joked eventhough her face reflected that she knew how deeply I was in the newfound responsibility after the incident.

"Anyways, I will discuss this with Mama In sha Allah. And may be maamu too so that I could get some suggestions or something."

Zayba hummed in reply. We conversed for a bit about our studies. After a while Zayba stood up declaring she wants to do some painting as she hadn't done it for so long. I dispersed off to my room to catch up on my sleep, knowing that I have to wake up in a few hours for college. A hint of smile adorned my face while I laid on my bed, the emotion being a rare site these days.

_____

My eyes struggled to stay open as the sunlight almost blinded me. "If we buy some butter and apply it over our body, we can be chicken tandoori under this heat," I said to Nikhat grumpily because the girl had the stupid idea of hanging out in the campus this lunch break.

She wanted to have our lunch between nature while enjoying it's beauty. Well, I can't even open my eyes to do so. We walked through the vast campus, searching for a spot to settle.

"Not chicken, human tandoori," she said seriously.

I held the hem of my Abaya, trying not to trip while matching her fast pace. "It sounds like you want to be one. But I don't. So can we go back in?"

She glared at me. "Stop whining," she looks around the place we reached and then points to a spot "That place would be fine."

I huff and follow her lead while she rests her bag on the seat under the huge tree and settles there. I sit there purposely sighing to make her realize how displeased I am.

"Let's get over with this," I mumbled to myself.

The both of us were focusedly taking out the lunch boxes from our bag when a shadow appeared in front of us. My gaze followed it's owner, only regretting that it did.

Guess who it is?

With wide eyes, I look over at Nikhat remembering how angry she was when I told her of yesterday's incident. She wanted to "rip his lion mane off." But I convinced her to leave him and his childish antics be.

"Assalamu Alaykum girls," He cheered with that stupid smirk of his that almost never left his face. We knew he said the salam only for the first impression

We mumbled our reply, eyes downcast and me hoping Nikhat would refrain from breaking his neck, not that she would be able to.

"Chipmunk! Thank god you are here," he exclaimed.

"You are really playing with fire Daniyal," Nikhat gritted.

"I missed you and your attitude so much yesterday," He was blinded in his world of ecstasy and continued "Ask chashmish over here if you doubt!"

Chashmish?! Oh no! I forgot to remove my glasses after the class. What a forgetful brain you have got Naura!

Before Nikhat could say anything I stood up abruptly, noticing that the others in the campus is staring at the three of us.

"Listen here Daniyal," Nikhat said in frustration. "I don't know what your problem is or why you have a sudden interest in befriending us. But just so you know, we aren't clearly the type to befriend anyone, especially you. So please leave us be. We don't have any interest in chatting with you."

She stood up midway and Daniyal processed all of her words inside his dense brain. Atlast he whistled, "Woah, Didn't know you were this fiesty. I like it," He winked and I internally gag.

Badtameez! I should have let Nikhat strangle him.

Fuming, Nikhat demands "Daniyal get out of our way," He looked at her, amused as if she just joked with him.

Why is he like the typical flirty bad boys from those books that I read?

"The chipmunk voice sounds better when you are angry. So I should make you angry more often."

"What the----?" Nikhat barely composed herself.

"By the way, I didn't catch your actual name chipmunk."

"Oh you wouldn't because I didn't throw it."

Me and Nikhat eyed each other, speaking through them that we should leave. We collected our bags, hurriedly putting the lunchbox into it. Receiving a huge grin from Daniyal, we left the place giving him an equally hard death glare.

And when we were far from him, Nikhat starts ranting about him angrily. I agree with everything while being infuriated and hoping he stops bothering us.

_____

I rang the doorbell of my house wearily, a furious Nikhat along with me. Sanam opened the door in her school uniform, hinting that she just came back from school.

"Uncle, aunty and Ishaaq went to meet some old relative of hers. Will be back after Maghrib In sha Allah," I attended to her unasked question while entering.

"Why do you look so angry Nikk Aapi?" Sanam questioned.

I wanted to snicker at the question, but my frustration and fatigued mind withheld.

"Nothing. We will go see mama. I want to talk to her," I said to a confused Sanam.

We washed our hands, a habit Mama the hygienist made sure her children followed after entering the house. We knocked on Mama's bedroom door, heading in when she answered.

"Assalamu Alaykum. Good to see you Nikhat," Mama was doing Tasbeeh, sitting on her bed. She looked worn out as always.

I explained the reason for Nikhat's presence and then said. "There is something I wanted to talk to you about, if Zayba hasn't already told you."

With a confused face Mama answered "Zayba didn't tell me anything. Is there something wrong?" The motherly part of her worried that maybe her daughters have landed in some trouble because she couldn't look after them as much as before.

"Nothing is wrong," I said reassuringly, sitting on the bed and Nikhat occupied the small sofa on the side. "Zayba suggested a job idea."

"Really? What is it?"

"Taking maths tution classes. What do you think?"

With a bit of thought Mama answered "I think that is an amazing idea. You should go for it. And it is only for about three months now. When I will get out of Iddah I would also like to take up some job. You can solely be back to studies then."

"What kind of job? But if I am teaching students I should continue to do it for the rest of the academic year."

"I haven't thought about that. And yeah, the student thing is correct. But before starting there are a lot of things to do right?"

"I will help her set it all up," Nikhat cheered making Mama smile.

"Barakallah feeki you both," She smiled proudly. "I am glad to have such a hardworking daughter and her friend who is the sweetest and so caring and also not less of a daughter for me."

Nikhat grinned at that. Mama instructed us to eat some something. We obliged and went to the kitchen where I took two plates and filled it with the pulao. The food on my plate was barely there because I was already full.

After taking our respective plates, Nikhat and I went upstairs to my room so that we can talk in privacy. We entered my slightly messy room, closing the door behind us and then sat on the beds, facing eachother.

"So what do we do about this issue?" Nikhat asked while taking her first bite of the food.

"What issue? I thought everything was going smoothly. We have to find students for the tution and then---"

"No no," She interrupted "That is not the issue I am talking about. The real issue is the boy with the stupid face and lion mane hair that has somehow decided to bully us these days."

"You mean Daniyal?" I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Took you long enough to figure it out."

"Yaar Nikk! stop thinking about him. It's a waste of time," I whined, playing with my food.

"I can't hear him calling me chipmunk anymore. We are doing our best to ignore him and that Badtameez is adamant on crossing our paths. He should be in sajdah right now, that I wasn't in the mood to fight today. Otherwise he would be having a black eye tomorrow," Nikhat talked with such burning hate for Daniyal that I couldn't help but pity him. Eventhough he doesn't deserve my sympathies.

"Don't you think you are overestimating yourself?"

"Shut up Naura! We are on the same team," Her eyes burned into me. I sheepishly looked at her and then started to have rest of my food.

"Talk about tution, please," I said somewhat sternly.

"Okay! You are teaching maths. Which class do you think?"

board exams. I have experience of teaching Zay and San. Morever it's mid-year. So most students might have already started other tutions. So it's better if we make the opportunities as wide as possible."

"Good business mind you have got," Nikhat teased eventhough she knew nothing about business. I rolled my eyes at her.

"I think we can do it in the balcony seeing as though no one enters that place. Also I am teaching maths, so practicing would be the best method to learn. So I will make lots of question papers for that," I said without a stop, exhiliration and hope running through me.

"What about the fees?" Nikhat asked.

"I think we should ask around and find out how much everyone else is willing to give. And we also need to find students. Seems like a long way."

"Long but the way to success," Nikhat winked.

Eventhough excitement flowed through my veins, I couldn't help but worry about the aftermath. Things seemed convincing and relieving at the moment.

It appeared to be okay, not perfect though.

"And did I tell you about Hamza?" Nikhat asked inbetween conversations.

"No, what happened?! Rejected or accepted?"

"Rejected obviously," She grinned "Baba facetimed me to discuss the reason I am rejecting him. After a lot of discussion he was about to say the infamous line of 'you can change him' and 'everybody smokes these days' while I shot draggers at him. Atlast with mama's persaudings Baba understood that he is not the one for me and like that Hamza is out of the picture."

"Congratulations," I joked without much humour.

"Thank you and I think Baba and mama are looking into other proposals."

"That means you will go from miss to mrs quite soon. I am excited for the wedding biryani and playing with your children who will call me Maasi."

Nikhat's mouth gaped open and she said "Slow down. You are seeing too much of the future."

We further discussed about the classes, students while sliding onto other topics as well, trying best to not talk about stupid lion mane haired boys.

After finishing the food we stood up and decided to go downstairs to wash the plates. Nikhat lead the way. While leaving the room my eyes spotted my discarded journal on the study table.

How long has it been since I've opened it? It is definitely the longest I've gone without it.

Rather than my secret love of writing, what prompted me to write it was to make my future self revive the memories and ponder over my feelings. So that in the future I would know how far I've come and how my personality has changed.

But I guess in the midst of all the chaos I forgot my confidant.

Resfebur:(n.) The tangled feeling of fear and excitement before a journey starts.

_____

Thoughts?