The elevator car hummed as it rose.

At first glance, it seemed very ordinary. Smooth panels of metal lined the walls, and nice bright lights in the ceiling illuminated the car. There were even transparent doors that allowed its occupants to see the world outside. This was precisely where Fade started panicking.

There was no world outside the elevator.

There wasn't even a planet.

The empty void of space yawned outside, dotted with countless white stars that streaked past. It was so vast and dark that Fade felt like they were mere insects swallowed up by an unfathomable beast.

Why were they in space? How did an elevator even get into space? Perhaps more importantly, just how much alcohol did he drink last night?

Fade's eyes shifted to the other people in the elevator. They all rode in silence, standing motionlessly, their expressions bored. None of them seemed to be concerned about this whole situation.

But Fade was very concerned, because there was something wrong with these people too. They must have walked out of a sci-fi movie since they were kitted out in insane armored suits and weapons. One of them was an enormous bald dude that looked strong enough to give the Hulk a run for his money. His suit was gunmetal gray and had enough material to cover a tank.

Very quietly, Fade swallowed his saliva. He slowly pressed himself back into the corner of the elevator and prayed that none of these freaks noticed him.

That was when he became aware of the third problem. He felt strange. There was a weight on his arms, a light pressure against his chest. He looked down and immediately forgot how to breathe.

He'd been encased in silver. From neck to toe and even his hands, it was like a really bored engineer had spent hours covering him with intricate, interlocking pieces of silver metallic material that was nowhere as heavy as it looked. It was similar to what the other people in the elevator wore, except he didn't get the cool futuristic guns. All he got were two wimpy knives strapped to each thigh.

Dumbfounded, Fade flexed his fingers. There was no resistance. It was like he had bare hands. He touched his armored belly, admiring the contoured abs. Last time he checked, he had no abs. Or muscles, really. If this futuristic space armor wanted to give him abs, then great. No complaints from him.

It was just...why was he in this armor?

Once again, he lifted his gaze to the others. Maybe he was missing something here. Perhaps he'd gone to a nerd convention after getting black-out drunk and ended up with strange new friends.

'Friends' who tricked him onto an impossible space elevator. He narrowed his eyes.

Besides the bald hulk, there was a gorgeous woman with long red hair cascading down her neon green armor. Her eyes glowed electric green, which unsettled him. People weren't supposed to have iridescent eyeballs, at least not in the modern world he was familiar with.

Unless she was a robot. That sort of technology was really starting to take off, but never had he imagined it coming this far. She really was impressive.

He retracted his gaze, suddenly wary. Killer robots were a very real thing. In movies, anyway. He'd be an absolute fool to get on her bad side, especially since she'd easily be able to throw him out of the elevator and into space. He peered through the transparent doors. Stars moved across the black, giving the impression that the elevator travelled upwards at a steady pace.

Oh my word.

Reality started to sink in. Fade would have considered this a dream, but there was a growing ache in his skull, like his brain was swelling and starting to push against its cage. You weren't supposed to feel pain in dreams, right?

I'm actually in a freaking space elevator. In space!

Boy, his mom would be so proud if she knew he'd become such an accomplishment astronaut.

Fade blinked twice, his eyes watering a little. Desperately trying to hang on to the tail of his fleeing sanity, he observed the other two people in the elevator.

One was a tall and thin man with dark skin and glittering eyes. He was quite good looking, although a sinister air clung to him. His all-black armor looked like something a futuristic assassin would go for, and frankly, Fade would have preferred the black over the highly visible silver he got stuck with. Whose brainless idea was that, anyway?

The last and fifth occupant of the elevator was the most ordinary person of the bunch. He wore a dark business suit and sunglasses. No space suit. No cosplay weapons. Nothing.

When Fade looked at him, the man in the business suit turned his head and smiled at him.

"So, I bet you are wondering why I've gathered you here," he said.

Yes, Fade was 100% wondering that. He was wondering about a whole pile of things actually, but this was a great place to start.

Still smiling, the businessman reached over to the control panel on the wall and pushed the red button. With a quiet shudder, the elevator halted and the stars outside the transparent doors stopped drifting by.

"All right. You all should have had enough time to reorient yourselves from the scrub. But just in case any of you are still adjusting, I'll go over the basics. I am your Guide and I will be watching over you today. You all have been handpicked for a Triple S-ranked cleaning mission. After all, the four of you are the best at what you do."

The skinny dark guy smiled slowly, as if hearing his praises sung pleased him.

Fade was still stuck on the first sentence. Scrub? Did they have a bath? What?

The last thing he remembered was staggering out of his '23 grad party, one arm slung over the shoulders of his best friend, Drip. Drip wasn't his real name, of course, but it sounded far better than Bartholomew. It was a close call between Drip and Barf actually, though in the end, Drip was the nickname that stuck.

Arrgh, my head hurts. Fade reached up to gently massage his forehead. The ache hadn't subsided at all. In fact, it was growing worse. This was officially the worst hangover headache ever.

The man in the business suit noticed. "Ah. My apologies, Fade. They always have to scrub you a bit harder, I'm afraid. Here, this will help."

He reached into his breast pocket and withdrew a tiny white case. He popped it open to reveal a little white tablet. This, he offered to Fade, who merely stared at it in varying degrees of disbelief.

Is he offering me drugs?

Well, why the heck not. Drugs were the least worrisome part of this situation. Hey, maybe they were the cause of this situation. How else did he end up in an elevator after getting an extra thorough scrub down? He didn't think all the alcohol in the world alone would convince him to let a pile of strangers 'scrub' him and dress him in a bizarre silver suit.

Suppressing a shudder, Fade picked up the tablet, placed it on his tongue, and dry swallowed it. It tasted vaguely minty.

The Guide snapped the case shut and returned it to his pocket. "Now then, let me tell you about your mission."

"About time." The redhead folded her arms under her bust, one long finger tapping lightly against her suited arm.

Fade tried not to look at her. She was the kind of woman that teenage boys fantasized about. Though he'd always preferred brunettes, he couldn't help but notice how absolutely flawless she was in her construction.

Get a grip, Fade! You're in a space elevator and hallucinating! Now is not the time to–

The Guide cleared his throat. He looked at all of them, but his sunglasses seemed to face Fade's direction a little longer than the others.

"One of AnCore's research stations have gone dark. The scheduled communications stopped, and all attempts to connect with the station's servers have failed."

"Even the hub, huh?" Redhead whistled. "Thing must be completely shut down then."

The Guide gave her a nod. "That's what we believe, yes. Evidently, it was not a scheduled shut down. As the station's residents have not responded, we can only assume there was a malfunction or intentional disruption. It will be your job to find out what happened, as well as confirm whether operations can be resumed."

Fade's stomach had been sinking, and now it reached his knees. Any further and he'd lose it entirely. This was madness. He shouldn't even be here.

A research station? For what? Who even was AnCore? Couldn't they send a maintenance crew to check it out? Why was he here? He didn't know anything about this. Were they acting out a fanfiction of sorts? If so, he didn't know any lines.

The urge to grab on to his head and start yanking at his hair was overwhelming. None of this made any sense whatsoever.

I must have gotten on the wrong elevator at the nerd convention.

"I can see why I'm here," Redhead said. Her unnatural green eyes flickered around the elevator before settling on the hulk. "But the firepower here seems a bit overboard. And who's the skinny guy?" She pointed at the dark skinned man.

"Right, sorry. I should have started with introductions." The Guide adjusted his sunglasses. "Some of you already know each other, so please bear with me."

"Lydia," he nodded at the redhead. "She's a technical engineer specializing in security. If the station's AI is the problem, then she'll handle it."

"That's right," Lydia purred, her long eyelashes dropping just enough to make her eyes look illegal.

The Guide remained unaffected. Maybe he was a robot as well. He gestured to the huge bald guy. "Mother will be your heavy lifter. As always, my dear, it's a pleasure to work with you."

Say what now? Mother? Whose idea was it to call a terrifying hulk that? Fade's jaw nearly unhinged itself when said giant hulk spoke in a gentle, very feminine voice.

"The pleasure is all mine, Guide. And it is also wonderful to see your handsome face again, Fade." The bald behemoth smiled, its—her—eyes settling on Fade.

He stared back in mute shock, failing to find even one word that he could use to respond. This was the kind of mother that lived in horror films. It was also the kind of mother that he was very sure he'd remember, yet he was dead certain that this was the first time he ever saw her.

And yet she knew him.

How? From where?

What kind of alternate reality had he fallen into?

"Then we have Professor Daktari, a combat biologist and accomplished researcher." The Guide indicated the dark fellow, who immediately lifted his chin proudly. "Considering the station's subject of study, the Professor will deal with any containment issues."

"Containment?" Lydia's brow arched. "We're looking at a bio breach now as well?"

"Possibly," the Guide said. "We're not sure what's going on there. No contact, remember? That's why the Professor is here."

"What was the subject?" Daktari asked. His voice was deep and smooth, and he had a way of carefully articulating every syllable.

"It's an alien plant from the outer rim. Our clients did not specify, but they suggested you use caution and try to preserve it if possible."

"It's dangerous?" Mother asked.

That made Lydia laugh. "Is anything from the outer rims not dangerous?"

The Guide shrugged. "It's a possibility. They were disappointingly vague with the details. But that's why Fade is going with you. I'm sure you're all aware of his capabilities."

What capabilities? Fade thought. There was a frantic little flutter in his chest. I barely graduated, I don't have a job, and the only thing I'm good at is throwing darts in a bar!

"Oh, I'm aware," Lydia purred, while Mother just smiled gently. As gently as 300lbs of solid muscle could smile, anyway.

The Professor considered Fade seriously. "I've heard the stories."

The Guide adjusted his sunglasses. "As have we all. Now, any questions before I send you off?"

Fade's hand shot up.

"Yes, Fade?"

With a calm he absolutely did not feel, he said, "I have a few questions, yes."

More like a few hundred.

"I imagine you do," the Guide said kindly. "But let's give it a few minutes, okay? Your memories will reorient themselves soon. They always do. Is your head feeling better?"

It was, to Fade's surprise. The aching pressure was mostly gone. Now if only there was a pill for crippling confusion.

The Guide didn't wait for a response. Or rather, he pretended he heard one. "Good. Now everyone, you all know your roles. Fade, with your extensive experience and talents, you'll be leading the team."

What?

"I'll set up the transfer." The Guide leaned over and pushed another button on the elevator's control panel. The whole car shivered and the stars outside began to move again.

Fade's eyes widened. Hold on just a minute here! They couldn't do this. He couldn't do this! There was no way on God's green Earth that he could possibly–

Light flared inside the elevator, blinding him. He squinted and thought he heard a distant scream. Then the light faded and he found himself standing in a three-sided metal box similar in size and shape as the elevator car.

Except, the Guide was gone.

And they weren't in space anymore.

The first thing Fade noticed was the coldness. The humid air held a bitter chill, and he could see his breath puff out before him. The second thing was the colors were all wrong. It was like someone had changed everything into grayscale.

"We're here," Mother murmured behind him. It was very kind of her to point out the obvious, because even Fade could tell they weren't on the elevator anymore.

They all left the box, though Fade did so reluctantly. He wasn't exactly comfortable with these people. But being left behind in a strange research station was even worse.

The room was small, and it only housed the three-sided box that they'd somehow arrived in. Ahead, taking up almost the entire wall, was a big round door that had been clamped shut from the inside.

"Looks like the Guide was right," Lydia muttered. "There's no power here. Place is completely dark."

"Good thing we have lights." The Professor tapped an area on his chest, and a powerful spotlight flooded the room.

Fade recoiled, his entire vision going white. He raised an arm to shield his eyes. For crying out loud, wasn't that overkill?

"There," Lydia's voice sounded satisfied. "That'll do until I can get the power back on. Now, Captain. What are your orders?"

No one responded. Fade lowered his arm, squinting at the sheer amount of light that permeated all four corners of the room. Not only was the Profressor beaming enough light to direct illuminate all of Texas, but so were the other two.

What was wrong with these people?It was like staring into the sun. 

"Fade?" Lydia questioned. "You all right? You're looking a little pale there."

"He's probably still disoriented," Mother said. She gently placed a hand on Fade's head. It was big enough to crush his skull. He stood very still, his heart beating a mile a minute inside his silver-encased chest.

"Right. Well. He better pull himself together. He's the Captain." Lydia placed a hand on her hip, her green eyes the brightest splash of color in the entire gray of the room.

Fade swallowed. His eyes watered a little.

Him? Captain?

Forget that. He wanted to go home and remember the time when reality and logic still existed. Forget space elevators with space cleaners in them and space farms with space plants! This was all insanity and he was done with it.

But it seemed like he didn't have a choice. Not when he was surrounded with three heavily armed people. Fade might be going crazy, but he didn't want to die just yet.

So there was only one thing he could do: pretend with every fiber of his being that he knew what he was doing.

"Well," he said slowly. "Let's start with getting these lights out of my face. And then let's get that door open."

He pointed at the big round door in the wall. Yeah, that seemed like a great place to start.