I stayed in my room all day. I didn't need to go out for food because my mom cooked me Katsudon and I barley get hungry often anyway.

I was watching netmix on my laptop for the 6th hour today. I bet everyone thinks i'm dead...i'll come out tomorrow if I feel like it. I've been doing a lot of things to distract myself from thinking about Kacchan. I just can't help it though.

I counted how many times his door opened. 23 times. I don't really actually know if it's his girlfriend's dorm or Kacchans. All I know is that it's one of theirs. I know I sound like a crazy ex but it's not that I just-...I don't know I just miss him.

I have to reason with him some day, I know he wants to talk and me shutting him out all the time is only making it worse. I'll... Ill talk to him sometime this week... Maybe. I check my clock and see it 3 in the fucking morning! Last time I checked it was only 10 pm! My body is going to hate me tomorrow. I shut my laptop off and start going to bed.

Today I didn't wake up to loud banging...But instead arguing out in the hall. I get mad at swing the door open. "Can't I get one peaceful morning!?" I look and see Asuna and Kacchan arguing.

They stopped and looked at me. Kacchan averted his eyes. "You guys have a room, argue in there!" Kacchan told Asuna to go back into the room but she wouldn't. Instead she turned to me looking pissed. "Is it true!?"

"Your gonna have to fill me in on what the fuck your talking about." I say tiredly, it's to early for this! Why are they even arguing at 8 in the morning!?

"You and Katsuki dated." She stared me straight in the eyes. I turned to Kacchan and he stood there not saying anything. I look back at Asuna. "Nope...It's not true." Kacchan looked up at me. "Can you both shut the hell up now?"

Asuna seemed satisfied and nodded. Are all girls like this? Right when I was about to peacefully lay my head down someone knocked on the door. I fake cried to myself being over dramatic. I turned around screaming in the pillow.

I regret ever agreeing to moving into these stupid dorms. I open the door only to have Kacchan walk his way through. "What are you doing." He sat down on the bed facing me. "Talk to me."

"I just did. Now can you leave." I held the door open. He sat there staring at me. I sighed closing the door. "We can talk once I finally get some sleep in these stupid dorms." I lay down covering the blankets over me. I feel him stare at me which I don't like. "Can you stop staring at me. It's rude and impolite." I snicker at the small meaningless joke.

He doesn't say anything and conteuis to stare at me. You stubborn fuck. "Fine! We can talk now!" I sit up facing him with a tired glare. "What do you want to talk about."

Katsuki

I wanted to ask him so many things. But I knew he didn't like questions being asked about him. My mind was at 100. I had so many questions but so little time. "How...How have you been?" "Fine." There he goes again. Being short answered.

I sigh knowing I won't get anything out of him. "I'm sorry." This is like the 600th time i've apologized. I just can't deal with the regret, pain, and guilt i'm feeling. "Okay." "Why can't you just talk to me!" I start raising my voice.

"Because it hurt me when you said you forgot about me. It hurt me seeing Asuna with you, and I lie and say it's okay when really it hurts. There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think about you or what we would be doing if I didn't leave...Every decision i'd have to make id think what would you do. Just the thought of you was my motivation. I didn't need anyone else....It was you. So when you said you forgot about me it felt like a big 'fuck you' in my face."

I stare wide eyed at him. Tears were rolling down his face uncontrollably. I didn't think...I didn't think it would have such a big impact on him. He looked mad, broken, and vulnerable. The feelings he hated feeling. I did the most unthinkable thing. I leaned in kissing him. I wanted to savor the kiss forever. It felt so foreign. So sweet. I wanted it to last for ever.

I missed this feeling, the feeling i'd have when i'm around him. The smile only I got to see. The laughs only I got to hear.

He pushed me back and stood up crying even more and look even more pissed. "No, you don't get to do that to me!" I stood up "Izu-." "But it's my fault, it's my fault for falling for you again and again only to see that you were never going to choose me, you have a girlfriend! I've stayed up for hours on end thinking about you and wondering if you were okay! I hate you! I hate you so much! I.HATE.YOU!"

With each word he shoved me harder and harder. All I could do was regret everything and watch him break. He clutched onto my shirt burying his face into my shirt. "I-I hate you so much." He sobbed. I let him cry. I couldn't do anything or say anything knowing it would upset him more.

"J-Just leave." He let go of my shirt. I felt horrible. Leaving him in such a vulnerable state. But I knew I had no choice. When I closed the door I heard a muffled yell and something crash hardly down on the floor.

Oh my Izu, how much I want to hold you and tell you everything's okay. You shut me out every time though. You shut out everyone who try's to help you. Sometimes I don't get you, but what I do get is what whatever happens in the future I will always love you and hold you dear to my heart.

i'm thinking about ending it here.....pshh nahhhh it's still gon continue 😎