Rarity could merely pick at her meal. Once more, she was sitting with Magnum, Pearl, and her sister, Sweetie Belle, at the dinner table. All of her thoughts raced through her mind so quickly that Rarity could barely even keep track of them. Finally, Rarity resorted to her usual method of cutting up the pieces of her food and moving them around, so it looked as if she was eating. However, the downside to this was that her family knew of this trick now.

   "Rarity, dear, please eat," Pearl said. "We're saying that because we care about you."

   Rarity frowned. "I know, Mother. But... I don't know if I can."

   Magnum and Pearl exchanged a glance of hopelessness and Sweetie Belle glanced down at her own food, sadly. It was almost as if Sweetie Belle suddenly felt guilty for eating in front of Rarity.

   Dinner pressed forward and the voices continued. 'Don't eat! The Fall Formal is tonight!', they cried. 'You need to look good for Applejack. She won't want to date someone who can't fit into a dress.'

   Rarity had wanted to lose even more weight in time for the Fall Formal, but she wasn't satisfied with her results. If she ate tonight, she knew she'd feel guilty about it and her date with Applejack would be ruined- or so she told herself.

   Finally, after the family finished dinner, Rarity excused herself and dumped her dinner into the trash can. She hoped to feel guilty about not eating this time around, but she felt the familiar rush of relief as she dumped the food into the trash can. Rarity sighed hopelessly. It seemed that she was getting worse instead of better.

                                                                                                ***

   Pearl had offered to drop Rarity off at the Fall Formal, so Rarity was sitting in the passenger seat of her mother's car in her bright, shiny blue dress. Rarity rested her head against the window. Once again, she hadn't eaten in awhile and she was feeling dizzy and nauseous.

  "Are you okay, Rarity?" Pearl asked. "I think Applejack will understand if you give her a call and tell her you can't make it-"

   "No, no, I'm fine!" Rarity exclaimed immediately. "I want to be there, Mom. Just... I'm alright. Don't worry."

   Pearl looked unconvinced as she continued the drive. "Alright..."

   Finally, Pearl and Rarity approached the front of Canterlot High School. Rarity could see other couples walking inside through the front doors and she started to become nervous.

   "Well, have a fun time with your friends tonight," Pearl told her. "Take pictures!"

   "I will," Rarity promised with a giggle. She climbed out of the car and waved to her mother as she drove away.

    Rarity turned to face the front of the school and a smile crept across her face when she saw her friends waving to her. She walked over to them. She was delighted to see that they were wearing the dresses she made for them before the dance.

   Sunset Shimmer was standing beside Flash Sentry. Twilight and Pinkie Pie's arms were linked together, but Pinkie Pie could barely hold back her excitement and accidentally moved Twilight back and forth slightly. Fluttershy stood nervously beside Rainbow Dash, too afraid to show her affection since she knew Rainbow Dash was reluctant to participate in intimacy. Applejack smiled and blushed as she saw Rarity approaching them. When Rarity reached them, she linked arms with Applejack, so they could walk in together.

    "Hey, Rarity!" Pinkie Pie squealed in excitement. "Are you ready for a night of fun?!"

   Rarity nodded and giggled. "Most definitely."

   "Then what are we waiting for?!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed. "Let's party!"

   The others cheered and whooped as they began to go inside of the school.

   Once they got inside of the gym, they were delighted to see it had been decked out for the Fall Formal. There were banners and streamers hung all over the gym, there was a food table with treats that students had brought in, and loud, upbeat music was ringing throughout the room.

   "Now this is a party!" Pinkie Pie commented.

   Her friends laughed.

   "Come on," Applejack beckoned to them. "Why don't we all have a dance together?"

   Rarity felt so free as she cut loose with her friends. The music was upbeat. The shrieks and laughter of Rarity and her friends made her forget about her worries.

   Rarity was so carefree as she danced among her closest friends right next to Applejack. She could almost forget about the nausea in her stomach and the dizziness in her head. Almost. She was snapped out of her euphoria when she felt a sudden tug on her arm. "Rarity!"

  Applejack was tugging Rarity's arm to grab her attention. Rarity looked around and realized she had accidentally bumped into each of her friends while dancing. Blushing in embarrassment, Rarity uttered, "I'm sorry, girls. I don't know what came over me."

   "Are you feeling alright?" Sunset asked in concern. "You look a little... dizzy."

    "I'm feeling just fine!" Rarity exclaimed quickly. "I'm having a lot of fun, I swear. I-"

   The lights appeared to dim a little and slower, romantic music began to play. The girls watched as the couples in the gym began to dance slowly in each other's arms and groups of friends crowd the food table.

   "Ooh, a slow dance," Pinkie Pie said. "Come on, Twilight!"

   Twilight took Pinkie Pie's hand as she led her out to the middle of the floor.

    "W-would you like to dance, Rainbow?" Fluttershy asked, nervously.

   "Eh... it sure does look slow," Rainbow Dash replied. "Where's the fun in that?"

   Fluttershy hung her head sadly. "Oh. Well, I mean... if you don't think you can do it-"

   "Hang on," Rainbow Dash cut in. She smirked. "What did ya say? You think I can't do it?"

   Fluttershy blushed and stammered, "W-well, I mean... you did say-"

   Rainbow Dash chuckled and grabbed Fluttershy's hand. "Come on, Flutters. I'm going to show you that Rainbow Dash can do anything."

   Fluttershy smiled as Rainbow Dash led her out to the dancefloor. Sunset Shimmer, Flash, Applejack, and Rarity watched them with a smile.

   Sunset Shimmer winked at Rarity and Applejack. "Have fun, you two. Flash and I are going to grab some snacks."

   "Yeah, my Mom made fudge and she makes the best," Flash added.

   "Alright then!" Applejack said. "See ya after the dance!"

   Rarity watched as Sunset Shimmer and Flash chatted, making their way over to the food table. It was clear that the two of them could only see themselves as friends, but they enjoyed each other's company anyway.

   "Rarity," Applejack spoke.

   Rarity jumped a little at the sudden sound of Applejack's voice and whirled around to face her. "Yes?"

   Applejack held her hand out for Rarity's. "Come on, Rare. Let's have a dance. Ah want to talk to ya a bit."

   Rarity swallowed nervously, but took Applejack's hand and allowed her to lead her out onto the dancefloor.

   Applejack smiled at Rarity as she gently set her hand upon Rarity's waist and held her hand. Rarity set her hand upon Applejack's shoulder and gazed into her eyes as they slowly began to twirl.

   For a few moments, Rarity was able to enjoy the bliss of dancing with Applejack as they smiled at each other. Rarity and Applejack were able to get lost in each other's eyes and feel like they were they only people in the room.

   Finally, Applejack seemed to remember something and her smile gradually faded into a frown. This snapped Rarity out of her trance. "What's wrong?" she asked.

   Applejack sighed. "Ah want to talk to you for a moment."

   Rarity felt her heart begin to beat faster. "About?"

   The couple continued to spin slowly on the floor as Applejack began to speak to Rarity what was bothering her, "Sugarcube..."

   Applejack usually called most of her close friends and family this nickname, but it felt different to Rarity now that she knew Applejack's feelings towards her. A warm blush crept across her face. "Yes, Applejack?"

   "Rare... did ya eat anything today?" Applejack questioned, gently. "When you were dancing with all of us, you... you seemed to get real dizzy and you bumped into every one of us."

   Rarity felt her stomach twist into knots and her heart ached with guilt. "No, Applejack. I didn't. Not today."

   Applejack sighed. "Do you wanna get something from the food table after-?"

   "No," Rarity replied, her eyes filling with tears. She restrained them desperately as she forgot to wear her waterproof mascara and she didn't want to ruin her makeup. "No, I don't want anything. I... I can't, Applejack. I'm sorry. I can't let any of you down."

   "You won't be letting us down," Applejack comforted. "In fact, every time you eat, you make us the most relieved we can ever remember being. But... don't worry. Ah understand."

   Rarity sighed and failed to hold back any longer. Rarity began to cry silently as a steady stream of tears poured down her face.

   It was a bit difficult to see in the dark, but Applejack eventually made out the streaks of ruined mascara covering Rarity's face. Applejack's instinct took over and she pulled Rarity into an embrace. Rarity whimpered softly as she continued to cry into Applejack's chest.

   Applejack felt her dress getting wet with tears and covered in streaks of black mascara, but she didn't care. Rarity felt like she was broken and that no one could fix her. Applejack knew that eating disorders couldn't be defeated so easily and that Rarity was struggling with a relapse. Applejack continued to hold her close. She felt as if Rarity was slowly slipping from her fingers and there was nothing she could do. Tears of her own began to gather in her eyes, but she was too in shock to let them fall.

   Applejack remembered when her cousin, Apple Bumpkin, had struggled with an eating disorder. The entire family never understood when she refused to eat at reunions and hid in the bathroom to escape the family's harsh words of disappointment. However, slowly, the Apples had worked to understand more about eating disorders and now Applejack knew that what Rarity was battling wasn't just about feeling lesser than. It was more of a large demon that had taken place in Rarity's mind and one that Rarity couldn't fight off on her own.

   "It's gonna be okay, Rare," Applejack told her. "Take a few deep breaths."

   Rarity lifted her head from Applejack's chest and took a few raggedy breaths. She saw a few streaks of her mascara on Applejack's dress. "Sorry," she muttered.

   "Don't worry, sugarcube," Applejack assured her. "Ah know it's hard, but you're going to make it through this. You are strong. You are beautiful. And you are definitely not overweight."

   Rarity felt her face grow warm once more. 'Lies,' the voices in her head told her. 'Applejack doesn't think this about you. She just knows that your friends need the Element of Generosity to defeat threats against Canterlot High.'

   Rarity tried to combat the voices with a bit of positive thinking. Applejack wouldn't have asked me out if she didn't see something in me, right?

   The voices merely came back stronger. 'She asked you out because she pities you. She-'

   The voices in Rarity's head had no more time to talk. Rarity's nausea began to become overwhelming and Rarity retched, covering her mouth with her hand.

   Applejack's eyes widened with alarm. "Rarity? Rarity, are you alrigh-?"

   Rarity pulled herself out of Applejack's arms and began to run out of the gym as fast as she could. She wanted to make it to the bathroom.

    "Rarity!" Applejack exclaimed in worry.

    Students watched as Applejack quickly ran out of the gym after her date. This grabbed the attention of Sunset Shimmer, Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash. They all rushed after their friends nervously. Flash seemed to understand it was a matter where only the other girls were needed and hung back by the food table with a sigh.

   Finally, Rarity made it to the bathroom and ran inside one of the stalls. She didn't even bother locking the stall behind her first and leaned over the toilet. Applejack knew what was going on immediately and knelt down behind her to hold her hair behind her back. Rarity's makeup was already ruined. She didn't want Rarity to be upset about her hair.

   Rarity cried loudly in between her fits of regurgitation. Applejack continued to hold her hair behind her back. Since Rarity hadn't eaten anything all day, there was nothing for her to regurgitate and she was retching up acids from her stomach.

   After Rarity was finished, she was breathing hard and still sobbing. Her hair was frazzled and had turned into a tangled mess. Her cheeks were covered in streaks from her ruined mascara. Her dress was wrinkled and slightly torn on the hems. She looked as if she had barely escaped a bear attack.

   Rarity flung herself back into Applejack's embrace as she continued to sob profusely. Applejack held Rarity and stroked her head gently. Applejack's tears had even started to flow.

   Sunset Shimmer, Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash caught up with them and followed them into the stall.

   "Goodness, what happened?" Fluttershy wondered.

   "Rarity had to... puke," Applejack said after hesitation.

    The others hung their heads sadly and went over to comfort Rarity.

   Sunset Shimmer placed a comforting hand upon Rarity's back. "Are you okay, Rarity?"

   Rarity could only shake her head.

   "We're so sorry this happened," Twilight said.

   Applejack ran a comforting hand up and down Rarity's back. "Come on, Rare. Let me take ya home."

   Rarity looked up into Applejack's eyes, pleadingly. "No! I want to stay with you girls! I wanted a fun night! I-!"

   "Rarity," Applejack spoke, softly.

   Rarity silenced herself at once and looked into Applejack's shining emerald eyes. Applejack sighed sadly, "Ya can't go on like this."

   Giving in, Rarity nodded.

   Applejack helped Rarity to her feet and looked at the others sorrowfully. "Ah'm going to drive her home. Ya'll have a fun rest of the night."

   "I-I don't think we could possibly have any fun knowing that Rarity is struggling like this," Pinkie Pie claimed.

    "We're going to return home for the night too," Sunset Shimmer said.

   Rarity was horrified. She shook her head. "No, no, please don't. I don't want to be the reason your night was ruined."

   "You didn't ruin our night, Rarity," Fluttershy comforted. "We just want to make sure you're okay."

   "I-" Rarity began. She stopped herself and sighed. Clearly, there was no arguing here. She felt sick and she needed to go home. Her friends were right. 

   Applejack took Rarity's hand. "Come on, let's go."

   Rarity sighed and spoke softly in embarrassment, "Bye, girls."

   "Bye, Rarity," the others said. 

   Rarity sadly followed Applejack out of the bathroom, once more trying to restrain tears. The Fall Formal was ruined and it was all her fault.

                                                                                                 ***

   Applejack's red Cadillac pulled up in front of Rarity's house. She turned to see a miserable Rarity with her face in her knees. 

   "Um, Rarity," Applejack said. "We're here."

   Rarity looked up to see her house in view and unbuckled her seatbelt. After opening her door, she climbed out of the car and looked back at Applejack. "Thanks for asking me, Applejack."

   "Of course," Applejack replied. "Ah... ah had a fun time with ya."

   Rarity couldn't bring herself to reply. She just sighed, waved goodbye, and closed the door. She slowly began to walk to the front door of her house.

   Applejack watched her from inside of the car to make sure Rarity got inside safely. When Rarity put her hand upon the doorknob, she turned to look back at Applejack and wave one last time. Applejack returned her wave, sadly and watched as Rarity went back inside of her house. 

   Applejack felt tears well up in her eyes again. "Dagnabit... how many tears does this night need to have?" 

   With her heart aching, Applejack shifted her car into 'Drive' and began to drive home. 

                                                                                                ***

    The rest of her family was already asleep when Rarity arrived. Rarity looked over at the clock in the kitchen to check the time. '11:55'. That meant she didn't even make it to midnight. 

   Feeling even worse, Rarity quietly made her way up the stairs and into her bedroom.

   Rarity slowly went over to her vanity and looked in the mirror. All she saw was a fat, worthless girl who couldn't even make it through a night with her closest friends and the one she possibly liked as more than a friend. Rarity dipped a cotton ball into her makeup removing solution and began to scrub the mascara from her eyes, her signature blue eye shadow from her eyelids, her rosy, red blush, and her bright red lip gloss. 

   After finishing, Rarity removed her worn out dress and got into her favorite nightgown. She noticed that it felt looser on her than the last time she wore it and realized her weight was still declining. Rarity felt a small rush of relief at that notion. 

   After brushing her teeth, Rarity turned off her lights and climbed into her bed. Rarity knew that in the darkness, all of her darkest thoughts came racing into her mind. However, tonight, she could only think of the Fall Formal. The way she had ruined it for all of her friends- especially Applejack. 

   Rarity held tight to her fluffy, pink heart-shaped pillow as she thought of Applejack. She couldn't believe that Applejack would be okay with leaving the Fall Formal just because she didn't feel well. She couldn't believe that Applejack had asked her to the Fall Formal. 

   Rarity held her pillow closer. She had ruined everything, not just for Applejack, but for everyone.

   I don't deserve Applejack, Rarity thought to herself. She burst into tears, sobbing profusely until she drifted off into an uneasy slumber.