pardon me if i seem angry cause i am.

at kumon I finally enrolled in the reading program again.

I am soooooo pissed at the lady who got me into this. i have told her for over a year i don't want to do it. i kept telling her there was no value in me doing that damn level over and over. my parents didn't see the value in me finishing the damn level. Why?

1)i am a proficient reader.

2)colleges won't look at what i completed at kumon

3)it cost $120 for that damn subject and i am already in math.

then i tell her my rule for the reading program. before august 20. if you can't get me to finish that level before that day i will quit the program and not restart it. I won't care if i am one page away from finishing the level. 

You know, if she hadn't bugged me every single time i came there to rejoin but rather in bi monthly intervals, i might of actually willing do it. I spent over an hour doing a fifteen page packet for classwork and guess what i am taking several fifteen page packets home.

Also I got a plaque for finishing a certain level in the math. It irritates me so much. They say i achieved something by passing that level. I want to just smash it on the ground. I don't know why i have anger towards that plaque. 

I need help in math. That is the only valid reason i will accept as to why i am in kumon.

Maybe it is because of the constant nagging of them to tell me to finish up the course like my sister. She finished early. My parents constantly tell me that i should hurry and finish it quick.

I am not my sister.

My mind works differently.

Why are you trying to rush me, when you know that?

Sometimes my dad will talk about how many levels I need to complete. 

Just stop. I end up yelling at him everytime he does that and become extremely defensive about it. I know he is just wondering but he knows i don't like talking about it. At first it was okay, but after a while i get the urge to just to yell shut up. I don't say that to him but i feel like that.

They all say this with good intentions in mind. I know that but sometimes I just want them to stop. 

I look at the awards kumon gives me when i hit a certain point. G by 5. Being a year ahead. Completing level J. I look at all of these but I don't feel proud of them. 

Can't say that to my family.

Sigh~ I have very stupid problems and school hasn't even started. SMH (with vigor)