I was at the point in my life where nothing scared me more than the thought of losing someone I love.

My father once told me that people are like rivers, with tepid tides and faltering waves. It's fine if you admire them from afar, but if you build a home on them, they'll wash away with everything you put inside them, for people are like rivers; ever flowing, ever changing.

Getting attached to my comrades was never on my bucket list, losing them wasn't either.

When I lost Obito, I realized that a person's darkest vulnerabilities lied in the bonds they cherish. When I saw Rin dying in front of my very eyes, I realized that nothing remained in me anymore, I was a hollow, shell of a man, devoured by the termites of a own tragic fate. When I lost Minato Sensei I decided to devoid myself of any kind of emotions. I distanced myself from people, simply because I was scared of being hurt again.

Every night I managed to breathe through the nightmares of regrets. Every day I opened my eyes to the same sad reality, to the same voices, 'You're a strong man, Kakashi' and perhaps that was meant to keep me going. Perhaps, albeit, it didn't.

They didn't know anything about me, they didn't know about the heart wrenching pain that consumed me entirely, how its thorny wines snaked around my lungs and constricted my throat, how the blank ceilings were tired of hearing nonexistent sobs everyday, how it ached so much that it teared my bones and I had not the slightest clue of how to pour it all out.

But I guess as humans, we are meant to ache. That is why there is water in our eyes and blood in our veins. If we don't know pain, we don't know the truth. And truth is the soul of the universe. It makes our hearts roar in a way we find secretly magnificent.

And maybe, my entire existence, from the time the muscles in me began to grow, I was only tired, and wanted to go home, close the door, fall onto the floor and let everything out. Just tired of everything and nothing. And perhaps, I desired someone to fix me, to tell me it was going to be okay.

Not save me, I wanted someone to shush me when I falter, plant kisses on my scars and hold me at two a.m when my world has fallen apart into shards of nightmares. No, I did not want anyone to save me, I wanted someone to help me save myself.

'You're a strong man, Kakashi.' Yes, and I'm tired of that. Tired of these demons in my lungs. For once, I wanted - no, needed, a voice that silenced them. I wanted that guardian angel my father told me was going to look after me when he was gone.

After the fourth, I was the most broken boy you'd find walking on the streets with blank eyes, empty heart and a soul that trembled when he heard the word, 'love.'

My comrades, sure, had changed the idea of love for me, but after they were gone, I was back on square one.

And then, I met them. A klutzy blonde kid with candy heart eyes and pocket full of guts, I saw Obito in him. A sweet little pinkette with honey dripping from her words, I found Rin in her. And last, a genius boy who had seen the harsh side of the world before his time, who looked at everyone with envy and wanted them to drink the same bitter poison of loneliness with their dark morning teas as he did. In him, I saw myself.

I realized that the people I loved didn't die, they only came back in a different form.

And now that I see myself in a mirror, growing old and dilapidated, my youth gradually fading, I shrug it off. Because I may grow old, but I'm immortal. My will would pass down generations. I'll be ivory boned and pulpous marrow, collagen fibre and flesh deconstructed into elements. I'll be southern rains and tepid tides against foreign shores. I'd be the sun drenched landscapes and trails never taken.

I'll live on.

But as long as I'm breathing, the idea of someone waiting for me to come back home didn't sound too bad. The idea of relying on someone was still there, for I was still a broken wing too far from flying.

A gentle breeze blew past ivory haired man I saw in the reflection of store windows, as he carelessly made his way down the pebbled streets of Konoha, his hands stuffed in his pockets, his face veiled by his infamous mask while his thoughts wandered far off the edges of this world.

The weather was unexpectedly calm today, dark clouds shrouded the blue sky, a drunken crescent followed the sinking sun into the horizon. It was easy to tell it was about to rain soon.

There was peace all over the village, particularly due to the absence of a loud mouthed knucklehead ninja who had left the village to train with master jiraiya. Almost three years had passed since the boy was gone and he'd be back about anytime soon, completely transformed by the magic of puberty's wand.

A part of me was annoyed, having to babysit the loud child again, who had possibly grown even more annoying by now. But the rest couldn't contain my excitement. I was beyond glad to have my student back, the child had inherited so much of Minato sensei's genes that I saw my late sensei in the child, I could barely wait to see him all grown up, stronger than ever and maybe even smarter - okay, never mind that.

My feet halted between the pebbled trajectory as I saw the leaf's interrogation department building right up ahead. I considered, I was free for today so I might as well pay a visit and see if there was any new spy caught today.

Sighing at my own boredom, I walked inside and took several turns up the labyrinthine building, on my way I spotted Ibiki walking in the other direction, he looked frustrated, which was quite uncharacteristic for him specifically.

"Kakashi." Ibiki grinned upon recognizing me.

"Everything all right? You don't look too good--"

"Its a loud one this time." Ibiki sighed as I leaned against the wall in amusement, "Yelling and shoving her passport in my face is all she does."

"If that's so, she must be a normal tourist." I shrugged, "Why interrogate her?"

"She isn't a spy all right. She's a local tourist, but a weird one at that. One can't even be mad at her because then, she makes that crying baby face and the whole team suddenly becomes vulnerable to it -- ITS SO FRUSTRATING." Ibiki explained.

"That's unlikely." I chuckled in response, "She must be something if that's the case."

"She sure is." Ibiki shook his head and before turning on his heals, "Inoichi is dealing with her now."

"Why is she a suspect though?" I questioned, curiosity bubbling up inside my chest.

"Eh, how do I put it? -- She had a strange sort of chakra. Its almost unbelievable, so unique we couldn't afford to ignore it. She came in the path of a hyuga who happened to have his byakugan activated, its a coincidence really, as soon as he looked at her chakra flow, it wasn't blue like that of a normal person, rather it was a bright gold. That's not even the weird part, the vision was so bright and powerful, even the hyuga had to suffer through a temporary blindness." Ibiki explained, "The chakra was similar to that of a tailed beast's. Though on the contrary, it was completely calm and soothing. How do I put it -- Elysian."

His words seem to fly right over my head, my eyes widened significantly in rather shock than amusement this time.

"When reported to lady Tsunade, we took her under our wing. But I'm perplexed. The complicated part is, she claims she suffered from amnesia a few years back and was found in Iwagakure, therefore she has no permanent residence, clan or any background history.

She's a vagabond and has taken up travelling around the globe as her occupation. Her passport was made in Iwagakure but she isn't a resident of the place. It's so confusing, it's as if, her existence was erased from history -- well, that's all she told me other than 'Let me go or I'll sue you.' Now only Inoichi would tell if she's telling the truth."

"Hm, mind if I tag along? Curiosity got the better of me." I gave a quick laugh.

"Sure, follow me." Ibiki began walking and the I trailed after him until we reached a certain quarter that was under Inoichi of the great Yamanaka clan.

We spotted Inoichi almost immediately, taking off his gloves and setting aside his gear with a nervous frown on his face. He watched the us walk in and gave a small smile.

"How did it go with the psycho girl?" Ibiki asked.

Inoichi's frown returned as he quietly looked away, "I can't say she was lying. Her mind had no traces of memory other than that of three years ago. The rest of her life was spent travelling to different places. She forgot the rest. Doesn't remember her family, her hometown, her friends, her clan, nothing at all. She only knows her name, that's all."

"See, it's like looking at a blank canvas." Ibiki grumbled.

All I could feel was complete and utter confusion at the complexity of her case.

"But that's not all --" Inoichi sighed wearily, "When I entered her mind, similar her chakra, it wasn't normal. How do I put it, it was calm and relaxing. There were pristine clouds, golden gates and even a stradivarius was playing. I can't even say she's a human. The place was so beautiful, it was heavenly--"

And I was more confused than I had ever been.

Ibiki sighed, and that's when another member of the interrogation squad interrupted, "WHAT IF SHES NOT A HUMAN. WHAT IF SHE'S AN ANGEL OR SOMETHING?!"

"Don't be ridiculous --" Ibiki scowled at the childish conclusion.

"Yes, he's right. Now is not the time to jump into stupid conclusions." Came a familiar feminine voice, "It was still rather rude of us to just arrest a tourist like that. We have no excuse for holding her in any longer. We must apologize now and free her."

"Yes, lady Tsunade." Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Another thing Kakashi, at a moment like this, your Sharingan can come in handy. Keep a close eye on her, see if you can learn anything about her powers, she might still be a threat to the village." her amber eyes peered at me determinedly.

I sighed, so much for a 'visit'.

"Yes, Lady Tsunade." I spoke in a monotonous voice.

"Very well then, I'll see her now." She looked at the entrance of the room the suspect was held in.

She entered the room confidently before signalling me to follow.

There was something strange, like a pull. As if something truly different waited on the other side of the door.

Giving a brief sigh, I opened the door and my eyes landed on a figure seated near the window. My eye adjusted to the brightness of the room and then my blank gaze was met by a pair of warm [e/c] orbs, glimmering in the faint light of the sun that washed her smooth [s/c] skin in an empyrean glow. Her [h/l] hair were tied in a loose ponytail while her bangs perfectly framed her [f/s] shaped face. Her plump pink lips were pursed and her perfectly plucked eyebrows were knitted in a furious scowl, I knew the reason why.

She was a vision of elegance and poise, an embodiment of sophistication wrapped in an old yukata.

I wouldn't even consider it before, but after seeing her face, I began to doubt if the person who had guessed her to be an angel was wrong.

And then realization dawned upon me. He knew this girl. This face, it was flashing somewhere at the back of my mind. We had met before. Flashbacks from past were projected before my eyelids. I couldn't remember when or where, but this face, there was no way I could forget it.

A heartbeat passed and the two gazes danced a ballet on thick clouds of confusion and shock.

My lips quivered and then I spoke without even processing the thought, "(y/n)?"

And the spell of silence was broken.