The darkness had by then filled your room, the moonlight was the only source of light brightening up the white walls of your room. There you lay on your bed, not being able to sleep. You were wide awake, your eyelids not even the slightest heavy. The scene of you and Baekhyun kissing replayed in your head repeatedly, making you shiver at the thought. You still had that thrilling feeling rushing through your body. The warmth of his mouth moving against yours still lingered on your lips, and the spot where his hand had touched your neck was still burning.

That experience had felt like something so surreal, like a dream. You couldn't help but wonder if that had been an illusion, but the swollen feeling on your lips was a proof of what had just happened.

Squeezing your eyes shot you shoved your face into the pillow and let out a muffled squeal. You didn't know how to feel about the situation. It was very confusing to you, and millions of thoughts about wrong and right had clouded your head. How were you supposed to feel about this?

When you had kissed, it had felt extremely nice and just- too good to even describe. While now, well what now? You were doubting, you were slightly regretting. What was your relationship going to be like after this? Were you automatically together, or were you just going to leave this matter behind your shoulders because you had probably been carried away by the mood? Was this going to mean nothing? Was Baekhyun going to act indifferent, like nothing had ever happened?

You were fearing that there would be an awkward atmosphere between the two of you and that you'd never get back to what you used to be. That scared you so much. The fact that you kissed was now a proof that you couldn't really state yourselves as best friends anymore, that'd be wrong.

...Best friends don't really kiss...

You knew you were going to regret this even if you didn't want to. You tried to make it more positive by thinking that maybe you could become something more than friends. But your head made it feel so wrong and unusual that it bothered you too much. It was different imagining to be with someone when you know you can't have them, but when you actually had a chance, it felt different. Because your brain would only picture the two of you as best friends if you thought of the two of you together. Maybe you weren't supposed to be together? Was that why it felt wrong to picture yourself with Baekhyun?

You groaned loudly and shifted position in your bed and tried to calm down. You convinced yourself that you were only overthinking the matter. Things couldn't be that bad and complicated, right?

With a sigh you closed your eyes, trying to catch some sleep, knowing that you'd probably look horrible in the morning because of the restless night.

* * *

The hysterical melody of your alarm resounded loudly in the air, waking you up. With a groan you turned it off, and sat on your bed, rubbing your eyes. The eyelids felt heavy, feeling as if you fall asleep just some minutes ago. With some efforts you managed to force yourself out of bed, dragging your heavy zombie-like body to the bathroom. As usual, you took a refreshing shower, which woke you up internally. After that, you applied your small amount of makeup.

And the whole morning routine went on with you feeling more and more nervous and angsty by every minute. You were afraid of how you were going to face Baekhyun. You didn't know what to expect. But the wise side of you told you to not expect anything. Just see what happens, and then start judging the situation fully. Because right now you couldn't really act.

You entered the school gates with your heart beating loudly in your chest, and as hard as it was, you tried to keep a straight face while hoping to not run into Baekhyun just now.

But fate wasn't on your side as you saw him at the lockers, searching or his material. A sigh escaped your lips as you gave up against yourself and moved towards him. He only noticed you when you had opened your locker next to his.

He eyed you, a rush of hesitation hitting him as he saw you, probably wondering how to act around you. You gazed at him from under your lashes, feeling slightly relieved to see him troubled. That meant he hadn't left the kiss behind his shoulders, right?

With courage you faced him and pulled a little smile, greeting him.

"Good morning." You said, feeling how the heart started beating faster.

The blood rushed to his cheeks as he slightly covered them with his arm and looked away, faking a cough.

"Hey there.." He replied.

Damn it.

You already hated this, you had just met and it was already too awkward for your own good. But nonetheless, you tried to save the mood.

You opened your mouth to speak but got cut off when Baekhyun spoke first.

"How did you sleep?" He asked, the blush had by now disappeared and he had managed to pull off a normal tone in his voice.

"Well... I slept okay I guess.." You said, remembering how you hadn't been able to fall asleep until 4 in the morning or whatever.

"You?" You eventually asked and saw how a relieved smile formed on the corner of his lips as he nodded lightly.

"Good I guess."

"Shall we go?" He offered and you nodded as you followed him to your class. Maybe this wasn't going to be so bad as you thought was it?

You and Baekhyun sat next to each other for the chemistry class, like always, though now it was different. By now you would have been fooling around, have fun together before the lesson would start. But this was nothing like that. There was an uncomfortable silence, and the air between you seemed thick. You wanted to break the ice and say something that could save you from the awkward atmosphere.

You fidgeted nervously with your hands that were messily placed on your lap. Baekhyun seemed to notice your uneasiness by the look on your face and how you blankly stared at your desk. He shook his head, feeling a little smile crawl on his lips, recognizing your actions, knowing that you always did that when you were nervous.

A gasp left your lips when you felt Baekhyun's hand brush against your thigh as it made it's way to your hand. His touch tingled on your body, feeling your skin burn even though you had the fabric of your clothes covering the spot he had accidentally touched.

There was no way you could by now have control over your crazy heartbeat, you heard it loudly beat in your ears as your cheeks heated up so much you started to feel sweaty.

A rush went down your spine when his fingers intertwined themselves with yours under the desk. You shot him an embarrassed and questioning look. He only beamed softly and gave your hand a squeeze, trying to calm you down. Which had worked for half a minute, but when you realized once more that Baekhyun had sneaked his hand into yours under the table, your brain seemed to tell your heart to explode. Taking a big breath you managed to get yourself together and calm down a little. Your body was still trembling under his touch, as well as your legs had unfortunately decided to go weak when his thumb had brushed over your knuckles.

Though you couldn't interpret this as a special action, cause Baekhyun holding your hand wasn't new, it had been a habit. But again this time it had felt extremely different, just as it was the first time he had done that. And for the first time after years, your heart reacted to it. This wasn't good. You didn't know what to do you. She wished she could just not care and be with him, but it was harder than that. People wouldn't understand if you told them.

The fact that you were best friends made it harder. You wanted to love him, you loved him, you had finally admitted it again. But, a part of you was still holding back, you weren't sure if you wanted to change the way you were. Because the way it had been before was just fine. Though you couldn't even deny that having Baekhyun kissing you, or holding your hand was also very fine, heaven to be exact.

Again you had started overthinking things, you couldn't think straight. It was a problem, you wondered if Baekhyun was going to take this subject up with you. Was he going to confirm what the two of you were? You were insecure.

The warmth of Baekhyun's hand seemed to distract you from your clouding thoughts. You couldn't help but notice how smooth and healthy the skin of Baekhyun's hands was. It made you feel a bit self-conscious about your own. You could feel how your hands were dry against his skin, and immediately you regretted that you didn't apply any hand cream this morning. When you were stressed your skin tended to dry very fast.

Minah walked into the classroom and immediately her eyes found yours. You could see the surprised look in her eyes as she eyed you judgingly. You raised your eyebrows at her as he walked to her seat, her eyes never leaving your figure. You were too caught up with Minah's intense look to remember that Baekhyun was sitting next to you.

You shook your head questioningly at her. Her eyes pointed fastly at under the table as she then clasped her hands together, referring to your holding hands under the table. Baekhyun was giving you weird looks at you and Minah whom were conversating with only looks and gestures.

He looked dumbfounded but you understood everything.

You blushed at her statement not really being able to deny something so obvious. You looked away fro a short second, but your eyes found hers soon after. She had a stern look on her face as she pointed her index finger at you, and gestured a talking mouth with her hand. By then you knew she was demanding you to tell her everything later. You sighed in defeat and she shot you a triumphant smile.

* * *

The three of you sat on your usual table in the cafeteria, eating lunch and conversating. You were grateful had been there because the whole tension had gone down, thanks to her being around, and you and Baekhyun seemed able to talk normally this time.

Baekhyun who was currently sitting next to you had stood up from his seat, walking a little bit, stopping his tracks behind you. Minah shot him a confused look, he only smiled normally back.

"I'm thirsty so I'll get something to drink, you two want something?" He offered and Mianh beamed brightly at Baekhyun's kind offer.

"A juice would be nice, thanks!" She nodded excitedly and Baekhyun chuckled at her cute behavior. He suddenly put his hands on top of your shoulders, his fingers softly squeezing themselves into the tensed knots in your shoulders.

"And how about you?" He asked you, squeezing your shoulders once more to indicate you that he was talking to you.

"Uhm, just some sparkling water." You informed a bit nervous under his touch that was so simple yet enough to drive your insides crazy.

"Got you." He lastly said before leaving you and Minah alone.

In the blink of an eye, Minah had scooped herself closely to yours as she looked at you with curiosity.

"So what's going on between you two, best friends?" She asked suspiciously with an eyebrow raised and a smirk on her lips. You gulped loudly as you opened your mouth to speak.

"Well, yesterday... We may or may not have gotten a bit more close to each other than usual best friends do." You admitted discretely, not mentioning anything particular. Minah gasped as she looked at you with big eyes, full of shock and curiosity.

"Tell me more!" She exclaimed as she scooted closer to you if that was by now possible.

"Uhm. We kissed..." You confessed, the sentence came out only as a low whisper but it was loud enough for Minah to hear, and eventually squeal out loudly.

"SHH!" You hissed and placed your finger on your lips to remind her to keep quiet. She nodded and covered her mouth to keep herself from screaming out more. Her cheeks were pink and her eyes were glittering with genuine surprise and happiness.

"I'm so happy for you! How do you feel about it?" She urged with an high pitched voice, trying to keep it as low as possible so that people in the cafeteria wouldn't hear.

You glanced thoughtfully ahead of you and noticed Ha Jin sitting a few tables away from yours, she was laughing about something with her friend. She felt your gaze on her and so looked back at you, a smirk growing on her lips as she then looked away.

"Actually I don't know how to feel about it.." You admitted feeling how the doubts crawled back into the back of your head. Minah gave you an understanding look.

"Ah... Is it because you're..." She started and you nodded, not needing to hear her whole sentence cause you already understood. You glanced back at Ha Jin and noticed that she was already gone. You shook her away from your thoughts and started searching for words to explain yourself to Minah.

"I just don't know what's right anymore... I really like him and everything, it's just that it happened so weirdly, that I actually don't know how to clarify that kiss. I can't understand what it means. If I should see it as something that doesn't mean anything because we're originally friends, or just take it as a hint that he liked me. But again, something tells me that it was just an impulse he had. I don't if he's attracted to me that way. I really can't tell." You explained and Minah nodded with comprehension.

"I get what you mean, I'd suggest asking Baekhyun about it, if I don't get it wrong, he's the one who started it, right? So gather up some courage and ask him, okay? Maybe he's too troubled himself to take it up himself. Though I can understand how hard this is to accept when you have in the past tried to forget your feelings for him." Minah replied wisely, her words helping you to the fullest. It was nice to have a friend that understood you.

"It really is hard... It's just that I'm afraid of things changing you know... The tension between me and Baekhyun was already awkward today, I'm afraid to ruin another relationship with my feelings, cause what if he didn't mean that kiss? I wouldn't know what to do with myself if hat was the case." You started and sighed.

"I just don't know if it is right of me to love him, is it okay for me to love him? to risk our friendship. Aren't we too close to becoming intimate? Is it too late?"

"Maybe it would be less complicated if my stupid feelings wouldn't have shown up anymore." You said, pouring your heart out for Minah who just took in every one of your worries and scanned the situation.

You sighed in frustration and put your face into your hands and groaned.

"Why do I still love him? Can't I just learn to move on? Gosh!"

"I hate you for making me like this Byun Baekhyun..."

"I can't just love you... I can't accept that-" You were going to continue on ranting your nonsense frustrations but got cut off by a loud bang against the table. You and Minah looked at the person in horror. The shock traveled through your body as you saw Baekhyun standing there with his fingers nailing into the juice bottle. His face had a furious expression.

Anger, rage, sadness, disappointment was written all over his face, in his eyes.

"What's wrong with loving me?!

"What's so bad about loving me?"

"What's so wrong about me?!"

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can y'all feel the drama coming? :^) hueheueheue