Evan remembered that the outfit he had chosen was one that Jonathan had previously said looked great on him, Evan walked to the theater with a smile. Any chance he got to see his boyfriend made him happy. To hug him, kiss him, it made him happy knowing that someone really wanted him there.

Or, maybe not.

Evan walks through the double doors of the theater and immediately feels his heart drop, his eyes focusing on the sight in front of him and he doesn't even notice he lets out a gasp before quickly turning around and leaving. He tries to clear his head before his emotions take over, instead numbing his senses as he leaves, tears welling up in the corners of his eyes.

----

With a quick glance at the double doors, noticing that he had just entered, he quickly pulled Jonathan forward, pressing his lips to his, closing his eyes to make it more believable, his hood covering his face save for his eyelids, which the natural light hit perfectly.

He heard a gasp come from the person who entered, then after a few moments he heard rushed footsteps and the door close behind him. He forcefully pushed down the guilt that was rising in his chest as he brought the kiss to an end.

He pulled away, and smirked at the person in front of him, whose eyes were wide in shock, tears brimming at the corners.

"W-why would you do that?" He said, hatred and pain filled his voice, his fists clenched at his sides as his expression changed from shock to anger. The boy in front of him laughed, grabbing Jonathan's chin and pulling his face close to his.

"Because he's mine."

-------

He stormed away, fists clenched as he felt his phone repeatedly vibrate in his pocket- he ignored it, utterly furious. If he let his anger fall, his sadness would drag him down, followed by the rest of the thoughts that haunted him on a regular basis, except so much worse.

Not surprisingly, he began to hear his name be called by someone behind him. Upon hearing the voice, tears began to prickle his eyes, and he quickly brought up his sleeve to wipe them away as he forced his legs to keep walking, taking him further and further away from his current growing problem. He should've known that things were too good to be true.

Ignore him, he told himself, ignore him, he'll go away if you just ignore him. As he told himself all this, he didn't notice the voice and footsteps growing closer with every passing second. He just tried to keep himself calm and his thoughts away from anything that could send him into a panic, his anger levels threatened to spike.

His wrist was met with a sudden tight grip, spinning him around and bringing his face close with Jonathan's. Almost immediately Evan felt his anxiety begin to spike as he realized he was already beginning to melt into the boy's eyes. He wanted to be angry, to be upset and maybe even hit the boy, but his feelings were a mess and his thoughts immediately associated Jonathan with happiness, even though that wasn't the case at that moment. Evan couldn't let him off easily, he couldn't, but he wanted to.

"Evan, please listen to me, I can exp-" Evan pushed his boyfriend off him, freeing his wrist from his grip. Tears came back in almost an instant as their eyes locked again, Evan could physically feel himself growing weaker from the sadness in the other teen's eyes. He wants to pull him into a hug, but that's a wrong thing to think, and a few tears escape him as he lets his anger take over for a little bit. His walls slightly falter at the surge of emotions he feels.

"Explain what, Jon? That I'm just not good enough? That you found someone else? There's nothing to explain, Jon, there's no coming back from this." Evan had to force his eyes away, quickly wiping his tears again. He feels his walls crumble just a bit more, chip, chip, chipping away with every passing moment.

"Evan, it's not like that, please believe me. You're so perfect, Evan, you're more than good enough, you're perfect, no one can even compare to you." He risks a step closer to the boy who's on the verge of completely breaking down. Cautiously, he placed a hand on his arm. "Just look at me. Please Evan, listen to me." He hears the words, but does not listen.

"No." Evan said, voice cracking even though he spoke barely above a whisper. "That just makes it harder. If I look at you, I'm just going to want to kiss you, if I look at you I'm never gonna want to let you go."

Jonathan felt something inside of him shatter at those words, hearing how broken this boy sounded. He took in the words, knowing that only a complete douche would use them to his advantage, to make Evan forget about everything that just happened.

But that's not Jonathan, he can't manipulate someone like that, he couldn't. Even though he should, it's what Luke would want him to do. He chose Evan over him, he should be willing to do whatever it takes just to keep him, but he can't.

It would be so easy to gently pull at his chin, bring his tear-filled brown eyes to meet his own blue ones and bring him in for a kiss. So easy, yet he couldn't do that to Evan, he couldn't, not after he had known him for so long.

"I'm so sorry, Ev, you have to believe me, just believe the words I'm telling you, I never would want to hurt you. I really care about you, Evan, I'm so sorry. I lo-"

"Don't say it." Evan cuts him off, fear now finding a place in his current mess of emotions. "And I don't say that because I'm afraid of it, because I'm not. God, I've waited for you to say that for years, but don't say it. Just don't." Silence hung in the air for a few more seconds. "Maybe you should just go." He whispers, risking a glance up at the boy before pulling his arm from his grip. Staying there longer was a dangerous game, a dangerous, dangerous game.

Evan spins around, hands shoved in his pockets and his head hung low. Once again, his arm was gripped and he was spun around for a second time.

"Evan! Please, let me explain......it wasn't my fault, you've got to believe me!" He was on his knees in front of his boyfriend, begging for forgiveness.

He shook his head, a tear falling down his cheek as anger boils inside him once again. "You're unbelievable, really. You just used your second chance! Why should I give you a third? You don't deserve it." He said angrily, turning away.

"Please Ev.....I-I love you." That was it, those were the only words he needed to hear. The words he didn't want to hear, the words that brought so many tears to his eyes, and caused so much emotion to flow through him because of how much they hurt.

The words he had willed his boyfriend not to say, the words that would sink his world like the titanic. Once again his anxiety spikes as he realizes that he won the bet, there was no fixing what the two had anymore because now Evan was so close to completing his goal, even if he brought them both down.

Take it back, he thought to himself, pleading that he would take it back. He couldn't bear the burden of hearing those words one last time, because every time he heard them it was like dying, his heart felt like exploding and he was drowning in guilt. He quickly wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket as he felt a tear stroll down his cheek. A heavy weight settles down on his shoulders.

"No, no you don't get to say those words. Not after this, not after you chose someone else before me yet again, you don't get to say that." He spoke, his voice barely above a whisper, his back still turned so he was faced away from his boyfriend, not that he could call him that at this point. Silence falls between them before Evan speaks once again. "I...I can't do this anymore."

"W-what? No, please stay with me....please I'm, I'm begging you! Evan!" Jonathan jumps to his feet in an instant, heart pounding at losing Evan as he once again begins to walk away from him.

"I can't, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry....." He walked forward, away from the broken boy behind him, the boy who had not only stolen his heart, but tore it in half. Tears rushed to his eyes the further away he got, he couldn't do this, but he had to. He didn't want to, but he had to, no matter how badly it hurt him, no matter how many pieces it tore him into.

Evan continued to walk away from Jonathan, the sole source of real happiness he had, the one thing he was actually proud of. Not to call him a trophy, but Evan thought he had actually earned a boy like him, but yet he left him. The only thing he's ever wanted in life, he lost him, probably because someone else deserved him more. To Evan, all he would ever be is just a bet, that's all he could think of him as because otherwise he'd do far more than what his self-destructive habits do on a regular basis. Self-destructive habits that had hurt him more than they should've because he did it to himself.

No matter what he did to help himself, to make himself better, he still fell down, all his efforts became nothing as he does the things he does over and over again.

He pulled out his phone, an unsatisfactory feeling of victory in the pit of his stomach. He pressed Tyler's contact and sent him the message he had not been looking forward to sending.

Evan: Tyler, it's done. I won the bet.

But the bet seemed like the only thing he had won, because the rest of the world seemed lost to him now. As soon as the text was sent he turned off his phone in anger, hot tears flowing down his face freely as he gave his emotions full control.

Because he had lost what he loved most, he deserved to be emotional for once. Anger built up inside of him, angry at the stupid bet, angry at himself for being dumb enough to fall for it, angry for being dumb enough to fall in love.

Just goes to show that people like him don't deserve to be happy.

------

Evan studied his ceiling, a small part of him wishing it would fall on him and kill him. His tears were now dried, leaving his eyes red and puffy with a slight stinging pain, the kind of pain that only comes from crying, the kind of pain that worsens emotional injuries rather than masking them.

The doorbell rang downstairs, and he couldn't find the energy to answer it until it rang about three more times. Then, he figured it would probably be a good idea to face whatever problems awaited him, no matter how much he didn't want to, no matter how much he wanted to crawl underneath his blankets and wait until everyone forgot he existed.

Miserably he trudged down the stairs, shouting 'coming' at whoever was on the other side of the door. He hoped it wasn't Jonathan, even though he so badly wanted to be in his arms, being told that this all is just a bad dream, he didn't want to see him. Evan couldn't face him after what he had just been put through.

He opens the door to be met with Tyler, his best friend, a bottle of Evan's favorite vodka in one hand and a bag of snacks in the other. His eyes sadden as he studies the state of his best friend.

"Hey, Ev. How you feeling?" Tyler steps inside as Evan closes the door, the two head to the kitchen so Tyler could drop off what he was carrying. After not getting a response, Tyler turns away from the counter to see his friend.

Almost immediately Evan pulls him into an embrace and begins to sob, not finding it in himself to keep faking his feelings to his best friend. He needed help, he knew he needed help, and Tyler was the only one who could help him right now.

"It hurts so bad, Tyler."