Chapter 54

Ni hindi ako nakapagsalita nang bigla akong hatakin ni Ate Gina papunta sa may bahay nila sa likuran. I just went downstairs to eat breakfast. It was Sunday. My parents were here. Kakain kami ng breakfast. Then, I would wait for Austin to drive me to therapy tapos ay sinabi niya na pupunta kami sa shoot.

"Ano ba 'yang bata ka!" she said. My forehead was creased. I had no idea what she was talking about. She just pulled me with her without saying anything. "Nako magpasalamat ka talaga at ako ang unang naka-kita sa 'yo kundi magpaalam ka na sa 'late night walks' niyong dalawa ni Austin! Ganyan pala ang ginagawa niyo, ha!" she said as she pulled a drawer open at saka naglabas siya ng concealer. She asked me to hold my hair habang may nilalagay siya na concealer sa may leeg ko.

"What are you doing?"

"Nililigtas ko ang magulang mo sa pagka-bigla."

"Ano ba 'yung nasa leeg ko?" I asked. There was no mirror around.

"Ano ba 'yang si Austin? Gold fish ba 'yan?" she replied, not really answering my question. I stood there for five minutes before she told me na tapos na siya. She said na ilugay ko iyong buhok ko at saka 'wag kong hahawakan iyong parte na iyon para hindi raw mawala iyong make-up. Hindi kasi masyadong kakulay daw ng balat ko kaya mahahalata nila Mama kapag tinitigan.

"Karaminah Viel," she said, holding me by my shoulders. "Dalaga ka na talaga."

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Matagal na," I said.

She shook her head and she looked like she was about to cry. "Basta ha, mag-iingat kayo ni Austin," she said.

"We're always careful," I replied. Austin wouldn't even drive when the traffic lights are orange. He didn't want to beat the red light. And he wouldn't drive hanggang hindi naka-suot iyong seatbelt ko.

We returned to the house, and we ate our breakfast. After that ay nakipaglaro ako kay BV and Blue. BV was becoming more energetic as compared to before where he seemed to be lethargic. I fed them and gave them the new toys I bought for them. Then they walked out on me.

Austin picked me up after lunch. I was wearing a loose jeans that I folded up to my ankle, white shirt mataas iyong neckline and naka-tuck in, a black belt, and white Oran sandals. Suot ko rin iyong binigay niya na bracelet. Hindi ko iyon matanggal dahil nasa kanya iyong screwdriver. I told him na ibabalik ko sa kanya iyong bracelet kapag gusto niyang maging friends na lang kami. I didn't feel comfortable keeping such an expensive gift.

Pagbaba ko ay kausap ni Ate Gina si Austin na mapula iyong mukha. The shade of red on his face was the same shade of maraschino cherries.

"Are you sick?" I asked because his face and his ears were red.

"No," he replied.

"Mag-iingat kayo, hane," sabi ni Ate Gina. Austin nodded.

Paglabas namin ay dumiretso kami sa sasakyan niya. I immediately buckled my seatbelt because of Ate Gina's reminder to be careful.

Austin drove me to Dr. Sena's clinic. He stayed in the car habang nasa therapy ako. I just talked to Dr. Sena about what was happening in my life. I was more at ease. I just told her about Austin and how I was worried about what would happen after college.

"Done?" tanong niya nang maka-balik ako sa sasakyan.

"Yes," I replied. Inabutan niya ako ng tumbler. "Is this for me?"

"Yes," he said. "Got you a tumbler because I didn't know for how long the therapy's going to be, and I didn't want the ice to melt."

"Thank you," I replied. That was thoughtful of him.

Austin didn't ask me kung ano ang pinag-usapan namin sa therapy. He asked me kung saan iyong shooting. I told him kung saan iyong shooting based doon sa calendar ng shoot sa google calendar. It was outside the metro, so we arrived at 4:09PM. Nakita agad namin iyong set-up. They were currently filming.

My lips parted. "That's act 19," I said.

"Let's go," he said.

"We can stay here," sabi ko sa kanya. Ryder looked so convincing... Tama nga si George sa pagpili sa kanya. He was so good. I wasn't seeing Ryder, but the character doon sa scene na pinag-uusapan nila na burned out na iyong lead actress at pinag-iisipan niya kung uuwi na siya.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yes," I replied as I was still watching the confrontation scene. It looked so good... if only I could hear them say the lines I wrote. But I needed to stay here dahil baka mawala sa mood si Ryder kapag pumunta ako roon.

Austin and I stayed in his car habang pinapanood namin. Naka-apat na take sila sa scene na iyon dahil nagkakamali iyong babaeng lead, but Ryder was very professional at inuulit niya lang iyong ginagawa niya.

"Are you sure you don't want to go there, so you can hear the lines?" he asked.

"I don't want to get Ryder out of the zone," sagot ko sa kanya.

"But it's your script."

"I know," I replied.

"You can demand to be there."

"Maybe," I said. "But I don't want to."

Remembering Ryder's face when I told him I wanted to stop dating, I remembered how I felt when Austin told me that he wanted to be friends. That hurt. At that time, I didn't know that it hurt... But Ryder knew that it hurt. Kaya nga napa-away siya sabi ng mga fans niya.

I hurt him.

I needed to distance myself and to respect his healing process. Everyone around me kept on telling me that Ryder didn't really like me dahil ako ang pinapa-punta niya sa shooting nila. I disagreed. He really did like me. He's just got a different way of showing it kagaya ng ibang pagpapakita ko ng pagka-gusto ko kay Austin. And he never demanded that I go to him—he always asked me. It was my choice to accommodate him, so if there was anyone to blame, it would be me.

We stayed to watch another scene which was a party scene kaya dumami iyong mga tao. There was a kissing scene, too, but it seemed like the female lead was having problems, so George stepped in and did a demonstration with Ryder.

"Watching this feels weird," Austin said.

"There's a love scene after," sabi ko.

Tumingin sa akin si Austin. "You... wrote a love scene?"

I nodded. "The story calls for it," sabi ko.

"Will... we stay for that?" he asked.

"I don't think we'll see that," sabi ko sa kanya dahil ang policy ni George kapag ganoon ay iyong essential crew lang ang nasa set para kumportable iyong mga artista.

Nagstay kami hanggang sa may lumapit sa amin na member ng crew, si Jea.

"Karma!" she said nang ibaba namin iyong bintana dahil kumatok siya. "Kanina ka pa?"

"Yes."

"Dun ka sa tent," she replied. "Also, pwede paatras 'tong sasakyan kasi may iseset-up para sa scene, e."

"Sure," Austin replied. Tumingin siya sa akin. "You wanna go out?" he asked.

"Sama ka na," sabi ni Jea. "Kailangan pa ng tao para sa party scene. Sama kayo ni Austin."

"Busy ba si Ryder? I'll talk to him first."

Tumingin si Jea. Kausap pa ni George iyong lead. "Wait tawagin ko," she said tapos ay umatras si Austin at huma-hanap ng ibang parking.

When we saw Jea walking towards us ay lumabas ako ng sasakyan. Austin stayed inside the car, but he told me kung pupunta ako roon ay sasamahan niya ako.

"Tinanong ko, pero 'di sumagot," Jea said.

"I understand."

"Di rin naman nagsabi na 'wag kang papuntahin?"

"I'll just watch the movie when it's done."

"Okay..." sabi ni Jea.

Bumalik na ako sa sasakyan. Austin asked me kung manonood ba kami, but instead, I told him that we should head back to Manila. Tapos ay dumaan kami sa isang restaurant para kumain. I placed my order after Austin decided kung ano ang kakainin niya. We were waiting for our food when Austin got his phone. His forehead was in deep crease. I didn't ask him what was wrong because that was his phone and his privacy.

"Karaminah Viel," he said.

"Yes?" I replied.

"I know you said you don't care about this... but I hate reading things like this about you," sabi niya.

"What things?"

"There are some pictures from earlier," he stated. I remained quiet. "They're tagging me saying you went there to get back together with Ryder."

"That's not true."

"I know. But they're implying that you were begging and that he basically threw you out."

I remained silent.

"Do you care?" I asked.

"Yes."

"What do you want to do?" tanong ko dahil siya naman ang may pakielam. I had been doing this exercise para hindi ako makinig sa mga ingay sa paligid ko. I had been doing really well. I only really listen to the people who cared about me, and I tuned out everybody else.

"Can... I post a picture of you?"

"And that will solve your problem?"

"I don't know," he said. "But maybe it'll tell them to backoff knowing that we're together and you're not 'begging' to get back with Ryder."

"Okay," I replied. "If that's what you want."

"Do you want to see before I post?"

Umiling ako. "But do you have pictures of me to post?"

He nodded. "Yes—the ones from before and the ones from now. I also want to take stolen photos, but I feel like I need permission... so, can I take candid photos of you?"

I shrugged. "Sure," sabi ko sa kanya tapos ay mabilis niya akong kinuhanan ng picture habang nagsasalita pa ako. My mouth was probably hanging wide open, but if it makes him happy, then so be it. It's just a picture, anyway.

The food arrived and I really enjoyed the mushroom risotto and the fillet mignon. Austin got the seared scallops and carbonara. After dinner ay nagpasama si Austin na pumunta sa mall dahil may bibilhin siya para sa condo niya.

"This or this?" he asked while showing me two different rugs.

"I don't know," I replied. "Hindi ko naman alam itsura ng condo mo, so I don't know what will fit."

He nodded. "Do... you want to go visit my condo?"

"Okay," I replied. "When?"

"Tomorrow?"

"Okay. After ng work mo?"

"Yes. I'll pick you up after work. You wanna have dinner there?"

"Marunong kang magluto o oorder tayo?"

"I've been watching Hell's Kitchen," he replied. "I wanna try making a steak."

"Okay," I said. "I think it's hard to mess up a steak."

His lips parted. "Oh, is that a challenge I am hearing, Karaminah Viel?"

I shook my head. "Not at all. I am looking forward to the steak, Austin." He frowned. "Why?" I asked, and then I remembered him texting me saying that if I would consider it, he'd like me to call him baby but it felt weird. He's not a baby—he's a giant, if any.

I drew a deep breath. He really wanted this. I would try.

"Baby," I said, feeling really weird.

He was fighting a smile. "Yes?"

"Why can't I just call you Austin?"

"It feels like we're just friends."

"But we kiss a lot—how are we friends if we do that?"

He shrugged. "You'll get used to it."

"If I don't? Can I just call you Austin?"

"Try getting used to it first."

"Fine..." I replied. Maybe I'd just stop referring to him by his name, so that I wouldn't have to use that term.

Austin didn't end up buying the rug because he said na bibili na lang siya kapag naka-punta na ako sa condo niya para tulungan ko siyang magdesisyon. Hinatid niya na ako sa bahay. He didn't ask to walk around the subdivision. He just gave me a quick kiss on the lips bago ako bumaba.

I took a shower dahil maghapon akong nasa labas. Then while I was blow-drying my hair, Austin sent a message with a link. I clicked it and it was a link to his post on Instagram. It was a carousel of pictures—iyong pinaka-una ay iyong picture ko kanina nang dumating na iyong pagkain and I was looking at the food. Tapos may picture nung beach trip namin sa Batangas, iyong movie nights, nung sa championship, sa stolen shot nung suot ko iyong jacket niya nung sinabi ko na pwede siyang manligaw, nung birthday ko, at pinaka-huli iyong picture namin sa photobooth na naka-patong sa may kama niya. The caption was 'Always' and may comments doon ng mga kapatid niya at mga teammates niya sa SCA. 

**
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