It hurts to much. It hurts me so bad. I've sometimes thought about suicide. It's the easy way out. Plus my mom has a daughter on the way anyway. I just don't know how much longer I can take the constant pain.

I'm getting ready to go to Nezu's office to turn in my slip that'll take me off the dorm list. It's been a week since that argument Kacchan and I were in.

I slept only the a couple hours that week. The whole week we both didn't look at each other or speak to each other. A couple people found it odd but considering what happened last time I was here they kept quiet.

When I walk out I see Asuna and Kacchan in the living room. I walk past them until Asuna yells my name. "Midoriya!" I kept walking ignoring her. She grabs my shoulder, I turn around glaring at her. "Don't touch me." She takes her hand off. "S-Sorry." I head for the front door. "Forgive me for asking but what are you doing?" I hold up the piece of paper. "Oh..."

When I get to Nezus office it was just him. Considering the fact that it was a saturday. "Ah Midoriya what can I do for you." I sit down handing him the paper. "What? How come." "...I'm just tired." He sits down being in tuned in the conversations. "Tired with what?"

"E-Everything." I wipe my eyes not wanting to cry. "Midoriya, what do you mean everything." "I mean everything! School, people... Life. I'm just tired and I want a break." Nezu's eyes soften and turn into concern and sadness. "Midoriya...That seems like a cry for help. I want you to know that whatever you need i'm here for you...but you have to let me in."

I look away and go into detail about how i've been feeling for the past few months. How i've been thinking about suicide for the past month. I've been thinking about it before I even saw Kacchan again. I was just so tired with everything. With the way I treat my mom, people who try to be nice to me, I fuck up every nice thing in my life.

I told Nezu everything thing about Kacchan and how that made me think about it even more. I grew a habit of biting my nails whenever i'd think about suicide. I was just constantly sad. As a kid and as a teenager. People constantly kept telling me to smile more or to be more happy.

If I could I would. It was just so hard for me to find joy. So when Kacchan came along it felt amazing. The feeling of being happy. I truly did love him. That's why I acted extreme when I saw him with Asuna and he told me how he had forgot about me.

It felt like the moments we had were thrown away in the trash never to be thought of again. So when I moved and met Koyo I finally found that happiness again. But it wasn't the same, than we had to leave. The happiness is still there when I get to talk to Koyo. But it's not the same as when i'm with Kacchan. It feels like it's just me and him, it feels like fireworks are going off, it feels like the best thing in the world. I know it sounds cheesy but it's true.

By the end of our conversation Nezu came to the conclusion that I was suffering with depression and never got treated for it. He called my mom in and she was a sobbing mess. She thought it was just how teenagers acted. We arranged a doctors appointment for me.

My mom kept thanking Nezu over and over again. When we were about to leave Nezu called my name. "I want to thank you for trusting me and letting me in. I know it must've been hard for you." He gave me back the paper. "Please, think about this over again." I gave him a true genuine smile and thanked him. I'm forever great full for Nezu. From the begging he stuck by his word and was there for me.

x-x-x

The day of the doctors appointment was today. They wanted to make a appointment immediately. We arrived at the doctors and we got checked in. The doctors ran tests on me and asked me so much questions.

My mom held my hand on the brink of tears. "Your son has been diagnosed with major depression. He's been untreated for more than 12 years. I'll give you these medicine but it will make you feel more sad and tired for a couple of days because your getting use to them. I do have to warn this medication will stimulate your sex drive. Mrs.Midoriya I advise you for the first few days to not let him out of your sight. His emotions will be everywhere so please...Have patients with him."

My mom aggressively nodded while crying. This was a lot to take in. My mom called Nezu and told him what happened. They decided that i'd stay home for a week.

Katsuki

Aizawa and Nezu called us all into the living room for something urgent. I couldn't find Izuku so my heart was already on 10. "We-Your fellow classmate Izuku Midoriya is going through I lot right now...He came and talked to me about a few things later to find out he was mentioning suicide. His mother and I came to the conclusion that he has depression. Our conclusion was true. He'll be at home for a week. When he comes back please, act normal and don't bombard him with things. Thank you students."

Aizawa and Nezu bowed to us. We were left there shocked. Especially me. I felt people's gaze on me. Suicide? I couldn't think. My heart aches so bad. If he didn't talk to Nezu would....Would it have been to late?

this update is about help. i want each and every one of you guys to know it's okay to reach out and ask for help. i promise you no one will push you away. if your having thought about suicide please, please reach out. my inbox is always open. don't be afraid to get help. there are loved ones and people who would help you and be there for you in a heart beat. ❤️❤️❤️