Lacuna

Nikhat was awake even before the sun. She stirred herself a cup of coffee while her mother and brother were asleep. She didn't want to sleep after Fajr, because an unknown exhiliration filled her veins. Somehow she felt fresh and giddy today but the reason unknown. Opening the window just in time for the sunrise, she let the flowing breeze in.

Nikhat was an ardent lover of sunrise. She always observed the way its warm hues leisurely spread into the sky and then adorned it as if it had some sort of conviction. It lit up the hope that in the end the darkness that draped will be replaced with light. Every being stand at a chance of finding happiness likewise.

The transformation of the colours in the sky during sunset was quite familiar to her. But today she knew something was different. The weather was a huge contrast to her joyful mind and glowing face. It looked dark and gloomy. The sun seemed to be offended by something that it decided to hide behind the clouds. It refused to let its bright rays light up everything because it appeared to be dejected. Nikhat felt a pang of angst fill her heart.

She smiled to the sky. The kind of smile you would give someone to make them happy. Yes, people who observes this would think Nikhat is wierd. But in her mind she felt a secret connection with the sky.

She turned around, adjusting her hair and taking the last sip of her coffee. Entering the kitchen, she placed the mug in the sink before going towards her room. Nikhat picked her phone up, realizing it needed to be charged. She connected the charger and left the phone on the drawer. Debating what to do next, she decided to recite the Quran.

Nikhat entered the living room with the Holy Quran clutched in her arms and sat down on the couch tucking one leg beneath the other. A few minutes into reciting it, she found herself indulged in the beautiful Ayahs and smiled when her mind found peace.

Some minutes later as she finished her recitation, Nikhat was placing the Quran in its shelf when she heard her mother yelling and shrieking.

It sounded like something bad has happened. Startled, she turned the corners in haste and knocked her parents' bedroom door.

"Mama are you alright?" She turned the knob to find the door open when no specific reply came to her. When the door opened tears were brimming down her mother's eyes and her hands were on her lips trying to stiffle sobs that left. Her other hand held a phone to her years hinting that some bad news was conveyed through the phone. Nikhat quickly went inside feeling worry enclosing her heart.

"What happened Mama?" She desperately asked.

Her mother Shahida said bye to the person on the other end as Nikhat prepared for whatever bad news was to come. Shahida's tears were more prominent now as she threw the phone on the bed standing up and turning to Nikhat, opening her mouth to say the reason.

Nikhat fell back onto the wall upon hearing it. She couldn't believe her ears. In that split second she convinced herself she had heard wrong. But it was too clear to be wrong. Her eyes widened as she reluctantly asked her mother to repeat the words. Hoping they would change this time.

"Yes Nikhat. Naura's father passed away."

The words didn't change. It was still the same, lingering in the air, making the atmosphere heavy.

Her hand flew to her mouth. She felt weary all of a sudden. The peace acquired a few minutes before was slowly trailing out as an almost inaudible inna lillah wa inna ilaihi rajioon (Verily we belong to God, and verily to Him do we return) left her lips.

''Whaa...How?" She coughed out with clouded vision still not digesting the information.

"Yesteday night he was near that tea stall where him , your Baba and all of the people their age hangout," Shahida explained inbetween staggered breaths "when a drunk driver apparently hit him. He was taken to the hospital but passed away about an hour ago," with a sigh she proceeded to get dressed to go to the Zayed household.

Nikhat stood there startled as the unexpected news shook her. Her mind whirled, confusion evident in them. This is not possible right? This is a sick joke right? All the thoughts entered her mind.

Naura's father passed away.

The words repeated in her mind. Tears left Nikhat's eyes as memories rushed to her mind. Her whole surroundings were in a blur. Only the shock and thoughts of her mind lingered there. Zayed uncle, the almost fatherly love he always showered on her, their family , Naura...

Ooh no.

Naura!

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This was it.

Her life would never be the same again.

She stared at the beige coloured wall ahead of her, gaze not halting. The wall is blank, like her face is, like her mind is and maybe like how her life would prolong.

She rests her head on the wall and squeezes her curled and tired body further into the corner as her hands trembled. But she couldn't break the trance her eyes held. She yearned to stop the staring but was afraid to do so because then the reality of the situation would shudder her.

What now? The questioned haunted her. Now is it the time to resolve the future or take a pause to revise the events of the past?

Time, she needed time.

Time to take a deep breath, let her emotions out and then carry the weight of what happened.

Her smoothly sailing life that included all of her dreams and cherished people had hit a huge iceberg. It seemed to sink slowly.

Slowly

Slowly

Am I the only one who can bring it to the harbour? Her mind asked.

But how can I when I am drowning in the middle of the expansive ocean?

She closed her eyes finally. The face filled with warmth flashes before her eyes. The lips that were similar to hers and the words they spoke reaches her ears. The hope those eyes held creates a tinging pain in her heart.

Would she make that affectionate soul proud?

If she could not, what excuse shall she utter?

Her senses came to a pause. It is not the time for self discouragement.

Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it had become a memory. How true this saying turned out to be.

If only I had hugged him one last time. The thought shattered her each time as she thought of their last conversation and how he left in a hurry, not knowing it is the last time.

The thing about death is that we know every soul shall taste it but the damage is scary because it is unseen, uncertain and unexpected. It can come to you any time.

She wanted to go downstairs where a lot of people and things were going on. But she couldn't. Or she wouldn't. Because it will only widen the hole in her breaking heart.

Still adempt in pinpointing where it had gone wrong her eyes stayed fixated on nothing in particular. Even when someone knocked on the bedroom room she didn't budge. But the person on the other side entered nonetheless.

Her best friend entered with tearful eyes. Nikhat would have thought it was a statue in the place of Naura as the latter didn't even spare a glance as she entered. Her breathing only gave away that she was sitting there alive but not living. Does it make sense?

Nikhat stared at her best friend as she decided her next step. Taking a deep breath and rubbing together her sweaty hand she walked towards Naura with slow footsteps. She sat beside her making sure not to cry, because she needed to be the stronger person here and comfort her friend.

"Naura," she started. Nikhat hated every part of this situation. She hated how her voice trembled, how Naura looked so fragile and pale and still not acknowledging her presence.

"Naura please.... s..say something. I..I mean you... know everything will be okay." Nikhat bit her tongue to stop saying things without thinking and cross checked her next words.

She placed her hands on Naura's shoulder reluctantly,hoping she wasn't crossing the lines.

"You can cry infront of me Naura. Please atleast look my way," She felt the need to make Naura respond.

Nikhat furrowed her eyebrows when she saw that Naura was not even sparing her a glance. She was scared to touch her because she looked too fragile almost as if a single touch could crumble her. Unknown to Nikhat, Naura had built huge barriers around her to stop from crying further, the reason being mere exhaustion.

"It was the way Allah's plans were written," Nikhat tried her best. She squeezed Naura's shoulder, again careful not to push things further.

Naura's eyes snapped towards her best friend. It trained on Nikhat's tearful ones. Then it began. The trails of tears started flowing. But in this situation, they were not tears but her memories, hope and sadness that were flowing.

The tears just increased just like how rainfall would on a stormy day. Her life has become gloomy like those dark days abruptly. She was still hoping that it will turn out to be a dream, actually a nightmare in this case.

The more she thought of it the more aggressive her sobs became. Nikath was helpless, her own mind emotional as she saw something that has never happened. She was completely unsure of what to do to bring even the tiniest bit of hault to those tears but with each sob that escaped Naura's lips, Nikath too left tears while being afraid that she won't be able to gather and fix the breaking of her best friend's heart into too tiny pieces.

Mustering all the courage she had Nikath slowly raised her arms and wrapped it around Naura, her expression conveying the question "Is this alright?" Naura all of a sudden returned the hug and cried into Nikk's shoulder mumbling incoherent words. Nikk sighed a breath of relief as Naura was being responsive.

Naura had a ton of questions swirling in her mind. Her mind became a haze of confusion, heart break and yearning memories.

"Don't lose hope Nau. Everything will be alright. Take care of yourself," Nikk mumbled everything soothingly while crying along.

And they spent hours sitting the same way. One of them with throbbing throat, crushed heart, left with nothing but memories of someone dear. And the other one ready to find the finest glue and fix her beloved friend's heart, not that its possible, and trying her best to find a way in easing her friend's turmoil.

Lacuna: (n.) a blank space; a missing part.

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Let me know what you think about this chapter :)