OKAYYYY I have a lot to say holy shit. I come back and see we have almost 40 thousand reads- that's fucking crazy! I'll keep this really short, thank you very very much for dealing with me!

Izuku

It's been about a week since everything happened between Kacchan and I. We literally threw a very unplanned birthday for asuna. Kacchan wanted to do it for her which my guilt constantly kept beating me up so I volunteered to help. No matter how much I feel guilty about it I still continue to do all these things with Kacchan.

We've...May or may not have done it six other times. Still counting.

Yes I feel bad for Asuna but...I'm selfish. I am. I'm greedy, rude, selfish, ungrateful, and many other things. I can't help it though. It's hard changing who you are as a person. I had sex someone's boyfriend- MULTIPLE times. I yelled at my pregnant mother on multiple occasions. I push everyone away who try's helping me. I look at someone and automatically decide that I hate them....Sometimes I hate me as a person too.

Sometimes I wonder if i'm only using Kacchan to satisfy me o-or if I shove everyone away just so I have an excuse to be sad.....I clench my fists under the desk. I was so mad with myself, and of course today was one of those days the 504 kids had a blend schedule with class 1-A. The teachers are starting to do this regularly.

I contemplate whether I should just get up and leave and take the stupid consequence that comes with it or stay there, I turn and stare out the window and sit through it....Wait, since when do I care? I get up slinging my bag over my shoulder and start heading out. "Midoriya-." I slammed the door on Aizawa while he was talking.

My thoughts can make me so mad, sad...irritable. I hate it. Half way back to the dorms I start break down crying right where I stand. I hate myself. I hate myself so much. Why am I the way I am as a person. Why can't I smile and have a good conversation without me ruining it with my constant back talk or constant bluntness or just without me being an asshole!

I groan at the fact i'm crying in front of people. I wipe my eyes quickly rushing to the dorms. I go in my room and scramble around with the things in my drawer finding my pills. I quickly swallow two and feel the tiredness wash over me. I take my shoes off and get in bed covering half my face with the blankets. I stare at my door in the barely lit bedroom. I close my eyes going to sleep for who knows how long.

Katsuki

"Midoriya-." He slams the door on Aizawa talking. What the hell is wrong with him? Ever since a few days ago he's been acting really weird. "Who knows midoriya best?" Aizawa said. A few people turned and looked at me. "Bakugo go check on Midoriya." I nodded getting up and leaving. My guess is he's probably at the dorms, or some park maybe?

I finally spot his green hair, I start running towards him but stop when I see him stop in the middle of walking. He starts crying which breaks my heart. I don't get why he does this. He cry's when people aren't around to see him cry...Well people he knows at least.

It hurts me knowing this because he pushes the way he feels to the side. He groans and wipes his eyes quickening his pace. I decided to just see what else he'd do.

When he got in his room I heard loud shuffling. I heard bottle pills shaking. Then it all stopped. I waited 10 more minutes until i'd go in only to see him asleep in his bed. I move the hair out of his eyes. I caress his cheek, watching him sleep is really relaxing. I swear i'm not a crazy stalker it just is...He looks at peace when he sleeps.

When he's awake he seems so bothered with everything around him, he seems bothered the most when he's thinking. I think about the times we've had sex with each other. Six times. I feel like shit for doing it right behind Asuna's back but... I love him.

I love his laugh, his smile, his jokes, his body, the noises he makes in bed. I smirk to myself and got in bed with him. I wrapped my arm around his waist pulling him closer to me. I don't know what to do...I really love this boy, and there's no one or nothing that will change that...I think... I need to talk to Asuna. For real this time.

This was a doodoo update, sorry 🤡