For anybody wondering, my plan is to finish this book and then post book three to the Protection From Hell series :) Hopefully I can finish more books while I'm updating that and finishing up this one even :)

EDIT: I had to fix a couple of things in the first few paragraphs since this was prewritten and I didn't fix it before posting it originally

----------

It's crazy to think that your life can change from perfect and wonderful to falling apart and miserable in less than twenty four hours. You can go from happy to sad to happy then find yourself back at rock bottom. After a roller coaster like that, who wouldn't need a break from the world's turmoil and hardships?

Going off that logic, Evan convinced himself that he deserved a day off from school. After all, he had quite an eventful weekend, and no time for him to deal with everything that happened. He didn't want to miss school, he wanted to show everyone that he was fine, he would always be fine. But, something about today he just couldn't handle, he couldn't go and face his problems.

On Friday, he was happy. So, so happy. At the beginning of winter break, he had left school with an amazing, loyal boyfriend, a great group of friends, an incredibly supportive best friend, and a positive attitude. He was ready for a great winter break, he was having a great winter break. Friday has been fun.

Then it went downhill, really fast.

Saturday. Evan wakes up at noon to a text from Jon, wanting the boy to come over to where he was so they can hang out. Thinking nothing of it, Evan happily gets dressed, choosing to wear an outfit that his boyfriend had complimented him for wearing previously. Soon after, he left his house with a huge smile, excited to see his boyfriend.

He comes home an hour later, single, yet a winner. But he's too sad to enjoy his victory. He trudged up to his room, phone shut off since if it wasn't he probably would've smashed it into a million pieces just to get it to stop ringing.

Saturday night? Oh, Evan didn't even want to think about what happened on Saturday night, he couldn't put himself through that again, never again. He just couldn't.

Sunday, he's still miserable. His wounds still fresh, not even beginning to heal, he felt like getting hit by a bus would've hurt less.

Now, here he was, Monday morning, fully dressed and ready to walk out the door, when he just stops. He doesn't want to go, face the world that had been so cruel to him, he didn't want it.

So, he finds himself slinking away from the door, turning his back to it as he goes back up the stairs to his room.

What was the point anyway? He had only ever been up this early just so he could see Jonathan, who had hurt him, then spent the rest of his time with his friends, mostly Tyler, until class started.

In two days, two of the people he loved and trusted most had betrayed him, hurt him, practically ran him over with a bus, how could he have been so willing to see them again just a few minutes ago?

As the answer hits him, he is already at his laptop, ready to write it down.

------

AN OPEN LETTER TO LOVE:

Dear, Love,

You suck.

I hate you, I hate the lies you spread, I hate the truths you keep hidden. I hate your beautiful appearance, I hate your ugly inside. Bottom line, I hate every part of you.

Your rules, they're stupid, don't make any sense.

You're an enigma, something that everyone thinks they know how it works. That's how you end up with people like the people I've met. That's why people cheat on you, why they disregard disagreement.

I hate how much I want you, I hate how much I hate you, how much I rely on you, how much I'm willing to give for you, the list goes on and on.

But, most of all, I hate how much you make me hate myself.

The way I dress, the way I walk, the way I talk, how I look, how others look at me, the way I do my hair, everything. I hate it.

Why am I not good enough for you, huh? Why don't I deserve your happiness and support, but so many other people do? I just want to be good enough, but I also want to throw myself off a skyscraper, I'd do anything to make it hurt less, but why must you be so cruel to me?

Don't you understand? I hate every part of myself, and it's all your fault.

Dear Love, you suck.

--------

Best friends don't hurt each other, that's what Tyler had told him. That's what he had been constantly repeating for the past five years as he had worked himself into that slot. Tyler was his best friend, he trusted him, or at least, he used to.

He trusted Tyler even as he fed him drink after drink, telling him that he just wanted to make him feel better, telling him to cry as much as he needed. He trusted Tyler as he apologized over and over for making him accept the bet, for even suggesting the bet in the first place.

Tyler told him that he didn't deserve it, that no matter how many stupid jokes he made Evan was not a terrible person. Tyler kept saying sorry, kept hugging him, kept telling him it would be alright. He declined any call that came to either of their phones, whether it was from the guys or Jonathan, who wanted to work things out, Tyler was there for him. Evan trusted him.

Evan trusted him right until the point he was pinned to the bed, and even a part of him still trusted him then, hell, a part of him still trusts him. Because Evan is gullible, he's weak, he lets people walk all over him, he lets people work him like a puppet on strings.

Naturally, he drifts out of his thoughts, discovering that it's dark outside and that he's literally been staring at a wall all day. It surprises him as he learns that he doesn't hurt any less.

He lays down on his bare bed, not caring enough to get up and get a blanket so he's not cold. Evan curls up on his side, shutting his eyes and trying not to think about anything at all, just wanting to sleep and maybe feel the slightest bit better in the morning.

-

Once again, he was unable to sleep, so he found himself wandering aimlessly at five in the morning, his stomach twisted in hunger from having not eaten at all the day before. He shrugs at the growing pain in his stomach, knowing it couldn't hurt any more than the pain he was already in.

He found himself in the shower at six, mentally preparing himself for the school day he was going to have later. It wasn't good for him, but he couldn't stand being home all day doing nothing again.

His friends arrived at the usual time, and Evan shot them a text saying to just come in and get something to eat while he got ready. They did as he asked, no one even bothering him since they all stayed in the kitchen.

"No one say anything stupid, okay?" Tyler hissed at the group of boys. "Evan is really hurting, don't fuck with him, got it?" He threatened, playing the role of a protective best friend.

"Hey." Evan appeared at the doorway, dressed as he usually would be, head hung low as he approached the group. He looked up at the clock on the oven, his heart sinking as he realized the time. 7:15. "Fuck." He whispered as an image of Jonathan appeared in his head, his smiling face bringing a frown to his.

"Evan! School was so boring without you yesterday, the teachers were even more of a buzzkill than usual." Craig smiles at him, avoiding the elephant in the room to try to take Evan's mind off it.

"Was it really?" Evan tries to get into the conversation, knowing that his friends just wanted to help him.

"Yeah, totally, like nothing happened all day, I swear it was a twelve hour day instead of eight." They were all trying to hide the fact that the only thing anyone talked about was how Jon cheated on him, about how Evan wasn't there.

"Are you hungry?" It looked like Evan hadn't eaten, and Tyler wanted to make sure he took care of himself, but Evan just shook his head quickly, taking a step away from him.

"I'm okay, Tyler." Evan didn't trust Tyler, not after Saturday night, not after he finally accepted that it was his (ex) best friend who did that to him.

He flinched as Tyler stood up, putting a hand on his shoulder comfortingly. "Come on, let's go to school." Everyone else pretended not to notice the scared movement and followed him to the door.

"Don't worry, Evan. No one is going to mess with you." David said with determination as the boy's began their trip to school. Evan said nothing as he followed, numbed by all sorts of pain that surged through his body, too focused on not tensing his muscles as he walked next to Tyler.

Too busy faking that he could care less that he took his thoughts away from his dark place and instead hid them behind his walls. Planning to never bring them down again because if anyone knew anything about him they would hurt him, and Evan can't handle anymore hurt. Not after this.