Few days of accepting fate, I noticed that things aren't as usual. Mother was emotional most of the time, Mr Reeves would yell always (I mean, he always yell unnecessarily but this time it just got worse) and my siblings were really not comfortable for unforseen reasons.
I on the other hand was neutral about everything.

Doris, my mum's mum which is technically my grandma managed to keep things manageable for the period she was around to look after Zora, my little sister but after two months, went back to stay with her husband.

Lord knows I love her so much. I can't imagine any grandparent like that from my mum's side. I never met Mr Reeves father and his mother is an illiterate. Besides, even if I decide to form a relationship, it won't work because of the distance and I hardly travel to my hometown.

   We needed someone to babysit Zora and the best bet was Mr Reeves aunt, whom we call Puff. She is so short and very round(Hence the name, Puff) probably old enough to be my grandmother, though she's my grandaunt.

Zora was against the whole babysitting thing, insisting that she's a "big" girl, I only laughed at the situation.

Anyway, Puff has major temper issues. It's like she's on her period everyday. That's why when she came, I avoided her like a disease. Until one day, I had no clue what Robert had done this time, but he rushed into my room, with blood gushing out of his head, crying to me.

I immediately turned pale and nearly threw up because I hate the sight of blood.

"What in the world of cheesecake happened to your head?"
I asked in utter disbelief as I dragged him to the first aid cabinet to get him cleaned up

"Haven't I told you to stop jumping over the fence? I know you're growing and exploring your strengths and weaknesses but you have to be careful. Extra careful"
I sternly scold him while he sobs.

I know who Mother is going to blame for all this. Not Puff but me!

"I wasn't jumping over the fence this time Ni, I promise" Robert says with a very truthful stare.

"Oh God. Did you fall off the swing then? You and Zora always..."

"It was Puff"
He mutters cutting me short. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to react. I just uttered the first thing that came to my mind...

"What?"

He knows I heard him and doesn't bother repeating himself.

"What did she do to you?"
I whisper in disbelief.

"Well... Um... She just finished laying the bed and I was jumping on it and she got angry and used the cup on the table to hit me on the head",
He sobs harder.

Dear God!

Mother and Mr Reeves weren't at home and being the first child I had to take the matter into my hands.
I know I always quarrel with my siblings and get into argument with them but that doesn't mean somebody will hurt them and I won't do anything.

I apply the bandage to his head and drag him with me to meet Puff on the front porch. I begin to yell at her,

“What is your problem? Are you a child? Just who do you think you are? Aren't you supposed to correct his mistakes like a mother would? What if the cut is deeper than this? Would you be the one to take on the headache of taking him to the hospital?”.

I rant on and on, now blinded with not only rage, but also tears.
I hate it when I start crying while I'm angry.

To my dismay she starts crying. I  suddenly felt guilty and my manner kicks in. "I am sorry ma'am I didn't mean to vent out my anger at you".

Why am I so soft?

She smiles. She motions for me to sit with her. She apologizes to Robert and dismisses him.

"Now dear, before I say anything, you're just ten years old and how come you know how to use words".

Is this woman kidding me? I am 17 years old. I've helped my school win multiple awards and I've even won the smartest kid award so many times in a row.
I mean,  I know I am going to be a Valedictorian if mother had not withdrawn me from highschool and put me into college.

Moreover the highschool mother put me in isn't like any other private highschool I've seen and trust me I've seen a lot of highschools. In this highschool, when you fail a session, you repeat that session and your mates becomes your senior, your juniors become your mates.

It was literally survival of the smartest. I had no trouble coping at all since I have a photographic brain.

But, I didn't tell her this, she might be trying to win my heart over that's if I still have one left. I mean I do have a heart but I rarely use it. I'm more of the practical type, I use my head to think all the time.

Taking my silence as a go ahead, she says,

"I want to tell you a story about you" I keep mute.

"When Mrs Reeves, your mother was pregnant for you, she hadn't married your dad, but when she discovered that she was pregnant, she told him and he suggested..." She paused looking round making sure no one is eavesdropping ...

"ABORTION"
... She hissed the word out.

I recoil into my shell and my jaw nearly dropped to the floor.

Was this information necessary? Is this her story to tell? Is it any of her business? What is she trying to insinuate?

"Few days after your sister's birth, your mum was forcefully resigned".

But why? I wonder. Sensing my train of thoughts, she starts explaining but my mind doesn't want to accept it.

"Why'd you tell me". I cut her short from explaining.

"Just so you know because I know they don't plan on telling you soon". She pauses, then continues.

"Your mum isn't the problem, because after your father said that, she just said she'd take care of you with or without him till her last breath, with every penny in her pocket. And that if she has to sell her soul to the devil just so you get the best, she would".

Is my father not supposed to be her nephew? Why is she ratting him out?  Did mother send her to me?

I shake my head at the last part. If I know my mother, my mother hates showing her pain and I'm sure she'd never want me to find out this side about Mr Reeves.

My head starts spinning. I look up and see her glancing at me uncertain of how to comfort me. I should probably remove this woman from my head.
She's trying to get to me but I won't let that happen.

"Your father does nothing for this family other than sit around and enjoy your mother's hard labor. He has potentials but he's too lazy to work with it. I know he's my nephew but he's so stubborn. He never listens to anyone, never takes advice from anyone. One thing you should know my dear, your father is very manipulative and has the ability to emotionally fool you"

"STOP! Just stop okay. This is none of your business. You're nothing but an extended family. You have no right to say bullshit about my dad"

I scream at her, hoping the tears won't fall now.

"If that's what you want to believe, so be it."
She murmurs and gives me a stare. A stare that I know all too well. She is a lying.

"I... Why..."

Not forming coherent words, I wave my hand and she leaves. I sit there for a long time just staring into space. Trying not to think of anything. Just admiring the sky and when it turns dark, I walk back inside,  I  crawl back to my bed, facing the ceiling and start thinking back...

Is this the reason why I'm being treated like an outcast in my own home? Because I'm born out of wedlock? Why I am being blamed for every damn mistake? Why
mother wouldn't listen to me everytime? Does she feel like I am a burden? That I came at the wrong time? What's Mr Reeves doing? Nothing! No job, is he even a graduate.

Is this why I see hate each time Mr Reeves looks at me? Is this why I've never been able to call him dad or father? Because he never performs his duties? I thought I was being rebellious by calling him Mr Reeves but now I think of it... I have never called him father!

So,  if mum wasn't so strong willed, then I wouldn't have been in existence. Oh mum! I love you. I'll pray for you as long as I live. My hand unconsciously moves to my face and the warm tears flows freely. I don't try to stop it. Instead, I curse and blame myself for allowing Mr Reeves to affect me like this.

Mum had so often said in the past, don't ever cry over spilt milk but this is worse than spilt milk because milk definitely has taste, I can't use water because water is life, I can't even use any liquid because, they have their own value.

Mr Reeves is Valueless to me!

Now I see why I can't bring myself to call him father, just the mere thought of calling him "dad" chokes the living daylight out of me. He has, is and always will be MR REEVES...

I don't know how long I had been crying but it seemed a long time because, I heard mother enter and checked my bedtime clock 11:57pm, and listen to the conversation between mum and dad...yuck... I meant Mr Reeves.

"How was the search" Mr Reeves ask entering a bit earlier than mum. But wait... Did he just say search... That means... Oh no no no, if only Zora hadn't been born... Oh shoot. I shouldn't think like that.

"I just wanna rest" mum replies obviously agitated
"I just asked a simple questi..."
"Just let me be"
Ooh! Feisty. Take that. But please don't quarrel yet I want to sleep.

My prayers not answered and as I listen to them fight. I go back to thinking...

Is this the reason why I was pulled out of pristine highschool and put in college? Not enough funds? No way! It can't be. Besides, the highschool I attend is the best in the estate and probably the most expensive.

And I'm not just saying this because I'm attending the school, but because of their qualified and amplified teachers. It is the first school in the state to own a radio station.

But the problem I think they have is that they are operating the school on family basis. The owner of the school is the proprietor, that I can understand, the principal is the proprietor's younger brother, the bursar is the proprietor's wife.

Our motto is: “experience the innovation”. Thanks to the school, I've been to places during excursion. I can't fully give the accolades of this school. The school has won so many awards and been given reviews by recognized individuals in the state.

In less than two weeks, I leave for college to start a new life.

My eyes are closing in on me and mum is now crying in her room with Mr Reeves pacifying her just like every night but this night, I truly know why.

With that last thought, my eyes close in on me as I fall in my own familiar abyss...