I woke up to a girl crying or rather the cries of a little girl woke me up. Why can't I just wake up to something normal? The dreams, not again. Ah shit!

"It's okay Zora everything's gonna be alright" I suddenly hear Zoe tell Zora. It seems that they are both crying. But I think Zoe's crying because Zora is.

Huh? Why would they be crying early this morning?. I cast a glance at Bob and it says 7:08am. I'm about to  go check up on them but Zora's next words shock me.

"How can you tell  me everything's okay, it'd have been better if I was never born. I wish she'd just die, then at least I know I don't have a sister".

"No, no don't say that, at least you have other siblings whereas I've  got none"

"Chris and Robert are guys, they wouldn't know all those girly stuff. I'd do anything to have a sister who loves me. She only cares for me but she doesn't love me"

"How'd you know what love is"?

"I don't".

"Then stop acting like a child, at least you've got a sister and I've got none. I'd do anything to have one even though she won't give me the appropriate attention"

"Why are you taking her side"?

"I'm not, I just want you to know that half a loaf of bread is better than nothing at all".

I peep through the double bunk just the be sure that it's Zoe, a 10 year old, who is saying all these grown-ish stuff.

  What on mother fucking earth just happened? My sister, one of the three reasons I haven't committed suicide hates me. The realization hits me like a train.

If she doesn't want me, then mother wouldn't and at this point I don't give a fucking damn fuck if I go to hell. Fuck religion. I'm swearing too much. I guess I am sad right now, that means my eyes are sea blue.

Anita, this would be a perfect time to start crying. My hand moves to my chest and I feel the lump. Oh wonderful tears, please fall, oh please do. I wait patiently for it to fall but nothing. I try blinking but still...nothing. I can't live anymore. My life isn't worth living for.

I have to die and end all this as soon as possible.

I climb down the bed as fast as possible. I stare in the mirror and my eyes holds no emotions. I look stone hearted. I turn to look at Zora and Zoe. It'd be best to play cool.

"Morning Zora the explorer and Zoe the first" I squirm using their nicknames.
"Good morning Anita". They chorus and look at each other.

"Did you have a bad dream?" Zora asks.

"Oh no pumpkin, I'm just excited and you wanna know why?"

"Yesss" they chorus again dragging the 's' in 'yes'

"Today, I'm gonna make you some apple pie and we're gonna have a picnic at the beach, who's up for it?"
"Me, me, me, me!!"
"Yuck, what's that smell. You girls won't come if you're smelling like you slept in the sewer"
They didn't need a tooth sayer to interpret for them as they dash to the bathroom.

At least I've gotta give them a good last experience with me while I can.

"Oh common Anita please, I wanna listen to 'scars to you beautiful by Alessia Cara"

It's been over 30mins since we left the house and Zora has been bothering me. Zoe is just giggling at everything.

"Fine". I say before switching the car's radio to 'my music'

I'm sure you're wondering how I can drive. Well when I turned 19 my mum's sister got me a car. She thought I turned 18. To cut long story short, I did the paper work and puff, I got my licence. Just know that nobody taught me  how to drive.

I nod my head to the rhythm of the song as Zora and Zoe does a karaoke at the back seat. I love this song. It kinda tells my story

She just wants to be beautiful, she goes unnoticed, she knows no limit, she craves attention, she praises an image, she praise to be sculpted by the sculptor. Oh she don't see the light is shining, deeper than the eyes can find it. Maybe we may have made her blind, so she tries to cover up the pain and cut her woes away, coz cover girls don't cry after their face is made.
But, there's a hope just waiting for you in the dark, you should know you're beautiful just the way you are and you don't have to change a thing the world can change it hearts, no scars to your beautiful...

"I love this song, now put that midnight sun song. That er... Burn..er no...that er...I have walked alone" she squeals as she struggles to remember the name.

"But this one isn't finished yet"

"Stop being stubborn now" she whines
"You're one to talk" I say smiling at the same time shaking my head as I put the requested song.

I actually love this song because it also relates to me. Most of the songs I listen to are in one way or the other connected to me.

I wish I  can stand on the stars. I wish I can be where you are. They say don't you ever give up. It's so hard to be something when you're not, but I have walked alone, with the stars in the moonlit night, I have walked alone, no one by my side. Now I walk with you, with my head held high, in the darkest sky, I feel so alive.

I remember when I first heard this song. It was in a movie titled 'midnight sun'. I watched the movie with Zora, Zoe and the boys by the end of it all they were all an emotional wreck.

I mean if I was a normal teen, I'd have probably cried my hearts out. Left to me the girl got what she deserved. I just don't know why the main characters in a film or book never listens. They're just too stubborn.

"We're here" I announce on our arrival. They squeal and squirm with joy. I help them out of the car. And as they ran off to do what little children loves to do at the beach, which is building sand castles, I prepare the spot for our picnic. I better make this worthwhile so she'll remember me when I am gone.

"Hey there pretty one!"
I look up to see the owner of such masculine voice. What is wrong with my life? When did all the attractive guys start pestering me.

"Uh, when someone says hello, you're to respond back". He says giving me a small smile that had me melting on my insides.

Now for once Anita, don't be rude, sassy or saucy. Just act cool and nice.

"Uh... Maybe the reason why the person won't respond is because she didn't ask for their greeting"

Oh darn it! So much for being nice huh. I internally scowl at myself.
"Um...excuse me Mr but I didn't mean to be rude just go away, you do not want to know me..... Trust me you don't". I say.

"But you're just so pretty", he muses. I roll my eyes beneath my shades.

"That's a fact that doesn't need to be repeated", I reply with sass.

"You're supposed to say thank you", he smiles charmingly.

"For what? I should say thank you? Because you pointed out a fact that I'm pretty? Are you high or something? Please just steer clear if you love your face or I might be forced to rearrange it for you if I'm angered"

From the looks on his face, I can tell he is disappointed. Uh... Duh...why wouldn't he? I think, mentally face palming as I watch his retreating figure until he is no longer in sight.

"Anita, Anita look, look" Zora says running towards me with Zoe hot in her heels. I'm about to look at her then she yells

"No don't look, close your eyes"
I chuckle lightly. Didn't she just say I should look?

"Why?"
"Oh come on already!"
"Okay, fine" I reluctantly comply.
"Stretch forth your palm, good".

Then she places something in my hand. The felling is so rough and I can still feel the sand on its body. What is this?

"You can open your eyes now". I open my eyes and the first thing I see is Zora looking at her feet, avoiding eye contact with me and then, I see Zoe doing some more sand castles. I look at my enclosed fist.

"Open up", Zora squeals at my hesitation. Oh this better be good.

  I slowly but surely open my hands and I nearly choked on my own saliva. I look at Zora and she was grinning from ear to ear
"That's for being the best sister in the world, promise  me you won't leave me?"

I hate hugs so I can't just pull her into one. So, I just pat her on her head.
"Thank you Zora Lilian Reeves, and I promise I'll never leave you?", I promise but with a crossed finger behind my back.

"You're welcome Anita Valerie Reeves"
This is kinda how we make a promise. It's a sisters thing.
"Now run off, see Zoe's all alone"

With Zora gone, I look at what she gave me. It's a shell, not just a shell. It's a black shell tinted with pink and it's glistening with diamonds, real diamonds. She doesn't know how expensive this thing is. I should probably sell it.

My stomach knots into a very tight twist at the thought of selling it. No I won't, I can't. Now I wouldn't be able to carry out my original plans because she has made me promise. And I live by the rule 'My Word is My Bond'.

"Picnic time!", I yell after about 3hrs of the shell incident. They run back to the picnic table.
"I get the sandwich" Zoe yells
"Uh...no fair, I want the sandwiches". Zora whines.
I just smile at them, enjoying this moment.
"Now, now, you both can share the sandwich and I'll have all the pie to myself". I say slyly because I love sandwiches.

They look at each other and grab the pie away from my reach and begin to do justice to it. Ha! Kids. So easy to deceive. I hum to myself as I eat the sandwich.

Speaking of food, I wonder how mother is preparing for the Thanksgiving.

"Thanks for today Anita" Zoe says as I drop her off with her mum.
"Anytime love"

"What a day", Zora says upon our arrival at the house. I didn't respond. We walk inside and I tell her to go and shower.

I move to the living room and see Christopher and Robert at the play station.
"Hey big sis, how was the outing?" Chris asks.
"It doesn't matter, just concentrate on the game" Robert says.
"Yes it doesn't, I wasn't even going to answer the question" I scoff leaving the place.

I'm in the room now and Zora is already asleep. Huh, this is just 5:10pm. I guess she must be tired. I move to the bathroom to take a shower and now I'm done, I put on a black jeggins accompanied with a black T-shirt that has a 'I hate my life' written on it with pink caption. I put on my pink slippers and I leave the house.

"Hey Anita", Zayn says.
I internally groan. I've already forgotten about them. But I don't have time for small talks. It wouldn't hurt to say hi too.
"Hi Zayn, I'm in kinda a hurry so we'll talk later", I hurriedly say as I walk past him. I'm in no mood to talk to him at all.

15minutes later, I find myself in the spot where I was yesterday waiting for Nina.

"I've been waiting"...