"You never really know a person until you've dragged them through the dirt. Through the thick and thin. You only have one life - do not waste any time. There is so much that you can do and see...so many people that you can meet who can flip your life upside down. Your life has always been what you make of it, whether you fail to acknowledge that or not."

My father had left that note on my dressing table one morning. It was just another one of those days when he'd go out of town and remain for a couple of days or more. As I aged, I realised how, to my father, our little notes and exchanges were also his bit of documentation. He wanted me to remember, somehow and for a reason, I could never recall.

I folded the note and sat on the edge of my bed, staring blankly.

There was a knock at my door.

"Yes?" I called.

My mother walked through the door and slowly closed it behind her. I whipped my head around to my unmade bed.

"I just woke up -"

"No, it's not that." My mother held up her hand, "Your father's gone again."

My mother sounded defeated as she strolled over to me. Her slim frame was almost caving in, and her pin-straight hair was in a long ponytail.

"...Really?" I tried to sound clueless as I made room for her on the bed. I slipped my father's note below my butt.

"Yes." She exhaled, then laid on her back with a tired expression.

I stared back at her, unsure of what to do or say. I wasn't used to my mother being this way.

I said lightly, "He'll be back soon. Don't worry." And I laid beside her.

***

If I could count on one thing to relieve me of life's stresses, it would be a motorcycle ride going nowhere particular - and fast.

"Catch up, guys!" Nadia screamed as she and Pancho sped past me.

I looked at her as she waved her arms in the air, without reserve or care, and fell in love with her free spirit.

My arms were snaked around Anders' torso, and I pressed my forehead to his back, afraid to let go. We passed by convenience shops, gas stations, and even a ranch or two before there was nothing more to see. The sun rose high and hot, gifting us with blistering heat. Droplets of sweat soaked Anders' shirt. I didn't pay too much attention to it like he didn't pay much attention to me.

I heard another set of shrieks as Brooke and Jacques drove past.

"Lizzie, let go...!" Brooke's voice trailed off as Jacques drove ahead of Anders.

I exhaled sharply. Without a second thought, I pried my hands away from Anders. His back muscles went tense then he slowed a little.

"No, don't!" I shouted and poked his shoulder until he picked up the pace again.

I lifted my hands into the air, allowing the rushing wind to whip my clothes in different directions and sting my skin. Adrenaline surged through me, my thighs burned, and my heart banged against my chest. I didn't care, suddenly, about how long we'd be driving. I didn't care about anything except this. A laugh escaped my mouth. All around me were endless fields, old signs, and billboards. Ahead of me, our short line of motorcycles and Odin in a rented, old car leading us at the front. For the first time in forever, I felt like I belonged. 

After a few more minutes, I placed my hands on Anders' shoulders to steady myself again.

We arrived at an intersection with rusty traffic lights. I expected Anders to make a left but then noticed the line of motorbikes bend to the right. He followed suit, and moments later, we arrived in a small neighborhood. People smoked and played cards on the pavement, and some of them eyed us as we cruised past. One woman, in particular, gave me a snide look like if we'd met before. I turned away and looked straight ahead.

"Drop-off's in about three...two..." Anders spoke up as we approached a bright, yellow building at the end of the street.

I waited for the motorcycle to come to a complete stop before hopping off.

"Thanks for the ride," I told him.

"Come again soon." He said as his gelled hair shone in the sun.

I pushed my locks away from my face and then strolled off toward Erika. My short pants were rolled up, providing a leggy display, and I could feel Anders' eyes on me. When I faced him again, I found out that I was right.

He blinked, "What?"

"Oh, nothing." I shrugged lightly, smirking at him.

Erika grinned at me as she stretched her legs. She had ridden in the car with Odin.

"How was the drive?"

"It was great," I idly traced my fingers on Pancho's bike beside us, "...Liberating."

"Well, I can see that!" She raised her brows at my outfit and laughed.

Brooke marched over with two plastic bags in her hands. She wore a denim skirt and red bralette, and her hair was adorned with a red bow.

"Hey, take this," she handed me one of the bags and then snapped her head around to Erika.

"What?" Erika straightened up and dusted off her black jeans and tube top.

"Don't influence Lizzie with your -"

"Listen, I'm only here cause Oliver's inside," she pointed toward the motel, "I'm not here for you."

"...Did something happen?" I said in a stunned voice, "And who's Oliver, again?" I forced a smile.

"Her man-trap." Brooke tucked a loose strand into her bun and made a face at Erika.

It was hard to be mad at Brooke for long, at least for me. I noticed, however, that maybe Erika didn't feel the same way.

She frowned bitterly, "Oliver's not a trap. You should speak for yourself."

"Oops!" Brooke said teasingly and then walked away with a skip in her step.

"...I'll carry the bags inside," I said to Erika, who just glared silently at the floor.

***

Nadia and I entered the motel, and much to my surprise, the lobby floor was flooded with people. Except, it was a lobby like no other. It was messier.

Men and women crowded tables and booths, and loud music filled the room. There was a woman at the bar counter standing in front of a large winery decorated with drinks. I turned to the far side of the room, and a woman was straddling a man who had a beer can and was laughing along to whatever she was saying. There was also Jacques, reclined in a lonely corner with a cigar and reading a newspaper.

"C'mon," Nadia bumped my shoulder, and we went over to the bar.

I sat on a stool between Nadia and Odin. I elbowed Odin to catch his attention, and he glowered until he registered who I was.

"Oh, hey Elizabeth," his eyes softened, "Didn't see ya."

"Were you zoned out?" I asked him.

He laughed, "Maybe."

A woman appeared in front of us, holding a card. She slid it across the counter to Odin.

"Everything there's seventy cents." She stopped, "Who's this beauty?"

I stared at her black, beehive hair and dark mascara as she squinted at me.

"Betty, this is Lizzie. It's her first time here." Nadia replied.

Betty leaned forward secretively, "In that case, tequila, and lime, on the house!"

Brooke and Nadia cheered while Odin's jaw dropped.

"Hey, I know Lizzie, too!" He quickly added.

I laughed loudly.

After we all had a look through the limited menu, I turned around to search the floor for Erika. I noticed that she was at a table in the middle of the room, laughing with a skinny guy with shoulder-length brown hair. I assumed that he was Oliver. I wanted to go over to her, but something about the way she glanced at Brooke and Nadia told me otherwise.

Betty returned with our salt-rimmed shots, pickles, peanuts, and meatballs on toothpicks. I grabbed the glass with the thickest lime slice.

Everyone else got a drink, except Odin, who claimed that he didn't drink, and we prepared to make a toast.

"To friendship!" Nadia lifted hers.

"And all these guys in leather..." Brooke gazed across the room at Jacques.

I snapped my fingers at her, "Focus."

After we touched glasses, I put the shot to my head violently. A burning sensation crept down my throat and resided in my chest, where it grew even warmer. I bit into my lime slice, and its juice trailed down my neck messily. As my nose stung, I squeezed my eyes together and banged on the counter with my palm. It was absolutely disgusting.

Odin pulled my hand away and upturned my palm to reveal its crimson-red hue.

He looked at me wide-eyed, "You -"

"Let the girl live!" Nadia grabbed my arm away.

Brooke was on her feet, grabbing salted peanuts and eating as much as she could.

A little turned into a lot as we pigged out, moving between pickles and meatballs and back again. Every snack was followed by an extreme thirst, quenched solely by low-booze beers. Eat, drink, repeat. I continued on with the girls until I could no longer hear what Odin was saying and convinced myself that it was because the music was too loud.

Fifteen minutes later and I was finally on my feet at the back of the room with Brooke. We were dancing to a song that neither of us knew. Soon enough, we collapsed onto the floor, holding each other tightly. Time flew by, which I had long lost track of since we'd arrived.

Odin appeared in front of us.

"I hope I'm not interrupting something..." He folded his arms.

Brooke hissed, "Get lost!"

"Brooke..." I pouted at her, and she creased her forehead in confusion.

"...Some of us are heading into the pool," Odin's eyes scanned us, "I assume neither of you is going?"

Brooke sat up immediately, "I'll go!" She meant to rest her hand on the floor but found my face instead.

"Ow!" I slapped her hand away.

To me, our voices sounded muffled - as if we were underwater. I sat up slowly, heard a high-pitched ringing in my ears, and then a massive headache overcame me. I clutched both sides of my head and stared at my lap.

Odin stooped beside me and placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Elizabeth definitely can't go." He said to Brooke.

Jacques opened the front door. It was only then that I realised the room was empty as everyone had moved the party outside. The music had died down, also.

"Brooke," Jacques' lustful eyes skimmed her helpless state.

She laid back down dramatically, pointing at him with her pinky finger, "Come get me."

In a few swift strides, Jacques came over to us and stood before Brooke. He glanced at me, at Odin, and then back to her.

"This is not why we came here," he pulled off his jacket, revealing his colourful arms.

"I know..." Brooke whined and started moving like a snake.

I side-eyed her and inched away, suddenly scared. Odin snickered and then put my head on his shoulder. I pulled my knees to my chest as he wrapped his arms around me in a warm embrace.

"Call it a night, you two," Jacques' voice strained as he gathered Brooke in his arms, "At least for the next few hours."

I pulled my eyebrows together, "Don't drop her," I said to him.

He gave me an unimpressed look, "Uh-huh. Sure. Odin, get my jacket."

Odin's mouth opened to retort like he always did with Jacques, but he decided against it. I raised my head, and as he moved away, I was overwhelmed with longing and emptiness all over again.

He grabbed Jacques' jacket off a nearby chair and carefully laid it across Brooke. I squinted, trying to see outside, which was now dark. The room was poorly lit, at least in the back where we were, by just a couple orange bulbs suspended from the ceiling.

Slowly, I could feel myself returning to reality. How long was I on the floor? Had it been that long? I examined the room aimlessly as if the burned cigars and old chairs could tell me.

Brooke and Jacques finally left.

"...I just need a place to rest..." I almost-whispered.

Everything felt surreal to me - nearly too good to be true. My heart ached the way it had when I had left Catherine. I couldn't understand why - everything was right in front of me, but part of me knew not to hold on too tightly.

"I know," Odin sat next to me, "You can go upstairs to Nadia's room."

I lent him a grateful smile, which I could only sustain for a second.

Up close, I noticed how parts of Odin's bottom lip were bitten raw and how his T-Zone was adorned with freckles. Due to the bad lighting, that may have been a work of my imagination. He noticed me staring and folded his lower lip inwards.

"Thank you." I pulled him in for a hug. Then, I planted a kiss on his warm cheek, praying that I didn't cross any boundaries.

When I pulled away, he chuckled, and his smile lit up the room like always. He took my hand and gave the back of it a clumsy kiss.

When I finally managed to get to my feet, Odin helped me past the clusters of people coughing and wheezing smoke.

I looked at the others near the pool for a moment, thinking I'd gotten lucky for once.

***

A few hours later, while most persons were still out at the pool, I woke up from my nap. The clock on the wall read two-thirty in the morning.

I rolled out of the stiff bed, and my feet landed on the wooden floor with a loud thump.

The corridor lights were on, and I heard a couple of voices coming from outside. Of course, I stood and pressed my ear to the door.

"That was the fourth time!"

I recognised Anders' voice and immediately swung open the door. I didn't know what I expected to catch him doing, but he and Jacques were sitting in the corridor playing a game of chess. They stared at me blankly.

"What are you guys doing?" I acted like I hadn't noticed the chessboard.

"Playing chess, obviously..." Anders gestured toward the board.

"And drinking soda." Jacques shook his drink at me, "Wanna join?"

"No." I scowled at him, "You guys own motorcycles and beer but play chess at two in the morning?"

"Nearly three," Anders added.

I shifted my weight before leaving my room and sat between the both of them.

"Jacques?" Brooke called from one of the nearby rooms.

"Yikes. I'm coming!" He called back and made a face at Anders, "I'll be back."

Jacques went into the nearest room.

I cleared my throat. All the gel was out of Anders' hair, and his dark eyes were accompanied by shallow, tired lines. He looked over to me, too, openly surveying me, the way that I did to him.

Once our eyes met, he asked, "Want a drink?"

"No. Let me ask you something..."

The words left my mouth before I even thought of a way to continue the conversation. I decided to entertain the same thoughts I had had before I had fallen asleep.

"You ever wonder how you'd lived for so long without knowing someone?" I rested my head against the wall and spoke lazily.

His eyes shot open, "Someone like who?"

"Anyone you see as a necessity..."

It was unusual of me to be on the floor of a motel talking to someone I hardly knew. I often asked myself what had led me here, just so I could retrace my steps in another life and do it all over again.

"I don't see anyone as a necessity," he lowered his voice, "Not anymore."

There was something that Anders was hiding. Was it something to do with Carmen?

I tilted my head, suddenly curious.

"What do you see them as?"

He remained quiet for a while, staring up at one of the light bulbs perched on the opposite wall. The light rays danced along his jawline and handsome features.

"As...guilty pleasures." He finally said, "Everything I do, is for them."

As we talked further, I realised that, somehow, Anders had created a life devoted to just this - the people he met along the way. I stared back at him with awe, which I hoped didn't show too much. If it did, I'd blame it on the alcohol.

"Well, aren't guilty pleasures necessities, too? Why distinguish them?" I questioned, eager to pick his brain.

Anders laughed lightly, his eyes catching mine again.

"Yes," he nodded, "I guess that they are."

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